By CJ Bomb
Hey everyone. You have me solo this week as the lovely Leslie is headed out west to catch U2. Am I jealous? Maybe. A bit. Ok, yes I am, but I will fill the void by watching my favorite design show and imagine I am taking selfies with Tim Gunn. I have one with Christian Siriano and one with Michael Kors….it WILL happen at some point. Heidi, who’s boobs are strapped in within an inch of their lives in that dress, gets handed her phone by a production guy who tells her Tim is “blowing it up.” Heidi should never act. Just saying. She proclaims that Tim is sending her selfies! She is going to send selfies back and the contestants look tired and confused. She tells them Tim is waiting with their new clients. Shawn hopes it’s not their moms as her mother isn’t all that fashionable.
It’s the MODELS! Margarita is psyched to see their individual styles. Models are the coolest dressers and sometimes what they are wearing is more interesting than the clothing they wear in the shows. Tim points out the power a model has with their social media account to promote a designer. Each model will choose a designer to design a street look for her. The theme is #modelsoffduty. A street shot will be taken of the look in addition to the runway walk for the judges to consider. I have to say, whoever is coming up with the challenges this year is doing a much better job. They have one day and $200 to spend at Mood. The models pick their designers and Shawn, Claire and Ayana are last. I’m assuming this is because the models don’t want to work with a modest designer or spazzy idiots.
Samantha’s model wants something sweet and edgy. She is going with a tight bodice and full skirt. Shawn is basically doing a copy of what she and her model is wearing. Amy mentions rompers and jumpsuits to her model and she responds that she is worried about the bathroom issue. I own several jumpsuits. This is a real issue. Brandon’s model wants something with a seventies vibe. Kenya is inspired by menswear, pants and feathers. Her model isn’t sure about all of that, but trusts Kenya. She should do pants, her model is eight feet tall. Michael’s model says that the world is her runway and wants to channel Beyonce on the street. Ayana’s model is looking for something cute and sexy. Batani is going with an African vibe and Claire’s girl is all about comfort and neutral colors. Sweet Kentaro tells his model he’s going to make her “look dirty” and while I’m contemplating Kentaro talking sexy he uses the word “homeless” which actually makes more sense. His model looks alarmed, but he assures her it will be dirty but clean. Margarita and her model are planning a sporty look with a print. They are thrilled to be working together. They sketch with their clients and then head off to Mood. Kenya picks out emerald green and a dalmatian print? Huh? Shawn picks out the exact same fabric of her and her models current clothing. Sam says she is determined to fulfill her model’s vision while staying true to her own.
The twits are back working next to each other and I’m finally now seeing more of the dynamic. Claire does most everything for Shawn. Claire is also now commenting on how exhausting it is. Everyone is throwing them looks, but Batani definitely has the best side-eye. Brandon is tie-dying which I think might be too literal an idea for the seventies vibe. Kentaro is doing some interesting legging things. Margarita is doing pants, a top AND a jacket. She worries it’s a lot, but is VERY excited about this look.
Kentaro explains his Hakama shorts, crop top and skinny legging/jeans to Tim and Tim thinks it’s a great combo of him and his model’s aesthetic. He’s happy. Shawn is REALLY knocking off what the model is already wearing (thank you for pointing this out Margarita, nice to have you back) and Tim doesn’t think the top goes with the pant.The model explains very clearly that she wants to mix something lux with something casual while Shawn just bobs her head up and down adding nothing. Tim is ok with this coherent explanation and Shawn blurts out INDEED, because…Shawn.
Ayana is doing a halter dress with star appliques because her model likes stars. Tim is worried they look like stickers. Tim is completely on board with Amy’s urban tuxedo idea. Brandon’s model tells Tim she likes very simple things and Tim tells her it’s good to try a new look. So I guess he’s happy with Brandon’s ideas? Sam says that his model looks like Rey from Star Wars and he’s going to wind up with an entire new client base. I actually love what she wore in that movie, so I am cool with it. Claire is doing a Benetton outfit I wore in 1985. She wants to put wording on her oversized sweatshirt but the letters idea concerns Tim.
Tim loves Batani’s African prints. Kentaro is talking about it and asks if he can say “African” and not sound racist. The producer says he’s fine and that was actually pretty funny. Saint Tim is helping direct Michael with his body-con cutout dress. Sam’s model tells Tim she wants to be a “hipster bartender” and Tim is excited to see the collaboration between the two of them. Her model just doesn’t want it to be “too grunge” and I feel a cold whisper of foreshadowing across my shoulders.
Tim is worried Kenya’s model is going to look like a green bean. It’s a LOT of green. He asks her: Is it fashion, or is it just making clothes? For everyone who bitches about there not being enough pretty dresses on this show, please MEMORIZE this statement. Kenya is worried about time and mentions that not everyone has a sister on the show to help them. Truer words, Kenya. I wish you had SAID it to Tim. Margarita asks Tim if she needs to reel it in and he tells her that she needs to go for it. She and her model are both very happy. I keep noting this for you guys to make a point later.
Ok Shawn: FUCK YOU. Your sister is basically constructing a design you COPIED and you tell us you wouldn’t wear a SINGLE item Samantha has made on the show except from the trash episode “and that one was MADE of trash”? Seriously? This is not a bad edit. You are awful. Kenya actually points out that Claire could have a shot at making beautiful clothes, but she’s stuck helping Shawn. This is blatant cheating.
Brandon calls his girlfriend. He says she’s a bit older and helping him grow and mature as a person. Brandon, just so you know, Les and I are MUCH older and VERY mature. Just throwing that out there…. Ayana is showing a lot of skin on her model so she it making a coat to throw in her aesthetic. Shawn thinks it looks like a robe. I actually took a picture of her bitch face on my TV and sent it to TT. They are working super late and everyone is getting slap happy and second guessing themselves. Margarita does a spot on Zac Posen impression. Michael is worried his outfit sucks. Amy steps in to help Kenya, and she’s happy to do it, but worried for her.
On the day of the runway, Michael is ok with his dress, but he and his model are still trying to find a balance of ideas between them. Claire actually says this as she comes into the workroom: First thing we need to get done is Shawn’s pants. HOW IS THIS NOT CALLED OUT AS CHEATING NOW???? Samantha’s model looks exactly like Samantha. Amy notes that Margarita’s look (which she and her model are VERY happy with, please take note) looks like 90’s hip-hop. Bitchface Shawn just says it’s TACKY. Have a seat baldy. You can add to the conversation when you actually design something.
Heidi’s boobs are contained in a beautiful red dress. I’m ok with boobage, but at some point in life you have to accept that gravity and childbearing are going to take a toll. Even if you are Heidi Klum. Georgina Chapman is here! Yay! An actual fashion person! Kelsea Ballerini is here! Who the hell is this? I have to look her up. She is a country musician?
I especially miss Leslie during the runway. Kentaro’s look ROCKED. She looks like an urban samurai and if I were younger and thinner I would sooooo wear this. It’s just cool. Claire has done a sweatshirt and booty shorts. Her tall thin model looks like a walking blob on stick legs. Ayana has done a star dress from the JR section at JCPenney with a pink bathrobe. Michael’s dress looks like a lesser Herve Leger. I love Brandon’s pants, but the top needed editing. Shawn’s (Claire’s) pants are nice, but I still can’t get past the cheating. Margarita’s model does look like 90’s hip hop. Pants are ok. I find it hard to believe that Batani’s model would be rocking this on the NYC streets. Amy’s look is cool and effortless. For the love of GOD please pick Amy this week! Sam’s outfit is too junior for me. If Kenya’s look wasn’t THAT color with THAT print I would love it, but I’m having a hard time with the two together. They are going to love it or hate it. My top are Amy and Kentaro with Kentaro to win. My bottom are Claire, Ayana and Batani with Ayana to go.
Nina thinks that Claire’s look is a blob of black and needed a pop of color to stand out in the photo. Zac says it didn’t make a fashion statement and Heidi thinks it didn’t do anything for her body. She also doesn’t want to see the model’s butt cheeks hanging out. Georgina notes that if you are going to do black, you need a strong silhouette and no woman wants to look pregnant when she’s not. Kelsea said something.
Zac thinks Shawn’s (Claire’s) pants look slick and easy and this is a great day to night look. Heidi thinks it is fantastic and looks chic. Nina notes that feminine and pretty always sells and Georgina says it feels elevated but there is an ease to it. Kelsea said something. Shawn beams and tells them she feels she is on an upward trajectory. She either has no shame or no clue.
I hold my breath as Zac says Kenya’s is Debbie Harry meets Peter Pan meets 101 Dalmations………and he likes it! I exhale. Georgina loves the personality and strength. Heidi loves the color and the petals but hates the print. Nina says the model has a “Chic Je ne sais quois.” And she wants to know more. Kelsea says something.
Heidi asks Kentaro if he thinks he’s on the top or bottom. When he says he doesn’t know she insists he answer. Top? He says. YES! Heidi says his model was the coolest by FAR on the runway. Georgina thinks it has a dangerous masculine edge, but it’s feminine at the same time. She thinks it’s wonderful. Nina says it looks haphazard, but it’s not. Zac says it’s crisp, easy and great. Kelsea says something.
Georgina thinks Samantha’s dress is verging on costume and it doesn’t do it for her. Zac has seen this before and he’s not interested. Nina mentions that she AGAIN is more interested in what Sam is wearing versus her model. They all like it better without the vest. Kelsea says something.
Ok, remember the lovefest that was going on with Margarita and her model? Apparently that was all just for show as Margarita was truly SUFFERING designing a look that she really didn’t believe in for her demanding client. Huh? Zac says he understands (huh?) but he has major issue with the fit of the pant. Heidi thinks she looks cheesy and even though Nina likes the jacket she’s getting a Miami vibe and not in a good way. Georgina tells her that there is nothing here that tells her who Margarita is as a designer and Margarita AGAIN throws her model under the bus basically saying she did exactly what she wanted and none of it was her true aesthetic and paints her model as uncooperative. The model looks stunned. Damn.
Off the runway Tim FINALLY points out that Claire did Shawn’s work and while the contestants are allowed to help each other Zac smells a bald rat. In the models room they ALL point out that Margarita totally changed the narrative on her outfit. Her model is very upset and hurt and proclaims that she is the furthest thing from a diva. If Margarita isn’t kicked off it’s definitely going to be awkward in the workroom next week.
Kentaro WINS! Samantha is out instead of Claire??? Argh. And we have to suffer more of these twits as it’s NOT the Yolanda episode next week? Argh. Do you agree with the judges this week? Les will be back and we will see u then! xoxo