Reza and Adam
Adam wants to hire a surrogate to have a baby. The name of the place they go to inquire about surrogate services is called The Practice. WTF? Reza quickly notes that the doctor is sitting at a $10,000 desk. This is a boutique baby making business. #ItsExpensiveToConceiveHere Reza Adam wants to inseminate two eggs to be carried together as twins with two bio fathers. Reza is blown away by the six figure cost of the whole process. Adam thinks Reza is being cheap.
Later, Reza and Adam invite an adoption specialist over to learn about adoption. Actually, they will be fostering to adopt. When Reza hears about LGBT kids needing foster care and adoption he cries. Reza says his mom told him that she could fly to Iran with an envelope of cash and return with two kids. The adoption lady doesn’t know how to respond to that.
I will not recap MJ’s sick father. It’s just too heartbreaking.
GG and Shalom
Shalom makes an appearance on the show. I am so irritated that GG saw fit to mess with this media whore. He is such bad news. Tonight, GG introduces Shalom to her parents. Shalom should be happy this is happening in public and on camera. GG’s right hand is injured. Shalom should be happy about that too. Shockingly, her parents accept him.
Asa and MJ
It’s time for Asa to furnish a nursery and Reza is there to help. Reza is starting to get a tiny bit of baby fever while shopping. But he still wants to go the adoption route. Asa says she and Jermaine were not trying to get pregnant. But MJ already said that Asa went to her fertility doctor. So, I believe MJ in this case.
MJ is trying to get pregnant ASAP herself. She is checking her ovulation frequently,and she is worried she is not ovulating. She also thinks Asa got pregnant to let her know she needed to get pregnant before it’s too late for her. But, is it already too late?
We get to see Mike’s brother. I feel like he should have gone to Israel with Mike. Instead, he helps him pack. It’s been about ten years since the last time Mike was there.
I can’t be bothered with Sherv’s fake Australian girlfriend story.
The Trip To Israel
I am thrilled that we are getting on the plane at the thirty minute mark. I was worried the episode might end with a “To Be Continued” when they get detained. I suppose it could happen, but I’m slightly more optimistic about it now.
I knew immediately that Asa would demand first class because a pregnant woman in coach for 20 hours is uncool. Because of her, it seems they all got the upgrade. Drunk Reza makes up with GG again in the first class cabin. Love the flat beds. And by love I mean, I’m extremely jealous. It is like pulling teeth to use your skymiles on an International trip. I have yet to get my fat ass in a flatbed. In fact, the last time I went to Paris, I had first class and then got bumped and almost lost my mid section seat with the extra leg room. And I still flew next to a six-year-old that cuddled up to me in a full on cuddle while I was sleeping.
They arrive at “NatBag” the international airport of Tel Aviv and proceed to clear customs. A sleepy-eyed MJ and Asa are at baggage claim. But everyone else has been detained. Being detained is scary as fuck. Check out my experience in the shithole MIA airport here. I later found out that Curacao because of it’s close location to Venezuela is a drug hot spot and a single female traveling alone made me look like a drug mule. It was so NOT fun.
Asa and MJ have no compassion for those who are being detained. I hate that about people. Am I the only one who would feel concerned for my traveling companions in this situation? Also, is it weird that production is with both groups?
Why is Destiny even on this trip? I mean it’s fine. It’s not that I don’t like her. It just seems odd because I don’t think she is friends with anyone and has no storyline. At any rate she gets out of detention after two and a half hours. After three hours, Sherv is let through. After four hours, Mike is cleared. I was about to type that at least they are all being calm. Then, it is down to Reza and GG and GG is getting really on edge. I don’t blame her. It’s an awful experience. I kept trying to tell the Customs people that I travel internationally every year for my birthday and to please look at my passport stamps and date of birthday. I was not particularly calm and had multiple panic attacks which of course made me look even more like a drug mule. They have been on a plan for 16 to 18 hours and now have to sit in airport chairs for five more hours. After five hours, GG and Reza leave together. Why did it take five hours for them to get cleared?
This is not the Israel I visited as a child. My mother traveled with a book called Europe on Five Dollars a Day, Despite the fact that the latest version of the book was Europe on $25 Dollars a day. My parents were CHEAP. And died with all their money in the bank. Like ALL the money they ever made in their entire lives. While I do suffer from fear of being a bag lady, especially with my current risky and not so lucrative career, I do think there should be a balance between frugality and enjoying life. Anyway, they have a very nice hotel and Tel Aviv is very modernized. I don’t think we went to Tel Aviv. We were on sort of a religious pilgrimage if I recall correctly. Jerusalem (both countries) and Damascus, Syria and stuff like that.
There were definitely no nightclubs involved when traveling with a child. I did however go to The Milk Bar in Beirut as a kid. It’s a lot like the Moulin Rouge that I also got dragged to. The Milk Bar was much more scandalous. titties and an elephant. Quite the memory.
Asa decides to leave the restaurant because she is pregnant and everyone in the place is smoking.
I love me some MJ, so I will not comment on the orange skin tight catsuit. But I know you all will. At the club, they all go outside to smoke. Reza gets hot with MJ telling her she is 44 years old and the chances of her winning the lottery are better than her getting pregnant. Reza is right, but why is he such a cruel person?
The crew goes back to the hotel and drags a guy and a couple of random girls with them. Drunken MJ starts a game of spin the bottle. The locals seem horrified. The two local girls make out with each other, unprompted. MJ gets the pants of the guy and may or may not have done bad things with him. The hotel is trashed. Sherv leaves a Benjamin on the table for the maids.
Next Week: They go to the wailing wall and harass the locals. I’m all in!