By Guest Contributor Becky J.
Did you miss RHOP cuz there wasn’t a new episode last week? I didn’t. I keep trying, but this season isn’t really doing it for me. Still, I’m committed (or should I be committed?) so here we go. The first scene is Monique visiting one of her rental properties. She has a bunch of houses, we get it. Bo-ring.
Karen is working on a charity event (surprise, surprise) for a rape survivors organization called PAVE. She reveals in a very produced interview with PAVE’s founder that she was date-raped by some sleazebag in college. Now it makes a little more sense why she was freaking out so bad over her daughter going away to college. The founder of PAVE, Angela Rose, shares a little bit of her story, which is harrowing. Apparently she was kidnapped when she was 17. I was hating all the charity this, etiquette that, business last season on Potomac, but this felt different. In my opinion, this is It’s one of the more heartfelt and authentic housewives charity moments. Much less showy than LVP crying over dog meat or crazy LeeAnne on RHO Dallas acting like being a former carnie helps her understand women with AIDS.
Meanwhile, Gizelle and Robyn are planning an ambush on Ashley. They get all dressed up and act like they’re just going out, but they are planning a calculated scene to confront Ashley about spreading the rumors about Juan having a girlfriend. I blame Gizelle (as usual) for stirring the pot, playing both sides and getting Robyn all jacked up. They drive all the way to Ashley’s restaurant, Oz, to get in her face. It’s tacky and awful. I just kept thinking Robyn sure is acting mad for somebody who claims to not care if Juan has a girlfriend. It’s so tacky and I think Ashley would have been fully justified to call the cops or smash a glass on them.
Charrisse has an awkward conversation about her failing marriage with her daughter in a stationary store. Skylar is obviously uncomfortable and starts crying. Charrisse justifies this gross display of poor maternal judgement by saying her daughter gives great advice. She’s a sick bitch if she thinks it’s okay to expose a teenage girl to this kind of pain and humiliation on camera. Ugh, Charrisse is The. Absolute. Worst. I need her off my TV to go get her shit together and fade away.
Monique and Chris are going on a fashing date. She’s wearing a maxi dress and has her own pink fishing pole and chair. I’m fascinated watching her stab a worm with a hook with her giant rock and white manicured nails. That’s the most interesting thing about this scene. She seems to ponder and talk a lot about her marriage for somebody so happily married. She catches a big eel. Insert inappropriate joke here.
Gizelle helps Karen with some volunteer work at a community garden. She just showed up because she wanted to wear her Hunter boots with short-shorts and gossip. Karen lets it slip (in a calculated move to create drama) that Monique called Gizelle a “trick” after kicking her out of the backyard bbq. Gizelle gets all indignant like it’s the first time anybody has ever called her a trick. She bashes Monique, saying she’s uneducated and can’t speak words that are more than four letters. Pretty sure T-R-I-C-K is five letters, but Gizelle is super committed her self-righteousness, so whatever.
There’s an awful scene with Robyn and Juan. She’s trying to pin him down on details about his upcoming basketball camps and he’s a total fucking prick to her. It’s hard to understand why he’s so dismissive, but she doesn’t stand up for herself. Their dynamic is really sick. He stalks off and mutters to a producer that he’s so done with their relationship. He’s still wearing his mic and he says he only stays with Robyn because of the kids and he wants more. Yuck, this is be-yond. I feel even more sorry for her now. But then I consider the fact they could be savvy enough to be pretending for the cameras because they’re broke? Maybe they know they are dominating the storyline this season and decided to keep milking it. Hmmm…
Charrisse and Robyn go to lunch with Dr. Jeff. They both start crying because their husbands cheated on them. Dr. Jeff must be RICH, bitch.
At Karen’s charity event, Ashley is a grown-up and says “hi” to Gizelle and Robyn. Gizelle won’t even speak to her. She’s so rotten. As if we didn’t see her on camera just two episodes ago encouraging Ashley to talk about the Juan rumor. Gizelle and Robyn ignore the seating assignments and sit at a table by themselves. Then they look like couple of petty assholes after Karen shares her story of sexual assault and they are fighting over nothing.
After the event, Monique and Ashley approach Gizelle and Charrisse, who is still harboring a grudge against Ashley for no reason. [Not letting herself be bullied? Telling the truth about how pathetic Charrisse is? Trying to advise her on ugly ball gowns?] Monique asks Gizelle for her number, presumably so they can try (again) to sort out their differences. Gizelle refuses and then stalks off, immediately spinning the situation into some sort of attack from Monique, which was absolutely not the case.
This episode made me as tired as the storylines.
I was sick listening to Juan talk shit on Robyn. What a fuck face.
Hell and thank you for the reap:
Monique – is so boring and if she wasn’t so hood, I would say she was pretentious but I think that is what she tries to be. I tried to fastforward through her scenes but realized it was live tv.
Ashley- Is so young and dumb…the restaurant was not full, I am baffled as to how she was working hard busting three tables; also she does not realize the damage she has made in her friendships. I cant wait to see next week when she threatens to end the marriage if husband “Emu” says he is going to close the restaurant. She is unaware, he can replace her very quickly with someone much less ambitious and younger, money talks..bull sh– walks.
Gizzelle- I just noticed she does not have a story line and her make-up is horrific, she looks like she has aged ten years since last season….I am much like her re-branding, rebuilding after a marriage (he died), however it would have failed if he were still alive. She has no self awareness what so ever. She also dresses in full prom attire at all times…lol.
Karen- she has calmed down a lot this season, something is going on (money wise) behind the scenes. Also if she and Monique has this money they brag about I think they should have graduated from Luis Vuitton and Gucci bags by now, those are for beginners. At least carry the higher end ones without the logos….no offense to anyone.
Robyn- Beautiful and stupid.
Oh yea Charrise- Go very very far away…why was she wearing a bandage dress to a (rape) charity event? Why would she tell her daughter about an impending divorce in a stationary store? Why is she building a wine room in a house she will have to sale? Why didn’t she just say hello to Ashley and take the mature road? Why are her wigs so horrible? Why is her wardrobe so dated? Too many why’s not enough answers, please help!!!
Mrs. Barber I absolutely loved your entire post!! H I L A R I O U S!! I’m in stitches!!
Thank you Whine and Shade, I typically stroll the site everyday, I love Tamara and her commentors…
Great recap Becky!
Mrs. Barber I agree with your comment 100%!
Monique needs to see Karen for the living cautionary tale that she is with regards to finance. I you over spend you run into money issues later. No one on this show is a Billionaire. The fact that Karen refuses(my guess is can’t afford) to renovate her homes speaks volumes in addition to her refusal to let the agent post a ‘For Sale’ sign because Karen is embarrassed they are forced to downsized.
The positive about Monique and Karen’s presence on this show is when they’re with their husbands they appear to be truly happy and that’s nice to see.
Gizzelous Gizzelle is an envious(hence the green eyes), insecure, thirsty chic who needs to have an entire stadium of seats.
Robyn is a huge disappointment for following Gizzelle to Ashley’s restaurant. That was low on all levels and given Robyn and Juan’s financial troubles(which I believe is the only reason besides the boys that Juan sticks around for now) she should know better than to mess with a woman’s money. Ashley should have called the cops to escort them out of there.
Speaking of Ashley, she is messy but I appreciate her ability to be real and to stand up for herself. In the episode where they were at the horse race, Ashley shared with the ladies that her restaurant is failing and is therefore causing her marriage to potentially fail. That is where Gizzelous got the fuel to make the comment to Ashley to focus on her failing restaurant and marriage. I can appreciate people like Ashley that put their REAL life out there on a reality TV show unlike Gizzelle who has no story line because she attempts to hide the mess of a person she is.
Charisse is not worth a comment, LOL.
Hello LaNY…I agree with your comments as well. My husband also placed our house for sale. I was the Realtor, he didn’t want a lock box or signs in the yard, I thought it was stupid but I think when you are in a position and have to downsize it is embarrassing for some, however, who cares. Karen’s children have moved out she needs a smaller home with updated appliances. I think Monique and her hubby will have money for awhile, property is one of the smartest things one can invest in She can always go back to the bachelor pad with the floating condoms. I wouldn’t say Gizelle is jealous of Monique, she is more angry at her situation. She thinks she is so “the word on the street” and her life does not reflect that one bit. Hell my house is better than hers and I do not think I am the word on anyone’s street at least I hope not…simply because the word on the street is Gizelle is a Hoe…hahahahaha…I kill me!!!!
I too think Gazzelle is mad at her pathetic situation she calls life, but I also think she is very, very, VERY envious and jealous of Monique. My tv gets that fluorescent green glow on it every time she appears on it. It’s either jealousy or she’s an alien, I haven’t figured that one out yet!!!
Sorry I meant Hello!!!!
Couldn’t watch the show last night. Love your recap though. I did see Monique’s freshly unpacked, pink chair while “fishing”. Chris is not svelte… The inappropriate eel joke had me laughing. Thanks.. needed that. Good job on all comments in the recap!
Only recall four letters and “trick”, and I think my episode cut off early, but didn’t miss anything or else wasn’t paying attention. The usual. This season is sooo slow, still shocked it was picked up, more so now after a couple episodes in.
But thank you for a great recap. Your a trooper.
I’m liking karen more this season and I liked her even more last night. She looks prettier this season too.
She does right… Her hair is much better and she has a softness about her… I guess it’s from relating that horrific story..you saw a more in-depth side to her she was really feeling that pain sincerely and that was what Karen was lacking… Sincerity in her scenes.
Karen has definitely calmed it down this season and I’m glad her nose isn’t turnt up like last season. Robyn and Gizelle are both back to being nasty and should take a page from Karen’s book.
As for Ashley, I love that she still speaks to the women who have a problem with her no matter what. That has been one of my biggest pet peeves with the housewives shows. They all claim to be grown women but some can’t either utter hello for stupid reasons. (flash back to season 4 of rhoa)
Is Ashley really being the most grown up of these ladies. Keep on taking the high road. It’s the best look. These so called society women who trashed her last season and call out everyone on their etiquette and class surely have shown none when they went in a woman’s place of business like thugs in a cocktail dress.
I agree great to see a softer more approachable side of Karen. I also love her real charity work that is not just about putting on airs or cameras it’s a real situation she has dealt with and can therefore make a difference since she is close to the cause.
Just watching this episode – Ashley was rude and disrespectful AF when she tried to “meet” Eddie and when she talked about Robyn’s situation at a damn cookout, so, she sort of had a cuss out coming. But to go to Ashley’s place of business – these wenches were out of order. Robyn appeared to be the sane one in this bunch, but no longer. She should stop trying to make the fact that she and Juan need the RHOP check into a relationship. Just stop.
Why do both Charrisse & Robyn live in LaLa land when it comes to their “men”. Charrisse asking her daughter how she feel about her dad not being there, like everybody knows that he was never there so why should she feel any kind of way. Charrisse knows her husband hasn’t been there for the past few years. She’s so delusional. Robyn so hyped up to confront Ashley but she can’t or won’t confront Juan for blatantly disrespecting & disregarding her. Juan’s actions this week, should be the last straw for Robyn.