I just noticed that the recap for last week’s premiere episode only had eighteen comments. I don’t know how many views it got, and the comments are not really indicative of that, but it makes me wonder if y’all are really watching this show. I hope you are. I love all the shows set overseas and I am in love with Croatia, so I really hope we get to keep this show around for a bit.
We left off with Captain Sandy deciding to give a tender driving lesson to one of the girls while the guests were waiting to get to their beach luncheon. Perhaps this little lesson might have waited? That said, it certainly was not a big imposition on Hannah to take the plastic wrap off the plates and place them on the table while the guests had a lovely toast. Also, I just realized that the girl driving the tender was the new female deckhand and Captain Sandy is clearly interested in mentoring and encouraging her.
On the other hand, Captain Sandy does hover over the deck crew while they are trying to work.
I can’t even begin to explain the complexities of the anchoring technique they are trying to use. Let’s just say everything has gone FUBAR. It’s Bobby’s fault.
Speaking of FUBAR, Adam just overcooked the bass en croute SO HE THREW IT AWAY. I would have eaten that! Maybe I’m just hungry. But I love fish.
I can’t blame Bobby for thinking Wes’s name is Wiz. That is how Bugsy and Hannah pronounce it. It’s driving me bonkers. Max is all kinds of adorable. Bugs goes to Hannah to complain about how rude Adam is. As Hannah tells her, chefs are notorious for being assholes and if you think Adam is bad, you’d never survive Ben.
The deckhands are all untrained. How is this possible? I know they have real deckhands hanging around, but usually the cast is much better at pretending they know what they are doing. There is a hilarious juxtaposition between the chaos below deck and the serenity of the guests.
On of the emergency hatches in the girls’ cabin keeps falling out and having to be repositioned. The last time it fell it landed on a shower door, busting the shower door and class went everywhere. Malia, who Bobby has the serious hots for, as does Adam, gets cut up pretty badly from the glass. Bobby who was an EMT prior to the show wants to do a full examination. He and Hannah argue about this because Malia got into the shower to wash all the glass off of her.
They show the crew carrying out a small Louis Vuitton bag. I’ve never been a huge fan of them, but I must say, when a friend gave me one of hers, I do quite enjoy carrying it in Whole Foods as if I can really afford to shop at Whole Foods. And when I saw that brief scene I immediately felt some sort of cock sucking elitist vibe as if I was somehow a superior being for having such a handbag in my rotation. Then I felt awful for that and realized that is probably how the “housewives” feel. shudder
Anyway, each crew member received, $1,375 to put toward their Louis fund.
Captain Sandy calls Hannah in for a meeting after the tip meeting. Hannah is nervous but Captain Sandy just wanted to tell her she did a fabulous job.
Never in the history of the show has one of the cast been on anchor watch during shore leave. Perhaps Captain Lee did that? Captain Sandy is going out with the crew. Oh, Sandy. This would be like the principal showing up to Faculty Choir at the Mexican joint after school on Fridays. He might have stopped in for five minutes and that was plenty. And we loved that principal. Poor Wes is stuck on anchor watch and the gang is having such a great experience in Split. Actually, Sandy just bought them all dinner and left as soon as she was done eating. But not before Max realizes she is gay. Or potentially bi. Or something. It’s all very complicated these days.
Captain Sandy apparently relieved Wes because he got to join the others at dinner. Malia announces that Wes is super hot. Adam overheard that and was not amused.
Off to the club where everyone is drinks to alcohol poisoning levels. Malia and Hannah make out. Bobby is not amused. He is afraid Hannah is going to tell Malia that Bobby is a douchebag, just like she did with Lauren in New York. In reality, I think Hannah just wants to get with Malia like everyone else.
OMG! They are showing the new ad for MDLNY and the guy who replaces Luis is probably the hottest guy in the world. I was pulling photos of him in this ad just today. I thought no one could replace Luis, but this guy is so damn hot. Like seriously, hot. His name is Steve.
When Hannah goes to the bathroom a drunken Bobby interrogates a drunken Malia who jokes that Hannah and told her all his secrets. I don’t think she did that, if so it was not shown, but Bobby busts into the bathroom while Hannah is peeing to start going off on her.
Next week, we have nudist/porno guests who want to broadcast naked news from the boat. Bobby is an asshole again. Bugsy gets bad news from home and may have to leave. And more stupidity in yachting.