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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Southern Charm Savannah Premiere, “Welcome To Savannah, Y’all!”

Southern Charm Savannah Premiere, “Welcome To Savannah, Y’all!”

May 8, 2017 by tamaratattles 62 Comments

Nelson

I totally understand that running Southern Charm Savannah with a Southern Charm lead in is good for ratings, but It’s going to be the death of me.  I am excited about the show though as I lived in Savannah for a bit over a year when I taught Middle School. It was the best and worst gig of my life. I had some really good friends on the faculty and the best principal ever. But middle school children are quite unpleasant. Anyway, let’s get on with the show.

Oh I have some tea on one of the minor cast members that is just ridiculously bad. I’ll try to post about it soon. I just haven’t had much time and it’s going to require a lot of explanation and documentation.

Oh God. I hate this show already. It’s an embarrassing caricature of a great city. We are literally ONE MINUTE IN AND I HATE ALL OF THESE FUCKTARDS.  I even hate the theme song. 


I do love the scenery. I lived in a great apartment on the Marsh. It was amazing. Nelson is reprehensible. He is also the person I have the scoop on. He’s awful. I’m telling you.

I’ve never in my whole life heard so many adults discussing where they went to elementary school. It’s nauseating.

Louis has quit his corporate job to sell socks. His parents must be so proud.

Ashley likes swinging from vines, jumping into marshes and designing clothes. I sort of like her. But she is so namedroppy. It’s great that she has been there and done that and went to Country Day. But sweetie, just pepper your life with those things rather than read us a list all at once.  Her photo shoot was cool and I get the feeling she likes to hose Daniel down and do bad things to him. Ashley and Daniel have promise.

Catherine seems a bit um, special. But I LOVE her daddy. And I am not sure what she is nattering on about concerning her family lineage. Apparently she is trying to say that her grandmother was/is affiliated with The Colonial Dames of America.  Not sure what that is. I do know that if I wanted to pay dues and go to luncheons with old white ladies I am DAR eligible. The dead sister did all the arduous research for that and was mystified that I had no interest in joining with her. And by mystified, I mean pissed. Very pissed.

Lyle, like Ashley, has “moved back to Savannah” just in time for this show.  How convenient. He is Catherine’s high school sweetheart and they are reuniting.

Catherine is having a party. Bruce is her party planner. Let’s just say Bruce is no K. Cooper Ray.  Oh look, they are already alluding to Nelson’s er…background. Oh yes, Catherine. Tongues were wagging in Savannah about that.

Wait, Ashley is married to a guy named Dennis? So there goes my Ashley and Daniel fantasies. Maybe. Ashley is obsessed with getting in the water everywhere she goes. I kind of like that.

Bruce calls Nelson “The Talented Mr. Ripley.”  I love Bruce for that comment, and his shirt. His event planning skills are quite mediocre though. This shindig is  one step up from an old lady’s Flamingo party.  I think we are going to get to the part where Nelson impersonated Congressman Jack Kingston of Georgia while wearing a congressional pin he allegedly lifted from him in a bar. Then he got in a bar fight and the Secret Service was alerted that there was an assault on a congressman. Oh, my not so gentle readers, that is but the tip of the iceberg.

I would pay big bucks for that paisley shirt Bruce is wearing.

Oh it looks like Bruce is going to spill all the tea on episode one. Bruce is my favorite. Nelson used to tell people he was the Minister Plenipotentiary for Artistic Endeavors for the Embassy of the Bahamas. He had business cards made up to prove it. Later he would claim to be Ambassador to the Bahamas. Apparently, he got an imaginary promotion. There is more. I’ve had a whole running list of oddball behavior from this guy and his years in Washington. I just haven’t had the time to do a full report. I am glad this is being done for me.

Nelson says he was just doing performance art. In a congressional pin. While lying to a police officer and giving negative press to his family friend Jack Kingston while in office. His parents must be so proud.

Ashley goes swimming in a see-through white swimsuit. Because, attention whore.

Daniel gives his poor little rich boy story. He also pretends to spout off the Amex card that he used to use of his father’s. They bleep out all but the first and last number.  He starts with a 5. All Amex cards start with a 3. #lies

When Daniel graduated from college, his father was charged with 77 counts of embezzlement and did prison time.  Then he had to grow up and pay his own way. Daniel took over the law firm. He is not a lawyer. Daniel is one of the only Jews in the south. I kid. But really. There are not many Jewish folks here.

All of Ashley’s talk about the War of Northern Aggression makes me want to drink. Especially because these “southern women” don’t even call the war by its proper name.

Later, Ashley and the girls are out drinking and Ashley gets a call that her house is on fire. Apparently, her husband and child were in the child’s bed and it caught on fire.

This looks like a shit show. I’m open to offers of folks who want to recap it in a more objective way.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News Tagged With: Ashley Borders, Catherine Cooper, Daniel Eichholz, Entertainment News, Hannah Pearson, Louis Oswald, Lyle Mackenzie, Southern Charm Savannah

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Trish says

    May 9, 2017 at 12:16 am

    Your recap was better than the show. Loved Catherine’s Dad. Do all rich kids go to a Country Day School…Detroit has one, also. I doubt there are any kids from Detroit that go there. I wanted to like this show. I will give it one more week.

    Reply
    • Angeline says

      May 9, 2017 at 1:20 am

      The faux-riche kids all go to Country Day, Calvary Day, or St. Vincent’s. All parochial schools.

      Reply
      • LM says

        May 16, 2017 at 11:14 am

        Not accurate. Calvary Day is a Christian (not parochial) school with a diverse student poulation and an excellent academic and athletic program. St Vincent’s Academy is an all girls Catholic school begun by yhe Sisters of Mercy order in the 1840’s, which also has a very diverse population, both economically and racially.

        Reply
    • Kathy says

      May 9, 2017 at 1:56 am

      There is a Country Day school in St Louis that is way rich. And riche.

      Reply
      • AllThingsBravo says

        May 9, 2017 at 12:10 pm

        Remember when Kylie and Kendall wanted to be homeschooled on KUWTK? They called Country Day School of Georgia. I kept wondering how they landed on that school but if it’s where all the Rick kids go, that explains a lot.

        Reply
        • AllThingsBravo says

          May 9, 2017 at 12:11 pm

          *rich kids
          Although, I’m sure Rick is a nice guy…

          Reply
    • lilibeesite says

      May 9, 2017 at 12:37 pm

      Interesting. Real rich kids I knew went to boarding school.

      Reply
  2. Dancing Matisse says

    May 9, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Possibly the worst casting of a Bravo show ever.

    Reply
  3. missy says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:03 am

    Im curious how far the show will go with Nelson

    Reply
  4. Angeline says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:04 am

    Although I’m from Atlanta and live here now, I did eleven years time in the SAV. I have severe second-hand embarrassment for these twats. No one that I knew is like this although I know lots of alumnae of Country Day. Theses a good bit of flexing about money, but not so cheesy as it’s displayed on this show. If I were still in Savannah, I’d offer to recap, but thank gawd I’m not.

    Now I know how the good people of Charleston feel about Southern Charm 1.0. And SC 1.0 is head and shoulders less cringey than this shitshow.

    Reply
  5. therealdeb says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:07 am

    I do not like the Catherine bitch.

    Reply
    • Bugg says

      May 10, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      Same.

      Reply
  6. scottishwitch says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:23 am

    This is no “Southern Charm, Charleston”. The “Blue Blood” comment was ridic and prompted me to start talking to my cat. I TRIED to stay interested – I did – but this show caused me to fall asleep. I found it unwatchable, but it may be the best anti-insomnia tool out there.

    Reply
  7. Meredith says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:25 am

    Nelson is obviously as rich as he claims, drinking Korbell champs.

    Reply
  8. Spunky2015 says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:30 am

    Ashley jumping into that murky water is weird. Aren’t gators in there. I don’t give this show much promise and didn’t pay much attention.

    Reply
    • AllThingsBravo says

      May 9, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      That water was so gross-looking! I’d have to be swimming for my life to jump in. But she looked killer in her swimsuit!

      Reply
  9. Margarett says

    May 9, 2017 at 2:26 am

    I don’t find these folks to be Southern Charming at all. So disappointing…

    Reply
  10. Leesaj says

    May 9, 2017 at 3:00 am

    Born in Savannah, my family has longer roots than any of these morons. Savannah is a beautiful backdrop to an eclectic flock, sadly none of these cast members fit that bill. This makes me angry, hope the ratings reflect my sentiment and this show is only a 9 week disaster.
    Funniest line was there “might” be racism, please, its all but mandatory from my memories.

    Reply
    • MonaPJ says

      May 10, 2017 at 1:25 pm

      I was born and raised in Savannah (moved away in 1999) as well and my parents and grandparents still live there…this whole show is just ridiculous…I too hope Bravo cancels this farce and send them folks back where they are “from”…cause this, ain’t it!!!

      Reply
  11. spk says

    May 9, 2017 at 4:17 am

    Lyle & Ashley had zero chemistry, like this show. When he’d speak to her, she’d pull a face like she was about to hurl. What a snore. I like the commenters details about Savannah better than the 40 minutes I watched.

    Reply
    • Realityjunkie says

      May 14, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      I noticed that as well. She looked repulsed by him. If they are indeed a real couple then she’s been cheating…

      Reply
  12. Navymommy says

    May 9, 2017 at 5:15 am

    Good gawd, this is one of the more unlikable casts ever assembled for a show. The only interesting person is Catherine’s father along with his homes. I could watch a short season of Beaulieu Plantation, but that’s about it. How could he allow his daughter to grow up to be an embarassing moron? I will give it one more week.

    Reply
  13. Jackson says

    May 9, 2017 at 5:26 am

    Keep recapping this show your way. Nobody uses this site for “objectivity”. I need someone to hate this show with.

    Reply
  14. zoemonster2 says

    May 9, 2017 at 6:40 am

    idk if I’ll give this show another chance. I quit epi 1 after 30 minutes. It is slow.

    Reply
    • CoCo says

      May 13, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      zoemonster2, try drinking a cocktail while watching. The show moves much faster that way.

      Reply
  15. lillybeth53 says

    May 9, 2017 at 7:39 am

    I also tried to watch the whole hour, I made it to about the 20 minute mark. I fear we may have another “Summer House” #sigh I hope you can find the time to keep recapping this show TT because your blogs are much more enjoyable then watching the shows ❤️

    Reply
  16. AllThingsBravo says

    May 9, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    Not liking this show was a relief. More time to spend time on something other than Bravo. I’ll just read your blog, it’s way better than watching these obnoxious people in real time. If you’re gonna claim your blue-blood and brag on your grandmother’s ties to the confederacy, please at least know something meaningful about it. I couldn’t watch another minute after that.

    Reply
    • Jrleaguer says

      May 10, 2017 at 1:52 am

      The Colonial Dames…as the name implies…has to do with Colonial times and has nothing to do with the Confederacy. Same with the DAR.
      I will agree that if the little twit is going to brag about her lineage then she should at least have a clue.

      Reply
  17. MizGrandma says

    May 9, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    I missed the fire & whatever else because I couldn’t stay interested even though the cast was really trying hard to be interesting. Just nothing there, folks, except maybe Ashley, who might be a tad crazy & looks a decade or more older than the rest of the main cast. Color me bored.

    Reply
  18. Heidi says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Never been so proud to be a Yankee. Like others, I’ll give it one more week. I’m pretty sure it’s DOA however.

    Reply
    • Jackson says

      May 21, 2017 at 7:58 am

      I think DOA stands for “Daughters of the Alamo”. I only know that because Miss Ellie was a member on the TV show ‘DALLAS’.

      Reply
  19. Peachy Keen says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    I tried to show this show. I just wasn’t able to connect with any of the cast. If they continue to “tag-team” the episodes maybe I will try again..maybe.

    Reply
    • Peachy Keen says

      May 9, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      I should have mentioned, my friends i had over to watch a new show kept saying “Change the channel” I did we ended up watching westerns.

      Reply
  20. Sam says

    May 9, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    This show was pure dreck. I am embarrassed for everyone involved. So much vocal fry, jesus. One of them is from Atlanta. I mean, who cares?

    Watching the old episodes of Southern Charm reminded me how much potential that show had. Now it’s a commercial for Shep’s new show with some other stuff mixed in. I sort of hate them all now, some just more than others.

    As far as swimming in the marsh, I highly recommend reading Prince of Tides. No, don’t watch the movie. That sucked. Read it, it’s good. Shameless Pat Conroy plug.

    Reply
    • Old Jane says

      May 9, 2017 at 8:36 pm

      Just finished his early memoir, The Water is Wide, a loving and unvarnished look at his teaching on a small island island​out of Beaufort.

      Reply
  21. tobaccorhoda says

    May 9, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Ah, Pat Conroy, who described a spider in a bottle as “an aerialist in a quart of Georgia air.” Pure porn for fans of the written word.

    Reply
  22. Sabrina says

    May 9, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    TT thanks for the terrific recap and for summarizing my thoughts, including the addition of a couple of the ones above- how could you not know what grand mom’s exact role was, and claim it as so very special? And have zero knowledge of Confederate history, etc., etc., They coactively sounded like a collection of lost brats, frankly.

    With Nelson pretending to be a Congressman after pretending of be President of Bank of America, at age 20, his “performing arts” comment shows us where his lost mind is. So many of the others tries so very hard to be sure we understood how inbred and special they are- when it was more clear the opposite was true.

    I too give it one more week.

    I have grown up with my fair share of friends who went to these types of schools, but while their attendance at them were goals for the parents of the children as the kids reached those ages, the truth is that , anyone of age 28-30 who continues to define him/her self in terms of where they went to grade school or middle high, even high school,(even most private of the boarding schools,) see to have very little to be proud of their lives about today. Most adults i know now live their lives focused on who they are, what they stand for, what they believe, how their children think and behave, and what their life is about. If all you can do is to look back to define who you are and what you believe and live, that is profoundly sad.

    I live in a world where some are proud to define themselves in those terms., i.e., what school they met these guys they are best friends with, etc., many of them back to the Boarding and Country Day Schools. But they don’t define themselves only on that basis.
    Last night, many who defined themselves in terms of the Country Day School in Savannah were among the lost soul crowd who have to define themselves as of the school attended in grade 3 because they have little else to be proud of. Very sad to me.

    Lots of emptiness in a group trying too hard, hope it can recover very quickly and show some real people.

    Reply
  23. Victoria says

    May 9, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    I have to say, after reading these comments I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t like this show.

    Daniel sure likes to be naked. Nice butt, though.

    Reply
  24. Babs says

    May 9, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    I feel bad for the people on this show. It looks like they were drinking through their interviews and Bravo spliced moments of drunk pretentiousness together which may have been about Savannah’s history in general and not about their family’s wealth specifically. I’m not actually convinced any of these people, from the looks of their real estate holdings and taste in champagne are that rich at all. It’s middle class, trying-too-hard sad and Bravo should know better than to try and sell us on this old money bullshit.

    This is Bravo trying to compete with SC Charleston, which has a different planet of wealth and its own sins to atone for. It’s a shame that the Savannah cast fell for whatever they were being goaded into saying. (Except that Nelson guy. He’s a Fox News shit and bad news).

    Reply
    • Peachy Keen says

      May 9, 2017 at 10:55 pm

      I guess because Korbel champs is from California is considered “imported”?

      Reply
  25. Cheryl B. (@cherylannburke1) says

    May 9, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Oh dear Lord, this is like not good, at all. Eek. Can’t make it through the whole episode. Just really doubt I missed much.

    Reply
  26. catazure says

    May 9, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    Not Good. I mean, not good AT ALL. As in Completely Unwatchable. I can watch train wrecks, hell – I watched “Honey Boo-Boo,” but these people are pure scattershot attempts at entertainment which crash into a big sticky mess of boredom. And disgust.

    Reply
  27. 601roliz3 says

    May 9, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    Bless Bravo’s heart! That’s what we say down South when we are about to or just have said something terrible about someone or something! This show is God-Awful! I was so excited about the show because I’m a huge Savannah fan mostly because of its infamous haunted history! I want that treacherous hour of my life back! Thank God for the Ghosts, because the only thing remotely interesting about this show was Jon Bon Jovi’s guest appearance as somebody’s dad!

    Reply
  28. Jrleaguer says

    May 10, 2017 at 12:56 am

    I am gobsmacked! A distant relative of mine, who shall remain nameless, is on this crap fest. I am just now watching it…and hanging my head in shame! I hope that this is a one and done.

    Reply
    • Cheryl B. (@cherylannburke1) says

      May 10, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      I’m gobsmacked for you!! 🙂 What a surprise that must’ve been. Don’t worry, no one is probably going to even watch, lol.

      Reply
    • durasgirl says

      May 11, 2017 at 1:51 pm

      So do these people have as much as they claim? I’m thinking Catherine’s dad does. Not sure about the others.

      Reply
  29. laura1013 says

    May 10, 2017 at 2:54 am

    I did love all the scenery, Savanah is on my must see list. I kind of liked Ashley, but I’m afraid her naked shtick is going to get old fast. I did think Daniel was really cute though, that may keep me watching for awhile.

    Reply
  30. Lisa says

    May 10, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Ugh! Did not like this show! Out of all Savannah, this is who was chosen? Cheap version of Southern Charm Charleston. Even that is changing, though. I still love it, however. Is showing your fanny in the contract? It must be in Daniel’s, lol! If one more person spoke about their lineage… eye roll…many people can claim much of the same thing! I doubt I’ll be watching it again. Ok. Maybe. Kind of like a train wreck. Or– I will just read your recaps!

    Reply
  31. durasgirl says

    May 11, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    These are people are not good looking enough to be on television. They don’t seem to have bank either. Whitney had enough access via his mother in Charleston to showcase her home and bring in TRav (who, let’s face it, had little to lose in terms of his reputation) and his beautiful home south of Broad. He was smart enough to rent a home downtown for Jenna and Shep had a place downtown. They were able to access and showcase a beautiful place we all wanted a peak at, and Cameron and Craig brought the pretty. Savannah has everything Charleston, but this cast does not. Not one of them owns one of the beautiful old homes in the historic district. You can brag about going to Cuntry Day (typo and it stays) but your little place in the suburbs screams middle class, and no one here is bringing the pretty.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 12, 2017 at 2:12 am

      I stopped reading after, “These people are not good looking enough to be on TV.”

      I’m not a fan of trashing people’s looks on a site that has millions of readers. It’s kind of rude.

      I love Savannah and love living there. I will defend the city all day everyday. And I hate the comparison to Charleston because Savannah is unique.

      Shep continues to make me want to punch him in the face when he says in previews that Savannah is Charleston’s ugly step child or whatever.

      My daddy is from South Carolina and we have deep roots in Georgia, so it feels like fighting among siblings to me. And Shep is from Hilton HEAD as I pronounce it.

      The problem has nothing to do with how these people look, but how they BEHAVE.

      Reply
  32. Jane says

    May 12, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    The Country Day School talk sounded so producer led. The show is about a group of young people that have known, been friends with, each other for many years. All this school discussion was contrived. Still has potential, will give it a couple of more episodes.

    Best part of the night: Party guests arriving in their boats!!!! That was cool. I wanna do that.

    Reply
  33. Aura39 says

    May 13, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    This. Was. Just. Bad.
    But as a loyal Bravo-head, I’ll probably continue to watch it.

    Reply
  34. Peachy Keen says

    May 13, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Visiting Savannah is on my bucket list since reading Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and watching the movie. Hope the show doesn’t end up just showing bars and restaurants. The cast.. we will see.

    Reply
  35. CoCo says

    May 13, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Do we really have to see another drunk, southern Catherine? If she’s drunk (allegedly) in her interview segments, it could be a problem. I love Catherine’s father! Daniel and Nelson are characters and I can’t wait to see what craziness they get up to this season. Ashley doesn’t get enough attention at home, so she’s a bit of a wild card. Her husband looks like he’s in over his head. I’ve been to Savannah a few times so I’m looking forward to this show.

    Reply
  36. tamaratattles says

    May 13, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    I just noticed that WordPress suggested as a related post, one that has the word HERPES in the title. WordPress is such a smartass sometimes.

    Reply
  37. emm hannity says

    May 14, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    The cast is…blech. Not likeable or charming. The Southern Charm Charleston are interesting, intelligent, funny and relatable. Savannah not at all. I hope it’s one seasonand done.

    Reply
  38. Peachy Keen says

    May 14, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    Last night about Midnight on the left coast, I watched the last episode again. I tried to find something I liked. .. Thought I missed something the first time I watched, admittedly, half heartedly, sadly no.!

    Bored with the woman who wears bathing suits under all her clothes so she can dive into foul water and come out with her stuff showing? SHould Catherine? marry whatever the hell his name is? Daniel walking around bitching about his ancestors being banned because they were Jewish. ? Too much .

    Throwing frisbies around is to be entertaining? No mas.

    Reply
  39. Ivana Poopalot says

    May 23, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    What I wanna know is how Ashley went to school with these people when she looks like she’s in her late 40s. Did she get held back 20 times? And uninteresting people with no conversation skills are usually the ones to take their clothes off.

    I went to boarding school and I rarely talk about it unless I have a funny story about getting caught smoking in the girl’s bathroom by the head nun. Why are these people stuck on talking about grade school? Huh?

    Will someone please tell Nelson that he’s gay & it’s ok? Continually telling us that your not isn’t fooling us. No no no.

    And shame on me for watching this dribble!

    Reply
  40. April Roe says

    May 30, 2017 at 7:05 am

    This show is beyond terrible! Bunch of redneck-hillbillie-confederate loving name dropping man/womanchilds. I got one episode in and decided I’m never partaking again. I wanna blow my brains out after “watching” this sad show. Hell my IQ would go up 80pts if I blew myself to obvlivion after watching this slag shit!

    Reply
  41. MissRiss says

    June 5, 2017 at 10:51 am

    Soooo bad. Ironically, I am watching this Dumpster fire show while filling out job applications. They are now going to Catherine’s party and I want Ashley to design a bra for herself. She needs to learn how to style herself. That hot pink dress in the interviews… no, girl, no. HAHAHA her breasts are wanting to bust out of that thing. Nelson has a girlfriend? **blink** He is such a douche
    Daniel is a hotty? Lyle is a catch? They are all so gross lol

    Reply
  42. SAP says

    June 6, 2017 at 8:59 am

    I’m so glad I’m not alone in think this show totally sux. Who did the casting on this mess?! Most surprising, based on comments, people seem to like Ashley. For the record, I don’t like any of them, but Ashley is such a giant LIAR. She claimed to have designed the dress Kate Middleton was wearing in her college fashion show. A simple google search proves Charlotte Todd designed & made the dress. Plus the Delta thing, plus the aggressive confrontations, plus the desperate exhibitionism…..makes me think personality disorder & doubt everything she says.

    Reply
    • Margarett says

      June 6, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      Your comment caught my attention,SAP. I don’t know which one is Ashley, however, I agree that this show sucks!!

      I never miss Tamara’s recaps of the “real” Southern Charm. I just can’t watch this one. It’s so not like the Southern women I know, or for that matter, that I am!

      Reply

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