By Guest Contributor Becky J.
Well, I wish I could say this finale special changed the way I feel about Farrah, but it didn’t. If anything, I think she’s even more crazy and dysfunctional than ever. There was so much with Farrah, that I broke my recap into two parts—one for Farrah and another for Tyler and Catelynn.
Dr. Drew asks her about David and her feelings and she gives some canned answer about moving forward with her life and surrounding herself with positive people. She’s clinging to the idea that he’s “hateful” although we have seen no evidence of that. If anything, she’s the one who has acted hateful to him and he’s just withdrawn to avoid her. She tells Dr. Drew that she won’t talk about “irrelevant” people. I guess she means David. He switches gears and asks about her mom. She says everything is fine with her mom. I find this hard to believe, so does Drew. He asks if she would be willing to film with her mom and David and address issues. She says no.
He asks about Simon, saying he heard from Twitter they went to a romantic dinner. She denies that it was “romantic” and describes their relationship as cordial. He asks about her move to California. She says she’s moving back to LA. He brings up the mini horse (yay!) and she gets really snotty and defensive, saying there are a lot of “show mini horses that live all over Los Angeles.” Gaaaawd. I can’t with this bitch. It’s like he’s talking to a brick wall.
Dr. Drew tries to ask about Simon again, saying he was supposed to be there but he demanded $250K and when producers refused, he didn’t show up. Farrah smiles a plastic smile and acts like she doesn’t know anything about it. That smile is freaking creepy. She’s like a demented, melted plastic doll with all that fake blonde weave and botox. She says Simon is none of her business. Drew says sure, but wasn’t Simon just in Jamaica with her for her birthday? She says she can celebrate her damn birthday with friends if she wants. Ahhh.
She says she’s not privy to Simon’s conversations and doesn’t want to hear about it. Drew says but Simon is on the show, she says, “oh was he?” Such a bitch. I guess Simon isn’t coming back for Season 7. Dr. Drew is getting a little frustrated. He’s like, you don’t want to talk about anything. She’s like yeah.
It’s pointless and why isn’t she FIRED already? My professional TV watcher and long-time Teen Mom-fan opinion is they should fire a bunch of these dysfunctional idiots (Farrah, maybe Amber, Cate and Kailyn, for sure Jenelle) and do an awesome new Teen Mom show with just the best girls from TMOG and TM2. The ones who aren’t fucking hideous fame whores and actually want to be good parents and decent human beings. End rant.
Anyway, Farrah turns everything around on Dr. Drew, saying nobody told her she had to be on stage with other people or talk about things that make her uncomfortable (um, hello you’re on a reality TV reunion show for fucksakes). She accuses him of “making and issue” and says the MTV people should have told her the expectations ahead of time, and she might have been “acceptive” of that. Then she says she won’t talk about things that weren’t filmed as part of the show. She says she’s freezing her ass off and makes a comment about controlling the crowd (were they booing?) and stomps off the stage.
Surprise, she comes back. She says she will talk about anything as long as it’s from the season. Dr. Drew asks about David. She says she’s skeptical of him because of her mom’s past boyfriends. Drew asks if there is a chance she’s wrong about him. She avoids this question and says he acts “hateful” by ignoring her to talk to Simon and Sophia. FARRAH, YOU’RE A FUCKING BITCH TO HIM. That’s why he ignores you!
Drew asks she what she meant in her big fight with David on the finale when she said she’s fucked up because she comes from a fucked up family. She doesn’t give him a straight answer. It seems like there’s something else on the tip of her tongue, but she just babbles a bunch of therapy jargon. I wish she would be honest about whatever fucked her up so bad. I know her mom hit her very publicly years ago and she claims to have been sexually assaulted while working in the porn industry, but can we just hear it from her? I want her to give us something tangible that would explain why she’s so twisted. Nothing.
Dr. Drew wants to talk about why she got so angry and stomped off the stage. She agrees. He tells her that it made him feel uncomfortable to be the target of her anger and avoidance. He then equates his feelings to how David must feel around Farrah and says he understands David withdrawing. He points out that Farrah has a distorted perception of David’s distance—she thinks it’s mean and hateful, when it’s actually just self-preservation. She’s not really capable of understanding this.
She says her mom is damaging to her and Sophia’s emotional development and that’s why she limits time with her mom. Drew pushes her to explain why she is so abusive toward her mom. She flips it back on him, saying she’s been on the receiving end of anger and abuse. He probes for details and she gets choked up. He doesn’t push, but continues to talk to her with the assumption that she’s acting out because of some horrible past abuse in her family, probably to do with her mom. He encourages her to talk about it, she doesn’t take the opportunity. I feel like it’s bullshit at this point. Why wont she talk about it? Why wouldn’t she want to come clean about whatever it is so we would understand why she’s such a nightmare? She could use this forum to help other victims of abuse and finally start to move forward in her life instead of being so damn toxic. It’s maddening.
Farrah’s dad Michael comes out and starts crying. I can’t with this. He seems to be owning some of the damage done to Farrah because he and Deb had a horrible relationship. He says he retreated from Deb, so that’s why Farrah has big issues when she feels like David is withdrawing. Here’s the thing: if you understand why you are acting crazy, why don’t you change it? Making a choice to be a messy and dysfunctional adult when you know better is different than being a victimized child. This whole thing makes me want to poke my eyeballs out and shove them in my ears so I never have to watch or hear Farrah again.
Debra and David come out. Dr. Drew tells Deb he feels bad for Farrah. She denies that there was any sort of trauma or abuse in Farrah’s childhood. He tries to address the time when Deb hit Farrah in the car. She gets pretty angry and defensive, leaning over to get in Dr. Drew’s face. David pipes up and tells Dr. Drew Farrah exaggerates. Yuck, stay out of it. Deb gets angrier and says Farrah is the abusive one. David’s body language is all retreat and distance. It’s like he wishes he could disappear. Why doesn’t he?
Dr. Drew says it sounds like Deb is insinuating that Sophia is not safe with Farrah. David leans back in and says that is a question for a child psychologist. No shit. Deb backpedals and says she doesn’t want to “make things worse in her world.” Too late. Farrah is probably never going to speak to her again. Deb says she hasn’t seen Sophia in months and Farrah is alienating herself from everyone. Drew asks David if he will try to repair his relationship with Farrah, David says no, he will avoid her. Then he tries to get in one last dig, saying she doesn’t fight fair. Well, duh. Fuck this guy.
Seriously fuck everyone except Dr. Drew on this first 39 minutes.
Next up, I’ll talk about Tyler and Catelynn and the mysterious case of the hoody pocket full of pills.