Catfish: Johnny and Connor

The Set-Up: Jonathon is 35 and lives in Northern California. He has fallen in love with a guy he met on Tinder (I think he means Grindr, I’m just saying) named Connor who is 26 and lives near San Francisco. Then one day Connor ghosted and shut down his profile so they had no way to contact each other. WTF? For five month they never exchanged a phone number or an email to share dick pics? He recently reactivated his profile. This story is fishy already. Catfishy.

So they call up Jonathan on Skype and lo and behold it is Johnny, the catfish from a previous episode. So I stopped everything to search for my recap of this show, which I feel sure that I wrote, but I cannot find it anywhere so I must have just watched it without recapping it. That’ll learn me! 🙁  Johnny used the opening salvo of “Are you spaghetti? Because I want you to meat my balls!” to catfish the first guy. This time he went with “Are you a racehorse? Because when I ride you I will always finish first.”  He’s a classy dude.

Johnny is in love with Connor. Connor will not call him on the phone but now they text all day everyday. Off the boys go to Monterey. Johnny is a lying liar who lies. We know this because he was the catfish last time. He claims he was afraid to come out as gay. He had one boyfriend, Camron, and they just kissed and he has never had another physical relationship with a man. His family found out he was gay watching the first episode. In other previously unreported news, Johnny says that Connor lives with his ex Camron. So I presume he is actually his ex. That would explain why Connor won’t talk to him on the phone. Or it could be Andrew, the guy that Johnny catfished on the first episode. The photo the catfish is using seems like a professional photo.

The incredibly simplistic Internet search: The reverse phone search on Connor is a Monterey pre paid number. Johnny lives in Montery but Connor lives near San Francisco. Now the boys are thinking that the entire relationship with Connor was made up by Johnny, the lying liar who lies, to get them to help him find Camron. Interesting theory. I like it.  They call Camron, but I have a feeling that phone is one that Johnny used to make the whole thing up.

The Trip to Camron’s House: The boys tell Johnny that since he knows where Camron lives, they should just drive on over there. IDGI. If he knows where Camron lives why would he need to make up this catfish story for them to help him find Camron? If he knows where Camron lives, why doesn’t he ever stake out the house to see if Connor ever comes in or out? What? Don’t pretend like you have never staked out someone’s house before. On the ride to Camron’s house they flat out ask him if this was his plan all along to get them to take him to Camron. He denies it.

Nev goes to knock on the door. You  know production has already been in there to stage the place. Except they haven’t because the man steps outside to talk to him.  He’s the landlord of the building he says Connor is one of his tenants in the back unit, and he has a male-female couple that lives with him. The photo Johnny thinks is Connor is in fact not him. The landlord calls Connor and leaves a message. I think Camron has to be the guy. The guys decide to head back to Monterey. But Camron calls while they are in the car.

Camron tells the boys that Johnny pretty much made up the thing about them having a relationship on the first show. He says they talked here and there on Tindr and they met up a couple of times pretty much at Johnny’s insistence and he made it very clear to Johnny that he was not interested, so he was shocked to see him making it seem like they had a relationship on the show because that was just not the case. Most of their contact was Johnny pursuing him and Camron saying that he was way too busy to see him. Basically, Camron was concerned that Johnny had so many feels from the beginning and he was uncomfortable and at the same time didn’t want to hurt his feelings by being too direct with him. Camron said to Johnny that they were never even dating, so there was no big breakup. Johnny is a lying liar who lies.

The next day, Nev lets us know that Connor texted the night before. And he’s willing to meet up. But when they text him back, he refused to take a phone call from them. So it’s Johnny. But when they get to Johnny’s house, Connor texts them while they are sitting on Johnny’s new living room set. Connor seems to know where Johnny lives. Johnny is really bad at faking surprise by this news. Like really bad. So Connor has gotten some dude to play the part using his fake phone. The person playing the role of Connor is coming by bus, so maybe he paid a homeless person.

A black woman shows up to play the role of a scorned female that Johnny had hooked up with. Did Johnny hire her or did production? She hopped right on “that bus” in clothes that were plain with no logo just like production requires. Supposedly, they were dating before the first show aired. Shana catfished him to retaliate after he came out as gay on the show. Wait, if Shana was Connor, why did they drive to San Francisco and whose house was that and why was there a Connor living there???

Max points out the obvious. Johnny lead Shana on like Camron led Johnny on. Again, this is a whole lot of bad acting here. Except for Max and Nev who have had plenty of years of experience.

Johnny apologizes to Shana. I feel like I need some apologizes from someone. This was the fakest episode EVER.  Also I am now late to the Big Brother feeds.  Max jokes with Johnny saying, “See you season seven!”

Two month Check in: Shana says she and Johnny are still friends and they hung out at a baseball games. No one got on base. Shana is not dating anyone. Johnny says he has been busy with school and work. He has not dating anyone. Nev jokes again that he is sure he will see him again.

I need those of you that track these idiots down to find out the real story. Is Johnny a media whore? Or did production just need a new episode?