This is only episode two of this season and tonight battle lines will be drawn that will remain in place for the rest of the season. Siggy is FURIOUS that Teresa tossed the birthday cake. Even though the whole cake throwing nonsense has become a staple of all the Bravo shows. Especially, Shahs where no one on that show has ever been allowed to actually eat the cake. Siggy is actually, really pissed and will remain pissed for the entire season.
I’m over the new trend of the housewives calling their husbands to tell them about the fight they were just in. Now we have Frank, who isn’t even a husband having his own scene with Frankie. We have enough going on with the actual cast without all of these filler scenes.
Everyone except Siggy and Dolores head to the beach for yoga the next day. Teresa is the instructor. Siggy and Dolores go to a juice bar. Siggy is worried that the girls will behave badly when she takes them to her friend’s house later in the day.
At the beach they have a ceremony for Teresa’s mother. I can’t with that. Life is depressing enough without attending a funeral for someone I don’t even know. For some reason Margaret bought a wreath to set out to sea. Does Margaret even know Teresa? As I am typing that she says she just met Teresa 36 hours ago. I’ve got to fast forward through this now.
Finally, everyone comes together in the van to go to Siggy’s friend’s house. Siggy was expecting an apology. What she got instead was a van ride in awkward silence. Before going into the house, Siggy asks everyone to please behave themselves and be respectful. Now everyone is pissed and no one really wants to be there. The house is gorgeous and the outdoor space is amazing. They have a lovely tennis court and pool. Laura hired a lifeguard for the pool because Teresa can’t swim. She also hired a tennis instructor to give the ladies lessons. But first they have a champagne lunch. Danielle tells the hostess about Margaret’s lovely gesture to Teresa. This is the first Siggy is hearing of this and she is not please at all. Siggy is mad that Margaret didn’t call her so that she and Dolores could have been there. Dolores is pissed too.
Teresa and Melissa and Danielle are loving the swim lessons from the lifeguard. Teresa got the lesson but the other two found watching the lesson to be quite enjoyable.
After tennis and swimming, the two warring factions trash talk the others. Dinner will be at Siggy’s house so she and Dolores go there to set up while the other ladies go back to the hotel to clean up and get ready for dinner.
I find it amusing that Teresa, Melissa and Danielle are offended that Siggy pointed out she has a higher IQ than they do. The moment that you enter Siggy’s house you are treated to an arrangement of a dozen or more photos on the wall. They are all of Siggy.
I keep forgetting to recap. There is not much to say. Siggy hired Sexz Chef to cater some crab cakes. Nothing says keep it clazzy like Sexz Chef.
No one is talking at dinner. Siggy says that she can’t take the fact that people are not even addressing what happened. Someone tells her they are just trying to be polite. Siggy says that she cannot believe they did not apologize to her today. The laugh and are shocked that she feels she is owed an apology. I really hope there is no cake for dessert. Siggy denies saying all of the things she said. Margaret who is only in the group through Siggy has completely turned on her and calls her Soggy, because she cries over everything. Now I really can’t pick a side with this crazy, but Margaret is in Siggy’s home. Siggy was her entry ticket to the group and within three days she is going to just turn on her completely? That’s some lowdown behavior even for this bunch. Then Siggy calls them all trash again. I think I might have to be team Siggy on this one. Melissa and Danielle take special offense to being called trash. Melissa tells up that there are two thing you can’t call Jersey girls and that is stupid and trash.
Melissa storms out and Teresa says that no one calls her and her sister-in-law trash so she’s leaving too. Siggy offers a doggie bag and Teresa says she doesn’t want her fucking food and the crab cake was salty. The crab cake is not the only salty thing in this room. Everyone leaves except Dolores and the lines have been drawn.
Siggy is starving and Sexz Chef has the entrée ready. It’s dinner for two. Next week seems to be even more nonsensical fighting about the lack of common decency and basic decorum with these women.