The usual assortment of crackheads with lawnmowers, high school kids trying to replace their stolen iPhones, and the one good guy I’ve used for years to maintain my yard all disappeared this year. The people who own the mostly empty house next to mine used to use a very friendly, strong like bull, woman to do theirs who I would occasionally grab to do mine, but she too has disappeared. There is only one explanation for this. There has been a cheap yard workers Apocalypse. If you haven’t noticed it is because either you have a useful husband, or strong like bull wife, or you are the strong like bull wife, or you are rich and use one of those lawn services.
Then, yesterday, Tony showed up, with his big smile and hand written flyers with crosses and religious quotes meant to let me know everything is going to be alright. Tony is probably older than me and calls me Miss Tamara. Tony did about six hours of work in the yard today. It’s 88 degrees. Tony way overcharged me. But I happened to notice that Tony’s wife or girlfriend called and they were trying to find a place to rent. His truck was literally held together with duct tape. So I feel somewhat better about paying half his first month’s rent. I like Tony and I need Tony to like me enough to swing back by keep the nice lady who sort of not really lives next door from cutting my lawn for me.
So I am exhausted. Because babysitting the lawn guy is almost as tiring as doing it myself. Plus I kind of sorta weeded the front flower bed. Then I pulled up the yellow plum tomato plant and shoveled all of the dirt from the giant fungi-ridden clay pot into the garden, That plant and my cheat plant are goners. So I am wondering if I bleach out the pot and scrub it out a few times if it is too late to plant another tomato plant.
Also everyone else’s day lilies are blooming buy my stalker has poisoned my strip of land between my driveway and his fence again. He has somehow managed to kill my day lilies which I didn’t even think was possible because they are ditch lilies that multiply worse than mint.
I am trying to catch my breath to weed around the three tomato plants in the ground between my driveway and the end of my house. It’s mostly mint. I made a huge pitcher of tea with lemonade and mint today and served it to Tony in a giant mason jar. I’m actually enjoying my mint this season.
He guzzled it down along with 1.5 liters of my Smart water and a soft drink from Taco Bell. Even then he knocked on the door asking for diluted apple cider vinegar with salt and pepper because he was cramping up.
I actually found a pepper planted that I repotted in the weeds of the flower garden; that’s how overgrown that garden was. I have bulbs coming in there that are probably the dahlias I planted three years ago.I bought several dozen bulbs to plant then and put just a few in the front garden. They have bluish white mold on the leaves that are about four feet tall. I sprayed some baking soda and water on them as I was coming it that sent it all flying. I was too tired to do a good job. I will try again in a few minutes.
The stalker killed the six dozen or so I planted over a period of three days only his fence line. He also told me that I had just wasted my time because he is going to have to pull up his fence and put up a privacy fence. I would have gladly lost all that work if he would have actually done that. Instead he installed cameras inside the rooms of the windows that face my driveway. I should note that I only leave my house to go to the grocery store, the bank or my therapist. There is nothing for him to see other than me taking my trash out, checking the mail, or getting in my car. He on the other hand stands in his yard anytime someone comes over. He did not come out today to tell Tony how crazy I am or ask him if he can find him some crystal meth. He did not sit in any of the bizarre chairs in his front yard and watch Tony the whole time he was here. It’s much easier to sit inside in the air conditioning and watch the surveillance video I suppose. So that is progress.
So today, I made progress. I got off the couch. I worked up a sweat. I helped a stranger and he helped me.
Progress. Off to make a tiny bit more.