It is the season finale and the reunion of Bachelor In Paradise. I usually pause the two hour show to recap Real Housewives of Orange County in real time. Tonight I’m going to stay with BIP until the bitter end. Mostly because my power situation is iffy and I am way more likely to be spoiled on BIP than by whatever happens on RHOC tonight. I think it is a night of Shannon crying about being fat.
The show opens with Chris Harrison telling the couples to either get on the bus and go home, or go to a fantasy suite with their mate. Jack Stone wants to take the option to leave as a couple and pursue his relationship with Kristen the Virgin outside the house. A fantasy suite is no place to lose your virginity. Kristen tells Jack Stone that they can’t leave as a couple, because they are merely acquaintances. Ouch. But she is right, they have only known each other a couple of days and much of that time Kristen was on other dates. Basically, Jack Stone got dumped. By now he has found out she said he was a bad kisser.
Jasmine and Jonathan agreed they’ve reached the end of their contractual obligation. Raven is concerned that Adam may leave her like Nick did. Adam seems really into her. Dean dumps D-lo because he says he still has feelings for Christina. D-lo is heartbroken and Dean is a douche.
Diggy dumps Dominque because he wants to leave paradise with Jaime who he went on one date with. Jaime dumps Diggy. That was some quick karma.
Robby starts professing his undying love to Amanda and she starts crying, but not in a good way. Amanda gives him the whole speech about how she got engaged last season and she doesn’t want to go through all of that again. She’s sorry. Robby doesn’t really understand. Perhaps it is that annoying curl on top of his head. Amanda feels really guilty for breaking his heart. Robby leaves alone, but I think that these two try dating, and it doesn’t work out.
So we are down to Raven and Adam (I don’t really see Adam for her, but okay), Taylor and Derek (good luck with that Derek) and Lacey and Daniel (I can’t believe how in love she seems to be with Daniel. He should count his lucky Canookian charms, he’s such a douchebag). Each couple has a date tonight that includes a bang card for a fantasy suite. Everyone uses the bang card. Well, they make it seem like Raven may say no to the fantasy suite, but I’m sure they used it.
Instead, the go straight to the reunion. It’s been two months since they left Mexico. When they introduce the cast Dean is prepared for the boos. He doesn’t get that many. But the person everyone cheers for is Christina. I think she needs to be the next bachelorette. I love her.
Shockingly, we start with Corrine (and then Demario I presume). To me this means there is an engagement. I suspect it is Taylor and Derek. Otherwise, I feel like the Corrine and Demario going face to face thing would have been last.
Corrine says she feels a lot better now that time has passed. Chris asks if it is okay if he brings out DeMario and she says she would love to see him. They hug and DeMario gets a big round of applause. There were lots of pleasantries. DeMario says he is seeing a therapist. Corrine says the same. That was it. It was awkward in its brevity. Both Corrine and DeMario hug a bunch of the cast on their way out. I’d forgotten they hadn’t seen them either. That seemed a lot more genuine. They sat with the cast for the rest of the reunion. Wells is in the audience like a commoner. Why?
Apparently Jasmine has been being a bitch to Kristen on social media. I think Jasmine and the other girls that constantly mocked Kristen by calling her scallop fingers behind her back looked horrible on the show. Then when all the guys wanted to date Kristen it made them look even worse. Kristen says that Jasmine has been on social media for the week leading up to filming fanning the flames.
Chris checks in with Christina and D-Lo and they have a bit of back and forth. Dean looks like he would rather be anywhere else than where he is. He interrupts the ladies to say that the should not be arguing with each other because the blame lies solely with him. Everyone applauds.
After a break, Dean is in the hot seat. Dean says that there was no malice on his part, he had no ill intentions. He realizes he hurt them both. He feels horrible. He still has very strong emotions for Dean, he opts not to use the word love. Christina says she will always have love for Dean and she hopes whoever comes next in his life he will not hurt her that way. She will always have a special place in his heart.
D-Lo interrupts. She wants to ask Dean why if he was in love with Christina the whole time he called her within an hour of leaving the show. He starts to
explain lie. But she continues on to say that he came over and they had a relationship that continued after Paradise. Christina tells Dean to be careful what he says because she thought they were trying to talk again. She asks him if he is still “flipping-flopping” them. Dean is being nailed to the wall by his balls in order to get at the truth.
Dean said, “Yes, my indecisiveness carried on after the season.”
Chris Harrison asks them if he would like to say some last words to Christina and D-Lo. He thinks for a minute and then starts with “I’d like to say to both of you…” I want to throw my shoe at the TV, but my TV hasn’t done anything wrong. He basically apologizes to both of them with the same few sentences and tells them they are both great women. The audience groans. That was just ridiculous.
Amanda and Robby are up next. Despite breaking up in Paradise, they dated for a bit after Paradise. She says that after she gave him another chance and agreed to be his girlfriend, he really wasn’t that interested in her and didn’t spend much time with her at all. When Robby comes out he seems to be hinting that Amanda was not meeting his sexual needs. The twins accused him of cheating with some girl while he was on a business trip in Colorado. She sent Amanda photos that appeared to show them kissing Robby denies kissing or hooking up with her. They agree that they were not looking for the same things.
Next we see the morning after the fantasy suite with Daniel and Lacey. During the montage, Lacey says that everything is so wonderful and she know Daniel would ever, ever lie to her. In a small box under the montage we see Lacey rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Then we see a closed door and hear the audio of what Daniel was telling production. Basically, he said is not into her and doesn’t want a relationship with her at all. I called this one. Apparently, Daniel came to NYC where Lacey lives for six days and spent one hour with her and the rest of the week with Vinnie. Then he wanted her to come to Vancouver and she declined. Lacey says they are never, ever, ever getting back together. I hope she means that. He’s horrible and needs to pull the stick out of his ass.
Raven and Adam come out to talk about how things are going with them. You can tell by how they sit on the couch they are still together. The fantasy suite obviously went very well. I’m happy for Raven. She seems happy. These two have been traveling together for that last two months. They are in love. She is meeting his family this weekend. He will meet her family soon. In fact, they are there! We are leaving this couple for now, but it would not shock me if we came back to them for a proposal.
Derek and Taylor join Chris Harrison next. Taylor and Derek look great together as a couple. Corrine seems to be seething over Taylor’s happiness. This pleases me. Derek went home to Seattle with Taylor and stayed there for three weeks. Derek proposes. It was sweet. She said yes. Even Corrine was happy for them. She cried her eyes out, and so did, um… some other people. It was really beautiful.
And now summer has officially ended.