Catfish: Colleen & Tony

After the last Catfish recap I did with the model and the pro basketball player, I imagine whatever happens on this episode will pale in comparison.  That said, I hate getting behind on Catfish episodes because they literally run these episodes in overnight marathon all the time and it brings a different crowd to the site.

Colleen is 20 years old and lives in Spokane. She met Tony on Plenty of Fish three years ago he’s 27. Max makes several jokes about all the catfish on Plenty of Fish.  Tony used to live in another city in Washington but recently confessed he moved to Baton Rouge.  Tony’s photo is of a really good looking guy. The usual catfish markers are there, hot photo, no social media, no video chatting, etc. Oh and they are engaged. If he is not the guy in the photo she’ll be fine with it because she is in love with his personality. Um, no.

When we arrive at Colleen’s house, the kitchen is freshly painted, or CGIeda  in shade of taupe. She immediately confesses to her first lie. She has only know Tony for three months, not three years. So she is a lying liar who lies as well. This is good news because now she will have more things in common with Tony. He proposed after a month.

The important part is the furniture. It looks like the usual new brown couches but they both have weird blankets on top of them.

They guys have nothing but Tony’s likely fake Plenty of Fish profile and two phone numbers. Both phone numbers are Spokane numbers. This means it is likely someone she knows. So they call Tony. The name the phone is registered too appears to belong to a guy in his 60s. The guy on the phone sound a lot older than 27.  Tony says he is worried that Colleen is not the person she claims to be. He says that Colleen initially lied about her age. She also claims she lost her job and he has been sending her money. Nev asks if he really is the guy in the photos and he says he is. He also says he lives in Baton Rouge. Then he suddenly had to get off the phone.

Back at Colleen’s place, she says her profile has always said she was 20, she never told him she was 25, and she never asked him for money but he did send her $75 unprompted after she lost her job. Nev calls Tony and he agrees to meet Colleen in Baton Rouge. He also confesses he is not the guy in the photo.

They pull up to the house and the storm shutters are covering all the windows. It’s kind of creepy. I am fully expecting a 69 year old white man. Instead, it’s a well dressed, attractive young black man. This could end well. Then Colleen goes in on Tony for lying about her lying about her age. He really has no explanation for that. Tony literally gets down on his knees and begs Colleen to forgive him and marry him. She says yes. Tony says that his family will not accept him marrying a white woman. But he wants her to go meet them anyway. Dammit. Just when we thought this would end well.

So they head over to cousin Marcus’ house and meet Tony’s sister. Do they buy the brown leather couches in bulk or do they just drive the same ones from house to house? The house has been completely staged and the family is in the proper clothing with no logos. On second look, this couch may not be new. Also, cousin Marcus looks mixed so it seems like some people in the family are just fine with the swirl.

The sister is crying, mostly because he kept the relationship a secret from her.  But eventually, they work it out. At the two month check in,  Tony, who really goes by Jeremy, was in Spokane with Colleen. He is going to take a job at a pizza place and they will live happily ever after.

That never happens.