Hey y’all. It’s, TT! CJBomb had some night time Mom Taxi things to do tonight so since Flipping Out is done for the season, I can finally watch this show in real time and I’ll be subbing for CJ and Leslie tonight. Sorry to disappoint. But at least I can bash Brandon freely and with much abandon in their absence.
And as soon as I typed that, there is Brandon saying to Kentaro, “It’s crazy man, we’ve made it to the Goddamn end! I can’t believe it, I’m proud of you, bro!” He either doesn’t seem to realize there are two more challenges before Fashion Week, or this is bad editing. In his confessional he says he feels like he has proven himself and he’s ready to go on to the next thing. Then he laughs and says, “Can I just win already?” I hope this editing is made for us all to be thrilled by his downfall, but I’m not sure PR producers are that savvy.
The three remaining females are in their room dreaming of an all girls finale. That will never happen. Two of you are going to get auf’d. Margarita realizes that she has to show the judges her aesthetic on this challenge. They keep saying they don’t know who she is as a designer. I feel like that is what the judges say when they put someone in the bottom for no good reason.
The challenge this week is a breast cancer centered one. I’m not really up for this since a friend of this site was just diagnosed with breast cancer today. So forgive me if I don’t stress the cancer stories in this recap.
To make things even more depressing, they have Tim Gunn in sweat pants in a boxing ring. We do not want to see Tim Gunn in sweat pants! That’s like seeing Santa in his underwear. I really didn’t think the boxing ring was needed to explain the challenge. #ShamelessPromotion
The Challenge: The designers have two days and $250 to make a high fashion editorial “warrior” look inspired by breast cancer survivors.
Immediately, Brandon starts talking to us about dropped crotches and strapping details, because why change what he has been doing every single week? The judges seem to love it. Margarita is especially emotional about this challenge due to family members with cancer. Kentaro is going Japanese Samurai with pleating. Because, why change now? The judges seem to love it. Kenya is off to a slow start. She sits down for a bite to eat. She has no idea what she is making. She completes nothing on day one. Because, why stop now? It’s gotten you this far.
Kentaro tries on Brandon’s dropped crotch pants. He likes them because they make him look like he has a big penis. I wonder how the model will feel about that? Ayana has way too much going on with her shirt: ruffles, pleats, stripes. It’s too much. Kenya literally has not a damn thing. Margarita has a beautiful red gown.
After another lengthy and braggadocious confessional from Brandon, we see that he has literally copied Kentaro’s top for this competition. Kentaro’s is black, Brandon’s is white with some ridiculous strap detail. That has got to violate bro code. Kentaro is being very polite, but he did point it out.
Tim Gunn’s Critique
Tim Gunn says that Ayana’s top is a real “wow moment” and he is crazy about it. Very high praise from Tim. So either I’m wrong or TIm Gunn damaged his head in the boxing ring. I am a fan of Ayana but I am not a fan of this work so far.
Tim tells Kentaro that he has too many layers and needs to edit his look down to a single idea rather than several competing ideas.
Praise the baby Jesus for Tim Gunn! The first thing he says to Brandon is that there is no doubt who the designer is. Then after Brandon mutters a lot of mumbo jumbo, Tim asks him if he is doing enough, and in some kind Tim Gunn way basically says this looks like every other damn thing he has sent down the runway all season. Clearly, Tim Gunn’s head injury has been healed.
Tim gives Kenya some constructive criticism for her dress which she listens to gladly. He also says she is the only designer in the room who has not won a challenge. While this is true a good case could be made that she was robbed on at least two challenges. Her dress doesn’t look like much at the moment. Tim tells her on a scale of one to ten, her dress needs to be a twenty. She’s got some work to do.
Margarita’s red dress is stunning; however, she has this theoretical concept of a corset over the dramatic gown to symbolize friends and family holding the warrior together. That’s a lovely sentiment but she did the corset in gold lamé and it looks horrible. HORRIBLE! Tim agrees and simply asks, “How do you feel the gold works with the red?” when every fiber of his being must be screaming, “That corset looks like crap! ” The other designers say her dress with the corset looks like a Wonder Woman costume. They are right. The suddenly, Tim has a swelling of the brain. He says he likes that it borders on a literal Wonder Woman costume. Tim tells her to take the risk and that you can’t worry about whether or not they get the theoretical concept.
Oh noe. Ayana has the phone call from home scene!
Liris is finally walking down the runway in Kenya’s look. Both are thrilled. It’s a great week for Kenya to have Liris. Liris will strut down the runway in whatever she is given like it’s a Balenciaga couture gown. Jazzmine on the other hand is not happy with Kentaro’s sweater. Her head is too big for the neck hole and Kentaro is basically going to cut off half her head to get it on her if he has to. Also, he’s been quietly mentioning “plus sized model” here and there while making a look for a tiny Japanese girl. Kentaro had to make all new pieces because his gorgeous sweater and another look were too small. Kentaro is completely screwed. He’s trying to throw something together at the last minute. Let’s hope it is better than the Mexican Doll for tourists crap he came up with last week. He made two or three layers for Jazzmine and it is a lot of black layers. It’s like a big black toga with extra unnecessary netting on top. Kentaro is in trouble.
First up is Brandon. I call his look “The Hand Maiden Has Been Shredded.” Her penis is massive! And she has a serious load in her diaper.
Ayana’s look is hideous. I know Tim loves it, but it’s a no for me. Brandon, who usually criticizes all the female designers’ looks thinks Ayana’s look could beat his.
Margarita’s dress looks better than expected so far. She really doesn’t have much competition this week.
Kentaro’s bulky black look is horrid but the addition of a bright purple lipstick from Avon just makes it unbelievably bad. Kentaro can’t work with a plus size model. This is two weeks in a row of proof of that theory.
Kenya’s dress once again came out amazing. Liris rocked it on the runway. The entire look worked. Kenya may have gotten her first win.
This was the worst runway of the season. Which is not good considering this is the top five. My picks for top two are Kenya and Margarita with Kenya for the win. The other three all sucked and Kentaro should be going home only to be saved by Tim.
Heidi says the judges were kind of all over the place this week.
I wish Kenya was better at pitching her look. She said in confessional that the petals on her shoulders represented all the burdens on the shoulders of women. THAT was what she should have said to the judges. Heidi says Liris looks incredible and this is the first designer who has gotten her look 100% right. Nina says this proves that you don’t need gimmicks to show power. She also likes detailing from the waist up. Really Nina? That is where 91.2% of all detailing is on women’s dresses. Guest judge Rachel loves it. Zac says this is what he’s been waiting to see from her. It’s a hit.
Heidi, the moron, tells Brandon that his look is kind of out there but she feels like he is creating something really new? Does she remember any of the other weeks when he sent basically the same thing down the runway? Nina loves it. Here’s the thing about recapping, when someone like Nina goes on and on, I try to encapsulate her point into one or two sentences. I am realizing now that Nina uses her inflections and hand motions to distract us from the fact that she is not saying anything of substance at all. Rachel is cumming all over herself. So is Nina. Zac is gushing. He even said “poopy pants” as in these are the best darn poopy pants ever to be on the runway. I think this show is just on the air to torture the viewers with the judges stupidity. This fucktard is going to win again with the same damn crap.
Margarita gives a great pitch to the judges, but I can tell by their faces they don’t like it. At least Zac doesn’t get it. He says the gold corset looks “clubby.” Rachel, the guest judge, fully understands the look after Margarita’s pitch. Heidi says without the pitch it’s just a Wonder Woman costume that was poorly tailored. Margarita had to bunch up some of the dress fabric underneath the belt and it does look bad. Heidi points out she had two days for this. Nina says that the dress is a costume with a cliché corset.
Rachel tells Kentaro that she can’t see his model’s body at all. Nina says she sees more monastic than majestic. Editorially, Nina says it lacks both form and color. She says it would just be a black blob on the page. Heidi says from the waist up, there is not enough. Zac has concerns about Kentaro’s ability to edit.
THEN NINA CALLS KENTARO OUT AS A KNOCKOFF OF BRANDON’S LOOK!!! Um hello, that stupid hand maiden bonnet that you love on Brandon’s look was completely ripped off of Kentaro’s first look! They ask whose look came first. Kentaro actually covers for Brandon and says they both sketched turtlenecks independently. Then Nina says the “belt” around the neck of Kentaro’s look is just like Brandon’s. Brandon does not open his mouth.
They love Ayana’a look. Zack and Rachel are both blown away by the tailoring on the pants. Heidi says that you might think it is too busy but it is not. Oh, but it is. Nina loved it too. I guess it was a wow moment for them after all.
In the close up judging they all love Kenya, Ayana and Brandon’s looks. Heidi says, “I love how we can always tell which one is Brandon’s.” I pause to refill my wine glass to keep from banging my head. They hate Kentaro (who should have been voted off last week) and Margarita’s looks. Tim defends Margarita’s look. I think he will save whoever gets voted out tonight.
KENYA WAS FUCKING ROBBED AGAIN! Brandon got the win. Margarita was voted out. I hate these stupid judges. Margarita is devastated. Tim comes in and uses his save on Margarita! Brandon looks pissed. Tim says he loves Margarita’s look and instigates a group hug. So basically, we are right back where we started.
Next week: It’s the final challenge. Two will go home in the maddening position of just missing NY Fashion week by a hair. My guess is it will be Margarita and Kenya but I am hoping that one or both of the guys get sent packing. I’d love an all girl final three.