I am so excited for another season of Below Deck. Right away, Captain Lee lets us know that this green crew is the biggest collection of fucking idiots he has ever seen. We are back on Valor in St. Martin. Kate is of course the first one on the boat so that the lovefest between Captain Lee and Kate can begin. Gag me. Matt is the new Canadian chef. How long until he and Kate start fighting? Brianna, a new stew, has sort of a Rocky new agey vibe. I love Rocky. I think I am the only one though. Bruno is a deckhand from Portugal. He has no experience. He doesn’t know forward from aft. Jen is a helpless idiot who asks Bruno to help her with her bag. She has no experience so I suppose she doesn’t know she will be the one helping the charter guests with their bags. I hate Jen instantly. I am looking forward to Kate giving her the mean girl treatment. Nico is back as lead deckhand. There is no bosun yet. I suppose he will be promoted to bosun before the season is over. We also have Chris Brown as a deckhand and the obligatory female deckhand this season is Baker. Chris Brown introducing himself as Chris Brown and talks about himself in the third person.
Captain Lee’s first quote of the season is about how nervous he is about the green crew, he’s clinching so hard that “The pucker effect is so strong, you could not drive a straight pin up his ass with a ten pound sledge hammer.” Alrighty then. The season has officially started.
The two stews change their roomates so they can room with a guy because both of the girls need a lot of bathroom time. At least that is the stated reason.
The primary charter owns a trampoline park or two all the guests are adrenaline junkies.
Did Valor have a makeover? It’s really beautiful, I don’t remember it being this nice. Despite intensive instruction by Nico, the new deckhands failed to secure the deck cushions so they flew off into the ocean and Nico had to go retrieve them on the tinder. The green crew can’t even get the tinder back on the boat. The stews don’t know, despite Kate telling them, to serve the ladies first. It’s a shit show right out of the gate. Jen must be third stew, because she is in the hole ironing the whole time. Unlike Lauren on Below Deck Med I don’t feel bad for her at all.
The guests requested a fly board. I’ve never seen this before. I have no idea how to explain it. It’s like they stand in these booties and it’s like they are flying above the water. I have zero desire to do this. I’d be on the deck sunning my big fat drinking bloody marys until I passed out.
I love Bruno, but he doesn’t even know how to tie a single knot, even with lots of instruction from Nico. He’s adorable though.
Nico opens up about the unexpected death of his 21 year old brother who died after falling off a balcony. Captain Lee was extremely kind to Nico during that time. That happened in November. November just sucked all the way around last year. Nico says he still calls his phone. At the time of filming it had only been three months since his brother died. It’s just heartbreaking.
There is a beach lunch on the first charter. What could possibly go wrong? For starters Kate, who hates beach meals, leaves Jen the third stew with no experience as the solo stew. Why not Brianna? At least she knows a thing or two. Apparently, Jen has never opened a bottle of wine before. But, we won’t find out how badly she fails until next week.