I have to admit I’m a little surprised Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky hasn’t been cancelled yet. Jax and Brittany are as interesting as a bologna sandwich. With mayo. On white bread. You know it’s true. Plus, the whole show is built around one lame joke (Jax tries to do farm activities and fails). No matter how hard Brittany and her family laugh about it, it never gets funny. Sigh. The saddest part of the whole thing is no matter how much I hate it, I know I’m going to watch. So until Bravo saves me from myself, let’s dive into episode two of Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky. It can’t get any worse than last week, right?
We start where we left off, with Jax drunkenly telling Tan Mom and Mamaw that he’s designing an engagement ring for Brittany. Tan Mom is beside herself. Her daughter, the spawn of her womb, is going to marry a gen-u-ine celebrity! All of her dreams for Brittany are finally coming true. Meanwhile, Jax admits to us that the ring doesn’t actually mean he’s proposing. Way to commit, dude. But he’s fooled the family, and that’s what counts. The adults head home so Tan Mom can add a wedding spread in In Touch to her vision board, leaving the young ‘uns to tear it up at the bonfire. And they proceed to get smashed, Mamaw’s no alcohol rule be damned. All of Brittany’s unwed mother friends cheer, “Here’s to snakes and condoms, two things we don’t fuck with!” Cuz they’re good girls.
The next day, Brittany and Jax try to hide their hangovers from Mamaw but they can’t get anything past her. She demands to know who brought the alcohol. Jax’s lying skills are clearly slipping because his acting belongs on a middle school stage. So he punts the question to Brittany who has way more experience lying to her family. She blames it on friends who didn’t know better, even though she planned the whole thing. Hmm, precious Brittany’s mask is slipping a bit. She bats her eyelashes, promises it will never happen again (wink, wink) and they’re off to feed the cows.
Jax is fascinated that everyone purports to be so religious yet they’re all having kids out of wedlock. He asks Brittany’s sister about her experience and it gets awkward. This isn’t the kind of thing people like to discuss, especially on camera. After some nervous laughter, she tells him that Papaw made the family rally around her but Tan Mom put Brittany on birth control right away to make sure it didn’t happen again. Brittany offers to take her nephews out to dinner. I’m sure this isn’t a scripted moment to laugh at Jax taking care of kids. Sigh.
Jax Facetimes Tom Schwartz to recap all of his misadventures. It makes me miss Vanderpump Rules all the more. Jax and Brittany just aren’t entertaining enough to carry their own show. Sad but true.
Jax and Brittany head out to Applebee’s with her nephews. The younger one asks Jax what he likes about Brittany. “Her big boobs.” Brittany thinks it’s funny. Then the young one says he knows what Jax likes: her feet. Brittany laughs hysterically. I don’t think I have the same sense of humor as Brittany.
Then they head to Brittany’s dad Don’s house. Don tells Jax he has to pick up frogs from a big bucket. You know, because it’s “funny.” Don actually films it so he can relive the hilarity over and over. Sigh. Jax gets grossed out and Brittany jumps in to help. Everyone laughs and laughs. So funny! Don pulls Jax aside for a man to man talk. He wants to know about his and Brit’s future. Jax claims he wants to marry her but she’s losing her Brittany spark. He lists all the things he does for her (ie: paying her rent) but she’s still depressed. And he can’t ask her to marry him until they fix this problem. The whole time Don looks truly disgusted. But instead of telling Jax what an idiot he is, Don’s only concern is that Jax is leading Brittany on. Why are these people so desperate to marry their daughter off that they’d encourage this sick relationship? I really don’t get it.
Next week: At a fundraising auction, Jax announces that he’ll match every dollar raised. As the bids go higher, so does his blood pressure. Then Jax tells anyone who will listen that Brittany is losing her spark. And he gets into a huge fight with her best friend. I can’t wait.
This show is beyond terrible. Bravo needs to pull it right away.
I hate shows like this that make fun of southern culture. I grew up in VERY rural South Alabama, and I don’t know anyone who does half of the stuff these people do. Never been cow-tipping (because it’s impossible) never milked a cow, and never seen or heard of anyone being in the KKK. I would have thought the ‘ol redneck schtick would have gotten old by now, but apparently not.
Tiff, the KKK isn’t just a “southern thing”. I found out a few years ago that my Wyoming grandfather was in the KKK in the 1920s, No black people in Wyoming then, it was an anti-immigrant, anti Catholic thing. A lot of miners from Italy were being brought in to work the coal mines in south western Wyoming. Funny thing is his youngest daughter (my aunt) married the son of one of the Italian miners who ended up being an aerospace engineer.
I dont think any of the VPR cast can pull off a spinoff. As far as Jax saying she’s losing her “Brittany spark” – maybe because you treat her like shit, dude! I hate guys that treat their women like shit then dump them when they stop being Suzy Sunshine 24/7.
I think a VPR: Everyone was right, we shouldn’t have gotten married seties might be interesting.
How about Saving Schwartz? Sandoval and Crew work to extricate Schwartz from the horrible she bitch from hell he married. I’d watch the hell out of that. It could be the lead in to a show about opening up “Tom Tom” the bar with LVP if they decide to open that can of bad ideas.
Perfect recap!! I want to like the show because I enjoy watching Jax, but this is just boring. And yet, I too keep watching. Everything about this family seems off. I’m horrified that they keep trying marry Brittany off to a guy who has so much baggage. Have they seen him on VPR? He’s such an obvious sociopath — the chronic liar type, not the serial killer type. Why in the world would you want that for your daughter? Is there a severe shortage of nice men around? Calling her depressed is all part of that same sociopath schtick— comes across as caring, but is really about him, not her. He’s making his exit plans.
In other news, every time his age comes up, my husband I laugh about Carmen saying, You’re thir-ty-five years old! in her get your act together speech.
What’s even worse is that I read when Brittany and Jax first got together it was at her mom’s urging. I guess she had watched the show and thought Brittany should date him. I can’t imagine any mom encouraging their daughter to date him after watching this show ahead of time.
I’ll just be sitting over here in the corner, quietly loving this show.
Whuh? I’ll have what you’re having, even though it’s a bit early central time.
I don’t think Jax and Brittany have any chemistry. They’re very blah. I don’t see these two getting married. He seemed more compatible with Laura Leigh. The psycho from season 1 he dated after Stassi.
Jax and Stassi are made for each other as long as they don’t have kids.
Jax and Brittany take Kentucky really is so boring. I’ve tried watching it but it is so boring. It doesn’t have the Beverly Hills fill and I think that’s what we all like. The others are just regular folks and I guess that’s just boring. Lol
So did you find Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky interesting?