It is really jarring to go from the offensive theme song for Shahs of Sunset that ends with “do me a favor lose the dress” to the cast praying at the Western Wall. Asa has a song called Tehrangeles that would have been way more appropriate for an 8 pm TV show.
I thought they said anyone could pray at the wall. Sherv and GG have chosen not too, but it one of them just said that the rabbi was yelling at someone that the wall was for Jews only. GG said that some Jewish man said “Jihad” to her. Perhaps that has something to do with all the camouflage she is wearing. She and Reza both apparently thought that camouflage was the look to traipse around Israel in. GG is very impatient that the females praying are taking forever. It’s much more crowded in the cramped women’s section. MJ cries in confessional saying that she feels unworthy of praying and asking for something. Destiny is Muslim and she prayed and had a very deep spiritual experience. If that rabbi thing happened, it must have been a rogue rabbi. It’s amazing how moving places like this are. I become very Catholic, and I am not Catholic when I go to Paris. Sitting in those very old churches takes up a lot of my time. It’s very calming and sometimes I have a nice cathartic cry that feels like a soul cleanse. I love that they are showing this.
It’s amazing to me how similar Jews and Arabs are. The Israeli markets look a lot like the Libyan souks, right down to the hand of Fatima wares. I never saw a “Pikajew” shirt in the souk though. 🙂
Asa and Mike got to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, where many believe Jesus was crucified. Mike says “Christian, Jew, Muslim, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about finding the light.” Is Mike finally growing up?
OMG! GG is getting a tattoo of Shalom’s name. Everyone over the age of 15 knows not to do this. Also, what the heck kind of dinner buffet was that? Cold spaghetti-os in a Tupperware? I don’t know what Israelis eat, but I doubt it was that. Go find some lamb and Israeli cous cous or something. The guys and MJ head out to the bar and in search of real food and to talk about GG dumb mistake. I am not sure why we are arguing about MJ having a bastard child when she is 45 years old and the chances of that happening are about as unlikely as Sheree and Phaedra getting through life without a mugshot.
When the drunk people get back to the hotel, they decide to wake up GG to see her tattoo. MJ has a key to the room. What could possibly go wrong? GG sleeps with knives under her pillow. GG takes it fairly well though and wakes up long enough to show it to them and Facetime with Shalom to show him. He wasn’t particularly thrilled.
The next day after the longest ninety minutes of their lives stuck together in a van drinking beer, they arrive at a resort at the dead sea. Reza makes sure that Asa knows that MJ called her baby a bastard. Because, Reza. Over what looks like a delicious lunch, Asa tells MJ that she feels she take jabs at her all the time and it’s hurtful. Everyone defends MJ except for Reza. They are not so much defending the bastard comment as they are the fact that MJ is an open book, and Asa keeps her real relationships private.
Everyone except Reza feels like Asa doesn’t tell them anything. Sherv wants to know if she had hormone therapy to increase her pregnancy chances. When Asa says she froze her eggs years ago, MJ is pissed because when she was doing that, Asa asked her all about it. I can’t recall if MJ actually went through with freezing her eggs but it wasn’t all that long ago. Asa say she didn’t tell MJ because she doesn’t trust her, and the table goes into an awkward silence. She says they actually froze embyros. There are seven boy embryos, but they didn’t use them because once they started trying to get pregnant, it happened very quickly. She says it happened naturally. Everyone thinks she is lying. I love Asa to death, but I find this miracle story highly unlikely.
Um, not one of the people on this spiritual journey knows that Moses parted the RED sea not the DEAD sea. Le sigh. The Dead sea is between Israel and Jordan, and the Jews were fleeing Egypt and… oh nevermind.
While everyone floats in the salty sea, Asa sits on the shore pissed at everyone. All her spiritual work floated away like Reza’s balls.
I skipped through the depressing scenes of MJ Skyping with her dad.
The crew gets to have dinner at House Number Three, a place where a couple has turned their home into a restaurant for small groups of important people, like Anthony Bourdain. Once again, this food reminds me of Libya. I would love to go there for dinner. There were male and female fish on offer. The female fish has the roe. Asa declines the female because she doesn’t want to eat another pregnant creature. Or something. My favorite thing to eat in the entire world is she crab soup. The reason it is so tasty is because of the roe. You probably picked the wrong fish Asa.
Mike is really sold on Tommy being a great guy. MJ cries because she has become overwhelmed being the caregiver to an ill elderly person. Asa doesn’t seem to have much compassion for her tears. I know MJ can be manipulative, as Asa says, but I don’t think this is one of those instances.
Instead of acknowledging MJ’s pain, Asa instead puts the focus back on her by giving a long speech about how she was going to announce the sex of her child tonight, but after the day at the Dead Sea turned out to not be a day at the beach for her, she changed her mind. She doesn’t feel like they care. But she dramatically tells them she is having a boy. Right away MJ is skeptical. She had seven male embryos (By the way, she acted like she didn’t know exactly how many male embryos she had frozen, but is was maybe seven. I thought that was weird.) frozen and just so happens that her miracle baby is also a boy. Clearly, Jermaine shoots the boy sperm, but still. I can understand MJ’s skepticism
Not to be upstaged by the baby announcement, Reza has some sort of drunken crying incident about the trip and how he wanted to be closer to his dad’s side of the family growing up. He talks about how Shabbat with Mike’s family gave him the experience he never got with his own family.
Next Week: Unfortunately we see more of MJ’s boobs, and GG tells Sherv that MJ says he’s cheating on his fake girlfriend.