The usual assortment of crackheads with lawnmowers, high school kids trying to replace their stolen iPhones, and the one good guy I’ve used for years to maintain my yard all disappeared this year. The people who own the mostly empty house next to mine used to use a very friendly, strong like bull, woman to do theirs who I would occasionally grab to do mine, but she too has disappeared. There is only one explanation for this. There has been a cheap yard workers Apocalypse. If you haven’t noticed it is because either you have a useful husband, or strong like bull wife, or you are the strong like bull wife, or you are rich and use one of those lawn services.
Then, yesterday, Tony showed up, with his big smile and hand written flyers with crosses and religious quotes meant to let me know everything is going to be alright. Tony is probably older than me and calls me Miss Tamara. Tony did about six hours of work in the yard today. It’s 88 degrees. Tony way overcharged me. But I happened to notice that Tony’s wife or girlfriend called and they were trying to find a place to rent. His truck was literally held together with duct tape. So I feel somewhat better about paying half his first month’s rent. I like Tony and I need Tony to like me enough to swing back by keep the nice lady who sort of not really lives next door from cutting my lawn for me.
So I am exhausted. Because babysitting the lawn guy is almost as tiring as doing it myself. Plus I kind of sorta weeded the front flower bed. Then I pulled up the yellow plum tomato plant and shoveled all of the dirt from the giant fungi-ridden clay pot into the garden, That plant and my cheat plant are goners. So I am wondering if I bleach out the pot and scrub it out a few times if it is too late to plant another tomato plant.
Also everyone else’s day lilies are blooming buy my stalker has poisoned my strip of land between my driveway and his fence again. He has somehow managed to kill my day lilies which I didn’t even think was possible because they are ditch lilies that multiply worse than mint.
I am trying to catch my breath to weed around the three tomato plants in the ground between my driveway and the end of my house. It’s mostly mint. I made a huge pitcher of tea with lemonade and mint today and served it to Tony in a giant mason jar. I’m actually enjoying my mint this season.
He guzzled it down along with 1.5 liters of my Smart water and a soft drink from Taco Bell. Even then he knocked on the door asking for diluted apple cider vinegar with salt and pepper because he was cramping up.
I actually found a pepper planted that I repotted in the weeds of the flower garden; that’s how overgrown that garden was. I have bulbs coming in there that are probably the dahlias I planted three years ago.I bought several dozen bulbs to plant then and put just a few in the front garden. They have bluish white mold on the leaves that are about four feet tall. I sprayed some baking soda and water on them as I was coming it that sent it all flying. I was too tired to do a good job. I will try again in a few minutes.
The stalker killed the six dozen or so I planted over a period of three days only his fence line. He also told me that I had just wasted my time because he is going to have to pull up his fence and put up a privacy fence. I would have gladly lost all that work if he would have actually done that. Instead he installed cameras inside the rooms of the windows that face my driveway. I should note that I only leave my house to go to the grocery store, the bank or my therapist. There is nothing for him to see other than me taking my trash out, checking the mail, or getting in my car. He on the other hand stands in his yard anytime someone comes over. He did not come out today to tell Tony how crazy I am or ask him if he can find him some crystal meth. He did not sit in any of the bizarre chairs in his front yard and watch Tony the whole time he was here. It’s much easier to sit inside in the air conditioning and watch the surveillance video I suppose. So that is progress.
So today, I made progress. I got off the couch. I worked up a sweat. I helped a stranger and he helped me.
Progress. Off to make a tiny bit more.
Good for you! You would need a crowbar to get my fat ass out of the house the last few months. I was hoping I’d be better when the weather warmed up, but then the slugs showed up and yuck.
You have inspired me to weed my flower bed yet today.
I hated every minute of it. But there is gratification as soon as you are done. And it motivated me to take by bi-annual shower so I am feeling A LOT better right now. 🙂
How you managed to grow fungi on a clay pot is beyond me. Soak the clay pot in one part Clorox to ten parts water for maybe an hour, rinse, soak in clean water for a while, repeat soaking in clean water several times. It is the same principle as cooking certain foods in multiple waters to rid whatever the toxin is from the foodstuff. On the other hand, I remember watching Martha Stewart painting buttermilk on a perfectly good clean clay pot because she wanted green moss to grow on the outside of the pot. Green algae on the sides of the pot is a clear sign of poor horticultural practices and something wrong inside the pot. Or Martha just needed to fill ten minutes of air time and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weeding. Shoveling. Planting. Coming home too tired to water. I was gonna keep this somewhere between where lantana ends and heaven begins. Braving the skeeters with my swami wrapped head watered mid July last year. Not exactly thrilled with the fact that without water all would be lost dragged out the hose out of sense of duty. Extremely hot and extermely pissed out that what was planted had thirst. Then it came. The hummingbird. Less than two feet away it continued to hover by my head. Two minutes passed, turned and looked it in the eyes. It took a moment ( more like three Mississippis) before the bird realized my head wasn’t a giant flower. Mid July of last year and still amazed.
Well Done!! I’m so impressed. It’s so hard while you’re doing the work but the reward and sense of well being (even if it’s short lived-lol) is great.
I’ve also noticed a dearth of workers-I especially miss the guys/kids who would come by to shovel the walkway. Now you’ve got to hire a business that has a lot of over-head and the $25.00 has jumped to $100.00.
Tummy tuck scar. She looks awesome, though. Good for her.
Move to Cherokee County. Affordable houses, taxes, little traffic and really cheap lawn care ($35 every 2 weeks). It looks a little ragged by the middle of the second week but I can live with it.
what state?
That would be Jawja. In Cherokee County, the law is that everyone has to own a gun. Or some such holdover from a century ago that was a kerfuffle a few years ago.
Signed,
Georgia born and Georgia bred, and when I’m gone I’ll be Georgia dead
That’s only in Kennesaw, not the entire county. But I own one anyway… invite friends for lunch then we go to the range 🙂
LOVE your signature!
Kennesaw is in Cobb. I lived there when that law was a news making thing.
And really good neighbors! No stalkers here, a few rednecks but no stalkers.
I finally went to our local farmers market and got two jack o lantern pumpkin plants and planted them next to the zucchini’s and hook nose squash. Here in Central Coast of Cali all veggie starters are late due the the crazy weather we had earlier this year. I have a really healthy tomato plant I thought was a beef steak tomato but read the plant sticker and it’s a cherry tomato. I just want my other tomato plants to kick ass and produce. Does anyone ever put Uncle Ian’s blood meal on your plants. It’s a miracle worker. Found at Home Depot?
Jesus wtf is wrong with your neighbor??
Lots of things. Too many drugs I think. It’s frightening.
Since you’re okay with prayers, I’ll be praying that the son of a bitch who lives next to you will soon be doing a few decades in prison. I’ve been stalked before, it’s a terrible feeling. Good on you for getting out there anyway.
Your gardening posts are inspiring me. We’ve been busy with baseball, but the high school season ended today. It was a blast, but I need to weed, mulch, cut back, transplant and repeat. Thank you TT–adore your blog!
Damn. Found hornworms today.
Yikes, I think you have to just pick those off and drop them in a jug of water and dawn. EW.
I’m a wuss, not touching them. Sprayed them with an organic spray, and going to pick up some Bt today. Organic sounds all good ’til you see those little critters on chewing up your hard work.
I just took a midnight stroll around my garden. It was way to hot and humid during the day to do so and the moon is very bright. The dogs think I’m a little crazy but that’s ok. All looks good out there. The tomatoes and peppers seem to be surviving the heat and the dry spell we’ve been enduring and all the raised beds are full of tiny plants promising to bless me with an abundant harvest if I keep them watered and cared for. I purchased two sprinklers that are triggered by motion detectors and they are a hoot. I move them around enough to keep the goats scared of the whole garden and even my flowers are surviving the varied and plentiful critters that are usually a plague on my efforts to brighten the place every Summer. I found two very young fawns asleep in the old homestead site on my land so I have decided to just let that area be this year. All in all, things are good for the moment. I’ll have to learn to appreciate these moments instead of dreading tomorrows. I am learning that I am quite capable of caring for the place on my own and I take great comfort in that.
well, well well, look how far you have come, Miss Mary! BRAVO!
Thank you TT and you should take a bow in regards to your assistance in my transformation.
I love gardening, having previously lived in a flat with no private outdoor space, I adore being able to go out and make things beautiful (and edible where possible..) it was really important when we were looking for a house to buy that it had a large garden, which is not easy to find in a seaside town which is an easy commute to London. So now I have a garden I can’t get enough of and a house that we are having to completely renovate one tiny step at a time (our shower caught fire two weeks ago, who knew that was even possible). I have a really stressful job and focusing on the garden is really relaxing for me, I couldn’t imagine paying someone else to do it, nor could I afford it, but I also don’t have to deal with the heat, humidity and mosquitos you guys do. Could you not put your own camera up and catch the guy poisoning your plants? It’s criminal damage! x
I painted my deck last year, the fucking thing peeled, I complained to the company that made and the one that sold it, got nothing (who keeps the old cans to show? assholes). So I am doing the deck AGAIN today, in 90 something degree weather, but it is going to look so nice! I am keeping the cans in case the damn thing peels again. I need a Tony in my life! Husband works a ton and has no idea how to do this. Glad you got out, it is so satisfying when it is done! Good thing the crazy neighbor is building a privacy fence, now he can do his thing in private.
Oh that was like three years ago he told me he was digging up all my bulbs to build a privacy fence. He can’t possible do that because he is “dying” and certainly not doing that fast enough for me either.
oh will maybe the drug habit will speed that along….
I was really hoping you were going to say that picture is of you, TT, doing something fabulous in Europe at some point in your life. Seriously! I love it. You go, Dorinda. Didn’t recognize her immediately.
Ack, don’t paint your deck! The previous owner of our house built a DIY deck and painted it. Bane of my existence, that freaking thing.
Is that Dorinda? I would never have recognized her, and still don’t!
I don’t recognize her either but everyone on her Instagram apparently does. The caption was something about how she doesn’t waste food #Lettuce or something.
Trying to get motivated to go pull weeds.
Gosh darn it T. Reading your tomato talk has made me think I need to start gardening again after 4 years. It’s also made me think I NEED a tomato plant. I’ve never ever even had one. A few times a week a hummingbird comes to my covered deck because the citronella candles are in a red bucket. I promised her this week I’d get a plant for her. I did. The grocery store had $12.49 hanging wave petunias for $4.99. So I got her one. Haven’t seen her since. Also, the plant is in pretty rough shape. I have a built in excuse if it dies.
I forgot to add, when I was into gardening I liked to do it at night when it was dark. I’m sure the neighbors called me their crazy neighbor. I also liked playing in my over sized double car garage filled to the brim with my fossil & mineral collection at night with the lights on and the garage door open. I wore the crazy neighbor lady label proudly.
A moonlight garden would be perfect for you. My neighbor had one for a few years and it was spectacular. All of the plants bloomed white and/or had white leaves and in the dark and moonlight they glowed.
I’ll just pretend that I planted tomatoes and the rabbits already ate them. I do cultivate basil all summer long for my local Jersey tomatoes and mozzarella and olive oil salad.
When I first started the Tomato Talks, there were a lot of us either depressed, fighting THE CRAZY or both and there was a literal mandate here that you HAD to have a tomato plant to participate on the site. Fun times. Go get your plant. Starting tomorrow it’s supposed to rain for the next forty days and forty nights or so, I’m gonna tries to go buy another cheat plant and clean dirt and try to sterilize the pot and start over.
But not today. Today seems too dreary to do anything and everything on TV is just depressing.
Somehow the tomatoes survived May/early June. I’m not sure how and they don’t look great, but they lived so they should be ok. Between temperatures that dipped into the low 40s and really strong winds, the North East has been a disaster.
But It’s going to be 95 fucking degrees this week in NYC. So we’ll have something new about the weather to complain about. lol
Somehow my tomatoes, peppers and cukes have withstood the deluge that has been SE VA for the past six weeks or more. I do have yellowing on the leaves. I pulled my first ripe grape tomatoes, but that one is potted. The weeds and that effing wire grass are taking over my flower and garden beds and I will be forced to deal with them in the swamp that will be the weather in the beginning of this week. Also breaking out the sevin spray for fear of the coming Japanese beetles on my roses. I have come to despise the heat and humidity at my age (59). I rarely go to the beach anymore because of sun exposure. I would gladly move north to Vermont but the DH ain’t having it. Sigh.
Such magic in spotting the first lightning bug or firefly, as you like it ending up in a mid summer’s night dream. Pucking awesome.