The thing about these people is that even though some of them knew each other before the show, none of these people are actually friends. Even if the were friends in the beginning, the reality show has them all turning on each other for a dollar. It’s sad. You often hear people say, “money is the root of all evil.” That’s not true and it is also a misquote. The actual quote is 1 Timothy 6:10, ” For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” To be fair, the Quran has a bit of a different take on wealth. In general wealth if fine as long as you are using it to support your family.
During the greetings, which Andy did in horrific Farsi for some reason, Andy asked Asa if the baby was there. She said, “No but he might be coming later because I’m breastfeeding.” Which was fine to say. Then she had to go on and say, “Which is a lot of work, by the way.” Oh, Asa, I am team you, but that is the sort of thing the haters cling to and will say it makes you seem dramatic.
Andy wants everyone who has had work done to raise their hands. MJ refuses to raise hers and says that she is not going to discuss that question. Andy tells her that she has been complaining all season that Asa in not transparent. Point for Andy! Asa says that everyone one on the stage is open and transparent about the things they choose to be. Asa says to MJ, “For example are those your natural lips?” When MJ lies and says yes, Asa says they know people who went to high school with MJ and those are not her natural lips.
Mike suddenly goes in on GG for no reason. It’s so confusing to me and to Andy that he just decides to move on. His target is Asa so he asked her about motherhood. She says it’s two extremes, it’s so magical and joyous but it is so hard. Andy wants to know why she won’t show her son on camera. Because it is a really stupid thing to do that is why! I can think of many babies and children that reality TV viewers have viciously attacked and there is absolutely no need for it. Asa says that Jerome doesn’t want their child to be in the public eye. He’s never asked Bethenny these sort of questions about Bryn.
Asa and Mike get into an argument because Mike believes that Asa made him out to be a racist because he brought up the fact that Jermaine was black. Mike responds with his provided talking points about Asa, “You’re fake, you’re false, you’re a liar.” Mike gives Asa an apology for offending her. Asa accepts it and then says that his casual racism shows his cultural insensitivity to black people. Oh Asa. Just accept the apology, which seemed sincere, and move on.
On to Israel where the cast also had an issue with Asa. But first we have to clear up that when Reza said, “Fuck Iran” he meant the government that is a terrorist government that stones and kills gay people, not the citizens of Iran.
We see some crazy unseen footage in Israel of a dinner scene that got a bit hostile. There was a dispute over the bill and the owner of the restaurant went crazy because he felt he was owed more money. Reza says he asked for more money and the producer said, “No problem!” and all the guy understood was no and problem. Security had to escort everyone quickly to the van.
Reza called Acca a “Muslim ghetto.” Mike and Reza not being able to be in a Muslim part of Israel was an abhorrent display of religious intolerance in the very community that is celebrated for its religious tolerance. We see a clip of Reza on Hollywood medium where the guy says that Reza’s grandfather wanted to congratulate him on his wedding. So when we go to heaven instead of enjoying eternal life in a state of spiritual bliss, we’re all going to sit around and watch our families on earth like one eternal reality show? Really? Reza says when he was at the wall he felt an energy embrace him and it was a beautiful moment. Sherv says he saw him feel it and it was amazing. GG pipes up with her feelings of resistance to the whole experience and before she can finish her sentence Mike speaks up to tell her to be very careful what she says because he’s stuck up for her all season. Mike and Reza are offended by GG’s desire to break down the wall. She views it as barrier between the Jews and the Muslims.
It’s time to talk to MJ, Tommy and Vida. MJ said her dad is doing a lot better. MJ takes full responsibility for the huge blowout fight with Tommy. Tommy says he is now ready to have a baby with MJ and cannot wait. Vida says she doesn’t think MJ is ready to have a baby. Vida says that MJ was unplanned and people seem offended by that statement. MJ admits that Vida wasn’t present for her when she was a child and she was raised by her father. The implication is that Vida doesn’t have any say in when MJ is ready because she’s never raised a child. Vida says she has gotten to know Tommy and she’s starting to like him. Everyone’s jaw drops. She says that Tommy is always cooking great food for her and they walk their dogs together. They seem to have a real bond. Tommy says that he likes Vida more than MJ and that Vida is hilarious and there is no funnier person on the planet than Vida. THEN, VIDA SAYS SHE TOLD MJ THAT IF SHE DOESN’T MARRY TOMMY SHE WILL! Andy is SHOOKETH. Andy asked when they are going to get married. Tommy says he will marry her today in front of everyone here. Whenever she decides she is ready and her dad is in a good place, he says, “Let’s rock!” Andy says he is ordained in New York. No, you are not ordained, Andy Cohen and never will be. You are licensed to officiate weddings. God he is stupid. MJ ad Tommy seem down with letting Andy marry them in New York. It would be convenient because that is where all of Tommy’s friends and family live.
Andy asks Vida which of the group has been changed for the better. She says Mike has become more mature and more relaxed and for that she likes him. Of course she says Asa has changed for the worse. She trashed her last year on WWHL. She says Asa is the most ungrateful person she came to this country with one suitcase, now she has everything and she owes all that to the show and yet she says she doesn’t watch the show. When the segment ends and Vida is leaving Asa turns to Andy and says, “So you guys just like to bring Vida out to shit on me.” Andy says no, she usually shits on MJ. Someone said, “She did call MJ ‘unplanned’.” Well, it’s not like she called her a bastard child.
Destiney comes out to join the group. She’s likely to be Asa’s replacement next season. Destiney has a full six feet of weave in.
Sherv says that his relationship with Annalise is an open relationship. Sherv says he lied about being in an exclusive relationship because Annalise did not want it to be public. The cast does not believe him. Destiney just rails on Sherv. Sherv whips out his iPad and brings up Annalise on Facetime. Andy asks her if she is in an open relationship with Sherv. At this point MJ waddles off the stage muttering, “This is a good time to take a shot. Annalise says yes. She says it is asinine for him to be monogamous when she spends most of her time on the other side of the world. Andy asks her if she is dating in Australia she says she is not and Destiney rolls her eyes and says, “No, of course not.” Why the fuck do you care so much about Sherv’s love life, Destiney? You just made a big deal about screaming that none of the dools on this stage are for you. What are you tracking Shervin’s dool so hard? You seem fascinated and somewhat proprietary with regard to Shervin’s dool. MJ returns and GG and MJ both say that Shervin’s entire interview was scripted.
It’s time to address MJ’s bastard comments. MJ says that she didn’t have any vitriol behind it. So it was a term of endearment, MJ? Who says that about a friend’s baby. Or anyone’s baby for that matter. Asa says she expects nothing less from MJ, but she wants to talk to Reza. She says to them if there was a derogatory term for the baby of two gay men, and someone used that term against his child, she would not just sit there eating her humus. She expected him to shut her down.
Instead of explaining his silence at the nasty words coming from MJ, he shifts the topic to Asa lying about using IVF. Reza says that he was floored when Asa shared that she had used IVF. He says his mind was racing what else was she going to share? That they went to the same doctor? That they were there at the same time? His mind was racing. Asa says they were not there at the same time. Reza says,”You didn’t tell me that you were worried you were going to bump into her at the doctor’s office?” She says no. Rezas says, “That’s why we are where we are in our relationship.”
Andy asks Reza why he didn’t share the information he had about Asa with MJ. Reza said because Asa told him not to, but that said, he kept hoping that the two would have an honest conversation so they could have supported each other in the situation. Asa says that she and MJ did not have a close relationship at the time. MJ contradicts that saying that actually Asa would call her during that time and they would talk for hours. Asa says MJ is mischaracterizing the relationship.
Andy brings up that Asa froze only male embryos and she got pregnant with a boy he asks if she can see why the group thinks that she was implanted with an embryo and that the pregnancy didn’t just happen the good old-fashioned way. She says they can think anything. Andy asks if she had IVF. She says yes, she had IVF to make the embryos but her son did not come from one of those embryos. Andy asks if she did IVF because she thought she could not get pregnant, she said no. She said she did IVF to have embryos in case she wanted to get pregnant later. This is actually the exact same reason MJ froze her eggs. She didn’t have anyone in her life when she did that and she wanted to bank her eggs for a future time. It is a bit odd that Asa fertilized her eggs though. Asa also says that she had a conversation with Reza about the eggs all being boys because she wanted a girl also. She said Reza said to try to get pregnant naturally first and maybe you will get your girl and then you will have the boys on ice. Reza admits they had that conversation. Asa says this is why she was so hurt by Reza. He had all the information and continued to rile up the troops to antagonize Asa.
Then because Andy Cohen is the most ratchet person in the world, he polls the group about whether or not they believe her. Mike says he does, everyone else thinks she used an embryo and Reza is the last to answer. Andy asks Reza and he says…
TO BE CONTINUED
Next week: The group thinks that Mike has slept with Jessica within the last year. Shalom joins the crew on the couch sending GG into one of her priceless, overly dramatic, attention seeking routines. The previews imply that Reza thinks gay marriages don’t include fidelity. Mike is sad about how fractured the group is. GG wants Asa to explain why she is on the show.