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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Teen Mom OG Double Shot: Blue Christmas and Let’s Try to Get Along

Teen Mom OG Double Shot: Blue Christmas and Let’s Try to Get Along

May 10, 2017 by tamaratattles 11 Comments

By Guest Contributor Becky J.

In my opinion, Teen Mom OG is best consumed in a binge, so I’m thrilled that there were two new episodes and a hefty dose of aftershow this week.

Farrah

The show opens with Farrah hosting an event at her furniture store in Austin. It’s for realtors because she stages homes that are for sale. Farrah’s pretend friend Paola is there and the rest of the guests appear to be men. Farrah is wearing the engagement ring she bought herself and making a big deal about it. It’s pathetic. Not because she bought herself a nice piece of jewelry, but because instead of getting it resized or wearing it on her right hand, she just keeps harping about how Simon doesn’t want to get engaged.

Farrah flies to San Diego and meets up with Simon, who is helping her house hunt. He is now acting like a realtor and they see a couple houses. Farrah is a royal cuntface as usual. She says she doesn’t want to live in a neighborhood with a HOA because it limits her life, animals and creativity. We can only assume she wants to leave the back door open for on-site animal porn in the future. She’s so rude to Simon that I can’t figure out why he doesn’t drop her off in a pasture somewhere and never look back. I’ve said it before, but there’s no paycheck big enough…

Meanwhile, as this airs, Farrah is whoring for attention on the MTV Movie & TV awards red carpet. She’s wearing/culturally appropriating a hot pink sari, a bindi and sporting henna tattoos. Wait, I thought she didn’t do hate crimes?

 


Amber

In other large purchases made with misguided intentions, Matt “bought” a Corvette with Amber’s money and gave it to her for Christmas. It’s really gross. It occurs to me that this situation is a trashy version of when Slade got Gretchen the Rolls Royce in Season 8 of RHOC. Anyone? Later, they decorate the Xmas tree wearing adult onesies and it’s even more nauseating. Then we are rewarded for our suffering when Amber starts crying because Leah can only make one Christmas ornament at school and she wants to hang it on Gary’s tree. Amber freaking out in her Rudolph onesie with a giant bag of McDonald’s on her lap is why I keep watching this fucking show.

Catelynn

 

Cate is surprising Tyler with a getaway to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. He charmingly refers to it as “good ole J Hole” when he finds out where they’re going. I’m sure the Jackson Hole visitors bureau appreciates that. The trip looks nice, they ride snowmobiles and take a dip in a hot spring. Cate, who appears to be swimming in pants, expresses her gratitude for Tyler being such a supportive husband and father.

Maci

In an incredibly awkward interview with Producer, Kiki, Ryan mumbles that he is planning to propose to Mackenzie for Christmas. There’s something wrong with his eyes. He doesn’t blink like a normal person and doesn’t make eye contact. I really wish he didn’t look so much like a serial killer while sharing this exciting news. Ryan’s parents want Bently for Xmas. Maci makes a good point by saying that Ryan is Bentley’s father and Ryan is not asking to spend the holiday with his kid.

Ryan has planned a romantic, private dinner on a riverboat to warm Mackenzie up for the proposal. Of course, it’s super clunky and he has a giant chew in his lip. She agrees to “deal with” him forever and support him through what is sure to be a long battle with mouth and throat cancer. Just kidding, I’m awful and made that last part up. Kissing a guy with dead eyes and a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth must be super romantic.

Let’s Try to Get Along

Maci

Ryan FaceTimes Bentley to share his good news. Everybody is happy for him. Later, Maci meets Mackenzie for lunch and they discuss parenting. Apparently Bentley’s visitation with Ryan still takes place entirely at his parent’s home, even though Ryan and Mackenzie have a perfectly nice house. Maci confides that Benny begs her to stay home and it is revealed that Jen makes him sleep in bed with her when he stays. What the actual fuck?

Mackenzie is a miracle worker because later Ryan calls Bentley and asks if he would rather stay with him on visit weekends. Benny says yes of course and Ryan tells him okay cool. It’s all very reasonable and puts the best interests of the kid first. I can’t wait to see how that conversation goes with Jen and Larry.

Amber

Amber and Matt (why is Matt there? Can’t she do anything on her own?) are casting models for a fashion show to promote Amber’s dubiously dubbed online boutique, Forever Haute. Matt is super skeevy with the models. He takes a group pic with Amber surrounded by them and tells everyone to say “Forever Haute” but I swear it sounds like they say “Forever ‘Hoes.”

Amber’s business partner calls to check on the plans for the fashion show. They’re a month out and don’t have a budget, venue or theme. They don’t need an event coordinator because Amber knows how to “put together things.” Then, after realizing how much work it is to produce a fashion show, Amber decides to have a photo shoot instead.

Catelynn

Butch is patching holes in the walls at Ty and Cate’s old house. He seems depressed like he might go get high again. Cait and Tyler are bugging me this week. They seem to just hang around the house and go to see their pretend therapist a lot. Why aren’t they volunteering with pregnant teens considering adoption, in school or running businesses? Or Tyler could at least be over at the old house working with Butch to fix it up. And why is Nova always naked? I understand once or twice and I know two year olds are messy and wiggly (I have one), but she’s always in jammies or just a diaper. It’s creepy that they make a habit of letting her be on TV without clothes.

Farrah

Farrah is planning Sophia’s eighth birthday has invited her mom, which is sure to be a shit show. The day of the event arrives and Farrah is busily abusing all the living creatures in her home. She screams at her dad, tells her mom to shut up and spray paints her mini horse in an effort to make it look like a magical unicorn. It’s a slumber party with six little girls, but there is a red carpet with a step and repeat, a hired princess and a eight-tier birthday cake. Debra has a belly shirt and a rainbow painted on her face. Farrah is wearing a bathrobe and complaining how her childhood birthday parties weren’t good enough. It’s insane and so are Farrah and her mom.

On the first aftershow, Nessa is reading my mind. She confronts Ryan about his chew during the proposal, but quickly drops it because she’s not as rude as me. She also interviews Javi from TM2, who reveals that Lincoln spilled the beans to him about Kailyn’s pregnancy. On the second aftershow, it’s hella awkward because Cate, Maci and Amber still aren’t filming with Farrah. So, Farrah gives slutty makeovers to some single moms while the other girls model Amber’s Haute clothes. Amber actually looks thinner when she isn’t buried in a hoody or stupid onesie! I have to eat my words cuz Catelynn talks about how she and Ty are launching a business. Guess what it is? Children’s clothing! Oh the irony.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News, Teen Mom Tagged With: Amber Portwood, Catelynn Lowell, Entertainment News, Farrah Abraham, Maci Bookout, MTV, Taylor McKinney, Teen Mom, Teen Mom OG, Tyler Baltierra

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Cheryl B. (@cherylannburke1) says

    May 10, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Thank you Becky J. These two episodes really were so great due to so much being wrong. I don’t know how, but it seems like them becoming adults is more disastrous than teen parents. Lol.

    Reply
  2. RoadMan says

    May 10, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    For someone that just lost a father to cancer, to casually read that part about a future filled with cancer, really irked me. Ryan is a pathetic father and a loser but I would never joke about things such a cancer, really poor form.

    Reply
  3. Lucy Loo says

    May 10, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    Great recap Becky J!

    That was the most awkward, staged, uncomfortable to watch proposal I’ve ever seen. His biggest worry was that the champagne bottles weren’t standard sized..
    The delicate wad of chew was a nice touch.

    The shot of Farrahs dogs in that tiny cage gave me anxiety.

    40+ yr old Matt oogling the young models was beyond creepy.
    .

    Reply
  4. Jerseygirl says

    May 10, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    Your Recaps are awesome!!

    Reply
  5. Christi says

    May 10, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    I’m sorry but Amber in that reindeer onesie crying over an ornament made me laugh. She and Leah can make ornaments at home. Amber needs to realize that she lost a lot of bonding time with her daughter when she chose to go to prison. She should be grateful that he stepped up during that time to give her daughter a stable home. It is not surprising that Leah might feel more secure around Gary.
    I completely understand Maci wanting her children to be together on Christmas morning and if Ryan had stepped up to the plate from the beginning then their holiday issues might have been resolved long ago. Bentley may be a child but he is a person and if he wants to spend Christmas with his brother and sister then they should let him. Maci should be honest and tell them that Bentley chose where he wanted to go.
    Why does anyone want to be around Farrah?

    Reply
    • Twilly says

      May 10, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      Bentley is like Jace, they are very clear about what they want and WHO they want to be with. There shouldn’t be any shame in their decisions. Mac would have saved herself a lot of grief if she just told Ryan, Jen and whatshisname that Bentley chose to spend Thanksgiving with her.

      Reply
  6. liz Cope says

    May 10, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    I think either Ryan is on drugs or has some form of autism. Maybe both. Things are not right with him. Maybe that’s why his parents do everything for him.

    Reply
  7. Marsha Marsha Marsha says

    May 10, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    Great recap ! These young women have had little to no guidance from their parents and it is a struggle for them to cope with everyday life. There is so much depression between their families it makes me depressed for them. I totally agree about Nova and her lack of clothing. Farrah is getting worse, she hates her mother and barely tolerates her dad. I remember when Debra busted Farrah’s lip and gave her no sympathy when Sophia’s dad was killed. The revelation that Bentley is forced to sleep with his grandma shocked me. It is inappropriate. Amber should have been making Christmas ornaments with Leah years ago, popcorn on a string is still fun to make with children. Where would any of them be without MTV money, I shutter to think.

    Reply
  8. Twilly says

    May 10, 2017 at 8:58 pm

    Ryan seems super medicated. His pupils are blown out.

    Reply
  9. Rachy says

    May 11, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    The way Farrah talks to everyone (her parents, production) just infuriates me. If I ever told my mom to shut up, she would probably grab me by the jaw and make me eat soap. Her attitude and narcissism is just too much.

    Reply
  10. Sam says

    May 12, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    Late to the party, but I also watched this shit show. I like your recaps, Becky!

    I was wondering if that was a dip in Ryan’s mouth. Even if this is the fake version for the cameras – dude. He obviously hates everything to do with this show. It must be just enough money to make it worth it. Oh, and don’t feel bad about the cancer comment. You were kidding, it’s no big deal. Want me to list off everybody I’ve lost to cancer in the last 10 years, hell 5, including one last month? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

    It’s hard to watch these mental midgets spending all their hard earned money. That Corvette is ridiculous. It’s a 2 seater. Need I say more? Boo hoo, Amber.

    I hope a meteor lands on Farrah’s house.

    Reply

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