I’m excited about this episode but it is way too late for me to be recapping so this will go out some time tomorrow. My screen is paused on Andy Cohen in his opening. Does he have no one to help him dress himself? EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.NIGHT. This dude’s tie competes with his wonky eye for the “Who’s The Wonkiest?” contest. Andy’s is ALWAYS off center to the right. Every single fucking show. He’s also had some sort of a barber mishap.
Clearly, Andy is already trashed. This is good. He will let his inner misogyny out. Not that I want him to do it to Kathryn, but I love when he exposes his real self. I still cling to hope, six years later y’all will stop watching this misogynistic channel.
Oh my. Kathryn has cut and dyed her hair. Her hair was gorgeous and now it is… not. She is also in a long sleeve green sequined minidress that Andy makes her stand up to show off. This is already not starting well. Then Andy makes her say where she got it. She says, “H & M, thirty dollars.” Oh fuck you already Andy Cohen. She’s trashed and looks like a two dollar hooker and you are exploiting her at the one minute mark.
After a long nauseating montage of Travis and Landon, Kathryn says all of that is funny to her. Andy wants us to know that there is a court order that forbids her from talking about Thomas or the custody agreement. So really this show will be pointless other than to point out how out of it she appears to be.
85% of the audience thinks Landon was wrong for going on a Valentines trip with Thomas. Frankly, I just think it is odd that she has no one to date on Valentines day other than Kathryn’s left overs.
65% of the audience say she and Thomas should never get back together. Kathryn says she loves that response.
90% thinks that Landon’s apology was fake. Kathryn says that makes her feel vindicated.
Andy asks Willie a ton of hot topics questions and one is about the hot felon whose mugshot landed him a modeling gig. Andy says he loves a hot criminal. Apollo could have told us that. Allegedly.
Kathryn is asked what she was thinking by ordering a margarita on camera. She claims she ended up not drinking the drink at all. Um, PUHLEASE. What about the drinks at Aqua. Does she think we didn’t see her drunk at the restaurant and hungover the next morning? Or that we didn’t see video and comments from the people at Aqua? She is like Phaedra believing her own lies. She has to have seen the episode. And now she is saying that she was just playing the group a bit and never drank a drop. Oh please. Read this link. I was way kinder to Kathryn then than I would be now. I heard SO MUCH about that trip. Allegedly.
After the break, Andy has yanked his tie even harder to the right. IT DRIVES ME INSANE.
Once AGAIN Andy makes allegations that Craig is gay. Even if he is gay, this makes Andy scum. Then he plays a scene from next week where Shep is an asshole and Craig retaliates. How in the hell is that Craig hitting on Shep? I get he is trying to work everyone up for the reunion filming tomorrow, but why be the dick instead of the moderator? Oh yeah, I forgot, it’s all about Andrew.
Kate Chastain is drunk again tonight and tweets that Kathryn looks amazing. And well she does, just not in a good way. Someone asks Kathryn, Shep or Austen? She says Shep.
I can’t with the uniformed callers who wonder if Naomie and Craig stay together. Yes, yes they do and the fights are mostly bullshit, The “counseling” is complete bullshit.
A caller asks if Kathryn would get along with Landon if there were no men in the picture. She says she doesn’t know if she would get along, but she’s “not interested in a friendship per se.”
Kathryn says she is not modeling.
There was a weird game all about Andy. Go figure.
Willie says Kathryn looks like Emma Stone. Kathryn says she’s gotten that before. HEAVY SIGH.
A caller asks Kathryn if she regrets how her conversation with Jennifer went during their first scene after she had given birth to a child that she knew had a high probability of dying. Kathryn was like, nah.
Andy’s MAZEL was the guy who was sent home on The Bachelor last night who was a frequent low rent guest on Andy’s show. I haven’t watched yet, and thanks for spoiling us Andrew. However, good for that guy who went from being treated like a whore by you in one of your ratchet dick dangling games with an audience of MAYBE 400,000 people if you are lucky, to a show with a big audience! Maybe he will get better gigs.
His Jackhole went to another bachelor he felt “stole Tom D’Agostino’s grab them by the neck move. It was nothing like that and he was just being the wonky eyed cunt he is.