While doing setups for this recap, I realized that Andy Cohen either wore lifts or stood on a box for the above photo. This amuses me. More on this at the end, I tweeted Captain Lee and am hoping he is around but I expect he will not answer my question. LOL. In other Below Deck news my recap was more well received than usual last night. Perhaps because I was celebrating some good news that was of course overturned today. Life sucks.
Holy shit! Andy’s tie is as close to straight as it has ever been. Perhaps that is just because I have to wait until happy hour to recap these shows. Cheers, I’m drinking Black Box Pinot Grigio again tonight because it worked out so well when I did it last night. #DontAsk
WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS CAPTAIN LEE IN THE SECOND FUCKING CHAIR? If I was just a viewer, I’d turn this shit off right now. THIS IS A MOTHER FUCKING TRAVESTY. Maybe the Captain will answer me after all. This is a national disgrace.
Then, dumbass Andy starts with questions about the hurricanes to Captain Lee. He doesn’t seem to even know that Captain Lee hunkered down in Fort Lauderdale and was himself a victim. Captain Lee says that the Caribbean is essentially wiped out. That’s sad. That was the only reason I was trying to motivate to apply for my passport. It’s just not that safe to travel anywhere anymore. I suppose I’ll discover middle America the next time I take a trip. Andy did not even bother to ask Captain Lee about the damage to his house. I believe he came out fairly unscathed but you can check out is IG for footage of FLL.
Next up is the Bruno sushi scene. The polls were not fans of the human sushi platter (which was a direct quote from this ratchet site I might add) or Hot Jesus where 80% deemed him unfuckable. Captain Lee said he didn’t know about him. Mmmm Hmmm. Kate and Captain Lee both know everything that happens on and off that boat.
So far this whole show is montages of Below Deck and Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky.
Rapid fire questions for Jax. He is friends or at least friendly with James on the upcoming season. He says he is the number one guy on the show. He likes Scheana’s new beau Rob. He has not talked to Mike Shay but the other guys have. Lala is back in the friend group. He doesn’t get plastic surgery this weekend,
Captain Lee says he would have fired Adam on the spot for the manufactured onions storyline. With other questions he is supportive of Captain Sandy. He would not have allowed deckhands to practice docking the yacht. When asked about Captain Sandy’s “micromanaging” he says he is not a babysitter. I see Captain Lee, as a man’s man who is not ever going to be a fan of female captains but he is not going to disparage them either.
Andy makes it clear that he has never watched an episode of Jax’s spinoff when he doesn’t even know how to pronounce Mamaw. I’m not a gay man in Ptown for the orgies, but I can pronounce fucking yankee circuit raisin. I’m just saying.
A caller tries to get Captain Lee to condemn Kate for Hot Jesus, as if that would happen. He says that everyone needs a little religious experience now and then but she took it to a level that he would not necessarily condone. Speaking of Kate, she tweeted the question “Would he give Jax a try as a deckhand?” Jax really seems to like this question and before Captain Lee can answer he tell him he thinks he would surprise him. Andy who loves to point out he goes on charters all the time that he doesn’t think Jax has it in him. Andy never let’s Captain Lee answer because he is so busy telling Jax that the help never has time to fuck him because the work from six am until whenever the guests go to bed. This is false for deckhands, but it is Andy’s ratchet show so Captain Lee just let’s Andy say whatever stupid thing flies into his head.
Time for a stupid game. I just can’t. Captain Lee just waits for it to be over. Another game fail.
When we come back from break, it seems as though Captain Lee is trying to encourage Andy to contribute to charity. Captain Lee is a constant contributor to charities. I am always happy to support them.
Jax is offended that people keep asking if he is going to marry Brittany. He say if he gets married it will be to her but he finds it offensive that random people keep asking about it.
Captain Lee explains that he eats his meals in his quarters. He does not eat with the crew because the crew needs to be able to eat without someone there making them feel uncomfortable.
Jax says he regrets saying that Brittany is unappreciative. He tries to blame editing. And to be fair, that probably was a fake storyline.
Captain Lee says his wife will never let him hear the end of the “Stud of the Sea” comment. I love Captain Lee’s wife. She is beautiful and has the BEST. SMILE. EVER. I’m incredibly envious of their marriage.
OMG Best Mazel ever. Nicole Kidman trying to snatch the Big Little Lies award from Reese Witherspoon.
Tried briefly to find video. Sorry late to Big Brother. The ever so respectable Captain Lee did not respond to me on Twitter regarding the height question. I’ll update when I know more.