Bachelor in Paradise: A Virgin With A Date Card

I really need this nonsense tonight after a mini binge watch I started on the bad advice of some of y’all. It really messed with my headspace. I am in desperate need of calming happy shows these days. Jasmine also needs a big all glass of calm down. She is all in with Matt who seems only partially into her. Is this for real? Could she possibly be this aggressive?

The guys have the roses this week so more girls will be coming in to cause problems. First up is the virgin from Nick’s season, Christen. She’s still a virgin. She likes Matt, of course. Once again, this seems super scripted this season.  Jasmine goes to bark at Christen. But she does most of her barking to the camera rather than to her face. Matt specifically told Christen he would like to go on the date and was not taken. Then, he told the camera it would take a lot for him not to give his rose to Jasmine this week. Well, guess what, Matt? Jasmine is a lot.

While Matt and Christen are eating chocolate covered bananas and shopping for sexy swimwear, and making out in the ocean, Jasmine is making sure that everyone in Paradise hates Christen. Jasmine is drinking tequila. As soon as they got back, Jasmine jumped on Matt and started kissing him everywhere like a crazy person right in front of Jasmine. Jasmine not only cock blocks Matt but tells all of the other girls means things about her. Most of the girls either like Jasmine or are afraid of her, so the just go along with it. With no place left to run, she goes to Matt’s room where they make-out. 

Robby is into Amanda, but she is just not that into him. He is not good at picking up on clues.

With the constant churning in and out of this game it is hard to keep the names straight.  Late week, Dean went on a date with whatshername and Christina is not very happy about it.  Now Dean is in a love triangle.  I know I watched that episode but I can’t find a recap for it. Christina calls the other girl, D-Lo so I guess we will go with that. Oh Dean calls her Danielle. I do not like Dean on this show as much as I did on the bachelor. I think Christina is his perfect match.

Derek and Taylor seem to be going strong. Oh wait. No they are not. They were talking about something and Derek seemed to be joking when he said “fuck you” to her.  Taylor cannot handle being spoken to that way. They may be over.

Dean gives Danielle and Christina pretty much the same speech before the rose ceremony leaving them both hopeful he will choose them.

Matt decides he needs to quit the game so that he doesn’t have to choose between Jasmine and Christen. If that means Jasmine is out then that’s just great. I think Matt, who came on his season of The Bachelorette in a penguin suit, either has a girlfriend back home (like many of them do) or has no desire to have a relationship out of this situation and realizes that he is playing with real emotions.

Christen and Jasmine both try to get Jack’s rose. Christen had the best game. Before the ceremony, they bring out Daniel to give out a rose since Matt left. Dammit!