When an episode begins at 1:40 am you know something is about to go down. We begin with Adam creepily cornering a drunk Malia for a kiss. After there little makeout session, Malia goes down to crew quarters with lipstick smeared all over her face. Everyone goes a bit nuts because she looks like the Joker on Batman. She runs into her cabin and slams the door. When she comes out Lauren tells Hannah about the deranged joker face on Malia face after making out with someone. They are trying to figure out who she was with. Spoiler alert! It was both of them.
Malia is suddenly sober and pissed off at Lauren. Because Lauren was talking behind her back. Please, the entire crew was mocking her to her face! Lauren just filled in Hannah on what she missed. She has no duty to cover for Malia. Why must everyone come for Lauren. She was trying to have a little fun before they shove her in the laundry room again for three more days. Lauren takes off and checks out Adam. There she finds he too has lipstick all over his face. Mystery solved. Sort of. Then she tells Malia. Malia then says she made out with both of them. Malia is oddly angry at Lauren. What the hell did she do? Then gets Lauren gets really snotty and flees for cover suggesting Lauren pick someone. Malia just announces to Wes that she kissed both him and Adam and strolls off to fuck with Lauren some more. Wes is heartbroken. Lauren tells Malia that making out with two guys who share a bunk is simply not done.
It’s time to get some guests. It’s the guests from last season who had the three way in hot tub. This time they have someone who can’t eat onions. Adam and I both find that appalling. I LOVE onions. They also want some sort of water obstacle course that they can play team games on. And a trip to the KRKA waterfalls. Oh and please, don’t run out of vodka! So Hannah orders 20 bottles of vodka.
The deck crew are not pleased that they have a new complicated water slide for this charter. Malia goes down to the ironing room where Lauren has begun slaving away to apologize for being mean to her last night. Lauren apologizes as well. A truce is called.
Captain Sandy let’s Wes drive the boat away from the dock. He did well! Later, he played a huge role in docking the giant yacht in tight quarters.
Adam is putting onions in everything. Because, dick. Even when the primary sends his shrimp and grits back, Adam’s redo still goes out with onion tops in it. Adam is really a prick. He is treating Hannah horribly and even calls her a slut. It seems like he is on something.
Once they dock, Hannah and Wes go shopping because the guests have already been through half the vodka. They also need 100 lemons and limes for the drinks just to be on the safe side.
Lauren and Bugsy are going to do service at the picnic under the waterfalls. As soon as all of the food is loaded off the yacht at 12:20, the ferry to the waterfall delays departure time by one hour. Now the food is all out in the heat and there is still a two-hour ferry ride to the waterfalls. How the hell do you manage that obstacle? Adam suggests covering the food with a blanket. This seems counterproductive to me.
Next week: The arguing between Adam and Hannah continues. Captain Sandy walks in when Adam is being abusive to Adam. Hannah informs Captain Sandy that Adam is putting onions in every dish. Will he get fired? Generally, when Ben is not the chef because he has other obligations, when his schedule clears the chef gets fired. Remember Chef Leon?