Last week, baby Monroe made her debut into the world on national TV. We pick up the next day with the two dads freaked out over the reality that they have a kid now. Because I move around and travel a lot, I never really had pets. Then one summer after I had just arrived home from a trip to Romania, I went to meet my sister at the courthouse because she was going through a divorce. We had a nice lunch and then when I returned home, I noticed my laptop was not on the couch. Some idiots had broken into my house and stolen a few pieces of jewelry and who knows what else. So I decided I needed a dog. I saw Banjo in the pound and then came home to stress about the decision for a day or two. Then I went back and got him. As I left the shelter, I suddenly felt this weight of responsibility. Oh, I also cried filling out the paperwork, which apparently isn’t normal because all the shelter ladies came over and were telling everyone it was my first dog. Banjo is the reason my diet changed. I would only buy him the best and most expensive food, so then I decided I should probably take better care of myself. I remember when we got to the car, he did not want to go in and some guy with dog treats had to come help me out. It felt like a lot and I was worried I’d manage to kill the dog somehow. I can only imagine what it must feel like for someone to hand you are real live human child. I think I would be just as terrified as Jeff seems to be.
Alexandra was allowed to hold the baby and bid her farewell. That had to be excruciatingly hard for her.
Eventually, that take the perfect little Monroe on her first plane ride, a private plane of course, and she sleeps through the entire trip.
For the next three months, there was no filming allowed to give the little family time to bond. Then they drop us back in to the chaos. There have been a lot of changes in personnel. Vanina and Taylor both quit. Gage is micromanaging the nannies so many of them have left as well. Everything seems a bit chaotic. Monroe has screamed for the past three months. She has acid reflux and colic. The screaming is terrifying. Jeff says her cry sounds like she is being murdered. He’s right. It’s a scary cry.
Taylor, the former office assistant sent a very long review via email to Jeff and Gage regarding his first 90 days of employment. I’m pretty sure that 90 day reviews are done on the employee by the boss. Taylor seems not to comprehend that little fact nugget. Jeff fired him via email. Taylor then responded with a go fuck yourself email in which he said he felt sorry for Monroe having to grow up in that environment. Sadly my DVR farted during some of the reading of that email.
Jeff, Jenni and Meghan Weaver and her big beaver go to Newport Beach to meet with their client, Heather. Jeff seems really bossy. Not his regular bossy, but a mile beyond that. Heather is pissed off.
What the hell is a 4-D ultrasound? When did we discover a fourth dimension? This is concept is worse than that time someone decided not to let Pluto be a planet anymore.
You know what else is dumb? Buying the second house in Hollywood when the first house next door had so many issues. Also dumb, bringing a baby into a construction zone. So the plan is to move out of Valley Vista and into a completed house. Oh wait. No it isn’t. The plan is to move out of Valley Vista and into Old Hollywood which is kind of but not really move in ready and right next door to the full on construction site they call New Hollywood. Am I missing something here?
With all of Monroe’s screaming, I think they are reaching the point where they at least for a split second consider taking the dog back to the pound. This feeling will pass. Eventually. However, this baby’s screams are causing me anxiety and it’s just on my TV. It’s not crying, it is blood curdling screaming.
Jeff and Gage are fighting a lot. Gage is the primary care giver. He can’t get any work done. He feels like a prisoner in his own house. He thinks he has postpartum depression. He needs a break, but Jeff doesn’t seem to be giving him any.
Jeff and Jenni drive to a site in Malibu and manage to lock their keys and phones inside the house. Thankfully there is a spare key hidden in the garage. Clearly everyone is on edge.
Back at Valley Vista, the nanny has walked off the job. Gage and Jeff are having a very passive aggressive fight in scary, calm voices. Jeff said when he heard that Janet Jackson left her husband three months after having a baby he totally understood. Jeff was ready to bail and just leave the country after two weeks. Jeff seems medicated. He’s speaking in a very subdued voice and is creeping me out. He’s also ready to quit on his client, Heather. There appears to be no aspect of their lives that is working properly.
Meghan Weaver with the big beaver hits the nail on the head. Monroe’s cries seem like a baby velociraptor. If the baby velociraptor was getting eaten by a T-Rex at the time.
While waiting for Heather to meet them, Meghan gets a call from her daughter at school. She needs her to come pick her up. Unfortunately, she can’t do that because they are in Newport Beach. He daughter, who is 11 years old, got her period for the first time. The drama never quits. Jeff modifies his involvement with the remainder of Heather’s house a bit because they are constantly butting heads.
In a particularly unpleasant argument between Jeff and Gage in the car, Jeff asks what things Gage feels he can delegate. He asks Jeff to take on the 7 am feeding now that feedings have gotten easier. Jeff Flips Out and says if Gage doesn’t feed the baby in the morning, then what the hell is he doing to contribute? Um, does he mean besides EVERYTHING? Jeff doesn’t even know how to take the car seat out of the car. Jeff says Gage is spoiled and entitled and contributes nothing and Jeff pays all the bills. If I were Gage, I would have pulled the car over. Gotten out, walked away. Called an Uber and left town for a month so that Jeff could see what exactly he was contributing.
Next week: Jeff does some work for Lea Black. Jeff talks to his therapist about his fantasies about divorce.
Jeff = CLUELESS Gage = SPINELESS
Gage better start sticking up for himself or this won’t work. ?
I literally had to put earbuds in because I was having PTSD from when I had my daughter! My first husband was worthless, did not change a single diaper (swear to God), could not be trusted even five minutes alone with her, was a filthy mess I constantly had to clean after, and the ONE TIME HE GOT UP TO BRING HER TO ME TO NURSE I LITERATELY PUT BOTH FEET IN HIS BACK AND PUSHED HIM OUT OF BED!
I owned my own business, was in college full-time, did not have any help but my mother, and took my daughter with me everywhere because I wasn’t trusting ANYONE with her care. I NEVER let my baby scream like that!!!! She barely had to make a noise, and she had a nipple in her mouth! She got colic and by God I sat in the rocker and ran the vacuum all night long!
The fact that there are all those people in that house and some EXPERIENCED MOTHERS letting that baby cry like that and Gage is frantic and Jeff is saying shit like ‘I make all the money’ literally made me take a Xanax!
If I had known that was going on, I would have flown out and taken care of that child myself until they had a handle on being parents! I’m not a perfect parent by any means, but there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for that!!!
And if ANYONE has a child and doesn’t know what to do when this type of thing happens, by God send me an email! I will volunteer my services! It’s my name DrBethHorneBowling on Yahoo!
Perfectly said. Jenny and Zoila just sit there like jack asses. I’m sure if they gave suggestions, J and G would be thankful.
Who rescued whom? What’s not to love about a Banjo on your knee?
I swear, I just wanted to shove my boob through the TV screen to poor Monroe. That baby needs someone to nurse her and snuggle her and walk her for as long as it takes. Because that’s what you do when you’re the mom. I’ve had colicky TWINS. There’s no getting any “work” done until Monroe is past the colicky stage– another month or two.
I think that they will learn to be good parents, but right now they are just two dudes. (Although I loved it last episode when Jeff said, “She OWNS me.”). They need to hire some better help so Gage can get out more. He’s trying so hard, but he’s a dude. The learning curve is longer. And there’s a reason why sleep deprivation is a Nazi torture!
I’m praying for them. I’m about ready to go knock on their door and volunteer my “Baby Whisperer” services!
I’m the biggest fag hag in the world. I love gay men. I want them to have babies. But I too felt the need to put that baby on a boob and shoot formula from the bottle on my teat.
I know the baby was screaming her head off but why the hell is that baby not being held!!!! You CAN NOT over hold an infant! Even during feedings–still not being held!!!! I know colic and reflux are horrible but hold Monroe for goodness sake!!!
Oh yeah, and I was also wishing for a wet nurse for Monroe like back in the day, lol.
My first baby was Colic. It was the worst and hardest time in my life. I literally would hold a screaming baby for hours on end staring at the wall. My husband had no idea how much it took a toll on me! I also, literally, had to lay my baby down in the crib to scream it out, so that I didn’t go insane!!! This was 11 years ago.
I worry about the new house having marble floors – not kid friendly. I didn’t know they were married.
The way I see it Jeff emasculated Gage by saying he pays for everything. Whatever made Jeff put that out there on national tv was wrong! Shame on him! I don’t like either one any better than the other, but Gage being so tired and all, just can’t seem to defend himself! I really feel for Gage. The way things are running there, the house -the business, such a chaotic shit show, I don’t know how the employees work. I know I wouldn’t be able to work in that type of environment. That being said, I’m not the least bit surprised that they can’t hold onto nannies.
I was also wondering if that baby coming had anything to do with Vanna quitting. She might have thought that since she was a woman, she might be wrangled into helping out with the baby on top of all of the other work she’s responsible for. The timing seems right.
I like Jeff but he made me cringe with that comment. He needs to let Gage take some of these meetings so he can get out and have a boozy lunch too. Jeff can’t be the only one that gets to escape every now and then. Why is Gage even trying to work at all.? They have a big staff, can’t a couple of them split Gage’s work?
I was wondering about that as well! Why couldn’t Gage work part time for the first year? How much money does Jeff need? Jeff is a complete asshole with no insight into his relationship but at the same time if Gage doesn’t stand up to him than it will keep happening. It’s a messed up dynamic.
I love me my gay boys too. Colic is the worst. My first had it. My husband would come home from work and find me sitting on the front porch crying and drinking a gin and tonic more than once.
I love me my gay boys too. Colic is the worst. My first had it. My husband would come home from work and find me sitting on the front porch crying and drinking a gin and tonic more than once.
ok my first thought was BWAHAHAHA because everyone has plans, but then babies dont adhere to plans! This is real life, guys, you cant put the baby to bed and get back to work, life has changed, like nothing else.
That being said, my son had horrible reflux, cried for the first four months, constantly. I was always crying, and thankfully my mother’s best friend called me and told me “it gets better, I promise it gets better”, and she was right! He ended up being such a delightful kid, but man, nothing was worse. My husband would swing him and rock him and sweetly sing, “you’rrrre, such a bad baby, the baddest baby we ever did seeeee.” I can sympathize.
They should be wearing the baby, and taking her in the bath with them, that was the only thing that marginally worked with me, and seems to work with many. If they come out of this with their marriage intact they will be stronger, but it is such an awful time. I have to admit that Gage constantly shushing her was super annoying. She will not conform! She is a Lewis!
Haven’t I seem Gage sitting there working with the rest of them all these years? What’s up with Jeff saying he makes all the money? Jeff is amusing, but there’s something off about him in the cold department. He purposely and routinely hurts everybody around him with his caustic or embarrassing comments. It’s ceased being funny to me now that there’s a child who needs to learn kindness and support for one another and loving relationships from her parents. They both seem so cold, and I think Gage has learned to be that way in self defense.
ITA DebBrenn. I think Jeff plays up to his reputation in front of the cameras but the thought that he may tease and emotionally bully his daughter in the same way is horrible.
The casual hazing of his staff is seriously turning me off this show.
Jeff is going to keep on and damage the relationship beyond repair.
Hold the baby! I couldn’t believe they were all sitting around the table staring at each other while the baby cries upstairs. Bring the baby down and pass her around! Sure they can’t breastfeed her but they can snuggle her and simulate.
And they just realized they can’t do construction with a sleeping baby!
I agree with everyone: hold the poor baby!
I also agree Jeff is cold–even cruel. His telling Gage that he (Gage) doesn’t contribute anything and that Jeff makes all the money was terrible.
Something that has always bothered me: Why do he and Jenni sit side-by-side, with their shoulders almost touching?? I would think Jeff would want his own desk, without someone else right in his space. There is no way I could work all crowded into one room like they do.
I love Jenni–I think she is great, the most likeable one on the show.
Way back in the 80s my son was born with colic so bad that I took him to the doctor. He screamed so bad that the doctor prescribed him paragoric. He had to look up the dosage because he had never prescribed it to anyone before this. He took one look at me and told me to ask my doctor for something for my nerves. I, at that time, had the luxury of staying at home with him and not work. I don’t know how people can function at work when their child is up all night screaming and they are right there with them. I know that night time is the worst with a screaming infant (at least that’s how it was with my son). If Gage is the primary care giver he should adjust his hours if he wants to continue working and get some rest when he can and Jeff shouldn’t have a problem with that!!
I’m with the others here-pick that baby up and walk, damn it. Her screaming made it hard to watch. I actually had to remind myself that it was taped months earlier and that by now she was probably ok! My daughter didn’t have colic thankfully, but in just being a normal infant I managed to walk off 50lbs of baby weight in 3 months(maybe I should take that reminder and get off my ass-tho it would take quite a bit longer now to lose my baby weight that suddenly “came back”!). My niece had colic and was a nightmare-so I really do feel for anyone going thru that! But thankfully it does get better! 3 months seems to be the magical time most babies turn the corner and you realize you might just survive this new reality you’ve gotten yourself into! Still, I was dying to be able to grab that child up and “walk” her! What a beautiful baby, too.
I love Jeff but the comment about what would Gage’s contribution is going to haunt them. That was a low blow and a wound that will be long to heal. He’s got some serious apologizing(graveling) and making up to Gage to do. One of the things I like about Jeff, tho is that after his therapy sessions and the occasional “come to Jesus” moments, he seems to actually do some re-evaluating, and a little soul searching and eventually realizes what he’s done and tries in his way to make up for it. I hope by the time he figures this one out that it’s not too late for them. Gage is about the only one who can put up with Jeff and I like them together.
I hope once their life gets a bit more normal, we get to see more of their time together with the baby.
First off, love the Banjo stories!
Now, did I miss something? When did Gage and Jeff get married??
I agree with you, TT. I would have pulled over the car and left him right there. It is bad enough Jeff said it, but to say it in front of the camera.
I can’t see how these two are going to make it. Ever since Gage started on the show, there has never been any affectionate moments between the two. I think there were more when Ryan was with Jeff.
Jeff better open his eyes and wonder why he can’t keep his employees – been going on since day one. Or, he is going to lose Gage. Oh, hell, I would have been gone after what happened in the car, for sure!
Good luck with that car seat, Jeff!
I remember Jeff saying that since he and Gage had been together for so long (8 years or so) Gage is entitled to whatever he would get in a divorce. I don’t think they are ACTUALLY married. More like common law.
Thanks, TT.
What breed is Banjo? I am sure he is adorable as you are. Maybe you could show us a photo of Banjo for a treat.?