Views are way down on this site since Harvey and Irma showed up. I really hope that all of you are back home safe and sound very soon. Irma is coming to the ghetto tomorrow and will be causing a commotion Monday night and into the wee hours of Tuesday. Schools are closed for Monday and Tuesday and everyone is acting like the world is ending. I may lose power tomorrow so the site could be down for a while but it looks like Irma may head toward Birmingham instead. No one seem to know what Irma’s plans are to be honest.
But for now, I have no good excuse not to recap Shahs of Sunset. Let’s see what drama theses fools get up to tonight. We begin with Shervin and Mike, who I honestly believe have the same father since they look so much alike, at a cigar bar. Shervin wants Mike to know that Tara, the married chick that Sherv has been banging is “5150.” For my foreign readers who may not know, the California 5150 law is a used by law enforcement to detain people who they think have mental health problems that could make them a danger to themselves or those around them. Every man who is lying about cheating just loves to say the person they are sleeping with is crazy. It’s the go to response from men who are being accused of wrongdoing. Then he moves on to the “she’s not my type” response.
GG was cast in an off broadway play to take over Sonja Morgan’s role in Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man. So she goes to meet with an acting coach for some tips. They run some lines and it seems as though GG has special hidden acting talent. Rehearsing her lines makes her vagina tickle. Of course she shares this fun fact with her coach.
This is the season of people oversharing about their personal journeys to have children. Everyone is mad at Asa for having the basic decorum to keep some things in life private. This is not a luxury the rest of these fucknuts are going to afford us and now we have to visualize Reza and Adam jacking off into plastic cups so we can all find out with them if there are any swimmers in contention for medaling at the baby making swim meet. The doctor, who looks familiar as if we have been to him before on other reality show sperm shows, gleefully tells Reza his sperm are great. Adam’s on the other hand are weirdly shaped. They can still swim, but they may produce ugly babies. Adam says he walked two miles in the heat in jeans before he had this done. He’s literally making excuses for weird sperm. Is this scripted? Because it seems more ridiculous than usual.
When the doctor starts talking about shopping for egg donors, Reza makes it clear he is not ready for all of that.
On to forty five year old MJ who thinks she is going to get pregnant the good old fashioned way. She and Tommy go to a duck pond to trash talk Asa. At least the scenery was nice.
Asa is busy editing a video of her meeting with all the religious leaders in Israel. She is trying to plan some sort of garden party about peaceful coexistence. Sounds like a great place for these jackholes to fight.
Mike doesn’t have anyone to have baby fever with so he makes his fake shoe line a fake baby shoe line this season. Le sigh. He does a photo shoot will a ton of babies. His mother shows up to see how Mike is wasting her money this time.
GG goes to an audiologist because she has a lot of hearing problems. She fails the hearing test. She needs hearing aids.
I think I may be killing banjo I gave him more of a banana than I usually do and it had a bad spot and now he is demanding to go outside every five minutes. I am so behind on this recap.
Asa has chosen a beautiful outdoor garden at the Intercontinental hotel for her peaceful coexistence film debut. Her soon to be cousin if she opts to marry Jermaine, Paris Jackson arrives with her boyfriend. MJ is late as usual. Tommy has her duck taping her boobs into her dress because she cannot go anywhere without her tits hanging out. Those tits are 45 years old, sugar britches. Keep them covered up. MJ’s apartment doesn’t even have a bathroom sink. I thought this shithole was bad. I have a bathroom sink. I do not have a vanity though.
Sherv arrives at Asa’s event somewhat reluctantly since everyone thinks he is a liar. Sherv claims that GG is taking what he said to her and twisting it into more than it is. It is GG so that is possible, but I still don’t believe Sherv.
Reza is a MJ’s apartment with Tommy. They are late but they are sitting around talking about how babies are made through science. They also both think Asa is lying about getting pregnant naturally. My other was Asa’s age when she got pregnant with me. It happens. Reza lets it slip that Asa had her egg retrieval done at the same time MJ did. She just chose to keep things private. Who cares? Why is this an issue? What does MJ have to know everything that goes on with Asa’s eggs?
Eventually, these three arrive at the party. Reza has let MJ know that she was getting the same egg retrieval procedure she got at the very same time she was doing it. The will be no peace in the valley tonight. Reza thinks that Asa focusing on the positive all the time is deceptive. Really? I’m pretty sure that is a major life goal that I fail at on an hourly basis. Focusing on the positive and not complaining is pretty much the life goal of most humans trying to achieve some level of peace. When a few people give Asa baby gifts, MJ is visibly pissed. MJ makes fun of Asa’s short documentary.
Asa tells MJ that the reason she didn’t share her experience with her is because she doesn’t trust her. It’s just that simple. They don’t have that kind of friendship. This is ridiculous.
Next week: Reza sides with MJ and the rest of the gang to make Asa out to be some horrible deceptive creature rather than the the very pregnant and emotional woman she currently is. I hate this season.