By Guest Contributor Becky J.
First off—how has this never been a Housewives episode title before? Genius.
Annnd, we’re back in Mexico this week! This trip must be close to a Housewives world record for turning a little four-day vacation into many, many hours of show footage.
The episode picks up right at the point where Brandi is calling Cary out for telling her that her doctor killed people on the operating table. Cary responds that Brandi, “100% made that up.” Brandi says she didn’t. Cary is mad that Brandi isn’t defending her against LeeAnne’s latest “death threat” and fails to see the connection between bashing the two doctors. The takeaway here is that e’rybody acting stupid and dramatic death threats are just part of LeeAnne’s personality.
The group splits up after dinner and Cary does her usual girl’s trip thing (which I think is fine) and goes back to the hotel with Kameron to do face masks and hang out in flannel jammies and the rest of the women have a wild night at the tequila bar.
The next morning there is far too much footage of Kameron sucking up to Cary. Stephanie and Brandi decide to find the dildo, “Sexual Chocolate” to torture and embarrass Kameron some more. They ask LeeAnne where it is and she claims to have thrown it away. Also, D’Andra asks Brandi if she slept in her makeup and she says no, which is a total lie. Side note: I feel like Brandi and MJ from Shahs both smell like dogs, stale perfume, booze, self-tanner and desperation.
There is an awkward morning after with Cary facing Brandi. They don’t talk about the night before. D’Andra has planned a beach ropes course-type activity and broken them into teams based on who currently hates each other. It’s Brandi/Kameron, LeeAnne/Cary and D’Andra/Stephanie. It’s really funny to watch all the ladies struggle around in the sand during the obstacle course, especially LeeAnne. She redeems herself by winning the volleyball game. I hope she brought her painkillers…
They have lunch on the beach. Stephanie opens up about her son struggling in school. Cary says she has to wash the sand out of her vagina. Brandi wonders why Cary’s vagina talk doesn’t bother Kameron, but Sexual Chocolate does. Ugh! Now it’s time for Brandi and Stephanie to pose as the other ladies to gain access to LeeAnne’s room to find the dildo. Surprise, it’s under her pillow.
The ladies are on a afternoon yacht trip. The boat seems smallish to me, but I’m used to Valor I guess. I do like the gruff, leathery Captain—Below Deck Mexico perhaps? It’s bright and sunny, but Cary notices high winds and choppy waves. Kameron is not willing to let everybody get along and have a nice day, so she makes sure to stir the pot with her giant Disney Princess-looking hand mirror/phone case. She whispers behind her hand (like an 8th grader) to Cary that Stephanie and LeeAnne acting friendly is fake and reminds her to be mad about the night before.
Kameron must have realized how insignificant she is to the storyline, so she jumps right in the middle of everything and fucks up the fun of the boat trip. Then it becomes another airing of grievances. Cary gets called out for the “Rich has a small penis” comment, LeeAnne counters in her interview footage with a photoshopped cell phone pic of Rich where you can see the outline of a large dick through his pants. I personally think it’s the bottom half of an old pic of Jon Hamm.
Speaking of dicks, Brandi goes on a tirade about being in the middle of the ongoing Cary and LeeAnne fight. She quotes LeeAnne about saying Mark gets his dick sucked by guys at the Round Up (more free publicity for the Round Up). Cary almost laughs it off, which would have been the appropriate reaction if it’s not true, but then she gets all hurt. She tries to make LeeAnne feel like shit by bringing up the fact that Mark has three kids—aged 20, 16 and 4—who may someday see this show. It’s a valid point but she forgets LeeAnne is a sociopath, so she doesn’t care. LeeAnne just says she spends a lot of time in the LGBT community in Dallas and everybody knows Mark likes a good blowie, plus it would be cool to be first “bi-sexual couple” on Housewives.
The boat ride gets a little choppy, like just a little, and Stephanie starts puking. They are pretending it’s from the swells, but it’s really from the many tequila shots. Cary then starts puking, but just a little bit. It’s idiotic. LeeAnne gets in everybody’s face and claims that she always says sorry and owns her shit. Yeah, right. Then it somehow turns into another chance to play with the dildo.
Kameron stalks off to whine and pretend the dildo makes her sad. I hate her.
Next time: Cary confronts Mark about the dick sucking rumors. He looks scary mad. LeeAnne tells Brandi that Cary doesn’t want to be friends and Kameron’s quest for relevance continues with a box of batteries.
I totally believe Brandi that Cary said her doctor kills people on the operating table. Plastic surgeons are desperately competitive, and I suspect it would make things awkward for her husband socially if Cary’s comments were public, so I think she’s probably throwing rocks and hiding her hands. Brandi might exaggerate, but I don’t think she “100% made that up” for a second.
I think Brandi and Stephanie are so much more fun as friends than they were when on the outs. Pretending to be LeeAnne and D’Andra was hilarious! I feel sorry for the fun police people who find them juvenile and childish – they both have lots of responsibilities and lots of kids to raise, so who can blame them for letting loose and being silly together?
Kameron’s lucky someone didn’t slap her with the dildo, or toss her overboard. I can’t think of anything intelligent to say about her because she’s just revolting.
I definitely think Cary said it, but she’s smart enough to not repeat it on camera. Saying a doctor just killed someone on the operating table would be slander and open her husbands business up to a major law suit! I like Brandy, but she seems a little off to me. Kameron is a caricature! I love DeAndra though!
I agree about Stephanie and Brandi, I like them together. I think Brandi is a scream! When she was chasing Kaneron on the beach with the dildo, that made me laugh out loud. I’d love to have a friend like Brandi.
Right? Life’s way too short not to laugh at the giant dildo lol! It’s not like they were at the Met Ball or someplace where they needed to be on their best behavior.
This Housewives franchise is one of my favorites. I can’t exactly point out why, but it truly makes me laugh out loud. Kameron is absolutely ridiculous, but I’ve known a girl or two in my life that acts like her. This franchise along with Auckland have had a great season (so far).
I just love Stephanie. She seems really fun and I appreciate how she puts her emotions out there. I can’t always follow Brandi – her humor is a little too silly for me. Maybe desperate is the right word for her. I think you have her pegged there. But Stephanie is much more light and that is a needed element here — especially following the OC. Stephanie reminds me of the girls on Oklahoma.
Thanks Becky J. I’m serious, I was loving this season until Brandi and Stephanie reunited. I am getting ready to watch the episode now, but if those two giggle and do exactly the same things as season one, I’m going to be sad. If Kameron can”be sad” so can I !!!!! Lol
I am half watching the show now. Leanne is filming a wake up scene in the bathroom and there are an ASTONISHING number of prescription bottles lining the vanity. I get she just had surgery but there must be at least 12 prescription bottles in that bathroom if not more.
I caught that too. Surprised Brandi and Stephanie didn’t notice for future fodder for the show.
I noticed that too. I thought Damn that’s a lot of drugs.
I’m sure she’s on hormone replacement therapy and you have to get that stuff made for you by a compounding pharmacy.
Thank you Becky for a great recap.
I like this show. I think everyone is being true to who they are, as annoying as that may be, except for Carey.
She just seems to be all over the place. Blasting her closest friends on the show then snuggling with them on the boat. I believe Brandi on this one. WHY would she make that up? I imagine in the medical field that could cause Carey and her Hubby big problems for that being said on National TV. I know they didn’t give a name but I bet it wouldn’t be that hard to pry out of drunk Brandi who that is. I would think twice about that Dr. now.
I wish LeAnne would just tone it down a little. I do like her in spite of the crazy because she does put it out there. Just don’t trust Carey at all.
Amazing recap as always Becky J ??????
This is officially my favorite franchise. I apologize if this has already been discussed, I unfortunately have been away from the site for a few weeks due to an emergency. BUT, today I saw the mid season preview & it was WILD!! Umm so Cary was Mark’s Nanny?!?!?! OMG!! LeaAnn was right S1.
Oh my word. That is right. I forgot about that little sip of tea! I did not know this, if it had been discussed previously I don’t know. I honestly didn’t give last season 100% because it was kind of not that good….LOL.
So let’s hear it..
Buckle up, every episode remaining looks fantastic!!
I’m laughing at Leanne because if someone said that about my man I would just say “Luckily for him, he never has to have you find out”
I would never (if I did the picture thing) show a picture, yeah, that’s not embarrassing to Rich. Lol.
Brandi and Stephanie just act like 12 year old girls, I cannot handle their voices or their “pranks”. I really like D’andra, she cracks me up. LeeAnn needs to calm her crazy a bit, she is Kristen Dohty crazy and that is kind of fun. I think sexual chocolate was taken too far, I would have grabbed it and slapped Brandi upside the face with it, seems like she likes dildos so much she wouldn’t mind. I think Stephanie could be pretty great of it weren’t for Brandi.
Stephanie is one of the ONLY housewives ever I would be friends with.
I REALLY like Stephanie too!! She’s a pretty incredible person, but I feel as though she downplays it on the show.
Examples: 1.) she is an extremely kind & giving person. This past May she flew hours away to do a two-day bone marrow transplant for a complete stranger ❤️. 2.) she met her husband while working as a social worker. 3.) she is a talented & smart business woman. She flipped a house in Venice, CA last year making a profit of 4 million dollars. And 4.) she has raised over $700,000 for the charity she is in charge of.
I follow her on IG, brains & beauty!!
That is actually all pretty interesting about Stephanie. As much as I like her on the show, I wish we saw more of this stuff and I wonder why we don’t.
When you think about it, these women probably all have interesting stuff going on that we see so very little of – LeeAnne is apparently well-respected in the charity world despite her violence, for instance, but we only see a few seconds of her do-gooding each season. Makes you realize there’s a pretty misogynistic agenda at play with these shows, and just how pernicious the entire Housewives franchise is.
I knew none of those things about Stephanie! Whoa. Yes, why do we not see this???
Cary is very shady. She really seems like she is a social climber. The stuff about her husband seems like it could be true. She non stop talks about thier sex life. It’s so so so odd. Any married woman with a daughter, full time job and especially married to a doctor….one has that much time for sex and two would not talk it about it that much if true on the regular.
I feel like he is abusive, super controlling and abusive. The way he talks to her and she covers for him, could be she is his beard and she gets a fabulous life so long as she looks pretty in what he dresses her in and tells everyone how manly he is. It’s a sick and twisted marriage. In my opinion.
Think you’ve hit the nail on the head!
LeeAnne’s problem is she’s not very articulate when she gets heated… Cary sits there calm and collects her thoughts, whereas LeeAnne screams and goes off on multiple tangents at 100mph. What she says isn’t always incorrect – she is held to a higher standard than the others, Cary does make nasty comments and pass them off as jokes and she can be a snotty c***. Gotts work on that delivery boo ?
EVERYONE knows Mark likes gentlemen callers, who cares? I don’t think bisexuality is shameful, if they have an arrangement that works for them – congratulations! The ladies should be focusing instead on the not so subtle emotional and verbal abuse he reguarly subjects his wife to. That shit needs fixed asap!
I think Kameron is realizing her original schtick was stupid and is now trying to find another path.
Moral indignation is not the path nor is it a good look for anyone.
LeeAnne is obviously damaged and I hope she has a good off camera shrink.
She really makes me laugh.
I love Cary, Stephanie, and Brandy is a fun threesome.