By Guest Contributor Becky J.
It’s finally reunion night for RHOP! And it’s a two-parter—I somehow had it wrong and thought it was just one episode (wishful thinking). Since the news of Karen and Ray Huger’s huge IRS lien broke this week, I’ve been extra excited for the reunion. It will be fun to sit back and watch Karen lie.
The theme is “high tea” which, from what I can tell, means everybody wears whatever they want with no attempt to coordinate. The room is eclectic chic, with lots of pink. Andy does his usual reunion open where he goes around the room greeting each woman. He calls Charrisse “Cha-Cha” and jokes about sex in the champagne room. Karen is brimming with fake smiles and bullshit about how much she loves Great Falls. Also her dress really doesn’t fit right up top and it’s making her cleavage look like a toddler’s ass is perched in the middle of her chest. Gizelle has a new man and Ashley says the restaurant is going well, but alludes to some big news about her and Michael.
Oh goody. The first package is about Karen and her house. She tries to turn it into a public service announcement about the “Grand Dame” title. Ashley brings it back to the house, asking her if she sold her house because the kitchen was outdated. Gizelle says she’s hurt that Karen seemed to be hiding the details of her move, especially since they’ve been friends forever. Karen starts spinning lies as fast as she can. She says she decided to move to Great Falls so that her aging parents could have the option of moving in with her since they wouldn’t want to live in Maryland. I guess Great Falls is in Virginia even though it’s only 10 minutes away from Potomac and that would be much more appealing to Karen’s dad, since he’s a farmer. It makes zero sense and we all know why. Because it’s BULLSHIT.
Andy asks Karen if she got a breast reduction. Obviously it’s because he has noticed her boobs look so weird. She has names for her boobs, Tiff and Fifi. Ridiculous. Regarding the rumors about her financial trouble, Karen says that of all the shit-talk and speculation about her situation, she’s most mad about Charrisse bashing her Ray and calling him “The Broke Bill Gates.” She tries to pretend “The Black Bill Gates” was something the ladies in “the hair salon” made up. What?
Andy brings up a Facebook question about how Charrisse slut-shamed Gizelle, calling her a “Monica” not a First Lady. Charrisse says it was a pun. Clearly she is the first lady on earth to have made it through her entire life not understanding the definition of pun. I’m DYING. The conversation devolves into Gizelle and Charrisse accusing each other of being slutty dirty tramps with millions of boyfriends while they were both married. Charrisse is still mad about Gizelle calling her out for having a fireman boyfriend on WWHL, (which she calls “Watch What’s Happenin’ Live” because she’s a fucking moron). This reminds me that we never found out who the man was with Charrisse in the very first scene of the first episode of the season. Hmm…We are introduced to Gizelle’s boyfriend, Sherman, who is in the wings. Charrisse is a hater, so she makes a point to say that she’s friends with his ex-wife. She’s poison.
ICYMI: Charrisse showed up to a RHOA filming last week!
Now we’re talking about Robyn and Juan. Andy asks for a six month update since filming and if they are more together now. She says they sleep together “occasionally” and are on the same page. They roll the footage of Juan saying he would leave her if it weren’t for the boys. She’s super uncomfortable and makes excuses for Juan. She says he just hates filming. Robyn is mad at everybody for talking about Juan having a girlfriend. Ashley reveals that she heard the rumor from a friend of a friend and really believes it. Robyn is looking pathetic, defending Juan and her relationship. After a well-timed viewer comment courtesy of Andy, Robyn yells that she’s FINE.
Andy tries to give Monique some air time but she’s pretty boring. They roll the clip of Gizelle that started the whole feud between them. Gizelle said, “You don’t have a home?” and Monique replied “I have four homes.” Gizelle has hated her ever since. Gizelle pretends she was being nice and had no problem with Monique—as if. Monique makes sure to call Robyn out for being two-faced with her and Gizelle. Good for her.
Andy asks how you outgrow a 9,000 square foot house and Monique defends herself. She also says she hasn’t spoken to her mother-in-law since they bought her a car a year ago. Can’t say I blame her on that one. She also reminds the women that she only raps upon request, then she raps. Karen is mad that Monique’s rhyme calls her out for living so far away, Robyn is mad because the last line is “Robyn’s still talkin’ about Juan.” It’s true! Monique gets a high five from me for reminding Gizelle that trick is a 5 letter word.
We end with Ashley defending her meddling in Robyn’s relationship. A viewer calls out Robyn and Gizelle for coming to Ashley’s restaurant to start shit. They act innocent, but when they break and aren’t officially rolling, Robyn gets all threatening. She says Ashley is lucky the cameras have been around or she would have beaten her ass several times. Yikes. I actually believe her. The misplaced aggression is A LOT. Andy asks the status of Ashley’s relationship and she gives a weird mixed up answer that makes me think maybe she and Michael have been separated. Next week, the husbands come out. The only one who has no role in the stupid drama is Chris. This should be fun!
If Real Housewives Of Atlanta got cancelled I wouldn’t care, this reunion was fire from beginning to end. I live for Monique, Ashley, Gizelle and Robyn.
Even though, I only caught the last 20 mins. I thought the reunion’s decor and fashion was delicate and high-end. Monique’s first reunion look reminds me of Porsha’s first reunion look. It was lighthearted and shady entertainment, (RHOA needs to take note).
BTW: I don’t find Monique boring at all. She is funny, quick-witted, and unafraid of speaking her opinions.
Exactly it was lighthearted shade and not guttersnipe like Atlanta, also Monique was a great addition to the cast and she’s not boring at all.
You win the internet today for this line : “her cleavage look like a toddler’s ass is perched in the middle of her chest.” I laughed out loud. The looked at the picture and laughed out loud again!
It was such an apt description! I had to go back and look at the pic too, but once seen, it can’t be un-seen. Becky J totally nailed it!
Omg yes i went back and looked at the picture. I died. Best line ever.
I kept looking at her chest and saying “what is that?” to myself. Now I know — a toddler’s ass. Perfect!
Living for this description! SO good!
Perfect description!
I did some research on Ray Huger and I could understand the “Black Bill Gates” comparison as related to the IT field. He has had some success in that area. I do hope he is able to take care of his IRS issues and not do anything illegal because Karen wants to pretend she’s wealthy.
Becky J.: Thanks for your concise and funny recap. Thanks to TT for the IRS info. So funny to see Karen spinning the move when all of us now know about the IRS big money issues. I couldn’t get over CHa CHa’s eyelashes. How can she see. She looks half out it most of the time.
The next week with the men will be interesting.
I watched the first episode or two of the first season of this show and never watched again until this reunion.
I will be submitting this recap to the Peabody people or something for the toddler’s butt comment alone.
I really enjoyed this reunion. I thought Monique, Ashley, Karen and Gizelle’s dresses were gorgeous. Karen’s unfortunate boob situation marred her look but the dress was stunning.
I’m starting to think I should be watching the show. Charrisse went straight for Gizelle and her former husband the preacher with the wandering dick. As did, I believe it was Monique wno made the crack about her living off the tithes of church members. I was amazed that Gizelle didn’t really have a comeback for those two truths.
That toddler ass comment…. I bow to the master.
I have noticed that particularly at reunions, Gizelle never really has a comeback. Even in person, Gizelle does not always have a comeback. In her confessionals however, she can rattle off insults like a machine gun. She might want to start taking her script writers along with her wherever she goes, because sitting there with a dumb expression after somebody just read you is not a good look.
LOL, agreed
So true! And she rarely makes sense. Some people get away with not making any sense because of their hilarious delivery (Nene, for example), and others get away with a lack of charisma by being really cutting and detailed with their reads (Phaedra), but Gizelle just babbles insults that she’s copied straight from early seasons of RHOA.
She’s like the really bad tribute act version of Housewives, really.
I love her dress too, but had to go back and look at the boob situation. Damn it!!!
I really enjoy this show. Im starting to tire of some of the other shows and their unbelievabke storylines. Atlanta kind of wiped me out lol. I love this show and the reunion was exactly what i expected to be. I love the addition of Monique and i hope sbe and the show come back next season. Its classy with just enough shade for my liking.
I don’t get the hate for Karen on the house/money front. It seems to me she wants to protect her husband from extra bullshit stemming from her attention whor…uh filming RHOP.
He’s going through some misery and having to do it in front of the whole damn country is an extra fuck you from the gods.
My wife is the breadwinner and I don’t really give a damn what our worth is. When she lost her contract a few years back and we went through our savings you’re goddamn right I never said a damn thing about our extraordinarily fucked financial situation. It was hell on earth for her to be unable to fulfill what she considered her main responsibility. She puts a lot of her self worth in her role of providing. I wanted to and did protect her in anyway I could.
Karen is an obnoxious old over the top old Grand Dame, but don’t kick the bitches husband while he’s down. We as a nation were eatin’ shit sammiches and turd burgers on the economics front not all that long ago.
THIS is the best comment on this thread! I totally agree! I wouldn’t have told the a damn thing either!
*Them* I actually proofread the comment and still missed that error until the split second AFTER I hit ‘POST COMMENT’! Lol!
I agree, as they would still be bitching and talking behind Karen’s back.
Yes to this!
The reunion gave me life!!!
This reunion made the whole damn season worth it!!
I thought all the girls dressed well (Ashley was best-dressed).
Monique slayed everyone at the reunion. Damn, that girl came prepared to throw Down! I spat out my drink at her church comment to Gizelle.
I’m super disappointed in Robyn. I liked her so much at the start of this season – she’s honest about her money troubles, and I don’t think the situation with her and Juan is so unusual. Lots of marriages limp to a slow finish rather than a big implosion, especially with kids involved, so I don’t judge her for it.
But she’s really ended those good feelings, for me – first, there was the two-faced stuff with Monique (which I had missed somehow up until now), then the lack of remorse for the ambush at Ashley’s business, then the hard-to-watch meltdown (“I’m FINE!”), and finally that threatening faux-ghetto girl nonsense at the end about beating Ashley. She’s not the pleasant, amiable character I thought at all.
Ashley and Monique remain least irritating for me. They’re both super honest and open, and I only hope Bravo doesn’t turn either of them into the next Porsha. If Ashley’s fragile marriage ends, I can see the hints of a gold-digging past that would be horrible to see on camera if she was dating again, so I hope she can work it out with the emu-eater.
Because I just read the recaps, I was shocked by Robyn since you guys all seem to like her so much, She was straight up hood with her threats of physical violence on Ashley. I thought Ashley came off looking honest and sweet and Robyn came off looking like an idiot.
Totally agree with you TT.
I am LIVING for Ashleys reaction facial expressions.
I kind of wanna be her friend.
Emu-eater – ha! Love it. Ashley’s definitely my favorite but Monique impresses me with her ability to give back in spades. She’s not easily intimidated.
Robyn’s taken a big slide back for me, too. Am I the only one noticing that she seems very masculine, with her deep voice and aggressive demeanor? I’d watch my back if I were Ashley.
Gizelle’s talking heads are great. She does make me laugh!
I’ve enjoyed this Housewives franchise — very shady and entertaining. It’s the only one I’m watching, along with Southern Charm.
Yes she’s very masculine.
Juan won’t leave until those boys are 18….. He doesn’t want to pay child support. He’s living off Robyn. It’s clear he doesn’t want to be with Robyn romantically. I’m sure he does have a side piece
Unfortunately I know a lot of men like Juan. Only staying because they don’t want to pay child support and/or don’t want to see another man raising their children if the woman remarries. My cousin’s husband dumped her after 19 years of marriage for those very reasons. And he had been cheating on her for at least the last 12 years of their marriage to boot.
Loved this recap and the reunion was good.
I think Monique was best dressed and Ashley was a close 2nd. Gizelle was pretty and I liked Karen’s dress it simply didn’t belong on her. I thought the reunion was the best Charrisse looked all season.
Monique was well prepared for her 1st reunion. Girl obviously did her home work and anyone who can leave Gizelle speechless deserves an award.
Ashley is a pot stirrer but she holds her own so I’m not mad at her and she receives the best shade of the night award with the comment about Karen moving because of her kitchen.
Karen didn’t do her husband any favors with the IRS with her “Black Bill Gates” nonsense! I will never understand why people like her, the Guidices, the Kemsley’s and others do these shows?!
I suffered 2nd hand embarrassment for Robyn and her misplaced aggression towards Ashley and anyone else who dares to speak the truth about her pathetic situation. Yes it’s her business but if she doesn’t want to discuss it then she shouldn’t bring that sad business to a reality t.v. show. If she and Juan are acting for the cameras because of their financial situation then she is not being paid enough to look that foolish!
Charrisse is just a terrible person, Just an awful human being. I mean like Phaedra Parks levels of awful.
She truly makes me want to vomit. In the words of the illustrious Iyanla VanZant, she’s a nasty, vile guttersnipe, straight up out the hood.
And I totally believe she has a boyfriend or 3 as Karen previously stated. She’s just lying until her divorce settlement is finalized, if it ever happens.
LOL! nasty, vile guttersnipe, straight up out the hood!
I soooo wanted Andy to bring up the tax issues with Karen last night on WWHL. I suppose I should give Andy props for having a little class, but Karen’s lies at the reunion were just so obvious. At least try to make up something a little more extravagant. Not Vicki Gunvalson over-the-top, but don’t insult us with some nonsense about your elderly, farmer Dad.
My random thoughts:
1) Why did Andy finish his “hellos” with Ashley? Geography of those coaches didn’t justify it
2) Karen was REALLY off. Her reactions were over dramatic and she acted like someone really hiding something. Well, we all know why, but her behavior was so obvious
3) Real Robyn came out this season. Her final comments were really surprising for me. Ashley is lucky the cameras have been around or she would have beaten her ass?? Really? Robyn claims to be the open and honest one, but it looks like she is the fake one (sorry Karen, you have been dethroned)
4) In general i find RHOP reunion much better than RHOA or RHOBH
#1 threw me off too but I figure he probably forgot to like he did to Kristen on FOR. They could have just edited that he forgot that out so he doesn’t continuously look like a fool
VPR* not FOR
Lest we forget, Robyn went for Ashley last year and threatened her for gossiping about her and Juan’s bankruptcy. Robyn is still Robyn, we just got a larger snippet of how she can quickly spin out of control and go all corner store bully!
As someone who grew up in the area, there is a HUGE difference between living in MD or VA, the Potomac does more than just separate them. Hell, Virginia doesn’t even call itself a state, its a commonwealth.
Virginia is much more laid back. It’s where your lineage counts more than money, but if you have money then thats a bonus. Maryland may be below the Mason Dixon line, but to the older set, Virginia is the start of the ‘real’ south.
Must have been a while since you’ve been here then. Virginia is far wealthier than Maryland. Potomac has been steadily losing its luster since about the time they created North Potomac.
I was born and raised within 10 miles of both sides of the Potomac. I have family on both sides still. Family history and lineage counts for more in Virginia than anything.
Lineage, the majority of the people in the DMV are not from this area. It’s about real estate for the non-natives. Potomac is extremely prestigious, as are parts of Northern Virginia. The whole area is outrageously priced
Thanks as always Becky J for a great recap. After reading it, I just knew watching I wouldn’t be able to see anything except a toddler ass. Proved true, lol.
I think Karen seems on the verge of a breakdown. I feel bad for her. She really is acting a bit frantic. That’s why I never understand living a life that can be taken away for not being authentic.
Or I guess not living legally. However.
“… it’s making her cleavage look like a toddler’s ass is perched in the middle of her chest.”
– as already stated, well done!
The set looked like the inside of a Pepto-Bismol bottle.
Karen should have come better prepared. She was a horror show.