This show is tanking. HARD. It’s a shame because it could have been such a great show about a beautiful city but they just picked the wrong people.
On the other hand, Ashley Borders really is the show. Once you accept that it is not the same sort of Southern Charm show you expected and embrace your inner Delta Baggage Handler, it might be okay. Maybe as my college friend Ray used to say every time we found ourselves in horrible situations, “You’re just looking at it wrong. ”
Of course we start with Ashley telling her friend Zia pictured above about the need to cleanse her house of bad energy. I was so going into this with a positive attitude until Ashley opened her mouth in confession. As soon as she says, “The Gullah religion is.. ” My head was filled with the sound of a needle on a record making that scratch sound. Gullah is not a religion, it is a cultural identity of a subset of African-Americans on the Georgia and South Carolina coast. Perhaps someone who fled Savannah in high school should not return thirty years later to discuss the cultural intricacies of the region on national television without a clue of what she is talking about. I can’t. Nothing she says about the Geechees is accurate.
Ah Sistah Patt has arrived to save the day. Perhaps they could have allowed her to discuss her community. She’s an activist in the area committed to saving the Geechee culture in the low country. She also does a lot of work with Feed the Hungry and she’s got a lot of political roots in general. Her name is Patt Gunn. I believe every thing this woman says about there being spirits in the room that need to be released. I believe in the root doctors of the Gullah culture ever since I taught at an HBCU in South Carolina. It was a very small place and we all came down with a horrible flu at the same time. One of my students went straight to the root doctor off the coast and returned with a dirty paper cup from a 7-11 filled with I do not want to know what. It tasted like crap but I drank from that paper cup before he took it to his friends. We were all well and back on campus within 24 hours while others languished for weeks. I am a firm believer in Gullah Geechee culture. Anyway, Sistah Patt prayed the spirits right out of that room. Then she told Ashley that her soul mate has not found her yet, but he is coming. Do not doubt Sistah Patt, y’all.
Louis thinks Hannah is his soulmate. I’m not so sure. Maybe they need to ask Sistah Patt.
Then back to Ashley and her husband. She tells Dennis what Sistah Patt said about them not being soul mates. She says maybe she is standing in his way. Dennis replies with “I enjoy living here. Leave the salt and pepper alone.” That’s reference to hoodoo, which is a part of some of the Geechee culture. It’s a religious belief grounded in Christianity to some degree that also includes spells. Many of those spells include salt and pepper. Hoodoo dolls were recently introduced on Southern Charm when Cameran purchased two of them from some white guy.
Ashley says that she and Dennis were not romantically involved when they remarried. They remarried because she and her son were moving to Dubai and it technically isn’t legal for a woman to live with a man she is not married to or related to. People do it, but despite being one of the most evolved Muslim countries, Sharia law still applies. That said you would have to attract a lot of attention to yourself to get in trouble for shacking up. Then again it is Ashley. It’s amazing that she managed to live there without getting arrested for public indecency. Apparently she can conform to societal rules if the penalties for not doing so are high enough.
Next we have a little party on Tybee Island. I never really liked Tybee when I lived in Savannah. It was a longish drive and usually crowded. Some people love it because last I was there no highrises were up and it’s just a dirty little beach without much going on. Nelson has hired a girlfriend and she’s hot. I wonder how much she cost him? Perhaps just being on TV was enough for her. It’s not like she had to kiss him.
Catherine picks up two guys on the beach. She tells them that she is not single and her boyfriend is in Minnesota. Um isn’t Lyle, Lyle crocodile the love of her life and only a few feet away? Oh no, maybe he is off somewhere. Catherine is trashed. She gives her phone number to the two guys. Her real phone number.
Ashley whips off her cover-up to reveal a SUPER cute fifties style swimsuit. I want it. the bottoms are beyond full coverage, it’s like an 18hr girdle. I need this in my life. Catherine jumps in to go swimming with her. I think the whole bit where the two girls say that Ashley likes to take her clothes off in front of our boyfriends was a frankenbite. The only thing we really saw was one of them saying “I hate that!” #ProductionSucks
Hannah tries to present her ideas for beach cover ups to a local Savannah personality. It didn’t go well.
Happy meets with her mother Lysa. Love Lysa with all my heart. She is spectacular. I want to be Lysa. She is out on her little pier crabbing when (un)Happy arrives. She has a chocolate lab puppy. I want a chocolate lab puppy. I want to be best friends with Lysa.
Once again Ashley tells us in her affected southern accent that Hurricane Matthew is getting ready to skirt by and informs us that no one pays attention to that and they just sit in the porch waiting for the next thunderstorm. Bitch doesn’t even have a porch and when I lived there we had a little something called Hurricane Floyd and I had to pack up my care with the things I wanted to save (art mostly and Mamaw’s cast iron skillets) and leave my little apartment on the marsh with the possibility I will never see it or anything in it ever again. It was horrific. It took me two days to get home to Atlanta. TWO DAYS. We were not sitting on the porch, bitch.
Catherine’s gay best friend, Brandon, is making lovely arrangements out of cheap flowers for the dinner from hell. It seems like it is his house where the party will occur. As people start to filter in to the party Brandon starts literally at the door getting people drunk.
Right away Lyle and Louis start coming for Ashley. They ask her what she does and I don’t care if she works at Cafe Risque (I actually went to pick up a job app there once, I was on a recon mission, don’t ask) on I-95, there is a certain southern gentlemen decorum that is not present in the guys. She says she has a luxury stylist company and she is perhaps the only one in the area. I will pause here to defend what I think is about to happen to Ashley. I’ve been thinking about getting a job at Walmart. I have my own company as well, but the cost of a small business owner paying to health insurance is beyond my grasp at this point. Walmart allows part-time employees to have health insurance. So if I could pick up a few hours there, I would be working for the benefits and not for the pay. I feel like it is the same thing with Ashley and Delta pays very well. So she gets almost free travel anywhere Delta flies and insurance and money to fund her business. This is simply smart choices on her part. But I am getting ahead of the story.
Lyle is super creepy and Louis by extension is too. At dinner, the host, Brandon looks deflated. Idiots are bitching about cucumbers on the salad. Nelson is lying about his non-existent job. Lyle is perhaps the worst person in the world. Happy brings up that Nelson is a known liar and con artist and he says those reports were not from real journalists, just bloggers. But his ass was real arrested. Louis defends Nelson. Then Nelson admits that he impersonated Georgia congressman Jack Kingston. He says he doesn’t know why he did it and he is a good friend of his family. All true. And somehow he pocketed his congressional pin and impersonated him DC. He’s a scumbag. Then we get into his claims he was Minister Plenipotentiary for Artistic Endeavors for the Bahamas. This is not cute. This is mental illness. Which is why his parents sent him to a mental health facility. Much like Teresa Giudice he calls it camp. Liar’s camp.
Ashley is trying to defend Nelson. His behaviors are indefensible. She says this is why she left Savannah because people gang up on people. She knows things about everyone at the table and if they all want to defend their truth they should step up to the table. (un)Happy wants to start with Ashley. Hannah says she thought they had made up but apparently they haven’t as Ashley continues to talk about her. Ashley asks if she should got into Hannah’s past. Hannah is the only one of the women who has tried to make up with Ashley and she doesn’t trash talk her because she has a life. The others not so much.
Catherine say that she has been judging her because she doesn’t who she is. Ashley says I never told her anything so how could I be dishonest? She says she never told them she worked for Delta. Ashley says she works five-hour twice a week, that is not her life. She can fly around the world for free now. Wow, Daniel doesn’t have her back now? What a douchebag!
Ashley brings up that she heard Catherine is cheating on Lyle. Another guy at the table says he heard the same thing. So Catherine’s GBFis now in the mix he questions whether or not her house was really on fire and says everyone knows she has an open marriage. Tasteless and cruel but that is what GBF’s do.
Then when that blows over Daniel calls out Nelson on his racist behaviors.
Next week: Oh look it’s an evacuation from Savannah. And nobody sitting on the porch drinking tea. People are fleeing for their lives with only what will fit in their cars.
I’m so glad you review this show. I really like it. The men aren’t as sophisticated as southern charm but I still find it all so interesting. i could not wait to come here and hear your take on the GeeChee culture. Thanks for the info.
Lyle is a douche. Catherine is a twat.
I’m actually loving Southern Charm Savannah. I find it refreshing. Charleston has gotten too dark with the Thomas/Kathryn drama and the make believe southern family that is Whitney and Mama Dukes. The Savannah cast doesn’t seem to take themselves too seriously at all and I appreciate that. Kind of reminds me of the first 2 seasons of Shahs.
By the way is it me or is Catherine literally drunk everytime we see her?
It’s not just you! She has seemed drunk in every scene as well as in her confessionals.
Check the health insurance at Starbucks before signng on at Walmart.
Walmart no longer gives benefits to pt employees (barely to ft people) but Starbucks seriously rocks TT. My daughter works there pt benefits and they pay for college.
I love watching these shows for the location porn. Southern charm as well. Will def visit charleston and savannah from Australia. Want to plan a trip to the US in next two years. NY a must. This show is prob less produced, Catherine has a drink in her hand in every talking head. We’re a week behind in recaps but I’m a reality trash bag whore so will watch.
Savannah is WONDERFUL place to go, I’ve been twice and I am in love with the city, day or night, the place is fantastic. I had some of the best times of my life there.
Lyle is so smug and such a dick! I wanted to smack him so bad.
Nelson really does have some serious pathology going on (just my opinion). At first I thought he might be just an eccentric person who likes to tell big, exaggerated stories, but it sounds a LOT more serious. I didn’t understand in the group why everyone was so hung up on Ashley working for Delta. Did she previously SAY she did not work for Delta? I have a friend who works 15 hours a week at a particular clothing store in addition to working from home and trying to start her own business because the store gives her a 50 percent employee discount, including sale items, and she tells me that those 15 hours a week pays for themselves. I have another friend who works one day a week at her friend’s farm and gets paid in produce. If Ashley found a way to work at Delta part time as a way to get completely free airfare, my hat is off to her! I really don’t care for any of the men on this show. Also, I must have missed the part where Nelson was yelling slurs at Daniel, because when they showed the clip I didn’t recognize it.
How many times per show does a cast member have to remind up that Nelson isn’t gay? Anyone keeping count?
Well, you know what they say, if someone keeps answering a question you DIDN’T ask, they are probably lying to you.
Ashley’s lack of being forthcoming about her job is being deceitful. I would be ticked if a friend did that to me; ticked about the lie, ticked about portraying herself to be someone else, ticked about a friend thinking I care about where they are employed. While still living at home, I was laid off from my first job out of college. I could have collected unemployment while looking for another job, instead, I got a low paying job at a fast food restaurant until I got another job. Looking back, it is one of my proudest youthful decisions. Honest work, of any kind, is an excellent thing.
Ashley has a problem, I can’t quite put my finger on it. Her problem seem to be with herself and she continues to blame the ones around her. She definitely has a chip on her shoulder
I can see your point, Jane. Ashley is “off,” but I just don’t see her not mentioning working some hours at Delta as genuinely deceitful. Is it really a friend’s business to know EVERYTHING about you? I just wouldn’t be upset if a friend worked a couple different places and just didn’t bring up all of them. Also, it may just be one of those things she didn’t want to explain to this group. I can’t say I’m a fan of hers, but I just thought they were all making a big deal out of nothing. Just my opinion, but I totally respect where you are coming from.
Yes my friends would know where I work, but I would hardly consider any of these people a real friend to Ashley.
But I DO consider it a lie as she has mentioned that she worked so hard for so long while speaking to Daniel in a different episode and how it was on her own business. Just seems like she is trying so hard to be someone she’s not in a lot of ways so its hard not to see this as something she was trying to hide as opposed to it just never coming up or something like that.
I worked a part time last holiday season and the only person that knew was my son and main job boss. BECAUSE I saw them everyday!! My friends don’t require me to tell them everything or they will accuse me in public of being a liar!!! Ashley tries too hard because these assholes look for any reason to talk shit about her and make condescending comments around her. They intentionally want her to feel like an outcast. Daniel is the only nice guy but still cowardly against the gang of sanctimonious pricks.
I can’t keep people’s names straight, and that’s not like me, maybe because I don’t care enough? I appreciate the recap, helps me figure people out, I agree I am watching the show for the location porn, I know one bar they went to, we also went to when we visited Savannah. That made me happy. Anyways, these people are kind of cray cray attention whores.
I’m trying HARD to like this show, but I can’t stand them except for Ashley. If these idiots think her working part time at Delta for benefits is controversial they need a life. I have a great job and make great money, but I work at home for amazon a few hours a week to get a discount. So I feel for Ashley, but I guess when you grow up rich and spoiled you can’t understand the concept. Lyle creeps me out and Catherine is awful.
Ok, that’s information that I need 🙂 How does one secure a job with Amazon to do from home?
Honestly , my local new station posted a link on their Facebook page saying they were hiring. This was a little over a year ago. You go online and do a mock customer service call. I’m in the Pittsburgh area. If you go into amazon and look into their careers, there should be a “work from home customer service rep ” position . I do it casually like once or twice a week
Liars club… I love it!!! Too Funny 🙂
I’m not trying to be mean, but does Catherine have a head injury? Or is she a little “challenged”? Or…is she just drunk all the time, and dim-witted?
I think drinking and her strange speech pattern. It’s like she is trying to lower the pitch of her voice and add extra pretension to it to sound more arrogant or something. I find her tedious to watch, she is a nasty bitch.
I can’t stand any of them.
What is with (un)Happy’s quavering voice? It’s making me crazy.
In the crosstalk after the Delta revelation, Ashley says she’s paid $8 bucks an hour. Damn, that sucks, even with reduced airfare. Full time baggage handlers won’t be jetting off to Europe on that salary. They’d starve when they got there.
I was thinking when Ashley spouted off about what they do during hurricane warnings that there are some people in New Orleans who could tell you how that strategy worked out for them.
I think the dinner party was held at Catherine’s parents’ home, since they have decamped to live at grandmaw’s plantation and a dinner party at her one room apartment downtown would be déclassé. Brandon seems to be a party planner who’s also her friend and the obligatory gay character. This is Bravo, after all.
I only hated Lyle a little less when he revealed he was a lowly salon equipment salesman.
I hate how Ashley stands up at the table to talk. Never has an “have several seats” directive been more needed.
I changed the channel at that moment in Ashley’s confessional re: Gullah. True story.
I totally get it Sam. I was cautiously pleased they were going to give a nod to the Gullah community and then it was just a lot of baloney. The hurricane thing bothered me as well. When has Ashley ever been in Savannah for a hurricane evacuation? It’s a nightmare I never want to relive.
What do they mean when they refer to “the low country”? I’ve heard this phrase a couple of times now and was wondering.
Just think of it as the coastal areas.
Thanks!
I love that expression, “the low country”, thanks for asking and answer,was curious, just sounds special. Ashley did have a great bathing suit. Catherine is so annoying to me, I’m referring to her as “shamelessly acting like a dumb blonde”. I’m still attempting to somehow connect with something on this show, but except for a bathing suit, not so much. Lol.
This latest web design requires that you choose one image to be featured on the front page listing. If you forget to do it, it either randomly picks one of the photos from the piece or doesn’t use a photo at all. Apparently last night when I once again forgot, it chose a photo of Kathryn. So weird. Just noticing that.
“People in the South…”, Gawd, if one of them says this one more time I might throw something at the TV. Whatever crap has been spewed after those four words has been wrong every single time. Especially about girl’s getting married right out of school. I have girls this age and I know of no mother that had that expectation. Myself and every other mother I know raised their girls to have the ability to be independent minded women. And, yes, we hope our children find a life partner, have children (if they want them), work in fields that provide security, and live nearby. BUT, most of all we want them to be independent and happy.
As someone not being from the south, I don’t take too much stock in anything these fools say. Hope that helps a tiny bit. ??
Thanks, Cheryl. Yes, it does help.
I don’t know why I keep watching this show. Ashley is the only one I like and she pissed me off too, right off the bat cause she lives right there and should know what she was talking about. (Anthropology is my first love.) I keep saying I won’t watch this stupid show again. There is clearly something wrong with me if I do.
Lots of people work “straight” jobs for benefits alone. It’s actually a pretty smart move if you work for yourself or as an independent contractor. Healthcare, even under the Affordable Care Act can be expensive. In the corporate world I’ve known a number of women who worked part time in department/retail stores and had the best wardrobes because of the discounts and extra $’s.