Hey everyone. Going to start off by saying I hope you and your loved ones are safe. If they have been or are going to be in the path of these storms we are sending our prayers. My parents headed up from Florida and are exhausted but safe. Which in the end is all that matters. I will try to remind myself of that as I scream at the TV tonight. So week four, here we go…..
Heidi and Tim enter carrying backpacks and methinks they are headed to sleep on top of the Empire State Building as we have seen this in the previews. Am I right? YUP. Heidi, once again is using the designers as minions for one of her many lines of clothing to do her designing for her. WORK MINIONS!!!!! They have to create a sleepwear look for the Heidi Klum Intimates line. I have never seen, nor heard of this line as I only wear La Perla and Agent Provocateur (that’s a total lie, I mostly wear Gap), but apparently it’s in major stores like Macy’s. Les points out that most people seem less than thrilled. They have PJ’s and sketchbooks in their backpacks and ONE day to accomplish this look. They also have to create a handmade textile. Samantha is happy about this, Kenya? Not so much. WORK ELVES!!!
Tim has the key to the Empire State Building (of course he does) and hands it to Brandon to lead everyone there. Claire is freaked out by heights (of course she is) and I’m guessing she will overreact and get hysterical? Just a guess. Leslie thinks the PJ’s Heidi doled out to the designers look like prison uniforms. I point out the irony of that statement. WORK SLAVES! They all are appreciating the inspiration the building provides. Even as a jaded New Yorker, I admit, I have been to the top with my kids and the building is a beautiful statement to art deco. If you get the chance, go. If this too cool for city girl went, you can too. Deyonte is worried because he has never done sleepwear. Michael very inspired by art deco and the angles of the buildings. He is also inspired by the Harlem Renaissance (which was an incredible period for all the arts) and is incorporating the two into his look which will be sexy and fluid. Kentaro’s take from being in the bottom last week is to incorporate more color into his look, so he is gazing down at the neon lights and thinking very hard. Les points out that Brandon looks adorable in PJ’s and pigtails and I giggle like a 12 year old. They sketch and bed down for the night. Les points out that it doesn’t look very comfortable.
The next morning Tim shows up rocking a beautiful suit and breakfast sandwiches. When Margarita wonders at this, Les writes: Yes Margarita, how does he do it? Double breasted suit and all. Now while sleeping on top of the Empire State building seems like a very cool thing to do, I’m thinking it probably wasn’t the best night’s sleep these poor people have ever gotten. The good news is that all their materials are already in the workroom. Heidi has chosen the color palette for them in silk and there are tons of materials to make prints. There is some shoving at first but everyone seems to get what they need without too much drama. Aaron is making a beautiful textile based on a vent he admired. It looks lovely. Margarita is test dyeing different fabrics and Kenya is freaked out because she just dove right in dyeing all her fabric without a plan B. Sam is being very sweet to Kentaro as he has never designed for a plus sized woman and really wants to make sure he gets the fit right as well as complementing the model’s body. (instead of whining about about it cough, Shawn, cough). He’s learning, not bitching. Sam points out; What’s the point of winning if you knock someone down to get it? Shawn is doing a jumpsuit. Or Claire. I can’t really tell because they are designing each other’s clothing and getting side-eye from everyone. Did I see a potato? Kentaro thinks his print looks like he murdered someone. I did see a potato! Apparently me using one in third grade to make a custom postage stamp is comparable to the designers using them to put prints on high fashion sleepwear. Kenya is really losing it and Les and I both yell at her to get her shit together.
Tim and Heidi’s Critique
The good news is that with Heidi there you are dealing directly with the client. The bad news is that the client is Heidi. WORK BITCHES!! Tim mutters to Heidi that this is the first time he’s come in for a critique and Shawn actually had something on the form. Heidi immediately marches up to Shawn and tells her this. She enunciates that perhaps she is slower and a bit indecisive. Heidi tells her she talks too much. Les and I die laughing. Heidi asks how does one go to the bathroom in the middle of the night in a jumpsuit. Shawn is disagreeing with Heidi (THE CLIENT) because she has to be true to who she is…..an annoying pain in the butt. Heidi is worried about Deyonte’s colors and the stripes on his romper the point down to her “va jay jay” and tells him it looks like a clown costume. He scraps everything to begin again. Ayana explains that inside the home Muslim women wear less so she’s showing some more skin for this look. Heidi seems happy. Batani is designing a beautiful long soft flowy gown and Heidi asks what she wears to bed. They all laugh and we don’t get an answer.
Margarita is working on a dyed ombre kimono and while Heidi seems pleased while Margarita asked her pointed questions, Tim notes that it might look like a menstrual cycle. This disturbs everyone. Tim should not say stuff like this. Heidi? Ok. Tim? No. Brandon is doing a pants/shorts thing with strings and Tim thinks the strings might strangle a partner…. “or be useful in tying someone up!” Says Heidi. Brandon giggles nervously. They love Michael’s straps but worry about someone getting in and out of it with ease. Heidi is also concerned about the length. Samantha is playing around with appliques (a word I didn’t want to type for a very long time) but they seem happy with her look. Claire says something about being inspired by carnations. I send Les a text: who the duck is inspired by carnations?? My phone is always trying to curb my swearing. Les texts back: who the duck, indeed? Amy is putting together something complex and they only criticism they have is that she put the skyline on the fanny of the panty and it’s too literal. Les and I both write at the same time: Oh Kenya. She has hit a wall, hard. They tell her that sleepwear has to have an ease to it and to not overthink it and go with her gut. She is on the verge of tears.
Heidi loves Kentaro’s print even though he thinks it’s not perfect and tells him not to be so “anal” about it. In the most disturbing statement of the night Tim tells him if they put coal up his butt it would come out as a diamond. Kentaro says he likes diamonds. They adore Aaron’s print and tell him to be ambitious.
Everyone has either seemed to focus on the fabric OR the design. Now there is a mad scramble to do whatever was neglected. Amy is worried that Aaron’s fabric design is going to make the material much harder to work with. She’s right, of course, and now he is panicking. The twins are co-designing each other’s work and Margarita points out that while they all help each other that the twins take it to the “next level”. What do you bet this is the cheating issue that comes up later? Everyone hates sewing with the silk. Deyonte’s model thinks she looks frumpy. Not good. Kentaro’s model tells him to sex it up and does him a great service because it transforms the look. Is he dyeing it at the last minute? He is. He can’t stop saying “anal” and it’s making Samantha laugh. The twins are doing each other’s work and making everyone mad. They are making Les and I mad. Everyone is concerned about everyone else and Les points out that this is a group that really seems to like each other…… well, almost everyone.
Heidi comes out looking nice and effortless tonight. Love her outfit. Demi Lovato is a celebrity and apparently designed a capsule collection for Kate Hudson’s low rent brand Fabletics so this qualifies her to be a judge. I’m sighing so hard my curtains are moving. Oh and Brandon? I want your jacket…call me!
Les thinks Amy was playing it safe but that it was chic and elegant. She would wear it all day in Palm Springs. I wrote chic for older woman, She thinks function is following form for Brandon and doesn’t love the textile. I wrote: cool for younger woman. I love Margarita’s sexy kimono and am getting Norma Kamali. Les was disappointed there wasn’t a sexy reveal. Les thinks Claire’s hot pink romper was great but the tie-over staple needs to go. I wrote: Lisa Vanderpump would love this. We both LOVE Batani’s sleek, sexy and elegant design. She nailed it. This is something I would wear to bed to impress my husband. It’s also easily slipped off. Too much info? Sorry! Michael’s skims the body very well and I love the fabric and straps. Les thinks it needed to be longer, per what Heidi requested. OMG Les and I both write that Deyonte’s dress looks like silk house dress. Amy noted that Deyonte spent so much time making his fabric and fabricating his garment that he left out the design. Les says this sums it up perfectly. I thought that Aaron’s wasn’t as awful as I expected, but there is something just missing. Les agrees. Ayana did a three piece look that we think is cool. Shawn did a disco jumpsuit. Les writes: who wears a jumpsuit to bed? I have several jumpsuits. Going to the bathroom is a PAIN (too much?). Zac is looking hard at Kenya’s look and we are worried. Kentaro’s look is stunning. Les thinks it looks too much like an actual dress but I think he made his model look sexy and beautiful. I want to LIVE in Samantha’s look and Leslie says if it wins she’s buying it.
My top three are Kentaro, Samantha and Batani with Sam for the win. Leslie picked Batani, Samantha and Ayana with Batani to win. My bottom three are Deyonte, Kenya and Claire with Deyonte to go. Les picks Deyonte, Shawn and Margarita with Deyonte to go.
Michael lands in top 3 and Demi loves his color combo and neckline. Heidi says it’s sophisticated, sexy and expensive looking and you can see the design that went into it. Zac says he wrote “Deco Cleopatra” and it’s really great. Nina is getting a 20’s NYC vibe and thinks it’s very beautiful. WTF is Aaron wearing? Sheer gathered shorts with jockey underwear? Doesn’t he know that only Brandon could pull that off? It’s especially distracting to Zac who hates his outfit. Heidi is confused as to how this went off the rails as it had such promise in the workroom. Nina says it’s poorly made and Demi mentions sweatpants. Every time Shawn talks I want to punch her. Every. Single. Time. Heidi thinks this is beautiful sleek and sexy and worthy of staying in or going out. WTF???? Zac says it’s impeccably made and polished. WTF??? Demi says it pops. WTF???? Nina says she loves the print. I grumpily agree with that. Even though it was probably her sister who came up with it.
Nina thinks Deyonte’s outfit looks like a sad dress, not sad sleepwear. She says the shape is nothing and it could be a hospital gown. Heidi tells him that it’s supposed to be going out into the real world and it’s unacceptable. Demi hates the elastic waistband. Zac hates it too. Heidi thinks Kentaro’s print is beautiful and this is something she would love to go to bed in. Zac says the draping is beautiful. Nina calls it adorable, fresh and charming. Demi has a lot of respect for him and his piece. They love it belted and unbelted. We are desperately worried for our homegirl Kenya. Demi doesn’t get the robe and Heidi couldn’t believe this was hers. She tells her it’s not practical to get in and out of (but a fucking jumpsuit is????) and Kenya starts to cry. We want to hug her and apparently so do the judges as Zac tells her kindly that he does love the color palette and she’s here to learn. Nina tells her that even though she struggled, she didn’t take the easy way out and for that she gets a lot of credit. They obviously like her and know what she can do. Thank God.
Michael gets the win and poor Deyonte is auf’ed. I text Les: OK WTF with the top choices this week? I then hastily add, the Judges, NOT yours. We are baffled as to why Sam or Batani were not in the top. Were you baffled? Do you agree with the judges choices? Again, stay safe everyone and prayers to Florida and Texas. Xoxo.