This week is a double episode week since I didn’t recap last week’s show. Editor’s Note: This is not a double recap, Daintyfeets is going through a lot right now. I’ll put up the current episode whenever she is up to sending it.
In the meantime, last weeks show centered around the dreaded coffin scenes that they do every season where someone pretends to be dead and the other someone pretends to mourn them. I’ve always hated that part of the show and since I recently lost my father, it was just really hard to watch. I look forward to the screaming, yelling, hysteria and general chaos that usually abounds. That’s my entertainment. Instead I found myself actually agreeing with the Doctors more often than not.
Chad and Paula
Paula is defensive, belligerent, angry and bitter. Chad doesn’t understand why. During the coffin scene with Chad lying in the coffin we caught some insight into Paula’s pain. She says she doesn’t need to be at his funeral, his family needs to be there. Not her. To her, his family consist of his six kids and their baby mamas. The mothers don’t allow Paula to have any contact with the children because of her behavior. She feels left out and discarded and bemoans the fact there is no “we.” Chad has all his kids and for Paula it’s just her. Chad mentions her being a grandma and that she could be part of that “we.” Paula retorts that she doesn’t want to be a grandma to all those illegitimate kids.. Paula takes no responsibility for her part in abandoning Chad. If she can’t own up to her part, there is no hope. No hope for her, personally, in alleviating her pain, unburdening her guilt and possibly becoming part of Chad’s life. Ultimately, what it came down to is that Paula is afraid Chad doesn’t love her as a mother and feels Chad thinks she abandoned him. Maximo is in the coffin. Mike and Marc walk in (remember Mike has done this exercise before so he knows what’s going on) and Marc immediately deduces that Maximo is alive. Alive, he tells us. He can see him breathing through his shirt. Marc says he can’t fake emotion and he has loyalty tattooed on chest and the little back and forth is just fun and games. Dr. V checks him and says it’s not fun and games for Maximo. He took Marc’s contempt and his derision to the grave with him. She tells him he can be loyal and still be an asshole. She admonishes the boys to show one another respect. In their confessional, Maximo says they acted exactly like he thought they would, like total and complete assholes. Mike and Marc giggle.
The Abraham Family
The all-American Abraham family is next. Debra is in the coffin. Michael and Farrah walk in somberly. The doctors do a confessional first, and say this will be the hardest on Farrah since she lost the love of her life, the father of Sophia. This is complete bullshit. Derrick did pass away shortly before Sophia was born, but not before he dumped her pregnant ass. This is revisionist history and I will not abide.
Back to Debra in the coffin. Farrah is already getting weepy. It’s too much for her and she does her weepy, crying whisper. Debra forgets she is playing dead and says in her weepy, crying whisper that she gives everything she has and gets nothing back and she is tired of it. Debra and Farrah then start hurling accusations of abuse against one another. Dr V states the obvious, that there are serious issues in this family and they need to start being honest with one another.
Kendra and Patti
Initially, I do not feel an ounce of sincerity in anything Kendra or her mother say. They are both in it for the exposure and the money so I pay their storyline little attention. Kendra and her Mom play estranged and Kendra cries because she is afraid to let her mom back into her life since Mom apparently sold stories to the tabloids and says awful things about her husband. Fragile Kendra makes sure she cries hard enough that she gets one-on-one camera time with Dr. V. Blah. Kendra explains to Dr. V that she has been burned so many times in the past the she is afraid to allow herself hope by showing positive feelings and being vulnerable because her mom will just ruin it again. Uh oh. This is how it was with me and my Mom. Now I’m starting to empathize with Kendra and Patti is starting to look like a little blue-eyed, redhead to me (that’s what my mom looked liked, who, by the way, passed away last year.) Now my vision is blurring up. Back to the funeral home room, Kendra walks in the room and Patti is in the coffin. Dr V tells Kendra she does want a relationship with her mother. Kendra starts weeping, almost convincingly, but no tears. I just can’t with her.
It’s time for evaluations, except there is no Judge Toller. Where’d she go? I love Judge Toller. Instead, they have substituted a “chore wheel” and the family that did punishable offenses has to spin the chore wheel. This week it’s Chad and Paula. They spin and they win the chore of mopping the floors. Paula says she has to work for her food and she feels like a slave on a plantation. Last we see Paula is mopping the kitchen floor, talking to herself saying “Massa, you proud of me?”
And on that note, I’m out.