It’s finally time for a new season of Shahs! MJ and Tommy have moved in to a new apartment together. While it is new to them, it is not new at all. It needs a lot of renovating and for whatever reason, they opted to move in before starting the construction. OMG. There is an even bigger problem with the apartment. MJ’s mama, Vida lives in the building and can literally see into their unit from her place. In the very first episode, Vida and Tommy get into a screaming match.
Mike has also moved into a new apartment and it looks awesome. Mike is having a party. Mike’s mother is happy that he is divorced and she can be the main woman in his life again.
GG is going to some sort of California whackadoodle yoga/meditation class to deal with her anger issues. She also claims to have gone to rehab after attacking Adam last season. There is a lot of yelling and crying and burning resentments on little pieces of paper.
Asa meets with Reza to tell him she is pregnant. She is five months along. I am having trouble focusing on this conversation because I am mesmerized by Asa’s jewelry.
Asa is at the doctor who is trying to tell her to get a flu shot and whooping cough vaccine. I scream at my TV, “ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT.” Thankfully, Asa hears me and politely declines. Asa’s mom cries during the ultrasound.
Reza tries to pretend he doesn’t have time to play tennis during the day. Adam rolls his ankle right off the bat. Adam tells Reza he is ready for babies. Apparently, they have not even bought a house yet.
Sherv has some guys over for a BBQ by the pool. Oh we are going to pretend that Sherv is dating the blond
beard chick from Australia. Reza tells Mike to hire his friend Destiny to do his party planning. Destiny will be familiar to you if you watched People’s Couch. Destiny will be a friend of Shahs this season.
Reza says that he can’t be around GG at Mike’s party because she “lied” about Reza having a sex tape. Reza you have humiliated EVERYONE on the show except for Asa. You accused GG of not being sick all last year and bullied her to damn death. Bitch, sit down. Mike agrees not to invited GG.
I refuse to recap anything to do with these people vaginas, psuedovaginas or assholes.
Destiny hires hooker to stand around nekkid and twerk with lampshades on their heads. I am not making this up. MJ shows her appreciation for Mike’s new place by humping the couch and humping his bead like a bitch in heat. I am not making this up. It didn’t take long to remind me why I hate this show. These people are just so uncouth.
Asa announces to the group that she is pregnant and reveals her baby bump.This is going to kill MJ and Tommy didn’t come to the party because he wanted to stay home and watch the Mets play. So she will be turning to her friend, tequila. But first, she gives being happy for Asa the good old college try. Then she asks a whole bunch of questions about marriage, and what religion the baby will be, and if she and Jermaine are going to live together. (no, blew off the question, yes). Asa asks when she and Tommy are getting married and MJ tells her about her father’s stroke. MJ gets upset talking about her father. It doesn’t help that she is drinking like a fish. Mike is really nice to MJ.
MJ gets super drunk. Reza grabs MJ and takes her home. MJ tell Reza she wants to have a baby too. There it is. Reza tells her that Adam is in a hurry to have babies too. Reza is hesitant.
Next week: MJ gets wasted again. People begin the season long attack on Asa. They apparently have a problem with her not getting married before the baby comes.