Last night I was scouring Instagram for all sorts of research and I saw a post by GG promoting part two of the reunion. I was completely sure it must be an old post because it seems like this show ended a month ago. Is it me or was this the longest week ever? Anyway, it’s time to officially close this season out.
We are dropped right back into the drama over how Asa conceived everyone has an opinion on this. Reza says he believes that Asa conceived naturally and he hates himself for “having doubt.” What does that mean, he hates himself for having doubted her in the first place or he hates himself because he still has doubt? He says that Asa was worried about bumping into MJ at at the clinic. Asa says she never said that. Reza says that her denial about saying that is the reason their relationship is in the mess it is in right now. MJ thinks that her reaction to Asa’s pregnancy was one that any good friend would have. MJ is wrong.
They take a lunch break. Asa calls home to skype with the baby. The rest of the group rags on Asa. Asa everyone else goes back to set, Golnesa sits alone in a chair and seems to be in some sort of respiratory distress. Probably a panic attack. She asks for the paramedics. She tells him that she just smoked some pot (probably for anxiety) and lost her breath coming up and down the stairs. When Andy asks Golnesa what happened to necessitate a paramedic she says she just got light-headed on the stairs. Andy responds, “Is he a good kisser?” Because that is what sex crazed sociopaths do. I would suggest drinking every time Andy makes a sexual reference, but I don’t want to encourage alcohol poisoning.
Andy reads a question that asks if Golnesa went to rehab, why is she still drinking. She says that she has never claimed to be sober. Andy asks if she is still high now. She says it’s been about an hour and a half since she smoked. Really, five seconds ago she told the paramedic she just smoked some pot. Next we find out that Golnesa and her sister do not speak. Mike says that there is no chance of the sisters reconciling.
I swear I feel like I have already seen this reunion.
Golnesa talks about Shalom as if everything is fine now. Reza points out that she was stabbing herself with a knife where the Shalom tattoo is recently. I’m sad to hear that, I thought GG was doing better. Golnesa says that they broke up because they found out that he was married before and that he had tried to apply for a green card before and she felt like that is why he married her.
When Shalom came out Golnesa seemed legitimately pissed he was there. I think her position that everything is good now and we are slowly getting to know each other is about to be blown up. Shalom came out and kissed everyone except GG. He says they are working on their relationship. GG says that she flipped out when the day after the wedding, E! News called the house returning a call from Shalom saying he wanted to get an interview. The cast all loves Shalom. They think GG will stay with him. I don’t like him for her.
Mike has no storyline. Of course Andy wants to talk about Mike’s dool. Didn’t we talk about this on part one? I swear I have seen all of this before. Raise your hand if you think Mike and Jessica have had sex in the past year, results in all hands in the air. Why is Mike even on this show?
Adam is finally allowed to join the reunion couch for the first time. Adam says that Asa is the best friend he has ever had. They remain very close. Golnesa says that Reza has really calmed down a lot since being married. Mike says Reza is trying to become a better person every day to live up to Adam. Reza says that he has been completely faithful to Adam since they have been married. He does says that maybe ten years from now he would like to have a conversation with him about some sort of open relationship with boundaries. Adam looks sick to his stomach as he is saying this. Reza seems to be taking his monogamy one day at a time like a sex addict in recovery. Meanwhile, Adam is focused on the big picture and is converting to Judaism so that the entire family will be Jewish. The baby plan is that Adam will have a biological child through a surrogate first and then they will consider adoption. They have sold the Palm Springs house and have purchased another house to raise their family in. Mike and MJ are pissed that Reza didn’t tell anyone they bought a house two weeks ago. Seriously. What is wrong with these people? Is this how the friend thing works?
Asa is berated again for not talking about her relationship with Jermaine to the extent these fools feel entitled to. GG wants to know why she is on the show. She answers that she has political, cultural, social and artistic views and values that the show allows her to showcase. YES! And that was supposedly what this show was supposed to be about. Those things Asa shares. She also pointed out that she shared some financial struggles. The point of the show was to showcase the cultural values of the Iranian diaspora in Beverly Hills. It was never about anal bleaching. That is something we do not care to have shared with us. Asa goes on to talk about sharing the Iranian food, and her family and how they interact. Mike responds with “That’s all surface.” WTF? What the hell has Mike shared on this show other than the misadventures of his golden dool?
Andy asks Asa if she still cares about her friends. She says that the season has been a very difficult one for her because she feels like her friends were not there for her in the happiest time of her life. She says she has a lot of thinking to do about what comes next.
MJ says with regard to her relationship with Asa this whole day accomplished nothing. Mike says he feels really bad about how things are within the group. Reza says they he has faith MJ and Asa will mend fences and says they are all one family. Then he makes shitty comments to Shervin. Reza pretends that next year he and Adam will be in their house and hopefully pregnant. “Hopefully pregnant” will be his story line for the next three seasons if the show lasts that long.
The second they complete the final toast everyone literally grabs their shit and runs. Sherv hugs Asa on the way out and says to give Jermaine his best. Asa says she will and she loves him. She kisses Mike goodbye in his dressing room. She apologizes for calling him a racist. They kiss and make up. Over in MJ’s dressing room she mutters, “dumbest day of my life” as Reza walks in and asks if there is hope for a reconciliation with Asa. She says no. Shalom and GG hug and kiss and leave in separate cars. Shalom says, “I’ll see you back home.”
And that is the end of the season.