I am excited for tonight’s episode because the group is going to Saint Simon’s Island where Hannah’s daddy has a house. I lived on SSI for two years and have been looking at houses down there for a while. In my mind I am moving to either SSI or Charleston just as soon as I (insert a list of a million things here). But that Southern Charm episode was so good, it took me two hours just to pound out a messy version of events. So forgive me if I skim the surface of this one. I don’t have as much background knowledge about this crazy group that I do with the CHS crowd. Hell I can’t even tell them apart.
Catherine seems to have stolen Nelson’s narrator job right out from under them unless they are all testing for the part. I know Cameran gets a pretty penny for that job on Southern Charm.
OMG! OMG! It’s Georgia/Florida weekend. That is why they are going to stay at Hannah’s Dad’s house. I hope they have tickets and we get to see the game! Sorry. GO YOU HAIRY DAWGS! Not sorry. Louis is planning the party. Hannah seems to think that Louis is not going to go Full Lou and there will not be any drama. IT’S GEORGIA FLORIDA WEEKEND, Hannah! You know what that means. The world’s largest outdoor cocktail party! OMG ten frames later Nelson informs us of that. I don’t think he even went to Georgia. GO DAWGS! SIC EM WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! Sorry. Not sorry. No matter how old you get you are always 21 (on paper) when it comes to this game. That said, I don’t remember who wins. Because, early onset dementia (alcohol related).
On the drive down, Ashley says her family has a beach house on Saint Simons in case things go bad. Spoiler! Things will go bad. In Catherine’s car on the ride down, we find out Ashley was drunk and disorderly in Savannah the night before.
Oh Hannah’s dad and his new wife are going to be at the house. Awkward. Hannah is close to her stepmom…in age only.
This is where I make another confession. I find my self saying “Who said that?” in my Porsha Williams voice often. So I am typing as fast as I can because I am already over an hour behind when some piece of shit says, “Cheers to Georgia losing today?” and I pause the tape and say rewind while saying, “Who said dat?” Louis is a piece of shit. Why are the doing shots out of airplane bottles? When I lived in South Carolina bars could only serve drinks from airplane bottles in bars. True story. Did someone rob a crate of Crown Royal from a Delta dock? If so, good for them. It’s the first decent drink these fools have had all season. 
Hannah is mad at Louis, Hannah’s dad thinks Louis is an idiot. They don’t have tickets for the game that is literally two hours away. Or 12 on Georgia Florida day, but still. I wanted to go! This episode is starting to disappoint.
The girls talk about Ashley and her behavior which apparently includes punching out the window on some random person’s door. Sorry I got distracted. I’m simultaneously ushering people to the WLS to maintain your reading pleasure at TT. When Ashley shows up she has a bandaged hand.
How the hell does Hannah not know how to shotgun a beer. She even calls it chugging a beer. DEAR GOD WOMAN DID YOU GO TO GEORGIA OR NOT? And why is it that Hannah and Ashley are the only ones in red? I give a pass to the ones in black, but come on. Y’all are doing this all wrong!
Georgia lost 24-10. It was a shitty season anyway. Oh now I remember. I stop watching. At least we beat the fucking gamecocks.
(un)Happy wants to talk to Ashley about why she is always fighting with Hannah. Because is (un)Happy even on this show? We have reached the point where the girls have realized that filming with Ashley is the only way to get any camera time. Ashley may be a hot mess, but she is the Kathryn of Southern Charm Savannah. That said, if the winner of this fight is who has the best statement necklace? That coral necklace of (un)Happy’s takes the win! (un)Happy goes for some really low blows with Ashley, proving how unhappy she really is. She makes Ashley cry. It seems that the broken window incident was the result of one of her neighbors bullying Izzy, her son. She feels like despite marrying Dennis and trying to keep the family together, she still has to be both mom and dad when it comes to situations like this with Izzy. Now we’ve gone to a sad place.
Oh look! A pool! Time for Ashley to get nekkid. See, the problem is, it’s not really a pool, it’s a fountain. But that doesn’t stop the crazy. Everyone ends up getting thrown in. Even Nelson who “didn’t bring the appropriate apparel for the ‘pool’.” Nelson is straight by the way. I thought I would point that out since we are half way into the show and no one has mentioned it.
The boys walk to Rafters soaking wet. When I taught college in Brunswick and lived on SSI there were basically two bars. The one that was almost acceptable for me to go to which was kind of like a TGIF sort of place but not. And Rafters where the bad shit happened. Occasionally while at the grown up bar ( I was in my thirties) my students would show up in large groups and send me drinks. Even less occasionally, they would drag me to Rafters. I shall discontinue my stories at this point to say, he wasn’t one of MY students. This caused a lot of gossip. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Enough about my bad decisions at Rafters, let’s talk about the guys. They do card HARD at Rafters. Because, bad things. The first bad thing that happens is a very drunk Louis and a very drunk Hannah’s dad are bonding and Hannah’s daddy says (on national television!) that he was never in love with Hannah’s mother. He also tells Louis not to force it if his feelings are not there for Hannah. It’s better to just walk away. OMG. This is horrible. It’s bad enough to be on reality TV looking like a douche on your own. But having your DAD do it, is just fucking wrong. Wronger. The Wrongest.
Meanwhile back at the house the girls take care of a very drunk Ashley. This makes me happy. Even though she pukes on the couch.
The next morning, Louis, Catherine and Hannah wake up in the same bed trying to recall events of the prior evening. Then Daniel comes to get into bed next to Louis. How big is this bed? I need it! Daniel slept on the couch with Ashley making sure she didn’t die until she took off about 7 am for home.
Ashley and Nelson rode home together and she looks amazingly together.
Hannah tells Louis that her Dad said he had a great conversation with Louis. Apparently, he want Louis to tell her the situation. Louis says that the conversation was private between the two of them. He doesn’t want to be the one to tell her. Everyone leaves except Hannah and Louis.
Hannah and her dad have a talk on the porch. Hannah cries to her dad. She thinks the conversation was about how Louis needs to step up his role in their relationship and not expect her to pull all the weight. She cries. Hannah’s dad seems to be trying to sabotage her relationship with Louis.
Back in Savannah, Daniel has is own dramatic conversation with his father. His father did a year in prison for white collar crimes and Daniel was left to provide for the family and clean up the mess. Daniel doesn’t like living in Savannah because of his father’s reputation. He needs to go somewhere else. He wants to follow his own dreams.
Ashley goes to get a tattoo from her sister-in-law. Apparently her brother is just as out there as she is. This is all very Ashley. I judge people with tattoos. I do not like them. Then, I saw Ashley’s hand of Fatima tattoo, and my first thought was, I WANT THAT. Maybe… it is my birthday week…so..who know? It could happen!
But enough of my bad decisions. Ashley talks about her situation with Dennis. Ashley got a cartoon praying mantis. Perhaps I should not take my tattoo inspiration from her.
I do not believe anything about this relationship with Catherine and Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile.
Next week is the finale of this show too. I was just starting to like it. DAYUM. WWHL will have to happen in the morning. It’s already after midnight. I pray that if there is a season two they don’t have them both on the same damn night!
Tamara, Tamara, how I have missed your web site! Been very tied up with caregiving for my husband, plus some bastard stole my computer out of my car, and haven’t been able to afford another one as good yet. Am just really getting into Savannah – poor Ashley, she’s so deprived of love and attention by that cold fish husband of hers that she has to go flashing herself around randomly, trying to prove she’s still attractive. I feel sorry for her – she needs to get a guy who makes her feel loved. Thank God for all these shows, they’ve helped me keep my sanity, at least as close to it as I normally get.
Good wishes to you, Rose. I hope you hit a long streak of really good luck soon, including winning a great lappie!
Thanks for the recap. I think Hannah & Louis love each other, but are they right for each other? He’s a Peter Pan type who will never grow up. She’s drawn to his fun, spontaneous side, but needs someone who is more dependable. They’re the Naomi & Craig of Savannah. I agree about Catherine & Lyle. Is that even a real relationship? She’s almost as annoying as Landon. And Ashley is mesmerizing. How did she not look hungover on the drive home? Damn!
My dad used to say that to me… “Damn, I used to be a functioning alcoholic and I NEVER looked as fresh faced as you after a binge. The whites of your eyes are clear as day and you look ready for anything!”
Top tip, dad. I’m still drunk.
This was a great episode! Thanks for the recap, TT!!
I can’t believe the finale is next week either. I truly feel for Ashley. She is the bright spot on this show. She is so misunderstood and deserves to be with a strong man that loves and supports her unconditionally. Okay, I almost got sick when she threw up. I’m glad Hannah and Catherine took care of her, but it sucked when they made fun of her and Daniel sleeping on the couch together.
Yes, Hannah and Louis are the Craig and Naomi of Savannah. Hannah is going to be devastated when she hears her Father’s confession to Louis.
I think Ashley’s praying mantis tattoo has a darker meaning. Female PMs often (but not always) cannibalize their mate after the deed is done. Maybe that’s what she wishes she’d done with her husband, maybe I’m just twisted and projecting.
So, it’s episode 7, and I still have no idea which one is which. Couldn’t name em by looks, or by looks know they’re names. Keep thinking tall blond is Emily. I don’t know why. Just can’t get into. Maybe if I binge all episodes, I can figure out who is who. If that Oklahoma show (never seen past one episode) is being renewed, guess should plan on this one as well. Thanks for recap TT.
Like can Happy like not talk like that?
These are the least appealing people on any of the Bravo shows that I watch. Part of the problem is that they are too young to be interesting. An older cast would have some good Savannah tea and culture. I agree with TT that Savannah itself needs to be a character in this show; it’s a shame it’s not.
None of the couples are believable. They would have done better to mix together some singles and see what shook out. 🙂
They could build a new cast around Ashley. I don’t find her likeable or fashionable, plus I feel sorry for her–and that’s not what I want to watch on TV, but she’s at least got a spark of a personality.
I can’t follow any of these people but felt the need to say:
Who’s that coming down the track?
It’s the mean machine in red and black –
Ain’t nothing finer in the land,
than a drunk, obnoxious Georgia fan!
We had nothing if not class, that’s for sure.
TT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK !!! May it be a great year for you, and thanks very much for all the bright ,interesting thinking you bring our way, and all the crazies that make us laugh.
I’ve had a lot going on this year, some of it pretty tough to deal with, and this site has succeeded where little else has- in getting my mind on other things, and getting me laughing when I needed to be distracted. It has been much appreciated.
For all our opening comments about the Savannah show , I am truly sorry to see both Southern shows end so quickly- both are just now coming to life, and will be missed. I have loved coming home on Mondays to have both to enjoy – while one had mostly younger players, there was a lovely influence of older, sane, gracious Southern women- the bridge ,cotillion, and other references to life from the past were great additions and thoughtful. The contrast of the boisterous, needy, lost soul Ashley is too much, they need a better choice than this hell cat always looking for a fight and a man whose attention she can draw. Hannah, her sisters, Dad, and the Louie story are just emerging as attractive and complex-but more real. Happy’s story has potential but she needs to allow herself to develop on screen or be gone. Same with her guy . Katherine and Lyle follow an old Southern family pattern, don’t they? The question, to me, is whether they grow into real people who live honest lives and stop just following the old family patterns, without substance.
I still do not really understand Ashley’s pique about Happy also being interested in fashion yet not consulting with her — even though Happy is a would-be designer and Ashley is kind of a stylist/art director, if I’m following this all correctly.
But then again, I’ve come to realize that often when Bravo people seem to make a mountain out of a molehill, it often has to do with the invisible dynamics of the show — as in, Ashley thinks it would have made for a better storyline for them to do “fashion” together, or Happy being in fashion will take away from her own role on the show, or…… something.
I kind of am getting to like this show a little. Some of the people are still a little hard to warm up too but some are growing on me. Is it me or do these seasons seem to be going very quickly? I notice it with NY and now both the Charms. Not thinking I am looking forward to the Bravo summer shows unless MDL boys will see us through.
I don’t understand Ashley’s reasoning about alot of things She seems to wallow in the drama pool but she isn’t very good at it. Seems there is some issues yet to be revealed there. I think that is the same for a few of these people.
I feel absolutely sick for Hannah to find out about what her Father said on National TV. Sick for her lovely Mom too. That is absolutely horrid. He could have given them a heads up too because he seemed to remember quite a bit of other parts of the conversation. That just broke my heart for them. What a dirt bag. I sure hope Louis isn’t “as like” her Dad as she thinks he is. Seems like they did a good job of covering up the fact that it wasn’t a loving relationship. There was nothing wrong with her Dad trying to give him advice but to come out with that particular advice on TV was horrible.
Its like a show of Landons. Dull, boting, whiny and fake! Hannah is pretty though. Catherine and her dude (no idea name) have zero chemistry. And happy is annoying as fuck!
Catherine & Lyle zero chemistry for sure! Is this real or just part of the Bravo script? All they do is talk about how great it is to be in the same city & not in a long distance relationship, but she looks miserable & he looks bored. Her voice is as annoying as fuck! She & Landon should start a website & call it “Dolphin”.
I’m having a thought as I’m watching this. It’s like just people watching or watching people at a party where you don’t know anyone. They aren’t characters, like we’re so used to on these shows. I can’t describe anyone except the blond.Tall blond.
Ooh, and Nelson her friend. I have no idea who works where, who is with who, nothing.
Hate to say, I only can name three of the players in this show. Ashley; Nelson and Daniel. The rest should be in the discard pile and reshuffle the deck.
Aww yes, Daniel’s ass. Lol. Thanks for saying that I really thought it was me. 🙂
Ahem – Daniel “slept” on the couch with Ashley to watch over her? Ha
He wasn’t your student, eh TT? Mmm hmm. 😉
HE WASN’T He was fully literate and I taught Developmental Studies Reading. It was kind of a huge scandal though. 🙂 SSI is rich families and college students. I had to get it SOMEWHERE! lol
Rich AND literate? Jackpot.
I only have one comment – Nelson’s dancing at the bar – the knee bend shuffle. Hilarious and cringy at the same time!
I love that you used to live in Glynn County!! I’ve been in Brunswick for 9 years after living on SSI for 13 years, right down the street from Rafters & the Village. I was also watching closely to see who was cheering for UGA and who was trashing them. The SC Sav people make me roll my eyes but I enjoyed this episode since it was filmed where I live. Rafters was probably the only bar in the Village that allowed the cameras…but I would have loved to see them hanging out at Brogen’s. Go DAWGS…hopefully this season won’t be as painful as last year.
Great and fun recap, TT! As a Florida Girl, we call that event in Jax the Florida-Georgia game, not vice versa. Definitely the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party with genteel folk from the rival teams socializing in a non-homicidal way 😀
Why do these girls all sound LIKE California wanna be’s? I thought this was the south…I came close to shutting it off because my brain started counting the Likes. Even Hanna’s dad used the filler word (Judge Judy’s term for it) ugh
Before I forget to ask, what skin product do you think Ashley uses to get that glowy look? Does she spray something on her face before filming? Or moisturize with Crisco? ?