Despite reporting about this trip live as it happened, for some reason. I thought the finale was in New Orleans. These trips just all blur together for me. I cannot believe it is time for the finale. All the charming and not so charming folks have headed to the big apple. But some have been a lot better behaved than others when it comes to the days leading up to this trip. So you don’t want to miss that last link. Also, Kathryn will be on WWHL tonight. I am looking forward to that, but I hope that these back to back Southern Charm recaps don’t wear me out before I can watch it. Monday nights are long hard recaps and usually for some reason, sources are flooding my inbox at the same time. So I’ll try to get WWHL up tonight but it will not post until after midnight because this episode of Southern Charm has an extra 15 minutes.
I am curious to see if they show Kathryn drinking. I mentioned that she definitely got wasted with everyone else down in Key West on last week’s recap. That resulted in multiple anonymous sources saying that Kathryn was not sober when she started filming. She seemed kind of drunk in her blue dress confessionals last week so I will be paying attention to that as well. Someone told me that K. Cooper Ray’s snapchat during the last episode mentioned my observation and called Kathryn Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sounds like those two have not made up. 🙁
Craig Conover has been my favorite this season. I love that he is monogramming baby clothes for Cameran before she even gets pregnant. She said she was heading to the reunion half way through her pregnancy. So she’s about five months pregnant which means she probably got pregnant in January. This was filmed in December. Craig is one of the few of these fools that is still fun to watch.
Apparently, Cameran got through to Shep about how awful his comments and actions toward Chelsea were last seek. So he goes to nervously apologize to Chelsea. He still doesn’t get it. His apology consists of saying that he doesn’t want her to feel like he thinks of her as the type of girl who he should be behaving that way with. In other words, he still feels entitled to kiss and grope and push himself on women, but only certain kinds of women. He is really bad at this. Chelsea’s response that he made her feel like one of those kinds of girls was equally awful. You see, it is not the girls behavior we are discussing here. It is Shep’s. And his “I should not have done that to you, but there are plenty of girls of a certain type that it is okay for me to do it to” apology just made him look worse.
Kathryn arrives at Cameran’s house in head to toe virginal white. Or winter white as Cameran calls it. This is the first time Kathryn has been Cameran’s house. Cameran tells Kathryn that the Key West trip is her last hurrah because she is preparing to be a mother. Kathryn’s sharing of her child birth experiences makes me feel sorry for her current situation.
Cameran says that Landon would like Kathryn to reach out to her before the trip to clear the air between them. Kathryn says she feels Landon owes her an apology. Cameran asks how the bad blood between them started and Kathryn shares that Thomas broke up with her the week before Valentine’s day and took Landon on the Valentine’s Day trip they had planned to his friend’s plantation instead. Cameran didn’t know that and she says it changes her opinion of Landon. Kathryn seems sloppy and wild-eyed in the pink dress confessionals tonight as well.
During another same old same old fight between Naomie and Craig, production goes to a lot of trouble to shade Craig. They zoom in on his sewing machine and then over to the beer he is drinking with a Miss Universe coozie wrapped around it. I know why they are doing this, and I think it’s repulsive. Also repulsive is Naomie’s passive aggressive and aggressive aggressive bullshit toward Craig. Craig make mid six figures on this show. He is investing in real estate and the stock market. Get off his fucking jock. How dare she say if SHE feels disrespected on the trip she will leave early and they will be done. She’s the most disrespectful of the two.
This seems like a good time to refresh my drink.
This seems like a good time for a bathroom break.
Chelsea and Austen talk about the Shep incident in the car on the way to his mother’s house on Kiawah Island. These two always seem to film in a car. There seems to be an issue with filming at their homes. Austen realizes that Chelsea is really toning down her story about what Shep did to her. Austen realizes that clearly she and Shep have talked. Chelsea says she just ran into him, but in actual fact he dropped by her house. By the time they arrive at his parents house, Austen is pissed. He’s literally taking her to meet the parents and they are in a fight. Austen’s parents seem lovely. They tell Chelsea all sorts of stories about Austen’s hijinx as a kid. He was apparently quite the trouble-making little boy. Austen is so not in the mood for this, but I think it’s cute.
When the gang arrives in Key West, Whitney asks for an upgrade. This always irritates the cast but Whitney will always have the better room because he is a producer. Cameran may call him an entitled ass but I always try to get the best room I can get on check in. Plus, when you are an older woman traveling alone, you are often mistaken for a travel writer or an under cover reviewer. It’s great. In this case, leave Whitney alone. Chelsea gets her own room instead of staying with Austen. I agree with this move too.
Oh YAY! Jennifer is there! Oh noe, she seems to be sidled up to Landon. Le sigh. Thank god for Chelsea. Cameran tells Landon that she knows about her trip with Thomas. Landon says she had her own wing in the plantation. Girl please. Everything that comes out of your mouth is ridiculous. Chelsea points out that if she was in Kathryn’s position she’s hate Landon too. Drunk Landon shoots back at Chelsea with, “There is no girl code. That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. Grow up!” I suppose Landon is sort of the expert on lame.
Holy Mother of God. Jennifer Snowden looks AMAZING in her confessional. She lost 80 pounds of baby weight and has been working out like a fiend. She has this beautiful athletic body, beautifully tasteful dress, the hair the makeup, everything. She’s a knockout. Oh and in her confessional she says it is great that Cameran thinks Kathryn has made major changes to her life and she’s a better person now, that is great, but Jennifer knows that it’s only a matter of time before the real Kathryn shows up. Did I mention how great she looks?
Landon is getting wasted. So she starts hitting on Austen. Chelsea sees this from the window of her room and her claws start to come out for Landon. YES!
Shep sits down with Austen. Austen says that he considered Shep to be like the brother he had never had. Shep does better with his apology to Austen. Shep got them matching cheesy tourist shirts. Austen’s is white and Shep’s black. Like his cold, black, heart.
They put up the names of people like Landon (perhaps because she is the most forgettable) but not the blond in Kathryn’s room who I think is Shelly. But don’t yell at me if I am wrong I am disabled and retarded and drinking. Okay I as wrong, it’s Danni and her fiance Todd shows up to board the van to dinner. Where did he come from?
I’ve only been to Key West once and it was one of those teenage road trips with your boyfriend and no money where we should have both died on multiple occasions but somehow lived to tell whatever parts of the tale we can remember. I would say more but it was sort of a crime spree.
Enough about me and my poor choices, let’s get back to drunk Landon and hers. She threatens to leave because there is no place for her to sit. I blame Todd for this. Did anyone know he was coming?
And there it is. Kathryn says she is going to have a drink because she is on vacation. Margarita no salt for her. Whitney and Cameran exchange looks. Oh hang on to your pussy hats, girls because it only gets worse from here. This is just dinner. Wait til we get to the Drag Show. Oh yes! I say in my Wendy Williams voice. After a margarita or two, Kathryn leans over to Whitney and gives him a very sweet apology. He accepts and apologizes in return. You can tell he is very concerned about her actually drinking on camera. Whitney goes and takes Landon by the hand to force her to sit down with Kathryn and hash things out. Clearly he is drunk too, because this is not the time for this showdown. Unless you are part of production that is.
So neither of them really want to talk so with a bit of input from Danni they both seem to agree to just move on and be cordial. And then my boy drunk Craig stands up and says that they need to air their differences in order to do that. But it a much more drunken way. Something about what itches them? Landon says nothing about Kathryn itches her. Landon says there is nothing that she doesn’t like about Kathryn. WTF? Naomie is pissed that Craig is playing therapist. Thomas thinks it is a great idea. Kathryn says that she has a family and that Thomas is the father of her children and Landon talks crap about them. They argue about Landon going on the trip with Kathryn.
Danni and Craig get into it apparently about who is mediating the reconciliation. Danni screams at Craig saying that he is about to lose a lot of friends. Landon tells Craig he is ruining everything. Naomie has her full bitch face on. Landon starts profusely apologizing to Kathryn for hurting her and then says that Thomas uses her as a weapon against her and she doesn’t think that’s right.
Thomas makes this face.
Landon says that if it were not for Thomas they would be great friends. Thomas is furious. They have a drunken hug. Kathryn seems to get drunker in her pink dress talking head. She’s now drunk in scene and in confessional. She slut shames Landon for all the guys she has tried to hook up with from the show. Slut shaming is never appropriate. But when you’re a slut yourself it just makes you look jealous. Please stop making me take Landon’s side here, Kathryn.
As they adjourn for their trip to Aqua for the drag show, Thomas is mad at Landon. If you read between the lines he’s pissed because Landon threw him under the bus so that she could make up with Kathryn and have a better edit and more screen time. It’s a little late in the season for that. Maybe next year. Craig is mad at Naomie and the girls just want to drink more.
Wow. They are not going to show the trip to Aqua where allegedly there was a lot more than alcohol available. They are only showing flashbacks. But the flashbacks are EVERYTHING.
Jennifer has to get back to her kid and Naomie has to get back to school so they have to leave early. Thomas says. “My daughter is going to the nutcracker tonight.” Kathryn asks if a certain nanny is with her, he says yes. She says she is not allowed to be around her daughter. They bleeped it out but I think it is actually, the nanny’s underage daughter she is referring to. Thomas says he doesn’t have a court order for that. Maybe not then but Kathryn has asked for one recently. Thomas and Kathryn get into it a bit and Kathryn goes back to her room. Thomas says he has a 20-year-old watching his kids and she’s way more mature than Kathryn. Landon tells Thomas to stop throwing stones and making things worse. Dear Lord, how am I team Landon again?
Next week is the finale. It looks fabulous. I feel like we were just getting started and I don’t want this to end!