It’s the morning after the drunkfest of last week where Luann literally got falling down drunk. And yet, Luann got up with Dorinda for yoga at dawn. At breakfast Carole gets flowers from Adam, and Tinsley gets flowers from Scott. You can tell that Scott sent both arrangements. They are stunning tropical arrangements in giant baskets. The pair must have cost a thousand dollars. Tinsley card says, “Here is to the best and longest first date ever!” Oh this one is a keeper.
Bethenny pulls Ramona aside and suggests that tomorrow she stick with her idea not to go to the tequila factory. Ramona is upset not to be invited. No one cares.
Ramona then goes to breakfast with Sonja and they talk about how Tinsley friend jumps and Bethenny is a a snake. Then, Tinsley finally wakes up and she is still pissed at Sonja for planting the fake story on Page Six. Sonja of course continues to deny planting the story and she also refuses to call Page Six to refute the story. Because, she’s the one who planted it!
Meanwhile, the sane people go to take surfing lessons. Dorinda and Luann are learning for the first time. Basically anything to get away from Ramona and Sonja. Dorinda accidentally clocks hungover Luann in the head with a long board, and in true fashion Luann takes it in stride. Dorinda put in a good effort on the surf board and sort of got the hang of it. Luann and Carole crashed and burned a lot. And of course, Bethenny was great at it.
The surfers go into a charming Mexico city full of touristy stuff to buy. Oh wait, all the girls are there now. Bethenny sees obsessed with how to pay for things. She doesn’t have cash. Carole is the only one with pesos. Again, what is wrong with these people? How do you not have cash in the local currency to buy things with? Bethenny tries to use her credit card but she didn’t tell the card company she was going to be in Mexico so the transaction will not go through. Le sigh. Ramona paid for Bethenny’s dress. It’s the price of going to Bethenny’s event the next day. Then she buys all the girls purses with Luann’s money. Again, this is why a travel solo. Ramona forgot to get Dorinda a bag.
Bethenny says she just can’t leave Ramona alone at the house. She tells Sonja to tell her she can come. Sonja says that Ramona is miserable because she used to have sex every night with Mario. She was happy in the marriage. Now she’s alone and sexually frustrated.
The ladies go out for an early dinner so that they can be refreshed for the long day trip to the agave fields tomorrow. Tinsley and Sonja get into it again about the Page Six story. It’s true that Sonja was trashing Tinsley all over town about being a bad houseguest. I received that rumor as well as the one about how unhappy Tinsley was living with Sonja. Page Six didn’t print a story on how miserable Tinsley was sleeping with stuffed animals from 1997.
Then the women start their usual raunchy sex talk. Dorinda interrupts with gag gifts for each woman.
Back at the house Bethenny reiterates the dress code for the agave fields even though it was printed on all of their itineraries. They need to wear pants and closed toed shoes. Let’s take bets on who doesn’t listen to the dress code. I am all in on Ramona. Bethenny tearfully begs Ramona not to do anything to embarrass her in front of her business partners tomorrow. I’m gonna bet Ramona fucks it up tomorrow as well.
The day of the trip, Sonja announces she hasn’t had a drink in ten months. Um, what? Hasn’t she been drunk all season? All the girls head out to catch two helicopters to Tequila. The weather looks fine for the ride over. Perhaps it was only the ride back that I heard was a problem?
The women are clearly on the tour that you book through the Four Seasons, in case anyone wants to go. It’s a bit too touristy for my taste. And I am not allowed to drink tequila. Ever. Tequila seems to make Bethenny emotional too. If she is like me, it starts off good and ends in crying about basically anything.
Inside the factory, they drink 130 proof tequila. Repeatedly. Not including the giant margaritas they got on arrival or the margaritas that Sonja ordered at lunch, there were eight large shots of eight different tequilas served at lunch. Apparently, the tequila stopped them all from bitching because they all got along. While they did show some dark clouds when the helicopters took them home, there was no film of any scary flights.
Unless Bethenny’s “business partners” are the guys who run the tour of the agave fields, there was nary a “business partner” in sight.
Back at the house, the drinking continues. The girls are all shit faced. Bethenny is twirling like Kenya Moore on top of tables. People were using the rope swing into the pool while wasted. Sonja is molesting everyone. Sonja tries to tell Ramona she is sad and miserable without Mario. What is the point of that? It is so bad that even Bethenny is defending Sonja.
Next week: Dorinda stabs her hand, and all the same problems that were ignored this episode come to a head again as the Mexican fiesta continues.