I don’t usually recap Dance Moms at this time of night. This is when I usually just veg and watch whatever the heck I want to. But My DVR sent me over to this episode and I am intrigued, so I am going to recap it whilst drunk and sleepy. (Edit: I ended up waiting to post this to get some photos). The next episode will come soon, perhaps later tonight. )
Last week, we saw more astounding losses for the ALDC. Also, Yolanda tried to choke out Stacey. Frankly, that has been a long time coming. This week, there is concern about nationals. Holly, who lost her mind about two seasons ago, says,”I would rather lose with something that is strong, than win with something that is bad.” WTF does that even mean? Basically she says she’d rather lose with the chick temporarily replacing Abby, than win with Abby. Whatever Holly, you are SOFA KING irrelevant without Abby. Ashlee points out that Abby knows how to win competitions and LaurieAnn does not.
LaurieAnn is a bitch at pyramid and blames all the girls for the loss. They all had character issues and they lacked, stamina, stamina, stamina. Oh okay but they won for Abby Lee Miller! So fuck you, LaurieAnn. Kira can’t even pronounce stamina. It’s hilarious. Ashlee pisses off LaurieAnn by asking what she is going to change. She puts the two minis on the bottom. Yolanda has a lot to say but LaurieAnn basically tells her to shut her damn mouth. Brynn is the A lister. She really likes Camryn as well she had harsh words for the rest of them including Nia and Kalani.
This week they are in Las Vegas. Nia and Kalani are doing an open duet and the title is I Got No Fear. LaurieAnn seems to be losing her mind. Kendall and Brynn also have a duet. Duets are for losers who can’t win solos. The minis are not in the group number.
I like that LaurieAnn says she doesn’t want Nia to feel heavy, she wants her to feel strong. This is what someone has needed to tell Nia for years. She does look heavy when she could look strong. LaurieAnn pulls Nia out of her duet and replaces her with Camryn.
This may not be the same episode I just saw. I may have to recap two episodes, because crazy Abby was back on my episode. LaurieAnn is being a total taskmaster on this episode and I want to see Abby come back and crush this bitch.
Brynn and Kendall’s duet has crunches and other exercise video stuff. It’s bad. What LaurieAnn doesn’t get is that crunches are not a competition skill that the judges rate dancers on. LaurieAnn is batshit crazy and talking about Michael Jackson. Crap. I am totally going to have to make this a double recap. I am living for Abby Lee coming back eating Long John Silvers.
LaurieAnn is losing her mind because Camryn’s mom forgot her costume. She is way worse than Abby and I am loving the moms realizing that. But now I need to rush through to Abby’s return!
Kendall and Brynn’s dance was stupid. Kalani and Camryn did a great duet but there were issues and it didn’t have the complexity that Abby Lee’s dance routines have. LaurieAnn was dissatisfied. She railed on everyone. LaurieAnn even turns on Camryn. LaurieAnn suddenly gets Abby Lee.
I thought the group dance was the most amazing dance I’ve ever seen on Dance Moms. It should be first. HOWEVER. The technical difficulty may be an issue. But for me, it was spectacular,
The weird Jane Fonda work out video gets second place. Camryn and Kalani get first. The group dance got third place. And LaurieAnn ran after one of the judges to complain. The LaurieAnn tells the moms they are their kids roadblocks to success. And now for the show I really wanted to recap…
Well crap It really doesn’t come on until 1 am. Dance Moms does a weird first repeat where they cut out things. I’ll get on it ASAP. Don’t spoil me bro!!!!! PLEASE don’t spoil me. I really like this show. Edit: I have the full episode now and am excited to watch ASAP.