By CJ BOMB
Hello everyone and welcome to Project Runway Week 2! The lovely Leslie and I have been separated AGAIN by school events so we are arriving home to pour a glass or two of vino and communicate via text our opinions and views….which are always right. As I am leaving to come home, Leslie starts sending me previews and my poor husband says, “Oh shit, it’s Thursday.” I’m just warning you, I will probably swear a bit more than usual tonight. I still have PTSD from last season. Tonight it came back to haunt me.
Deyonte is happy he won, but it just means he has to push through and work harder. Batani realizes she has to show “me”. Considering how fabulous she always looks, I would say this is a good strategy. Just make it work for your MODEL sweetie. Hard hats and safety vests show up at the hotel. I have to confess. Les texted me about this before I got home to prepare. I typed back: FUCK….unconventional challenge???? As the contestants arrive at a recycling plant, I then text Leslie: MOTHERFUCKER. Again, sorry for the language, not ready quite yet for the unconventional challenge.
Tim and Anne Fulenwider (Editor in Chief Of Marie Claire) stroll in also wearing vests and hardhats. Tim still looks elegant. They tell the designers that not ONLY is this an unconventional challenge using recycled materials…..it is also a…TEAM CHALLENGE!!! The winner will be featured in MARIE CLAIRE!! I text Leslie: MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKER. I am sorry for those of you offended by this. I’m not proud. The theme is a high fashion look with a RECYCLE, REUSE, RESTYLE vibe. Now, much like the various size models I’m down with this. The textile industry is one of the worst polluters of the planet. There are so many wonderful fabrics being made with recycled materials. Les adores her Rothy shoes (check them out) and my kids have jackets made with fabric from plastic bottles. It’s just the team/unconventional combo that’s making me ampy. Or memories of Erin. Or the 3rd glass of wine.
Tim brings out the dreaded button bag and there is thankfully no schoolyard show of picking people to work with where someone is last. The first team is Kudzanai, Kentaro, Margarita, Michael and Deyonte. I immediately pick them for the win. The second team is Aaron (who has grown on me a LOT), Batani, Ayana, Brandon and our girl Kenya. Ayana is worried about the grouping. I think that these are such different designers and people that it will either work fabulously, or be a total disaster. Leslie did point out that Tim emphasized cohesion and wondered if that was foreshadowing for disaster. Speaking of disaster, there is team 3. Amy, Sentell, Samantha and Claire and Dawn, the two-headed enunciating beast. The other three look like they are screaming: MOTHERFUCKER!!! in their heads. I text Les that I pick this team to lose. Of course they have only one day to finish and five minutes to grab all the crap they can. Chaos ensues and Claire manages to cut herself. Samantha is sucking on an inhaler by then end.
Back at the workroom, Tim reminds them to be cohesive and that they will be switching up models. Everyone is sorting out materials and checking out who their model will be. Shawn is freaked out because she has never worked for a “larger girl.” Samantha calms her down by saying that she IS a larger girl and will happily give her feedback. Team 2 has decided to go with the theme of a woman who is an “upscale cheapskate” or as Aaron puts it: ballin’ on a budget. I actually love this. When I was a young lass in NYC, I had champagne tastes and a beer budget. I went to consignment stores, sample sales and thrift stores and at 46 STILL have some of my awesome finds and wear them to this day. Team one has decided that they are going with a modern Japanese theme influenced by structure and origami. When in doubt, Rei Kawakubo is always a good way to go. Team 3 has chosen the theme of water, flowiness (it’s a real word) and sea glass.
I send Les a text: WTF? Shawn is NOT happy. She wants drama and movement and feels like she just has to do what everyone else wants her to, including Claire. SHE IS BEING HELD BACK! How can someone sound pretentious about the designing of garbage bag dresses?
Over on Team 2, or BOAB (ballin’ on a budget) Ayana is worried about the sheerness of the fabrics not working with her modest design aesthetic. Kenya is full-blown freaking out. She is worried she is too outside her comfort zone. I don’t know why; she made an insane red carpet look in less than 24 hours. Kentaro has given Team 1 a name: Team Wabi-Sabi, which I looked up: a worldview centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. So, not to sound like a twin, but whimsical, if you will. He asks who picked Japan as an influence. Kudzanai is like, um you? Team three decides to call themselves team Tsunami. Because cruisewear and a huge tidal wave disaster are things that should go together.
Tim’s Critique
Over at team “someone is going to go home, please make it a twin” Tsunami, Tim is having a hard time. Amy’s raincoat reminds him of something tourists wear on the top of double-decker buses when it pours, and while he loves Samantha’s braided garbage bag top he’s worried that all the looks with it are too different. Sentell’s garbage bag dress looks like a garbage bag. Shawn does a whole monologue about how she is overwhelmed and she has never designed for a “curvy woman” and says “INDEED” and everyone else looks annoyed. Her dress is in pieces. What there is of it, because she keeps changing it. Claire managed to become part of her mass hysteria and in the end everyone is just trying to help them, Tim is concerned.
Over at team Wabi-Sabi, Tim loves their ideas of a Japanese garden being taken over by Samurai (um, ok?) but worried about the C word. Cohesion. He tells them to tie it together. They vow to make it work.
Ballin’ on a Budget is a bit all over the place too. Batani is trying to make a dress and Tim is worried that the materials are controlling her vs the other way around. He is not sure about Ayana’s long dress and after Brandon shows him his jumpsuit idea, Tim says that these five looks look like they came out of five different closets. Kenya still looks like she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. They realize they have the fabulous print Brandon created and that they should use it throughout. Tim leaves everyone in the room saying he’s worried, but has confidence. He also tells them he loves them. Because he does. Except maybe the twins.
Margarita points out that Sentell’s outfit still looks like an actual trash bag. He call his husband and cries at the stress of everything. Dude got married the day before the show!! Les calls him “sweet Sentell”. Amy looks at Samatha as they twins keep running around and freaking out like they are on a reality show where that HELPS and asks: we are in trouble, aren’t we? Shawn keeps saying that she was on the bottom and she is designing for a plus size model and this is different from what she normally does and WAAAAAAAAAH!!! Hey Shawn? You know who designed for a plus size model for the first time ever? Or an actual WOMAN ever? Brandon. And he did it again this week. And he rocked it. Without being a whiny bitch. So STFU. INDEED.
The Runway
Heidi comes out wearing a tiger print jumpsuit that would rock in Palm Springs circa 1969. At least her boobs look better. She goes on to talk about how much she LOVES the unconventional challenge. Which explains a lot. Zac and Nina are there. The guest judges are actress Maggie Q and Anne Fulenwider. I’m cool with Maggie as she has had good stuff to say before on this show.
TEAM WABI-SABI
Margarita’s kimono-romper was cute, and Les and I agree very safe. Led thinks Kentaro’s dress is beautiful, but I have to say, I expected more. From Les: Deyonte who is safe from elimination killed it with a samurai weapon. Predicting a top choice already. Even though it is intricate, I keep thinking eighties Edward Scissorhands. I like cuts on Kudzanai’s jumpsuit MUCH more. I think Michael’s was ok, but again, wanted more. Les summed it up perfectly with this text: Overall, I think they relied too much on the lace effect of the can bottle holders and could have been a bit more creative with it. I expected so much from this team and it was merely ok. Thank you Les. Much better than me screaming MOTHERFUCKER! (again, I’m sorry)
BALLIN’ ON A BUDGET
Ok, I love the front of Batani’s dress. Thank God (or St. Tim) she scrapped her original design. Not as crazy about the back. Aaron’s shredded romper worked and Kenya’s dress, even though it’s not a silhouette I love, looked stunning on her model. Brandon’s outfit looked very cool even though there were crotch issues. Ayana did a gown that Les loved. I admired it, but I have issues with fringe. I’m seeing a therapist to work through them. Les wrote, “Best collection that was cohesive. Ballin on whatever”. I wrote back that I loved her.
TEAM TSUNAMI
Me: I hate 99% of it. The braided concept of Samantha’s top works. I’m ok with Amy’s paillette skirt. What is sad is how this might have been better had the other three not had to deal with the twins hysteria.
My top three: Kudzanai, Kenya, Brandon Les: Ayana and Batani (she doesn’t have a fringe issue) My bottom three: Shawn, Claire and Sentell Les: also Claire, Shawn and Sentell.
THE JUDGING
Ballin’ on a Budget for the WIN!! Aaron needs to copyright that shit NOW. They love Batani and Anne says it’s “fashion, not just a dress.” Nina is obsessed with Ayana’s dress. She loves the drama of the fringe and the details, like the bottle caps for buttons. Zac says she’s modest but ferocious. They ask each of the designers who they think should win. Batani says Ayana, Aaron says Brandon, because it was his print that tied everything together, Brandon says Aaron, perhaps as a thank you. Ayana says Kenya and Kenya says Ayana. I think we know which way the fringe is blowing.
Amy asks what the hell resort team Tsunami is representing. They love Samantha’s woven top and mention it should have been the theme throughout. They ask Sentell how long he worked on his outfit and are amazed when he explained how long it took him. Heidi thinks it looks like it took 10 minutes and Zac tries to channel Michael Kors by saying it looks like a leprechaun went dumpster diving. So close Zac, yet no Michael. And then…….
FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING SHAWN. (sorry) She starts yammering about how hard this was and how she has never designed for a “curvy” model at which point you hear Maggie Q whispering to Anne F., “That model’s not curvy.” And Anne F responding, “She’s smaller than I am.” I love them both at this moment. Then Shawn says it must have been FEAR that caused her issues and please someone, ANYONE, send me a gif of Nina’s reaction to that. They tell the judges they design for pop stars and celebrities. I hate them in this moment with the heat of a thousand suns. It’s now the twins vs everyone else. The question is asked who should go home and the other three basically say either one or both of these idiots. Shawn says herself because of time management, but stylistically Amy. Claire says Sentell.
Ayana wins. Sentell is auf’ed. I am numb. Sometimes an “on trend” gimmicky casting works. Ayana did well today (despite my personal fringe issue) and Sentell, while lovely, was not the strongest of the bunch and would have eventually gone home early. However, we are left with these gimmicky twin fuck-tards who belong on a different reality show where they can be as ridiculous as they want to be. If one of them makes it to the finale, NO, if one of them makes them to the top 5 I don’t know how I can ever take this show remotely seriously again. I’m going to pour another glass of wine and have Les talk me off a ledge via text. What do u guys think?
Hated hated hated the winning look and all that brown vinyl fringed bowed crap on the wining team. The one who did the painted fabric should have won. He’s growing on me rapidly.
The shaved twin, who talked a tough and edgy game, turns out to be emotionally fragile. The one with hair appears to be willing to hoist her on her back and carry her throughout the competition if she has to.
Heidi…..what’s she doing to herself? Hair, makeup and clothes all looked awful for both runways.
The models-talking-to-themselves-the-mirror gimmick, I can do without. Not much caring for spotlight on the models this season. Just because they are curvy or fat, they deserve more of a voice than the skinny girls who came before them?
The whole tone of this show has shifted in a direction that detracts from the trials and tribulations of a fashion design competition.
I agree Anna. I hate it when talent based shows (Top Chef I am looking at you) get gimmicky.
Bran
As much as I have loved both shows for many years and will continue to watch, it makes me sad to remember how good they were and how far they’ve fallen, especially PR. Next year’s shoes and accessories will be courtesy of Dollar Tree.
Dollar Tree – That’s hilarious!!!
They didn’t have a hair care sponsor this season. Tim was like, “Use the JCP wall as tastefully as is possible, and there are some random beauty school students doing hair today. “
Oh go blow it out your ear. I like it. Skinny models in Season One were more part of the show than they are this season.
I also totally agree. Brandon’s fabric concept was the base of their win and he should have been the one picked. Batani’s outfit was over-designed — the back was tacky looking and the judges made too much of those bottle cap buttons. Loved your Dollar Tree comment – ha!
Great recap!!
Twin with hair is one trick pony, her dress this week was same as last. I knew Sentell was in trouble when he called his husband.
I don’t see how you say Claire’s two dresses were anything alike. Her first dress was actually great and would have liked to see her in the top. I feel like she has all the talent and Shawn not so much.
Similar silhouette with the extra fabric and tulle tacked to the left side of the dress. I am underwhelmed by both of them.
Apologies for my computer problems.
Have I mentioned how I hate nose rings? Maybe it’s my allergies that makes them so repulsive. Please get rid of the twins. Whiny, trendy, pretentious, Eliza Doolittle designers must go. I n d e e d.
Loving Brandon. He is a menswear designer and doesn’t meltdown with a team challenge using garbage on “curvy” women. Like his clean aesthetic too. Kenya is someone I would hang out with… positive, appreciative, talented.
Lastly my heart goes out to those in the Texas coast. Sending prayers.
The twins remind me of Niles and Fraser Crane. “May I add” It makes them much more entertaining to watch. “Indeed!” Hilarious
Indeed.
I concur.
No. Not even that image helps them. Niles and Fraiser still had a grain of likability.
Neither twin can do anything without the other. Please just make them go away…
I wish they would have asked Shawn’s model what she thought of bald twin making a huge deal about designing for someone “curvy”.
Did not like the winning look. Kenya or Brandon were my choices for the win.
I was sad to see Sentell go. He was sweet….
My eyes ache looking at Shawn. Not that she unattractive but the bald head, orange lipstick, clunky earrings and facial expressions are too much! She is definitely the more annoying of the two so far
I wish they would have asked Shawn’s model what she thought of bald twin making a huge deal about designing for someone “curvy”.
Did not like the winning look. Kenya or Brandon were my choices for the win.
I was sad to see Sentell go. He was sweet….
My eyes ache looking at Shawn. Not that she unattractive but the bald head, orange lipstick, clunky earrings and facial expressions are too much! She is definitely the more annoying of the two so far
Reading thus review has made my evening! STFU. INDEED.
two-headed enunciating beast.
You are hilarious!
I am done with them! The buzzed cut one should have gone home.
They do belong on a different show. Am over them.
The twins were one a reality show that centered around sets of twins living in indentical houses but separated from their twin by a huge wall. The sets of twins competed in challenges that displayed their “twinergy”. That term can be easily replaced with BS. Each week the sets of twins nominated two other sets to be evicted. The two nominated sets compete, head to head to head to head. They are asked questions only the other twin would know. Again BS. Which set has the most points after the question stays in the house. Believe it or not but the idiots Claire and Shawn won. Their prize a symbolic $222,222.22. I must say that they have greatly improved on their reality TV a–holeness. This show was called “Twintuition”. And it was on MTV, or maybe VH-1. Some of the details of they show may not be accurate cuz it aired a few years ago. BTW- back then they both had hair and door knockers piercing their noses. Sorry this post was full of mind numbing info but I think most of u are correct that they were cast on Project Runway for reasons other than talent.
I hate hate hate the twins.
Hate
Can i say again. Hate.
Shawn had so much help and then she throws people under the bus?? #*^$ that sh*t
Remember when the judges didn’t like it when the designers used materials that were similar to fabric for the unconventional challenge? Now using rolls of vinyl is OK? I hate these blatant inconsistantcies from season to season. I think that older woman’s (don’t know most names yet) CD skirt (which I did think was creative) would have been praised in past seasons, for example. Now it got a ‘meh.’
I didn’t think the winning team should have won — their’s just looked very messy to me. I especially hated that ugly fringe all over the place. But I do think Kenya’s dress was adorable and one of the best thing across all the teams.She should have won.
The losing team was more of a train wreck than the winning team so they deserved to be on the bottom. As annoying as the twins are that guy’s dress did still look like a garbage bag so he ‘deserved’ to go.
Team Wabi Sabi should have been the winning team just by default.
I hope Yolanda is the judge next week. That’s when everything goes to hell in a handbasket and hopefully when the twins leave.
Please, God, let it be true.
I don’t mind the twins. They stand out, are a bit of drama in an otherwise bland cast (so far). They are so very dependent on each other. Don’t think they will last long-Shawn doesn’t focus or function well under pressure, and Claire seems protective of her, and desperate for Shawn to do well, more than herself. They have an interesting dynamic, to me. I’d like to see them split up on another team challenge.
The nose rings are disgusting, looks like snot hanging out of their nostrils in profile.
The twins were actually on another reality competition show called “Twinning” on VH1.
If I had some fairy dust I would have used it to vault through the TV and bitch slapped the twins. Ugggg
Indeed, the Twins are annoying, but entertaining to watch, lol. I was for sure Batani (i think) was going to win!!!
It sucks to be the dumb kid. I watch this for people. I find the interactions and freak outs entertaining.
Well and Tim. I understand zero about what comes out of his face hole about fashion but I could watch his facial expressions as he tries to come up with a dapper and constructively cordial way of saying “what in the actual fuck are you doing. Swatch could scooch his ass on the carpet and make a more attractive and sensible design. You suck.”
My mom drops by and watches it with me. She seems to think I understand the fashion bits. I finally had to let her in on the truth. I hate like…everything. shit makes no sense to me.
If I understand or don’t despise any part of a garment I know that designer is gettin auf’ed. Hey that doesn’t make me wanna wretch or laugh uncontrollably at how stupid the model is…that poor bastard is packing up his shit (pun not intended) tonight.
With recaps such as this, I can pretend I have a clue. What is life if you can’t lie to people on the internet about how smartsy you is?
I’m dying to see Tim go ham about this cheating thing. Few things in my meaningless life give me joy like a pissed off Tim Gunn. A National treasure is what that man is. *wipes tear from eye dramatically*
Anyone else having issues w the site reloading every minute or so? HAPpened 12 times during reading this article and twice while trying to type my comment
Twins are a train wreck. I loved when the models interrupted Shawn to point out that she did not have a plus size model. And they weren’t gentle about it. I can only imagine their background is one of being congratulated for inhaling and then berated for exhaling. That’s the only explanation I can think of for the blend of ridiculous superiority and panic attacks at obstacles.
LOVE Brandon. He won my heart when he asked his first model (after telling her she was beautiful) numerous questions about what she was comfortable with before designing for her.
Samantha tried to get everyone to incorporate the braided look for cohesiveness, but was ignored. Brandon should have won because it was his print that brought everything together.
The twin are freaky fakes. Lets face it folks these two need to go.
Wow, so much hate for the twins. They are absolutely adorable, infectious if you will, indeed.
Oh look, the twins mom has discovered us!