Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

  • COMMENTING RULES!
  • Blinds
  • RHOA
  • RHOBH
  • RHOD
  • RHONY
  • RHONJ
  • RHOOC
  • RHOP
  • RHOSLC
  • Shahs of Sunset
  • Pump Rules
  • Southern Charm
  • Below Deck
  • MDLLA
  • WWHL
  • Killing Eve
  • Open Forum
  • MAFS
  • 90 Day
  • Love After Lockup
  • FT
You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Real Housewives of Auckland: Loose Lips

Real Housewives of Auckland: Loose Lips

July 29, 2017 by tamaratattles 19 Comments

By Kimberly

We start off episode two with beautiful footage of Auckland. If people had no idea what it’s like they’ll want to go now.

AW!! DOG GAWN!!

So Michelle and Marley (the daughter’s dog we learn) has been invited to Gilda’s for a “doggy play date”. Huh? These people have children too, yes? Are their schedules not busy enough they are required to have an active social life for their dog outside of family? I’m a dog person but it seems to me dogs are the “play with the one your with” type. So why make a play date when they’ll be just as happy at the local dog park?

Michelle admits this play date is odd as Gilda knows she doesn’t get on well with her dog. The horse and the dog must chat and laugh about her awkwardness with animals regularly. I’m sure they are “brother-in-lawing” her (a Southern term) in their antics they pull with her. The horse kicked her last week. The dog won’t even walk well for her today. It’s her daughter’s fault she has a dog. She can’t walk the dog. She can’t abide it’s breath. Sorry but anyone who can’t get along  with animals has some very concerning personal problems. Animals know and the horse and the dog are telling us.
Michelle feels bad she got off on wrong foot at Julia’s birthday luncheon. Claims she didn’t start anything……rriiiigght………so she didn’t call Angela a plus size model right out of the gate? Yeah. She did that. Now she’s rewriting history. Everything Angela said was “dagger, dagger, dagger”. Michelle justifies calling Angela a plus size model because “let’s face it, she is”. She deems it fact so therefore it must be so. Gilda defends Michelle’s personality. Michelle wants a “do over” so she wants to plan a party on her terms. Gilda isn’t sure she wants to see Angela again. If Angela comes for her she’s going to shoot back because she comes “from the land of AK47”. What does that even mean? I’m from Texas and we don’t joke about guns. If a Texan says they’re going to shoot your ass…..look out. They’re considering it.

We move on to Angela who is a “life stylist” by her own admission. She “believes in the spiritual” because ” it’s who she is”………? Oookkaaay. She goes to this healing practitioner who has a room set up somewhere between a spa and a therapist office. Weird. Angela sits across from this woman and starts to vent about the birthday luncheon. So this healer helps Angela “stay true to what’s important to me”……ooookkaaay. Obviously she  is incapable of doing this on her own.  This practioner proceeds to tell her she’s got heavy negative energy and loads of daggers in her back. Why do people pay for this? I can’t for the life of me figure out why she couldn’t come to these conclusions on her own. So people, really need such affirmations? I guess so……. So Angela who claims to be “a sensitive soul” climbs the healer’s table to be “cleared”, tuned in” and have her “central vertical power current” stabilised (couldn’t write that without laughing out loud). Then her “power and control centre” is where this healer can “see” a couple of dark haired ladies with a lot of angry energy. So to rectify this healer “pulls” out (envision her hand pulls an imaginary object upwards from Angela’s abdomen) these negative daggers these women have somehow managed to get into Angela’s chakra as she breathes like a dirty phone call and waves jazz fingers up and down vertically over Angela’s abdomen. So now she’s been “healed” Angela wants to shower Michelle and Gilda with love. The healer says no that’s not going to work. Gotta disarm them first. What kinda sideshow is this healer? Of course Angela is smiling that same creepy serene smile she had in the park as she threw leaves. Bless her.

UP THE FASHION CREEK

We are off to visit Anne who has invited Angela and Julia to Goose Creek for afternoon tea. Poor deluded Angela takes it upon herself (remember she doesn’t show up anywhere without a gift for her friends) to bring an entire rack of clothing for Anne for in impromptu styling. Needless to say Anne was taken aback saying she doesn’t need more clothes. Anne manages to get her to leave the rack in the foyer. Over champagne (of course) Angela is commenting she felt “lethargic”  after she cleaned out her closet. Anne is sure she meant cathartic. I’m with Anne.

Julia arrives to stop Angela’s diatribe about fashion styling. Upon Julia’s arrival Angela wheels in the rack of clothes as Anne DOES NOT pop out of her chair to get the ball rolling. Poor Anne guzzles some champs to steel herself for Angela’s styling. Angela brought about a dozen outfits to which Anne knocks EVERYONE to a tee. Angela tops it off by giving Anne “the style book”.

They settle in to discuss the birthday lunch. They agree it was all bad form. Then Michelle calls to invite the girls to a dinner party. Now Anne and Julia are remorseful about what they’ve said and thought about Michelle…….from one dinner invite…..ok. So Angela is going to surround herself with “light” before this party. She asks for Anne and Julia to help back her up but they both tell her in so many words they won’t as “she’s so good at looking after herself”. Anne does state Angela shouldn’t take clothes to Michelle.

Michelle is taking her daughter Cristelle (but she pronounces it like the champagne) to a fashion show. Michelle remarks they were sitting front row at the fashion show which means she doesn’t sit there often. Boy this housewife’s storyline is thin. Even Angela in her craziness is more interesting. Michelle needs to parade more animals out as that has been the highlight of her filming so far.

OFF WITH THEIR SHOES!!

Michelle hates to entertain at home. David her husband keeps her calm. She admonishes David to wear a belt as no one needs to see his crack. Obviously this is a problem with David if Michelle needs to remark on it. Also we learn more of Michelle’s world which is “a dinner party is not about cooking”. She hosts. Julia and Louise show up first. Michelle greets her guests in cheap hotel house shoes. Then proceeds to tell Julia and Louise they can’t wear shoes in her home. The women aren’t impressed. I get this as I had a house with white Berber carpet and asked everyone to take off their shoes, but I provided clean socks which they could wear if they wanted. Michelle didn’t provide any alternative footwear. Bad hostess. Gilda shows up next driving her Bentley herself this time. Anne and Angela show up last. Angela played it safe and brought a bottle of wine. Not a book or a clothes rack. Bless her.

David is pouring drinks behind a garish yellow marble bar. It’s SO neon yellow I thought it was backlit at first. It’s not. It’s Fugly. Louise makes the observation they haven’t stocked the bar either. Sad little garish bar with eight little bottles on the shelf behind. Angela was deliberately not given a glass of champagne. We get to see Michelle’s house with Anne and Gilda. Well the bar may not be stocked but their wine cellar sure was! Stunning really. Her style is minimal meets eclectic. She has a black pig with a tray balanced on its head in a corner. So……it’s not a side table then? Then we get to see her swing day bed. Have to say this is cool. Wouldn’t mind having one myself. Louise, Angela and Julia are left to gossip by David in the bar. Julia tells them she knew OF Gilda but not personally. Julia then says it was Anne who stated Gilda was a goldigger though she only implied it not said it but Julia actually said it first. Julia reveals she’s 18 and a half years younger than her husband. Julia says she’d want to know if someone had called her a goldigger. Angela tries to get Louise to “get the real story” about Gilda. Apparently Angela has heard something about Gilda but won’t say. She wants Louise and Julia to do the dirty work. Louise says “Gilda has been described in the past as *beep beep beep*”.  That was more than one word. Julia says the look an Angela’s face proves that’s what she’s heard but won’t say. Angela denies that.

The table was lovely and the food looked scrumptious (wasn’t hungry until now) but the girls dissed Michelle for not having service for dinner and that they had to serve themselves off platters like the rest of the poor sots in the world. Well they’ll just have to slum it poor dears. Angela starts by dominating the conversation talking about her healing session and what the healer does by “getting daggers out of your back”. Then we are subjected to more heavy creepy breathing in a flashback from the healer. Will it never stop? At least on the phone you can hang up. The women all think she’s as daft as I do. Angela is stumped by the girls not having any connection with their higher self. Louise doesn’t think Angela is being real. Now Angela moves  on to having your colours done and how it can transform people’s look. Ive had my colours done donkeys years ago and there is something to colours that complement you, but she seems to place some spiritual aspect on this somehow. Gilda when Angela asks says she does her own colours and style. Obviously Gilda has no idea what’s being discussed. Clueless. Everyone else does.

Angela is throwing her own daggers at Gilda and Gilda doesn’t know why she would do that. Again clueless. Julia takes Gilda aside to tell her Anne said she was a goldigger. While they’re gone Angela tells the table Gilda is known as a goldigger. Gilda comes back to the table and announces Anne said she was a goldigger. Everyone at the table gasps as if this wasn’t already spoken about.  Anne points out its just what people had supposed due to the age difference in her marriage. Anne and  Louise both state if your 25 and marry someone 47 years older there is more to it than just love. They were married 15 years and Gilda claims they’re still best friends. Gilda says she’d rather dig gold and shit. Angela brings up that people in general speak poorly of Gilda. Gilda calls Angela a gossip magnet. Angela refers to the conversation in the bar earlier with Louise and Julia (to which Julia’s expression is ‘don’t pull me in this’ though she started it) and says what was bleeped. Michelle’s got to pick her jaw up off the floor. Gilda smiles slightly. She’s obviously heard this before. Julia is horrified Angela said this though she instigated the conversation in the bar earlier. Again Gilda unloads on Angela while she smiles creepily. Angela is a dog with a bone. Angela can’t understand why Gilda doesn’t  care what people think like Gilda is dumb for this stance. Gilda doesn’t really help herself when she states she’s heard nothing about Angela. Gilda was trying to say Angela wasn’t significant enough for people to speak about but it was a barb that lost its thrust. I guess Gilda thinks bad press is better than no press. Angela leaves the tables…..again. She actually leaves this time. Angela thinks Gilda is small minded. Michelle says this is Gilda’s town and if Angela wants to fit in she needs to get on with Gilda.

Next week: Anne has a Pussy Galore party. Angela and Gilda feud continues.

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Auckland Tagged With: Angela Stone, Ann Batley-Burton, Entertainment News, Gilda Kirkpatrick, Julia Sloane, Louise Wallace, Michelle Blanchard, New Zealand, Real Housewives of Auckland, RHOAKL

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Jaana says

    July 30, 2017 at 5:30 am

    This writer seems to really have it out for Michelle! Hmmmmmmmmm.

    Reply
  2. Caryll says

    July 30, 2017 at 6:39 am

    Angela is an execrable human being. Thanks for the recap Tamara I did enjoy this series, it’s worth sticking with xx

    Reply
    • Meindc says

      July 30, 2017 at 7:14 am

      I agree. Angela is completely off her rocker.

      Reply
    • sundayhare3 says

      August 1, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      Angela is kukoo for cocoa puffs, and I don’t mean because of the healing or anything. She just is out for blood…..Gilda’s. There must be a back story here. What could have been bleeped that was so horrible on a HW show to say? Oh that’s right this isn’t U.S. so maybe there are some standards on TV LOL.

      Reply
  3. HW.Fan says

    July 30, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Angela’s whole persona is a mask. It’s a shame because she has quite an interesting story: working bi-coastal, juggling her businesses and trying to raise a family / maintain a relationship with her partner. Those issues would be far more compelling and relatable than scrapping with women that could give two shits and offering style advice to the cat lady who swigs champagne like tapwater.

    Reply
  4. You Will All See the Truth! says

    July 30, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    Does anyone know what the big secret about Gilda is and why it was bleeped?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 30, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      Best I can determine is that basically she was accused of being a prostitute and fucking her way into New Zealand. Which is odd because I thought she had her own money.

      Later in the season, Julia makes racist comments to Gilda so there was likely racist terminology in there as well. Angela’s bleep was a lot longer than the original one. Perhaps there were NAMES of men in there as well.

      Reply
      • Caryll says

        July 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm

        Yes I thought she came from a wealthy family after the Shah was overthrown in Iran? Please correct me if i am mistaken. She definitely has a monied vibe to me, not a noveau riche one. She’s very highly educated.

        Ms Stone is ‘speaking poorly’ of Gilda. Sorry Angela gives me the shits, she’s one massive fraud and disturbed severely x

        Reply
  5. CoCo says

    July 30, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    Thanks for the recap, Kimberly!

    Angela is very pretentious and strange. What would make her think Anne needs her styling help. If I were Anne, I would have had her leave the rack of clothes outside. The whole holistic therapist thing was just wacky.

    Michelle and animals is not a good fit at all. She looked ridiculous trying to walk with that dog. Michelle’s house is gorgeous, but that neon bar has to go. If she wanted people to remove their shoes in her house she should have had “hotel” slippers for them to put on or asked them to bring slippers with them. Very bad hostess.

    For some reason, Angela has it out for Gilda. I can’t wait for Gilda to snap out on her and start pulling hair.

    Reply
  6. seymorebutt8 says

    July 30, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    This show is actually good. I’ll keep watching. Angelas creepy smile is very eeery .I like Louise, Michelle and Anne.
    That Gilda is a cold fish…

    Reply
  7. KellieC says

    July 30, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    Ok – I have seen the entire season of Auckland (online). And just and FYI the racist comment has nothing to do with Gilda and I will leave it at that. With the racially sensitivity of the US I am shocked they would air it at all as it made quite the publicity in New Zealand and not in a good way either. I make bets Bravo deletes the entire issue and the scenes are left unseen in the US (I believe they did this in Australia when it was shown there).

    As for the series, I found it boring and yes, Angela is annoying. I see nothing that would make me keep tuning in but then I have seen it and don’t plan to rewatch. To put in scale, it is about as bad as the RHODC and that was unbearable.

    The Auckland cast seems to try to hard – I much prefer Melbourne and Sydney is just pretentious trash. No work yet on a season 2 for Auckland but they are filming Melbourne as we speak (no Pettifleur or Chyka).

    Reply
    • Susie says

      July 30, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      Started Off good and then got boring and I literally tuned out..

      Reply
    • Suzanne D says

      August 1, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      This is Bravo. From what they have shown on this channel so far leads me to believe that not much is off limits. A couple of seasons back, there were huge racial issues on Big Brother. So much so that they had to address it on the taped shows and live shows on TV. It was all played out on the live feeds, so it was all over the media. CBS put up warning labels that they didn’t agree with or condone the views and statements of the house guests. A couple of people lost their jobs and didn’t find out about it until they were out of the house. The one girl, and I can’t think of her name, was so bad, nasty, and so offensive, her mother hired a PR person to start working on fixing her image the second she got out of the game. But a lot of what went down was aired. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens.

      Reply
    • Felina says

      August 5, 2017 at 6:34 pm

      I only found this show last Saturday, at noon, listed as S1 E2, originally aired 7/21/17. As I’m doing housework then, I thought it would be a great ‘seat filler’ for all my shows that are on hiatus. Now I see ppl talking about seeing the whole season. I’m confused, Is this Season 1 or 2. BYW, my Ondemand only has 2E’s from S1.??? Anyone?

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        August 5, 2017 at 9:11 pm

        I totally forgot to recap this show today. The reason for that is that it didn’t record for me. Thankfully the recap has already been written and I can slap it up in a little bit.

        There has only been one season, but it aired last year in NZ and we are just now getting it. Some people watched it on (probably illegal) youtube sites as it was airing in real time.

        Today was episode three which I will put up the recap my my NZ friend written last year. ASAP.

        Reply
  8. KellieC says

    July 30, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Oh and thanks to all who helped with spam issues (amazon rewards). Especially understanding Tamara – you rock!

    Reply
  9. Looloo says

    July 31, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    Whoa these women try really really really hard… It’s awkward to watch… It’s so obvious.

    Reply
  10. JoJoFLL says

    August 1, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    Angela and that creepy smile remind me of Twisty The Clown in AHS.

    I’m on the fence with this franchise. I liked the first episode but now it seems like they are reaching.

    Reply
  11. Suzanne D says

    August 1, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    I missed the first episode, so maybe I missed why this writer hates Gilda. It’s Angela that I can’t stand. She’s like the Andrea of the RHOMelbourne. If she wants to compare Gilda’s style to hers, it’s like comparing a Masters educated artist to a 2 year old with a crayons. Gilda’s make up was the best of the bunch. Angela looks like a bipolar woman off her meds. What’s with that horrible bright lipstick? Like I said, I missed what happened before Julia’s birthday lunch. All I see is dingle nuts Angela giving Gilda her book on style. I got the impression that Michelle jumped on the bandwagon to defend Gilda because Angela was out of line.

    I didn’t see anything in the second episode to change my mind about Angela. The woman has no self awareness. Especially showing up with a rack of ugly-ass clothes. Clothes that were actually uglier than Michelle’s iridescent yellow marble bar. I actually thought Gilda handled herself perfectly, and her line about not hearing a thing about Angela didn’t fall flat at all. So unless I missed why Gilda is the bad guy, the problem is that Angela is a miserable person and should fire that fake shaman putting more ludicrous ideas into that crazy woman’s head.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Come For The Tea, Stay For The Shade!

  • Open Forum: I NEED A FUCKING NAP
  • Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.
  • Southern Charm Recap: Treehouse of Cards Part 1
  • RHOSLC Recap: In Hot Water
  • RHOC Recap: Making Waves
  • Fact Check: Is Farrah Abraham On The Cover Of Harper’s Bazaar?
  • RHOD Recap: You Dim Sum, You Lose Sum

SEARCH TAMARA TATTLES

Recent Comments

  • Lee on Southern Charm Recap: Treehouse of Cards Part 1
  • LuluC on Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.
  • MelG on Southern Charm Recap: Treehouse of Cards Part 1
  • LuluC on Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.
  • MelG on Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.
  • ZenTrying on Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.
  • MelG on Y’all PLEASE Wear A Mask. PLEASE.

Archives

Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in