Well here we are people. The infamous Yolanda episode. Yolanda, however, was NOT the source of the drama. She was an innocent bystander in the most intense weird Project Runway I have seen in a loooooong time. Someone said in the comments last week that this show would be boring without the drama. I’m assuming (cough, sure) that’s what Claire and Shawn were brought in to do….create drama. I could personally care less about drama on this show. I want to see interesting design and that’s pretty much it. That’s just my opinion. But we have seen some talented people go and here is Shawn unable to come up with ANYTHING to design as she goes “head to head” with her sister. Nothing. For the first fifteen minutes Claire is working and Shawn is bitching and crying. She declares “I don’t want to do this!!” (because she can’t) and calls in Tim. She decides she wants Claire to have it. Tim takes them out to the runway where she tells the judges “I conCEDE”. She says Claire have been covering for her. Tim is crying (hopefully because he’s happy?) This makes Les cry and I assume she has been drinking wine with a straw. She tells me Tim made her cry. That makes more sense. The judges are VERY sympathetic. Asia cries. Maybe she has been drinking wine through a straw? SHAWN JUST ADMITTED SHE WAS CHEATING. Shawn goes in to say goodbye to everyone and they give her the least sincere send off I have ever seen. No one will miss her. To quote Mugatu: I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
Margarita thinks that maybe without Shawn, Claire can have a shot at designing something great. Tim comes into the workroom with a rep from Dixie. As in Dixie cups. The designers are to create a look for the woman on the go. They will be designing for the friends and family members of the crew. They will also be designing a custom print that will be printed on a Dixie cup and there is a cash prize of $25,000. The contestants are thrilled. Everyone in this room could use that money. They have some extra money to spend at Mood.
Amy’s model wants something spunky to match her personality. Michael’s model is part Native american and would like a print that reflects her heritage. Claire’s model hates prints. Claire is worried as this is a print challenge. Brandon’s model is cute and up for anything. Ayana is just happy her model wants long sleeves. Kenya’s model (a new Grandma) is doing what a LOT of us do…she’s almost apologizing for her “boxy hips and long waist…” and Kenya forever endears herself to us again by telling her model she has great curves and she’s going to make her look and feel hot. Margarita loves floral patterns and her model does not. She likes black and geometrics. Margarita is a little flustered. Kentaro’s model is going to an Indian wedding and he’s going to step outside his comfort zone and do strong colors. Batani’s client loves purple but declares she wouldn’t or couldn’t ever wear it and Batani tells her she needs vibrant colors to match her personality. Claire is still struggling without Shawn, and her client tells her to get it together.
Les points out that with Shawn gone, Claire becomes twice as annoying. In the workroom she is going on and on about how she is struggling, and no one is responding. She can’t figure out what to do with her top so she rips off Margarita’s shape from last week. This freaks Margarita out and she points it out to anyone who will listen. Amy feels bad for Margarita but says it’s “subjective”. Ayana is not so sure. She says that they are all inspired by each other and have all done side-ruching at some point. If it were almost anyone else I would agree, but in seeing both tops I’m wondering if a line has been crossed. Margarita is very upset. She hates her print and can’t get over what is going on. She decides to dye her hot pink and white graphic print and it comes out purple and blue. She considers it an improvement. We think she is lucky she has immunity. Kenya is in the break room eating popcorn and hot sauce with a spoon. Kenya, if you come hang out with us I make my hot sauce from scratch and Les will pop you all the popcorn you want. Her model is so happy with her look she cries. It is a sweet moment.
Kentaro explains how he wanted to make something flowy and colorful to Tim. Tim says she would never know it was his design and it is too simple. His model agrees. Kentaro looks like a deer in headlights. Tim loves Michael’s print and his model is loving his jumpsuit idea. He tells him to carry on. Brandon has done a Brandon top with a pencil skirt (much to Kenya’s confusion) and Tim says the skirt is too basic. Amy’s model is loving her look, especially the shirt, and Tim is happy. Ayana wanted to put pants under her cute dress but Tim asks her why she would ever cover up her model’s wonderful legs? Ayana wants to make her client happy, so she scraps the pants. Her print is Dixie spelled in Arabic and very pretty. Tim loves Margarita’s dyed fabric and is happy with jacket over dress. Batani’s tie-dye inspired print didn’t turn out the way she had expected and the repeats were too far apart. She has designed a gray “shroud” according to Tim and he’s very concerned about the lack of color. She whips out purple fabric she bought at Mood and Tim and this client want to know where she was hiding it. Tim feels as though he is interrupting a lovefest between Kenya and her client. He’s worried the peplum she is doing feels like an add-on. Claire has done an eighties print and is going to do one printed leg and one black leg on a pair of pants. Tim tells her it’s gimmicky. (you know what’s gimmicky? STUNT CASTING). As Margarita seethes behind them, Tim tells Claire he has seen this top before. Just as Margarita is about to feel validated Tim says “From you.” huh? Margarita is now full blown upset and in hyper-flustered mode.
Brandon helps his brother Kentaro edit his look. Claire keeps asking Margarita to look up from her work and give Claire her opinion. Margarita ignores her. Claire is confused. Why is everyone so cold?? Margarita and Michael start speaking in Spanish. She tells him that Claire had a measuring tape in the bathroom. Wait, she had a measuring tape in her room? Her hotel bathroom? I’m confused but I know that is a big ole no no if it’s true. I’m not sure, but I think this is what Margarita is saying. Claire has recut her top and Margarita is now so upset she has ruined the gray fabric she was going to use by cutting it incorrectly she has to use a different fabric. The day of the runway she says she is upset and embarrassed of her outfit. Claire, on the other hand, is feeling great! Michael thinks Brandon is overconfident. We don’t really get that vibe from Brandon. He’s not exactly the cocky type. I mean, he wears Birkenstocks with socks. Kentaro’s model is now very happy and he certainly has made something new while staying true to himself. Michael’s model is also very happy. Claire is happy Kenya’s model is happy but hates her look and proclaims it will be in the bottom. Margarita is now crying and apologizing to her model who couldn’t be nicer. Margarita feels terrible. Ayana has done a cute sexy dress and Kenya is like…who IS this? Michael is now saying that Claire’s pants are a copy of what she has in her room (WHAT ROOM??), and she used measuring tape to copy them?? Buckle your seatbelts people, it’s going to be a bumpy runway.
Heidi is wearing a dress a la Stevie Nicks circa 1979. Are those Swiss dots? She asks how the contestants are feeling and Margarita shakes her head. Heidi literally GASPS and asks Margarita what is wrong. She says she feels defeated. This isn’t a very auspicious start. Yolanda Hadid and Sophia Stallone are the judges. Let’s just move on and get to the good stuff.
Les and I are confused by Amy’s look. I hate the print. Leslie doesn’t like Brandon’s look, I believe the word was “yuck”. I think the top could have benefitted from a simple skirt. We are both confused by Batani’s look. I know she had issues with her print, but she is the print master. This looks like a nightgown. We are happy Margarita has immunity. Claire’s look is basic. Les writes that Claire sucks. I don’t think she’s talking about the outfit. At this point I lose Leslie to kiddos. Darn kiddos, DON’T THEY KNOW WHAT EPISODE THIS IS???? Ayana’s look is basic but cute. There is a LOT of fabric in Michael’s pants. Kenya’s model is glowing she is so happy. She looks like a forties pinup. Kentaro. Ethereal. Fabulous. This for the win. Not picking anything to go home because I am waiting to see what blows up.
Zac tells Batani she is the queen of prints and he doesn’t understand what went wrong. Her model says she loves the look and she is very happy. Zac thinks there was a big missed opportunity. Heidi is confused because from the neck up it looks elegant and from the neck down it looks like Coachella (I guess she goes to Coachella AND Burning Man). The model insists this is what she wanted. They then basically tell her what she wanted sucked and Batani should have put more of her own design into it. Sophia hates the asymmetrical hem.
Zac is ALSO disappointed in Michael, Nina tells him he has too much going on and he didn’t take her proportions into consideration. The pants needed to be on a taller person. They do realize this woman, who was very happy five minutes ago is RIGHT THERE. Yolanda says she didn’t like the opening on the sleeves and Heidi says it was just too much.
Nina loves Kenya’s top and tells her she is brilliant at doing them. Yolanda doesn’t love prints (who better to judge a print episode) but she likes this small one. Zac thinks the detailing throughout is exceptional, but Heidi isn’t sure about the peplum right under her breasts and she also thinks the skirt is too tight. That coming out of Heidi Klum’s mouth is too easy to make fun of, so I’m just going to let it go.
Zac thinks Kentaro’s is sublime. He thinks the colors sing, loves the pleating in the back (he sewed Dixie in as a label!) and was completely blown away. Heidi thinks she is drowning in fabric. Nina disagrees and tells him it is 360 degree elegance and he knocked her off her feet. He tells them this is his first design EVER in color and Nina tells him she loves watching people grow as designers on this show and he has certainly grown.
Heidi asks Claire how it was without Shawn and she shares what a tough little soldier she is. Heidi then says her look is perfect from head to toe. The designers all shift uncomfortably. Zac thinks it’s the most effective print and Nina says she would want to carry this Dixie cup. The designers shift uncomfortably. Nina is not blown away by the outfit.
Nina is confused by Margarita’s look and points out it is two different looks. Zac likes the print but says that was it. Heidi asks her just WHAT was so distracting that caused he to go off the rails and she says she wasn’t raised to throw people under the bus. Now I like Margarita, but she did just that to her model a few episodes ago. Heidi presses her, but she still won’t spill. The designers head back to the waiting room and when Claire tells everyone she is in the top I can feel the waves of hatred coming out of my television set. Michael basically tells her her outfit is basic and mentions J Crew.
Claire wins? I pause my TV and put my head between my legs. After some deep breathing I unpause and make sure I heard it correctly. Kentaro can sound like Claire…RIght? Right? Nope. Michael does his walk off. The judges feign confusion. A producer asks him what’s up and he responds, “I came to play fair and there’s no fairness in this game.” He tells Tim there is no fairness in the winning look. Tim wants to get to the bottom of this. The other designers are still on the stage until Margarita walks off to find Michael. AND THAT’S IT. We have to wait till next week.
Ok there are a few things that bother me. First of all Claire over Kentaro? Seriously? Also, if you have immunity and your outfit sucks, the judges tell you you are lucky you have immunity and send you off the stage to deal with the three poor suckers who are taking your place in the bottom. So why was Margarita standing up there? Why did Heidi ask her pointed questions in the beginning? Why was Shawn even there if she couldn’t sew at all? I know if I want true reality I should rewatch The Fashion Fund (God I miss that show), but I hope that any show with Tim Gunn as an executive producer would have 75% integrity. I don’t know. I’m feeling a bit yucky. What do you guys think?