Last night on Big Brother, Julie Chen announced that this winter, CBS will air Celebrity Big Brother! This will be fabulous. Even if you can’t get into my favorite summer show with random fools locked into a house, I think you will love to hate Celebrity Big Brother. The UK version has been a big success and I have never understood why we don’t do it here. The UK version has OUTRAGEOUS paychecks for the obnoxious D-listers they shove in the house. Ray J had the biggest contract ever at a million dollars plus travel. I am not sure he even made it into the house.
In the UK the public votes houseguests out like we did for the first few seasons of Big Brother in the US. I really think we need to go back to that next season as we have been show that people are becoming increasingly too stupid to play the game.
So I have been doing some thinking about who I want to see in the US version of Celebrity Big Brother. I’m going to assume a cast of 8 men and 8 women. Here is my plan for casting.
The Women:
1)Kathy Griffin. She has absolutely no career left in the US. She is currently on a tour to obscure countries like Australia (JK Aussies, JK) trying to rehab her career. I think she would be FABULOUS. Also a very likely first to be voted out.
2) Cher. Shut up, it’s a fantasy list. Plus she is good friends with Kathy Griffin and Kathy might be able to get her to agree to it as part of a package deal to save Kathy’s career. I LOVE Cher. And Cher is batshit crazy these days. She spends all her time on Twitter tweeting far left whackadoodle shit. Currently she want to fling her doors open as a shelter for the “Poor DACA children” who she doesn’t seem to understand are grown adults with jobs and families. Plus she could sing her own songs without worries about royalties.
3) Nene Leakes. Big Brother loves a loud obnoxious stereotypical black woman. I would love to see Nene on live feeds for a couple of weeks with no place to hide.
4) Demi Lavato. She’s a thirsty bitch lately and I can’t stand her.
5) Taylor Armstrong. She is a cheap get and I think I may be going over budget.
6) Bella Hadid. Because I want to hear her admit when she doesn’t think the live feed cameras are on her that her mother is a fucking fraud.
7) Kate Gosslin. Because someone needs to be the maid.
8) Black Chyna. Because we need sex on the live feeds.
The Men:
1) Anderson Cooper. I love me some Anderson and I think CNN could let him go for a couple of weeks. 
It’s not a very long stay on CBB. Also, he and Kathy Griffin have ended their friendship after Kathy’s horrific “joke” photo shoot where she was holding the bloody head of Trump. Anderson clearly could not maintain that friendship considering he is one of the few decent journalist left on TV.
2) Paul Kemsley from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Since the house and cars he rented for last season have been sold by their owners…he needs a paycheck. I’d love to see him open his mouth about Cher not wearing panties.
3)Taye Diggs. Taye used to follow me on Twitter. I didn’t follow him back. Now he doesn’t follow me anymore. He’s hot, but his WWHL episode made me wonder about him. Apparently I didn’t recap that which is weird because I think he was on with Kenya.
4) Titus Burgess because I love him and we need a black funny gay guy.
5) Gage from Flipping Out. Because I think he could win the whole thing and teach Jeff Lewis a lesson at the same time and maybe save that marriage. But he would never do it. He hates being on camera.
6) Ken Jennings from Jeopardy. He could hook up with Anderson and win the house.
7) Toby Keith. Because he was on The View today and I realized I made a mistake by shunning country music growing up. With all the attacks on the south lately. I may even buy some red solo cups.
8) Peter Thomas. Because he is SOFA KING THIRSTY. And he may admit to some illegal shit on the live feeds.
Okay, your turn. Who is your ideal cast to be thrown in a house and live together on Big Brother?
This will be watched. Cannot wait. Thank you. 🙂 Your fantasy wish cast are awesome choices.
Oh, I bet they’ll book Brandi Glanville now that she’s done the UK one! The UK “celebs” who’ve done CBB have often gone on to appear on the international versions, popping up in all sorts of random countries, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Brandi turns up on this.
Other than Brandi…. I’ll be realistic and name a few z-listers they can probably afford: Pat Houston and Stacy Francis (TT mentioned Ray J, so obviously I have the Whitney connection on my mind); Brody or the other Jenner boy whose name I can’t remember (Caitlyn’s children that don’t have the Kardashian Koins); Mel B/Scary Spice (I keep reading that she’s burned her Spice millions and she’s being sued by everyone who’s ever met her, so perhaps she’ll start turning up on crappy shows when she’s not shooting AGT); Lindsay Lohan (yacht girl money only goes so far, right?); and probably some of those social media influencers like Cameron Dallas and Tyler Oakley.
The cast on the UK version usually ends up being one or two big names that you’re surprised would lower themselves to reality TV who’ve been seduced by the money, and a bunch of people you’ve never heard of with dubious claims to fame (but didn’t cost the producers much after they blew the budget on some former Hollywood’er).
Oh, and some of those old Jersey Shore people. There’s one of them on every reality show, isn’t there? I wouldn’t be surprised to see The Situation, he’s desperate for cash to try and stay out of jail.
Ray J is suing CBB for 250K because they didn’t let him back in after he got emergency dental work done, they said he quit he’s saying he wanted back in. I think they realised they made a huge mistake and he totally wasn’t worth a mil.
I can’t believe this is my first comment after being a long time stalker.
lol I can’t believe it either. But we are always loving out UK fans. Truth be told, I fangirl out when UK fans post here.
Well, I thought it would be bad, but you have convinced me I would boycott this. ?
I know they probably already picked the celebrities for the season but they definitely need Kenya and Nene.
I’ll be watching this for sure.
Here is my dream cast.
Brandi Glanville
LeAnn Rimes
Nene
Farrah from Teen Mom
Rosie O’Donnell
Kristie Alley
Heather Dubrow
Scott Baio
Aaron Carter
Kanye West
John Rich
Spencer Pratt
Charlie Sheen
Louis C.K.
Boy would that be a short show!!
I can’t love this list enough. Call casting STAT!
I can’t believe they’ve never had a celebrity one over there, it’s the only time I watch BB as I don’t care much for the normal one over here in the UK. Your list is awesome, I’d chuck Stacy Francis in along with Ray J as they were good together for the brief time he appeared plus that girl is bat shit crazy! xx
Stacy Francis was surprisingly good value, right? Utterly unhinged and strangely obsessed with Whitney and Ray. I’d love to know what really happened between them the night Whitney passed. Been thinking about Whitney and playing her music again since seeing “Can I Be Me” last weekend.
She was excellent value and freaking hilarious xx
well, one name: Phaedra!
Please just no he who shall not be named !
T, you did recap WWHL with Taye and Kenya. I vaguely remember him saying he asked out Kenya? Your list is gold. I was obsessed with Cher. I did a big presentation on her in the 7th grade. Titus for the win!
The question is , will CBS psychology team probe each celebrity so that they aren’t compatible with one another ? Let the cat fight begin . Charlie sheen and Kathy Griffin , lol . I would pay money to see that . Jim Bob Dugger , Rosie O’donald , Whoopi Goldberg , Larry the Cable Guy , Jessica Simpson , Kathy Griffin, Ashley Judd , Tony Danza, Mike Tyson , Donald Trump ( after all this is a dream list ), Kaitlyn Jenner , Lady Gaga .
Your comment about Peter Thomas reminded me about something funny(I thought so, anyway!) that happened this summer. My 21 yr old daughter and her best friend were headed to see The Weekend here in Charlotte. They stopped at a bar first for a couple of drinks and appetizers. As they were sitting at the bar(I’ll also mention besides young, both girls are quite pretty) they were approached by none other than Peter Thomas who offered to buy them drinks. Neither watch RHW’s so didn’t know who he was, tho my daughter said he looked familiar because of me watching and talking to her about, she’d maybe come in while I’d watched occasionally. He made sure to tell them about his “celebrity”, so then my kid realized who he was, he apparently was disappointed when they left after their free drink to head to the concert! My daughter was like, “I can’t imagine why he thought we’d be interested, he’s way older than Dad. But the free drink was good.”!
I love the idea of Kathy, Nene and Peter. Black China or Amber Rose would be great entertainment. I would die for RuPaul. I do think Rosie O. Or Rosanne Barr would be good. Wouldn’t be surprised to see An Olympian of some type. I’m sure pop culture is going to play a part in the picks to get the young audience.
Paul won POV yesterday and I think he is just about to let Alex know he’s not using it on her. She is very confident they are a team and he is using it on her. This will be fun!