When last we left this group we has suffered through a deplorable dinner party thrown by one old crone who is jealous of a twenty something with addiction issues and attended by another who displayed the world’s most deplorable manners by dictating how others should behave in her presence. They both did so in horrific rayon muumuus cover in dog photos. If you had not watched the last episode, you might think I am making this up. I am not. It was worse than the time Patti threw a bunch of dollar store inflatable flamigo beer cozies in her pool and thought it was a civilized event.
At the end, Cameran was sick of everyone butting into Kathryn and Thomas’ relationship. Um Cameran is on of the prime busybodies in everyone’s business. Shep called everyone fucking stupid for not wanting to film with Kathryn anymore, because there is seriously no show without her and he likes the paycheck.
Craig found out that his thesis was accepted and he is now free to take the bar. Spoiler alert, he passes on his first attempt. But on a more serious note, why does he have a flimsy IKEA desk smack dab in the middle of the living room with cords going everywhere? Gizmo seems to like it because Craig dumped out a bunch of treats there so that someone could celebrate the good news with him.
Craig and Naomie go to dinner to celebrate his accomplishment and Naomie is thrilled and congratulates Craig and gives him a big old kiss right on the smacker. Oh wait. That didn’t happen Naomie’s response was along the lines of “It about time” and she pointed out it is a bigger weight off her shoulders than his. I still firmly believe this drama is strictly so they will have a storyline. Happy relationships make for boring TV. But if this is really how Naomie is, Craig needs to cut bait and fish again. Then she smugly said, “It feels good to do what you are supposed to do, doesn’t it?” She’s just awful.
Chelsea and Cameran did a HomeGoods commercial.
Shep calls Cameran to invite her to lunch with Kathryn, Craig and Whitney. He rightly points out that Thomas has just as many issues as Kathryn and he gets a pass. He doesn’t think that is fair. Amazingly, Cameran agrees and says she will come to the luncheon. They haven’t seen each other since the reunion. That didn’t go well.
Thomas and Landon are going to dinner. This is completely fake storyline. Landon is beyond carried away with it. In her confessional, she informs us that if she would agree to a relationship with Thomas that he would quickly put a ring on it and buy her all the horses she ever wanted. But she is just not sure. Lord, I hate this sea creature and her delusions.
Landon and Thomas meet up at 492, a restaurant that looks like someplace that old people eat. Never heard of it. I haven’t been anywhere with the outdated double table cloth since 1997. It just gets weirder from there. Thomas comments on some sort of shoe string with red glass baubles and she says it is from Turkey. This lead drunk Thomas to inform us that turquoise comes from Turkey. (nope) Then Thomas spills his wine because he is “nervous.” Is nervous the new word for coked up that kids use today? Landon tosses her head back and does her squinty-eyed fake laugh. I think I may have to fast forward through this before the set up lady proclaims that Landon and Thomas are soul mates. Oh there it is. This woman may be more drunk than Thomas.
It’s time for lunch with Kathryn at California Dreaming. Cameran has opted to bring Whitney along for moral support. Why do I like Whitney this season? WHHHHY? But I do. Cameran and Whitney both are very kind to Kathryn. Very nice. That must have been a very stern talking to by production. But it does seem like these two have come around a bit. Cameran is prettier when she is kind. It was a really nice little lunch.
Craig and Austen go golfing at a real golf course with a dress code. None got nekkid. Craig’s pants were full of awesome. I love Craig. We get dueling scenes of Austen talking about Chelsea to Craig while Shep goes to “get his hair cut” by Chelsea. Austen basically says that if Shep were to try to come in between his relationship with Chelsea that would be the end of his relationship with both of them. Craig says that Shep used to hit on Naomie when they first started dating.
Deidre, Saint and Kensie’s nanny are talking like they are husband and wife. Deidre says to Thomas, “So we need to have a discussion about who you are going to invite to Saint’s party.” Excuse me? Side note, Kensie is so adorable. Thomas calls his dad to let him know about the party. He says he has a dentist appointment at 2:30 and if they pull it he is not coming. Um why not? I realize I have the best dentist in the entire universe, but I cracked a tooth that needed to be pulled and it didn’t hurt a bit and there was no pain at all afterward. I finished running errands before I came home. I do believe the situation with Thomas and is father is real. That makes it even sadder.
Whitney drops by and tells Thomas he will be in LA on the day of Saint’s party but his mother will come. (Because she was forced to). They act like Thomas is trying to decide whether or not to invite Kathryn but this entire party is Kathryn’s first all cast filming for the show.
Landon and her hired boyfriend go to Home Team where over a bowl of collard greens she tells him that she designed ROAM without checking to see if the name was already taken so she could not incorporate because it was. Now it has some other stupid name. I was not going to cover this scene at all but then Landon questioned Drew’s southern heritage when he said he eats collards on New Year’s day. NO! The fucking moron insists, that’s blackeyed peas. It’s both Drew correctly replies. This bitch need to have her southern card revoked. Then out of the blue Landon cries and breaks up with Drew because she is an old hen with dried up eggs. Or Drew wants out of his Bravo contract.
Kathryn meets Elizabeth at Carmella’s which is apparently a new coffee house in Charleston. It look very pricey. This entire episode every single person’s name has been put of on the screen except for Elizabeth, the one person I needed a little help with. It is Saint’s birthday and Kathryn is sad. If she has passed all her drug tests as she claims why is she just now appealing to the court to see her children? IDGI!!!
Thomas sent Kathryn a letter via Elizabeth inviting her to Saint’s party.
Next week: Cunty Cameran returns trashing Kathryn with the old bitty en route to the birthday party. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Perhaps the lunch at California Dreaming was filmed later. Kathryn came in late and had a lot of catch up filming to do.