2016 was a really crappy year in so very many ways, and one of those ways was all of the tropical storms and hurricanes. Three Bravo shows were affected by the weather. First, Top Chef Charleston filming was impacted by Tropical Storm Bonnie, and tonight, Hurricane Matthew will send the cast from Southern Charm Savannah to Charlotte where they run into some of the cast of Southern Charm. Most all of the Southern Charm folks were in Charlotte except for Kathryn who went to Virginia with someone. All of Southern Charm Savannah went to Charlotte except for Ashley who went to her mother’s house in Augusta.
Ashley seems to have stolen Nelson’s spot as the narrator for the previous episode. This is really the Ashley show.
But before we get to Charlotte, we have to get through this dinner party from hell. When we left off, Daniel was confronting Nelson about referring to him with as, ‘schvartzer’ a Yiddish word for black person that has a derogatory connotation. Nelson says he didn’t know the word is racist, or else he was using it in a metaphoric way, or it was allegorical. (un)Happy is crying about this topic because (un)Happy is making this all about (un)Happy. (un)Happy says people just her for dating someone of a difference race. Lyle, tries to defend Nelson and then he just storms out of the dinner lest the light be shined on him. There is a mass exodus of offended people stomping out the door like children.
But the guys only make it to the porch. They are all wasted. Daniel starts a verbal tirade about not being able to be in some club because he is Jewish. Really? Why is everyone being whiney little brats tonight? Nelson was racist yesterday and will be racist tomorrow. What this all they could come up with for the dinner party storyline? Was, “Holy Crap a hurricane is coming where are we going to go?” even tossed around as an idea?
The next day everyone evacuates for the hurricane in the most ridiculous fashion. During an evacuation, everyone takes their cars. There is no carpooling. You pack your car full of every valuable that will fit and you get the hell out of dodge. It looks like Nelson and Ashley are going to Augusta and everyone else is going to Charlotte. They are also leaving super early because there is not traffic on the roads at all.
Before Catherine and Ashley can evacuate they have to meet on a square and discuss the drama at the dinner party. Catherine apologizes for saying that Ashley has an open marriage. Ashley does not apologize for saying that Catherine is cheating on Lyle.
In Augusta, Ashley’s mom, Virginia, is everything the old coot from Southern Charm wishes she was. He house is beautiful inside and out and crammed full of art and antiquities. Ashley’s mama is a pistol as well. On social media she was letting the people trash talking Ashley have it will full force. She is quite the character.
Nelson plays us some Ode to Joy on the obligatory piano before leaving to go see his family. Then Ashley and her mom both enjoy a proper cup of tea. Ashley opens up to her mother about the state of her marriage. Ashley lets us know that her parents kicked her out when she got pregnant and they were estranged for a bit. But they are very close now.
In Charlotte, Louis is working on a pop up shop for his socks in a bar. Because they are in a bar, Shep is there. Also most of the guys know Shep, because everybody knows Shep. As a nod to Shep’s upcoming spinoff, he mentions that his siblings live in Charlotte and he has been playing with his nieces and nephews all day and it made him want a kid. Shep does not want a kid.
Buy the time the Savannah girls arrive, Hannah realizes that Louis is “going full Lou.” This apparently is his version of Tequila Katie. Hannah is not happy about this. The hurricane party rages on into the night.
The next morning at the hotel, there is a fire alarm and everyone has to evacuate hungover and half nekkid in the rain. They make the best of it and just do a recap scene of the events of the party. It appears that Shep and Austen are at a different hotel. Lyle is passed out in the room.
Later in the pouring rain they go to lunch and to get pedicures. I had real time photos of all the Charlotte stuff but I cannot find the post to save my soul. Louis takes the boys to a sock factory. It is just as exciting as you might imagine. Louis seems like the kind of guy that is often told to put a sock in it.
Later the whole Charlotte crew meets up to go bowling. Shep shows up as well with Thomas. Catherine starts treating Thomas like a therapist and drunk therapy ensues. Catherine has issues with marrying Lyle. Thomas the drunken marriage counselor is odd. Thomas says he doesn’t even want to get married anymore because he got what he wanted out of it, two kids. And there you have it. Kathryn was nothing but a baby breeder with good genes and great lineage.
At the bowling alley they see the news on TV about how bad Matthew was. Hilton Head where Shep is from was hit hard with tons of flooding. River street in Savannah had a lot of flooding. The tides on Tybee Island came way up. It was bad. For some reason Happy and Az did not evacuate.
On the trip back lots of gas stations are out of gas. When they finally get back home, there is a good bit of damage. Lots of downed trees.
Next week: We’re back to bickering about things that don’t matter. And Happy’s mom returns. I wish this show would have been all about their parents. They are way more awesome.