The Set Up: April is twenty years old and lives in Utah. Dean is 22 and lives in Texas. They met seven years ago in a teen chat room. Over the course of the seven years, Dean would go off the grid for a while and come back. He did not video chat with her and stood her up or backed out of meet-ups. Typical catfish so far. The first time he went radio silent, it lasted about nine months. When he turned back up he said he has dropped out of high school, he was having problems at home and he didn’t want to talk about those things with her. Then later, he disappeared for another year. Then he randomly called her and said his mom passed away. Each time she was his emotional support. It would seem to me that if she knew his real name, she could, oh I don’t know, GOOGLE HIS NAME. Find an obituary. Or a prison record. Or something.
The boys go to her house where we see way cooler furniture than what they normally provide. However, there were some issues with the outside of the house. That could have been landscaping in progress. Who knows? But the house was stages with the usual ficus and non-copyrighted decor.
They has many hours of conversations a day and then at some point he could not afford a phone anymore and said they could only communicate by face book. He has a male room mate named Dakota. So to translate, he got a girlfriend and could no longer have the 7 hour phone calls or even have her number show up on his bill. In fact, the girlfriend is probably named Dakota. Is April trying to say she is a virgin who hasn’t had any relationships in between the ages of 13 and 20 except for Dean?
The Simplistic Google Investigation Any Moron Could Do: The Facebook Page where they communicate is basically a shell account. Interestingly to me, as someone who resizes a lot of photos, his photos are all 640 by 640. That is the standard Instagram size. Why do they not ever check Instagram on this show? They do find a guy named Dakota, I think on his FB page that they are going to message. So maybe he’s …what do the kid’s call it these days? Sexually fluid. The also message two females from his page. One of the girl’s calls and relates that she met Dean in teen chat six years ago and they basically have the exact same relationship that April has. Nev tells her he’s a catfish and to dump the guy. Also, a phone number trace indicates the guy might be a married guy named John who has a kid named Dakota who is much older than the girls. There are probably tons of girls out there.
The other girl messages them and says she can’t talk because she is about to start an 8 hour shift, but she gives them Dean’s number to call him. When they do a search on that number, the guy named Dakota pops up. The guys want to call Dakota in front of April. When they call, the guy is not Dean. He is kind of sketch. He says that dean sometimes crashes on his couch. IDGI. This one could literally be anything.
Later, Dean texts Nev from Dakota’s phone and says he’d love to meet up with April and he will be at Dakota’s all weekend. Just drop by. He gives an address.
The Couples Meet: The next day April and the boys head to Texas while production sets up “Dakota’s place for filming.” Will there be a ficus? Nev goes to the door and Dakota answers. Dakota has a very small mouth. This is one of my errr issues. Dakota says that Dean took off in a car about fifteen minutes ago. I am worried they will all get axe murdered by the small mouthed dude. He looks a bit off. Is he really Dean? April says that Dakota is not Dean because they don’t have the same voice. In the car, they Facebook Message Dean. Before they pull away, someone shows up. But it is a pizza delivery guy. I’d ask him who the delivery was for. But I’m a better P.I. than these three.
The next day, Dean has not responded to anyone. Nev calls Dakota and he says Dean should be there all day so just come by whenever. So off they go to Dakota’s house again. Dean is there. It’s really Dean! The guy from the photos! This almost never happens on this show! Dean says he just got freaked out yesterday and was worried that April wouldn’t like him. He was basically telling the truth about everything. He’s basically 23, a high school dropout with no parents and trying to get on his feet. He says the thing with Zoe was completely platonic. He seems into her. What the hell is he carrying around? A beer? A bong? What? They agree to continue their relationship. They hug goodbye. There is no kiss.
Two months later: April is in a relationship. She still talks to Dean on a friend level. Dean and the new guy both know about each other. I do not believe she just suddenly has a relationship in two months. Dean seems fine with whatever, though he wishes that they talked more often. This was a weird one. Both were mostly who they claimed to be, and it still didn’t work out in real life.
I’ll try to continue to catch up on Catfish this tomorrow or over the weekend.