I’m bit bit behind getting started on Big Brother this season. Things have been super busy here the last couple of weeks. Then I took some much-needed time off for a birthday staycation. I am just having a bit of time to get caught up with the new housemates.
So far, this crowd looks, um interesting. I have not signed up for the feeds yet to see the interviews. I may try to do that later tonight. Right now, I am still in staycation mode watching a really good Lifetime movie.
Raven Walton (Recruit)
Hometown: DeValls Bluff, AR
Current city: DeValls Bluff, AR
Occupation: Dance teacher
Small but surprisingly athletic. Likes to cook and plans to feed the house. Her favorite former hamster is The Brother Who Shall Not Be Named. So for that alone I hate her. Has some tragic story (and I’m not talking about her stupid hair) that requires a “pacemaker in her stomach.”
Ramses Soto (Superfan)
Hometown: Grand Rapids, MI
Current city: Grand Rapids, MI
Occupation: Cosplay artist
Despite his quirky whackadoodleness, he is a super fan and Dan Gheesling is his favorite hamstere. Nice choice. He has a decent strategy. Plans to rely on social game and secret alliance and wait til the end to show he can win HOH. I have hope for this one.
Hometown: Boston, MA
Current city: Boston, MA
Occupation: Stay-at-home dad
Fun facts about Kevin:
– I was Mr. Massachusetts in 1986
– I have a birthmark in my eye
– I was on The Geraldo Rivera Show and won a hunk contest
– I was the dunk champion for the city of Boston in 1981
– I come from a family of seven children and I have seven childre
An elderly drug dealer nicknamed The Cheese was sentenced yesterday to a decade behind bars for trafficking large amounts of cocaine from his West Roxbury home throughout the 1990s.
Andrew F. Schlehuber, 69, (ALLEGEDLY KEVIN’s DADDY) was ordered by Suffolk Superior Court Judge Raymond Brassard to serve 10 years in state prison, the state’s minimum mandatory sentence for trafficking cocaine in excess of 100 grams.
I try to root for the older hamster, but his guy may end up being a masshole who talks too much. Kevin’s mama was acquitted on a one count related charge.
Hometown: Miami, FL
Current city: Homestead, FL
Occupation: Haircare sales
Please god don’t let this be the token gay guy. He’s a self proclaimed liar who wants to be naked on TV. NOE.
Hometown: Cranston, RI
Current city: Los Angeles, CA
Occupation: VIP concierge
She seems like a girl who wants to or has just completed a um, yacht tour. Tons of modeling photos. Spoiler alerts, models usually go out fourth. Is that the curse? I forget. The male fans both straight and gay are drooling, she seems like a nice girl who wants to earn fast money, I predict she falls in Hamster Love and is dicked in the end with no lube.
Hometown: Lynchburg, VA
Current city: Raleigh, NC
Occupation: Fitness superstar
Fun facts about Christmas:
– First female in NASCAR Sprint Cup pit crew member
– National best-selling book author, who just released a second book
– CrossFit Games athlete
– Two-time Iraq contractor
– I love being creepy
She could be a contender. The girls may hate her rather than try to ally with her though. Her favorite player is Helen, and while she was good, she wasn’t able to bond with the girls on a her season and was seen as playing all sides. Because she was. wasn’t. something. She didn’t win. She will be a competition beast. So that will appeal to the other women in the house to ally with her. Or take her out.
Hometown: Grand Island, NY
Current city: Grand Island, NY
Occupation: Personal trainer
Body builder, dramatic weight loss, wants to get laid in the house. BRENDON is is favorite hamster. BRENDON. Dear God. Send him home first.
Hometown: Tuskegee, AL
Current city: Woodbridge, VA
Occupation: Government engineer
Smart, mature, educated bible thumper…claims a superfan but was unable to name her favorite former hamster. That puts her at a disavantage if she has never seriously watched the show. Who was that one black girl who prayed a lot that one season and some guy played for her when she was sick? She’s that girl. But smarter. Wildcard. Also the only black girl in the house. Question mark?
Jason Dent Recruit!
Hometown: Humeston, IA
Current city: Humeston, IA
Occupation: Rodeo clown
Um… favorite hamster was James Huling, because he was dumb but made it really far. At least he has a good role model. Then he says he has never seen the show, so we know what episodes he was shown in sequester. His “cowboy hat” looks like Mickey Mouse ears, which he has to know. If he is the gay guy, I’m down. Goes by the nickname of Whistle Nut. Sigh. I am finding all of this out as spend painstaking hours to finally get this up knowing most your you don’t care. I need the visual guide for recapping. I’m exhausted but not done.
Hometown: Celebration, Fl.
Current City: Las Vegas, Nev.
Occupation: Timeshare Sales Rep
Wait? Timeshare is still a thing? Didn’t everyone already learn that lesson? She may be a superfan. She says she likes Danielle Denato or whatever the actual Evil Dick last name is. Had Lap band surgery in January and has lost a lot of weight. Already getting the beatdown online. For her sake I hope she goes early. People are mean.
Oh wait, she is asking for it. She’s a Youtube. This is before the lapband when she was 20. I blame Kim Kardashian for ruining young women.
THIS ONE COULD BE THE NEXT DANIELLE MURPHREE! If you missed that post GO NOW!
Alex Ow (recruit!)
Hometown: Thousand Oaks, CA
Current city: Camarillo, CA
Occupation: Eco-friendly marketing rep
Okay I am fading fast but this may be my pony. I like her. And she is lucky. The bad news is she is a total recruit and thinks she is going to fuck her way to the top. In my opinion. She did not say that. She might get along well with Jessica, the other um, yacht lover.
Hometown: Lake Mills, IA
Current city: Plano, TX
Occupation: Construction sales rep
– I can solve a Rubik’s cube in less than a minute
– I have never worn a suit
– I have never worn cologne
– I have never taken a selfie
– I have never been offended—not once
A surfer from Texas??? Single dad looking for a mama for his baby? Evel Dick fan? Seems like a douche with potential? But not a winner.
Hometown: Arlington, Va.
Current City: Arlington, Va.
Occupation: Renovation Consultant
– I’ve been naked in the Planet Hollywood Las Vegas hotel lobby
– I’m seriously the only person who really took 21 shots on their 21st birthday
Cameron Heard (Superfan!)
Hometown: North Aurora, IL
Current city: Woodridge, IL
Cameron Heard token nerd. I wish I had thought of that, but it’s mostly my friends (and mortal enemies) at Sucks who came up with that. I don’t mind sending you the link individually, but I spent over a decade there learning how to be the death and cancer wishing horrible person that I am and you will become one to if you go there.
Cameron is a clear front runner. Ian is his favorite. He is the second guy to say he can solve a Rubik’s cube quickly and is great at chess. I hope to see the showdowns between these two. I am a HUGE Cameron fan for now.
Hometown:Cathedral City, CA
Current city: Phoenix, AZ
Occupation: Dog walker
The entire Harry Potter series, so I would have something awesome to read when we have way too much down time
My laptop, so I can play Minecraft
My dogs. I don’t know how I’m going to get by without them!Fun facts about Megan:
I can swear in five different languages, including Bosnian, German, French, Spanish, and English
I’ve seen every episode of South Park and I can quote most episo
It took me a while to figure out who I missed as my number 16… It was Elena!
Hometown: Fort Worth, TX
Current city: Dallas, TX
Occupation: Radio personality
– My dad brought a Longhorn steer into my dorm room
– I took a spontaneous trip to Colorado to a music festival by myself
– I swam with dolphins
– I got a breast reduction
Okay I know BB makes people dye their hair, but Elena is the third gray haired person on the show. I want a gray haired alliance!
Okay, this post literally took me four plus hours to finish. I did it on my staycation. Because I know most of my readers don’t care. But all I care about this summer is Big Brother. Everything else is work that disrupts how much I love Big Brother. So here we go, the few the proud the Big Brother fans.
I CAN’T WAIT!
If there are any newbies out there, the show premieres on Wednesday on CBS and will run on Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday nights all summer. For maximum enjoyment, sign up for the CBS live feeds. I’ve been commenting on this since BB 13 here. Just put Big Brother into my search box.
This is literally my favorite thing ever and if y’all don’t watch with me, I will spend a lot of time other places commenting there. I will also be on the live feeds as Tamara Tattles in some form a lot of folks there last season started rooms trying to be me. I am not making this up. lol See you there.
There are several um, professional er,,, hostesses, three grey haired ones, quite a few extreme weight loss people, and several nerds. I feel like there are four teams, the old fucks, the paid for sex ALLEGEDLY fucks, the former fat fucks, and the smart as fucks.
So there is that.
EDITED FOR THE RETARDS
TEAM OLD AS FUCK
TEAM SMART AS FUCK
TEAM I WANNA FUCK
TEAM FORMERLY FAT AS FUCK
You know what, I am going to let you figure that all out. Seems pretty simple to me.