This is one of those reunion episodes where I just want to get to the grand finale where Phaedra’s house of cards collapses. Maybe we will get lucky and it will be a slow and painful demise over the entire hour. As an added bonus, it seems a though Porsha will finally realize that she has been duped and no one wants to film with her anymore.
Tonight we start with the husbands on stage. Peter is drunk. I was told he made liberal use of the open bar before coming out. I feel like I have seen this episode already. I guess I just saw the previews a lot. Peter denies being unfaithful. Peter’s cummerbund is all bunched up. I guess there was no one to help him dress. Peter drunkenly interrupts Andy asking Porsha where her fake boyfriend for hire is. I cannot even pretend to recap this. Porsha is dating a football player. Peter keeps interjecting drunken thoughts. Peter needed a drink and walked off the set to find one. They actually filmed Peter’s drunken rants in the bathroom.
Come on now, we’ve wasted over fifteen minutes of airtime and we are even close to the drama starting yet. Finally, Shamea hits the couch. She is seated next to Sheree and Sheree seems really unhappy about that. Wait, the Princess of THOTlandia is now saying she is not a whore? Did someone finally tell her what a THOT is? Also, Kandi just started a sentence with “Lezbee clear..”
Porsha can’t figure out why people think she was not a good friend to Shamea. Kenya is happy to explain that Porsha didn’t stick up for Shamea, but always stood up for Phaedra. Porsha tells Kenya to “Shut the fuck up!” Several times. A long tirade of insults starts flying back and forth between Porsha and Kenya. Kenya says that Porsha looks like Elvis with that hair and that outfit. I was actually kind of liking Porsha’s look until Kenya pointed it out. She DOES look like Elvis! Kandi takes a turn with Porsha to let her know that she sure wasn’t sticking up for Shamea when implied she was in a three way with Kandi and Todd.
We get a long Frick and Frack montage. Shamea has told Porsha several times to be very cautious when it comes to Phaedra. Andy brings up that the other women don’t believe their friendship is anything more than an alliance for the show. Phaedra assures us that she is a good friend to Porsha. Porsha says she really likes her friendship with Phaedra. Shamea says don’t leave your drivers license or your wallet around Phaedra because you know she is into fraudulent activity.
Shamea and Phaedra go at it. Shamea claims Phaedra was trying to get with her ex-husband. Phaedra says Shamea was at the Four Seasons trying to get her a pair of shoes. Is that what happens at the Four Seasons??? Because Cynthia Bailey is there a lot and she lives in Atlanta. Why is she always at the Four Seasons Atlanta? I need to go to the Four Seasons, I need me a new pair of Merrells. Shamea says she is engaged and about to be married. Phaedra shoots back with “Maybe it will last longer than a year this time.”
Shamea says Phaedra is southern belle today and hooker tomorrow. Shamea talks about Phaedra’s navel being way off center because she uses groupons for her plastic surgery. God, If they fire Phaedra I hope they put Shamea in her place.
He we go, with fifteen minutes left. Todd is back out there. After a long video recap of the rape stuff, Porsha seems to still think it is funny. But that is about to change. Phaedra refuses to admit she said anything about Shamea and Kandi other than the juvenile hand gesture that until this season I had not seen since elementary school. Todd says that the streets are saying a lot of stuff about Phaedra, but they don’t need to say that stuff. It’s not necessary, because “we know the FEDS are still watching.”
Andy brings up the homophobic behavior the ladies seem to have on RHOA. Porsha claims she is not homophobic at all. HAH! Kenya brings up this tape of Porsha preaching that gay people were all going to hell. If you missed that, the VIDEO is right here on this site. Porsha says that was ten years ago and it was taken out of context. Again, the unedited video is right here, with full context. Todd says that Porsha was kissing on Kandi in the club and invited both of them back to her room. They politely turned down her invitation. Porsha denies that. Kandi tells us again that Porsha wanted to eat her cookie. Porsha denies it.
Porsha says that the drug situation was important because Porsha is a journalist on Dish Nation. I know, none of that makes sense. Forget that for now. Porsha says she was served a cease and desist by Kandi so she can’t explain why she thinks that Kandi wanted to drug and rape her. She says she wants Phaedra to speak on it since she was the one who told her everything about the situation with Kandi and drugs, and Marvin and all of that stuff.
Then Kandi goes off on Phaedra, “YOU told her all that stuff?” And we end there. Next week, it’s the episode we have been waiting for. These first three episodes could have been one show.