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You are here: Home / Below Deck / Below Deck Mediterranean: All Chained Up And No Place To Go

Below Deck Mediterranean: All Chained Up And No Place To Go

May 23, 2017 by tamaratattles 29 Comments


When last we left the naked guests in Croatia, they were oblivious to the fact that the winds were picking up and the stern tie was no longer keeping the boat tethered. If the crew doesn’t do something fast, the prettiest boat ever on Below Deck will crash into the rocky cliffs.  So Captain Sandy tells Max to get into the tender, which seems more like a fancy inflatable raft than an actual boat to me, and push the giant yacht away from the rocks. Neither Max nor myself see any logic in this at all. But Captain Sandy knows a lot more than Max and I do. I pretend to be a lot of things on the Internet, but a yacht captain is not even on my resume of fake Internet credentials. The tender is able to nudge the ship and two anchors are dropped to secure the boat.

With the latest crisis averted, the crew can go back to squabbling with each other about nothing. And the gross naked people continue to befoul the beds and furniture. So gross. Lauren has been doing nothing but ironing in a tiny room this entire crew. 

Bobby tries to make friends with Hannah again by blaming Lauren for all the conclusions that he jumped to about Hannah.  They hug it out, but we all know this truce is temporary.

The guests have invited Captain Sandy to dinner. Hannah is worried about dinner service. She finds a tearful Lauren ironing away and freaks out that she won’t be much help with dinner, so she asks Malia to be second stew for the night. I have a feeling that Captain Sandy is not going to appreciate that. Malia is a deckhand and just because she is female that doesn’t make her available to be a stew whenever one is needed. Oh and Malia is supposed to be on anchor watch. It’s her first time on anchor watch, and she seems to be spending most of her time in the kitchen flirting with Adam.

Thing with the dinner went very well. Thankfully, Captain Sandy excused herself before desert because it’s two boob cakes for each guest served by the crew in over sized T-shirts that make them appear to be in tiny bikinis or thongs.  The cake was VERY late coming out, but a big hit. After dinner, Malia hangs around to wash dishes because she is up on anchor watch anyway, so she needs something to keep her occupied. Apparently, actually watching the anchor is not on her list of ideas to keep herself occupied.

Is it me are is there a dead child story on every reality show I’ve recapped since the Manchester attacks? It’s a struggle just to keep my mind off of the tragedy, and my personal concern for someone working over there. In this episode, Hannah shares with Bugsy, who is grieving the recent passing of her grandmother, that he brother died of an illness when we was ten and she was almost six. All those videos that I watched about parents whose kids are missing since the bombing are now rolling in my head.

So while Malia was serving boob cakes and posting for Instagram photos with naked people, the boat drifted and began spinning in the wind. The guests even pointed it out during dinner. So now the two anchors are all wrapped around one another. The only possible fix for this is for someone to dive into the water and manually unravel the knots. And by someone, I mean Wes. Because who else could even do this? As Captain Sandy explains the knotted anchor chains are a giant version of a knotted necklace. They decide to wake up Bobby to add to the clusterfuck. He makes things worse. Captain Sandy puts him in the tender to get him and his negativity away from her. But once in the tender he continues to argue with the Captain over how things need to be done. He would never do that with Captain Lee. So disrespectful.

Seven hours after the departure time they call a water taxi to take the guest on the two hour trip back to Split. They still can’t untangle the anchors so they may be forced to cut them off. Wow.

Meanwhile, Lauren apologizes to Bugsy for letting her minor problems with Bobby get in the way of her work when Bugs is going through a serious loss and struggling about whether to go home or stay the course.  The Captain lets all the girls go for a swim.

Apparently, it is illegal to pull into port without anchors. If they have to cut the anchors the season is screwed. After over eight hours of trying to manually untangle the knots, we’re out of time. And the dreaded To Be Continued pops up on screen…

So I went running to the comforting arms of Captain Lee to see what he was saying.  A tweeter asked if he had ever had anchors get twisted like this. He said, “I’m sorry. I am not going to comment on this. I hope you understand.”

This is bad.  That said, even Captain Lee has made some mistakes on the show. I am confident Captain Sandy will get it worked out. I blame Malia.

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Bobby Giancola, Bugsy Drake, Captain Sandy Yawn, Hannah Ferrier, Lauren Cohen, Malia White, Max Hagley, Wes Walton

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Katie16ut says

    May 23, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    I would blame Hannah before malia. Malia is deck crew and was just trying to help out the team. Malia should have told Hannah early on that she was on anchor watch, but with Hannah being chief stew it may have been hard for malia to say no. When the captain saw her working dinner service she should have pulled Hannah aside when she excused herself from the table.

    Reply
    • Karen says

      May 24, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Doesn’t the deck crew have their own boss that should have stepped in an insisted Malia do her job?

      Reply
    • timtoodles says

      May 24, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Hannah asked Malia if she would be willing to help pending Max’s approval. I assume Max must have approved it. Max’s fault. However I’d rather just blame Bobby.

      Reply
  2. Sssss says

    May 24, 2017 at 1:54 am

    It’s amazing to see how the deck crew treat Sandy differently than Lee or mark. Bobby’s insubordinace was gross.

    Bugsy summed up the debacle very succinctly when she surmised too much chain was dropped for the depth the boat was in. As a non boater that seems like a logical thing that could cause problems. The boat could have been dragged into shallower waters due to the previous issue that came up (anchors not heavy for the vessel size/windy weather combo), but someone did some math poorly.

    I loved seeing bugsy’s wtf are you talking about face when Lauren was “apologizing” aka trying to bring more attention to herself. Ugh. I’m seeing shades of Rocky’s sanity slowly degrading in the laundry room.

    Reply
  3. Karen says

    May 24, 2017 at 7:18 am

    It really bothers me that the crew refers to the captain as Sandy and not Captain Sandy. I don’t remember them ever saying Lee instead of Captain Lee. And I respect that Captain Lee won’t comment on the anchor debacle, but I kept thinking while I was watching the show that he would never let that happen. After all, he IS the Stud of the Sea.

    Reply
    • BnCtrKiki (@BnCtrKiki) says

      May 24, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      I believe they address her as Sandy because that is how she introduced herself. She does not say Captain Sandy when she calls them on the radio either. I think she is about ready to drown Bobby and his mealy mouthed comments.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        May 24, 2017 at 4:46 pm

        Captain Lee doesn’t say it on the radio either.

        Reply
  4. SLM says

    May 24, 2017 at 8:47 am

    I’ve had the WORST mental block getting into this show because I’ve inexplicably had a terrible time trying to remember anyone’s names except Bobby, Hannah and the Captain! I’m starting to get it all sorted and now I’m really feeling it. Bobby clearly has issues with women. He always seems on the verge of losing his shit with them or actively going off on them, Captain Sandy included. He also spends way too much time (tellingly) talking about how he ISN’T aggressive with women even though everyone thinks he is…which points out how deep seated it all is. The anchor issue was really stressing me out. Those chains must be really heavy, I can’t see how anyone could really untangle them manually.

    Reply
  5. Spunky2015 says

    May 24, 2017 at 9:56 am

    I think Malia had watch later that night because she said she went to bed at 3:00 am and they were on 3 hour shifts. That ship must have sonar to tell the depth of the water. Yes, too much chain. Not liking Lauren and Bobby, of course.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 24, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      That may very well be the case, but at DINNER the guest said the boat was rotating. The whole point of anchor watch is to make sure that is not happening.From dinner to dawn, how did none of the people on the three hour shifts notice that the boat was rotating, apparently SEVERAL TIMES.

      This crew is horrible.

      Reply
      • Spunky2015 says

        May 24, 2017 at 2:54 pm

        I agree. Someone was asleep at the wheel. Pretty sad when guests notice and not the crew or captain.

        Reply
      • SLM says

        May 24, 2017 at 3:39 pm

        I thought the same thing, I just found it almost incomprehensible that the guests noticed the boat spinning in place, but NONE of the crew with experience working at sea did?! How is that possible?

        Reply
        • Janjira Williams says

          May 25, 2017 at 12:42 am

          If you remember,it was made clear at beginning of show that only couple of crews are experience. The rest are there to provide drama, tv rating&what have you.lol.

          Reply
      • Gapeachinsc says

        May 24, 2017 at 10:06 pm

        I think it’s like Bugs said and too much chain was dropped. Bobby already admitted he had a hard time calculating when Sandy is telling them how much to drop, and I think she repeats it twice when she’s telling him and he’s not sure exactly how much she means but he doesn’t ask for clarification. Stupid.

        Reply
        • Gapeachinsc says

          May 24, 2017 at 10:14 pm

          And I could be wrong but I think it’s OK if the boat/yacht turns, as long as it doesn’t drift or too much chain is dropped

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            May 24, 2017 at 11:05 pm

            TOTALLY WRONG.

            Because you see the ANCHOR…oh nevermind.

            Reply
            • gapeachinsc says

              May 25, 2017 at 3:31 pm

              LOL!!!! I KNOW, I KNOW!! As soon as I posted it I sort of made a mental diagram in my mind and thought it through and actually laughed cause it kind of defeats the purpose of an anchor…I actually started to post “scratch that last comment” but figured my idiocracy should be on display for all to see.

            • tamaratattles says

              May 25, 2017 at 5:20 pm

              It was funny. Every single time someone starts a comment here with, I might be wrong and then proceeds to explain something to us all, it is almost ALWAYS wrong. 🙂

  6. pokerplayer says

    May 24, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    Bobby is so annoying on so many levels, I would hate to have to be around him, he’s really horrible…Lauren is such a winey, needy crybaby. It was weird and awkward on the episode when she face timed Ben and she kept saying over and over, “I miss you, I miss you”, after like the 5th time Ben finally said, “I miss you too”. I don’t think he missed her at all, I think he just wanted her to stop saying that.

    I know they have to make a TV show and create drama however if I were a yacht Captain I would have a rule that crew members are (not) allowed to date each other what so ever until after the charter season has ended. Dating a co-worker causes too much B/S and unnecessary drama at the work place. I know what I’m talking about because years ago when I worked in the hotel business I made the mistake of dating my supervisor and it was disastrous. After we stopped dating when he would tell me to do something and if I didn’t feel like doing it I would just tell him to “f..k off” and if he tried to get me in trouble I would tell the general manager that we had hooked up so he would just say nothing more. After a while I felt bad because of the hurt look in his eyes when I would cuss him out.

    It’s interesting how the crew calls the Captain, Sandy, not by her title. They didn’t do that to Capt. Lee or the other male Captain did they?

    Reply
  7. tamaratattles says

    May 24, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    It wouldn’t surprise me if Captain Sandy told them to call her Sandy. She doesn’t maintain the boundaries that the two male captains do. She seems to want to be one of the girls.

    Reply
    • pokerplayer says

      May 24, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      Oh yeah, I didn’t think of that…maybe that will come up later, maybe not.

      Reply
  8. Randi says

    May 24, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    As anyone who’s ever got a necklace twisted up knows, they’re in for a bitch of a job untangling that thing. What a nightmare.

    I am rooting for Captain Sandy, but I am going to need her to show some more leadership and stop trying to be a friend and be a boss.

    Reply
    • pokerplayer says

      May 24, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Yes I agree with you…

      Reply
  9. T D says

    May 24, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    A miss is as good as 6,080.27 feet. Sorry, knot sorry.

    Reply
  10. T Sparkman says

    May 25, 2017 at 9:36 am

    Seems like Captain Lee has plenty to say about the crew members but when it comes to actions by another “Captain”, Lee is silent. What’s the big deal about answering a question whether mistakes were made on the ship’s anchor?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 25, 2017 at 11:41 am

      Because it is poor form to judge another person’s job skills in a public forum. As for the crew, he has worked with the crew and it is part of HIS job to evaluate the crew.

      Reply
  11. Peachy Keen says

    May 25, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Will be interesting to view the outcome of “anchorgate”…

    Reply
  12. T D says

    May 25, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Chains have taken more than one person somewhere if you know how to use them. Can’t remember the last time a wild thing moved me.

    Reply
  13. Heidi says

    May 27, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    I’m surprised that nobody is commenting on how the crew was treated by the Naked TV people or whoever they were. They were the kindest, most appreciative guests of any season that I can remember – on par with RHOA Cynthia’s trip and one of the Women’s Only trips. I immediately judged them before seeing their trip and I hate myself for it. Can’t wait to see what kind of a tip they left.

    Bobby drives me nuts. I seriously can’t handle how he treats women, and judging by how close he and his mom are I’m surprised by this. He knows better.

    Reply

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