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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / I Have So Much To Say, And Even More To Imply About Fyre Island

I Have So Much To Say, And Even More To Imply About Fyre Island

April 28, 2017 by tamaratattles 17 Comments


Today, there are a whole bunch of idiots stranded on and Island in the Bahamas. It was named “Fyre Island” for the purposes of a beach party. Today Twitter is having a good old time mocking these fools, and I am missing all the fun of mocking them myself because I’ve spent a few hours looking for a story that apparently I never wrote. As it turns out I had this interesting story from a really good source and until I found the timeframe I really thought I had posted it here. This story started in December of 2016. I wasn’t really able to focus on the site much that month, or the month after as I was dealing with security, death and law. Let us not think of that.

I really do recall saving the photo above and trying to figure out how to explain the information I had at that time. I remember thinking I should put it in a blind item. Perhaps I did a few months later but I just can’t seem to find it. There are really two parts to this story. 

Back in December of 2016, Elsa Hosk, Hannah Ferguson, Paulina Vega, Gizele Oliveira, Rose Bertram, Emily Ratajkowski, Bella Hadid, Alessandra Ambrosio  Kendall Jenner and a few other Instamodels began posting provocative photos of themselves in tiny bikinis on the non-existent “Fyre Island.” They didn’t say much about it other than it was a luxurious place of beauty in the Bahamas.  To me, the story at that time was there were a bunch of girls on a yacht with older men.

I was talking to a source I keep in regular contact with and he was explaining to me that a certain foreign born man and his ex-wife and is current fiance all run a yacht girl company where they book young ladies to look attractive on yachts owned by rich men when they throw parties. I am so sure this was a blind item before, but since I can’t find it, that is the blind item that I would have run at the time.  Apparently, this is a lucrative business that is both literally and figuratively an off-shore business that caters to European men. All transactions and sponsored events occur outside of the United States.

Shortly after the Instamodels rolled around naked in the sand and posed for professional photos and posted about Fyre on Instagram,  people started searching for Fyre and landed on the “exclusive party event coming soon.” Weren’t they smart and lucky for finding that place.

Early report is that many of the tents aren't assembled. Here's their tropical private island owned by Escobar! #FyreFestival pic.twitter.com/TNzBDbNAUJ

— FyreFestivalFraud (@FyreFraud) April 27, 2017

If you sent your money quickly, you could get reduced price weekend tickets. Those people got shared tents and no special treatment for $950 .  Later those tickets would be $1,500. The most expensive tickets I saw were for a $9,000 package with four double beds in one tent. Then there were all sorts of VIP additions. At that time I don’t think they even had the musical guests in place.

Just a couple weeks ago, Vogue.com wrote a story about the event calling it the new Cochella

Sure, the music—Pusha T, Tyga, and Desiigner will be joining Major Lazer, Disclosure, Blink-182, Migos, and Lil Yachty—and the models—Kendall Jenner, Alessandra Ambrosio, Bella Hadid, Hailey Baldwin, Emily Ratajkowski, Elsa Hosk, Lais Ribeiro, and Hannah Ferguson, to name a few—make the case for a visit. But this Bahamian escape isn’t just about the famous faces. If you find yourself there with a ticket in hand, you’ll also find yourself among some of the most incredible beaches and waters in the world. Fyre Festival set out to provide a once-in-a-lifetime musical experience on the Islands of the Exumas.

Oh Vogue, you are no longer the fashion bible. I’m sorry. Someone has needed to tell you that for a long time. Pre-Kardashian even. Nothing in that piece was true.

The reality is the island is over run with people with little food. Did I mention this is the same place that has wild pigs and packs of feral dogs?  The tents, what few of them there are actually set up are completely empty.  The “VIP meals” are two slices of bread, two slices of cheese product and some lettuce. There is no electricity, no plumbing, no food, and very little shelter from the sun unless you claimed a tent. Oh and it has been raining the whole time so if you actually dragged a mattress of the giant pile and dragged it to a tent yourself, they are all wet.

So basically some rich kids are getting to experience what really nice refugee camps are like. At least there is no one trying to shoot them or bomb them.  There seems to be some sort of issue involving planes not being able to leave the island.

But don’t worry my pretties!  Ja Rule is somehow the event promoter and he is asking that you just trust him to send in charter jets to evacuate you, and do not attempt to make your own arrangements. Because he is super good at making arrangements for you. Also those tents are actually left over disaster relief tents, so they are quite sturdy!

Here is what remains on the Fyre Site

Due to circumstances out of our control, the physical infrastructure was not in place on time and we are unable to fulfill on that vision safely and enjoyably for our guests. At this time, we are working tirelessly to get flights scheduled and get everyone off of Great Exuma and home safely as quickly as we can. We ask that guests currently on-island do not make their own arrangements to get to the airport as we are coordinating those plans. We are working to place everyone on complimentary charters back to Miami today; this process has commenced and the safety and comfort of our guests is our top priority.

The festival is being postponed until we can further assess if and when we are able to create the high- quality experience we envisioned.

We ask for everyone’s patience and cooperation during this difficult time as we work as quickly and safely as we can to remedy this unforeseeable situation. We will continue to provide regular updates via email to our guests and via our official social media channels as they become available.

-The Fyre Festival Team

This is just hysterical to me. The PHYSICAL INFRASTRUCTURE was not in place in time. They had no idea…I mean how could they be expected to keep up with such details?

There are actually clueless idiots on the Facebook account last I checked trying to buy tickets for Weekend II.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News Tagged With: Entertainment News, Fyre Festival

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Jrleaguer says

    April 28, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Well, I can see how the VIP meals would be a total non starter because…CARBS!

    TT, Thank you for this! My week has been rather, meh…and reading this was glorious!

    Reply
  2. waterbrat94108 says

    April 28, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    You did a blind or something with Yolanda and Mohamed s girl friend going into some yacht business

    Reply
    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya says

      April 29, 2017 at 10:41 am

      Yeah I remember the blind. But it was prostitution business not yacht business.

      Reply
      • Daintyfeets says

        April 29, 2017 at 3:05 pm

        The prostitution takes place on the yachts. Allegedly.

        Reply
      • Twilly says

        April 29, 2017 at 4:06 pm

        A lot of prostitution takes place on yachts, hence the term “yacht girls.”

        Reply
  3. ericzku says

    April 28, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    TT:

    You DID do a blind on this. I remember it. You aren’t hallucinating.

    Reply
  4. ericzku says

    April 28, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    TT:

    Found it. It’s this blind item from September.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 28, 2017 at 6:39 pm

      THANKS ERIC!!!

      Reply
      • ericzku says

        April 28, 2017 at 7:18 pm

        ??

        Reply
  5. Angela says

    April 28, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    I remember this blind! For some reason I remember envisioning the lemyn/lime lady taking on a sort of madame role in an ultra high end international escort service. I imagined her coupling supermodels with filthy rich fat old ugly men on lavish yachts in the Mediterranean. I also imagined her first husband was running the show and the little fish from the big Miami pond was somehow involved …
    Not sure if attaching names to my guess is wise or even ok for me to do with these lawsuit freaks…
    I’m probably so far off anyway. I’m terrible with the blinds….

    Reply
  6. MariettaMommy says

    April 28, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    TT do you know how many people showed up to this event? Those of us laughing our asses off at home are curious.

    Reply
  7. satinbliss says

    April 28, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    Holy shit. I might break down and get on twitter finally

    Reply
  8. Erica says

    April 28, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    There is a singer or rapper named Lil Yachty? Is that what happened to Rocky??? 🙂

    I’m sure it is horrible and really, if your infrastructure isn’t in place – WHY LET EVERYONE FLY OUT THERE? But I am laughing inside at how stupid this is…

    Reply
  9. claire says

    April 28, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    Call LaLa: she knows all about yacht parties for horny dudes. ?

    Reply
  10. Heidi says

    April 28, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I somehow got sucked into the twitter feed of this today and it was hilarious! Might go check on it later to see what I’ve been missing.

    Reply
  11. T D says

    April 29, 2017 at 1:17 am

    Fyre extinguished by the pissed off after being pissed on. Even Gilligans Island had double occupancy huts.

    Reply
  12. Twilly says

    April 29, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    “Nobody knew it would be this hard.”

    Reply

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