By Guest Contributor Becky J.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s a red flag when a show starts at the end? This week’s RHOP begins with a montage of a party where Monique and Gizelle are fighting and Charrisse is crying. Then, the whole hour is a “rewind” of the week leading up to this event.
Monique is planning a casual “side yard barbeque/spades event” with the help of a professional party planner, while she bashes all the other women for being pretentious. Hmm… To their credit, on the day of the event, Monique and Chris seem to be actually working hard and preparing all the food and drinks themselves. It’s still seems like a bit much to have rented decor for a bbq, but I don’t live in Potomac. Oh wait. They don’t either (yet).
Meanwhile, Charrisse is planning an event for the National Basketball Wives Association. Yes. That is a thing. She’s very bittersweet (heavy on the bitter) because this is her last event as an official basketball wife. It’s painfully obvious that her actual relationship has been over for a long time and she’s just been clinging to the lifestyle and identity as Eddie Jordan’s wife. It’s not a storyline that appeals to me at all, but maybe some women can relate. It would go down a little smoother if she weren’t so fucking annoying when she’s not acting sad. Of course, she refers to herself in the third person as Cha-Cha a couple times and I want to barf. The actual event is pretty boring, except the part where Charrisse makes an embarrassing speech about how she is rebranding herself by dropping Eddie’s last name. Everybody in the room cringes or looks at the floor.
Ashley has hired Robyn to help with PR for the kangaroo meat restaurant. I love this idea, even if Ashley did manage to throw a touch of shade by insinuating Robyn is so broke, they’re really helping each other out. At least Robyn works for a living instead of sucking off some man like the rest of these hookers. Robyn advises her to “revamp the menu” which is such a no-brainer I can’t even. Ashley returns the favor by telling Robyn that she deserves a rich man who will sail her around the world on a yacht instead of Juan. It’s a real meeting of the minds. In her private interview, Ashley admits that she’s been hearing rumors about Juan having a girlfriend who’s not Robyn. I usually like Ashley, but it’s super shady that she doesn’t bring this directly to Robyn in this private meeting like a real concerned friend. Instead, she keeps it under her (giant) hair to stir shit later for maximum dramatic impact.
In a classic housewife move a la Gretchen Christine Beaute, Gizelle pretends she’s a business woman, starting her own cosmetics company. She claims she’s qualified to do this because she “knows beauty” which must be code for wears a ton of makeup and tacky accessories. She has a lunch with an old sorority sister, an actual marketing executive, who tells a “hilarious” story about how Gizelle was so awful to her in college and threatened to kill her before they became best friends. So, clearly, Gizelle has not matured in the past 25 years.
In other mean girl news, Karen is throwing a boring birthday party for her mom. It’s so boring that her son (who is only slightly interesting) doesn’t even show up. There is, however, a “friend’s baby” there. Nobody ever explains why that baby is with them at the fancy restaurant, or where her mom is. They all just take turns holding her. It’s very weird. They try to make Karen’s competitive relationship with her sister seem funny. Karen actually comes off looking like a psychopath who would have happily murdered her sister for a fake fur coat.
So, that’s the week and now we’re back at Monique’s party. Karen and her husband arrive thirst, I mean first. Monique is a cheerful and gracious hostess, even when nasty Gizelle arrives with her bitchy hairdresser, Kal, in tow and refuses to hug her. Gizelle is wearing a cape over a black catsuit in 90 degree weather. Monique brags about cooking for the party, which I feel is justified. The food looks great. Gizelle give her some low-key shade about the food and stands stiffly in the kitchen while the nice people eat on the back patio. Gizelle is clearly desperate to find something to complain about. She mutters under her breath about how Monique never stops talking. Monique’s friend GiGi overhears the catty exchange between Gizelle and Kal. Kal tells her not to get her panties in a bunch. She replies that she doesn’t wear panties (TMI). She posts up at the kitchen bar to spy on them and listen to see if they talk shit on her girl. Of course they do.
Outside, Ashley arrives. She brought her husband, some kangaroo jerky (always with this fucking Australian food!) and the Juan rumor. Ashley is trying to whisper the Juan gossip to Gizelle, who gets weirdly territorial when Monique enters the room. Gizelle tells Ashley not to discuss the Juan and Robyn thing while “Miss I-Can’t-Stop-Talking” is in the room. When Monique leaves, GiGi runs outside and tattles. Monique confronts Gizelle about the shit-talk and whispering. The situation quickly escalates and Gizelle is invited to leave. She’s fucking awful, but part of me wishes Monique could just rise above it because Gizelle is jealous.
Gizelle is not about to let a good night of filming be cut short just because she was asked to leave the party. In the front yard, Gizelle tells Robyn what Ashley has been saying and Robyn looks hurt. On cue, Ashley joins the conversation and Robyn defends Juan by saying they’re not an actual couple. Enter Charrisse, late and on the brink of tears. She has a full crying meltdown I guess because of her divorce (again). I understand why she’s so sad, but I don’t get why she is at some bbq in a full-length gown crying for cameras. Maybe she should try a night off camera in her sweats. To their credit, the women are acting like really nice supportive friends. Then here comes Monique again. Who can blame her? It’s her house and the party is in the driveway without her. She’s pissed and seems to think the women are ganging up on her.
Then, we get the “To Be Continued…” and I’m not sure I really care.
Poor Robyn. I’d hate if the gossip about Juan was true. Ashley should have gone to her directly, no doubt, but was probably afraid. Telling Gizelle was not the answer.
Side note – Juan is the hottest RH husband, hands down. Daaaaaaaamn.
Becky J: You are a trooper for recapping this show. I can’t watch this stuff anymore.
DOes anyone really care about these women? How many cosmetic lines can Housewives put out there?
Can’t imagine anyone backing them.
This was such a whack-a-doodle episode. The recap is perfect.
Ashley is going out of her way to stir up shit this season, but the show is still boring. So for now her actions are all for naught.
Gizelle making an ass out of herself over Monique is not a good look, but at the same time, Monique’s responses and attitude are not making her look much better. Also, Monique’s friend GiGi makes me ill. And can somebody tell Monique to take a breath? Good lord, she never shuts up, I’m over it.
I still hate Charrisse, just saying for GP.
I hope Robyn is watching these episodes closely and realizing what a fool she is being over Juan. Not saying she should go the ‘gold digger’ route like Ashley, but I am sure Robyn can find a good man who will love and appreciate her.
The baby at Karen’s lunch was suspicious. Is Grande Dame Huger possibly a grandmother and doesn’t want us to know? Like how Sheree passed off her older daughter as a ‘friend’ on the 1st season of RHOA? Also I am shocked that Karen’s mom is only 70. For some reason I was thinking Karen was kicking 60 in the ass. What is La Huger’s age, I wonder?
The one thing I’ll say for this cast is that they do seem to have formed genuine friendships, and at least three or four of them were connected to each other before the show. They manage to rise above the petty for each other when they need to (eg. Gizelle owning up to her messy mess and apologizing in the second ep, and the way they support Charisse during her divorce and Ashley with her restaurant).
Poor dear sad old Karen should stop staying home with just The Mole for company, complaining about “empty nesting”, and bring her family around more often. She’s way more tolerable with her sister around to check her.
Did anyone else notice her wigs were in perfect position during the cake store and restaurant scene, but back to sliding down her backside in her talking heads and the Monique party scene? I think her sister is a discreet wig-tugger, helping keep Karen’s dome covered and actually making her look cute. I hardly recognized her in the yellow-y jumpsuit and the good wig at the cake store!
Finally: if Monique has so much money, can’t she spare a few coins for her irrelevant friend? That kitchen loudmouth chick really needs a full set of teeth. And some panties.
Hahahahaha Full set of teeth AND panties! I just can’t…
Monique/Ashley is the Porsha of the Potomac but have more standards and class and Gizelle is the Kenya of the show. Monique is nothing to be played with and I’m loving her so much, why is Robyn so damn emotionally invested in Juan? Ashley made good points about moving on and her finding better but she was so damn defensive. Charisse is Deshawn Snow if she would’ve got a second season lol.
I think Robyn is super-invested in Juan emotionally because of their history. Not only were they high school sweethearts, but I believe Robyn’s parents really looked out for Juan when his parents both died when he was 17/18 (if I recall the background special Bravo ran on RHOP correctly). I think she’s been with him through so many major ups and downs in life that it’s hard for her to break that connection with him. And it’s really sad bc she seems like such a great, genuine person.
Gizelle is looking pathetically jealous and insecure this season and Monique does not miss an opportunity to catch Gizelle’s shade then throw it back at her. That said, Monique does need to take a few breaths and not answer to all of Gizelle’s stupid attempts as she does not need help to make herself look bad. I like Monique and think she could be a fun addition to this struggling show if she just settles down just a little.
Ashley needs to fight her husband about the menu or their restaurant is done. I can understand why Ashley may be timid about approaching Robyn regarding Juan because for as much as Robyn describes it as a ‘non relationship’ Robyn is very defensive and it is very sad to watch her hold on to hope when it appears Juan checked out and gave up years ago.
@ Johnny I’m still laughing about Karen’s wigs. I just don’t understand why she can’t get it together. I’m also wondering about the mysterious baby at the birthday dinner. There has to be a story there.
I agree Giselle was looking for something to complain about, but Monique and her friends were watching her like a hawk as soon as she walked in. So my guess is Gizelle prob felt the vibe which was why she’s stuff and uncomfortable. Idk but this Monique acting like a fool and confronting Gizelle is not normal either. I’m not a fan of this Monique chick and she’s as thirsty as they come. In my opinion. Then again they’re all thirsty except for Robyn.i really like Robyn and Ashley’s husband . But If there’s a season 3, I’m pretty sure Ashley’s will be divorced, her husband looks unhappy .
Ashley is off the hook this season. I wonder if she’s acting this way to secure her place on the show. I, too, think Ashley will be divorced soon.
I truly feel for Robyn and hope Juan isn’t cheating on her again, especially living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed. She’s seems strong, but that would be devastating.
Charisse should take the rest of the season off and deal with her family. It’s hard enough dealing with things, but doing it under a microscope is even harder.
Gizelle’s eyes are green from her jealousy of Monique. Poor thing! It’s not a good look.
Thanks for the great recap, Becky J!
That is NOT Australian food – no one eats Kangaroo jerky.
I still haven’t watched this season and have trouble figuring out which photos go where because I don’t know who anyone is.
That said, the ratings for RHOP are through the roof this season. With the RHOA lead in, A LOT of the RHOA viewers are sticking around for RHOP. Time will tell if there is a tremendous drop after RHOA FINALLY ends.
As it stands now, a season three is pretty much guaranteed.
For me, the show will be easier to watch without the RHOA lead-in, because they’re such totally different groups of women. The comparison just doesn’t serve either of them well (it makes RHOA look even trashier, while the RHOP women seem sedated).
I hope they maintain the audience and score a third season, if only because I’m overly invested in Robyn and Ashley’s financial and business problems. I really want to see them overcome and succeed. (Plus, I’d miss my favorite drinking game of taking a shot every time Karen’s wig slides back far enough to see the peach fuzz on her big bald head if this show was canceled.)
I live in Australia and Ashley who clearly has NEVER been to Australia does not know Australian cuisine, AT ALL.
I actually like Potomac; I don’t find them boring, I find them more normal, RHOA is so toxic and dark and dirty now. I only watched the reunion to see Phaedra get hers.
Knowing Gizelle was a pastors wife is disturbing, I would love to hear the congregations stories about her. Also Gizelle is much lighter than she appeared when she was married.
The congregation stories are about HIM. Isn’t he in prison or something by now?
Gizelle, Green is not a good look on you girl. As far as Robyn, there’s more then she’s letting be filmed. How the hell, you eat, live, sleep & who knows with Juan but y’all ain’t a couple. I SMELL ?!!!!!
Awww!