It’s been a long season of Vanderpump Rules but tonight we finally say goodbye. Goodbye, Tequila Katie. Goodbye, White Kanye. Goodbye, mean girls. Goodbye, Scheana Shay. Luckily for us, only one of those goodbyes is permanent. After a little break I’m going to really miss these “kids.” But for now we have one last reunion to slog our way through so let’s get this show on the road.
A discussion of the New Orleans Bachelor/Bachelorette party gets serious pretty quickly when Katie announces that all of her fights with Schwartz were Sandoval and Ariana’s fault. Schwartz begs that they add a little asterisk to that thought. You really think an asterisk will cover it, Tom? On the other side of the room, Sandoval makes faces only a teenage girl can pull off. He’s not buying what Katie is selling.
Stassi gets emotional talking about Jax’s apology but no one’s interested in that storyline. Andy wants to know how Brittany felt watching that after being bullied by Jax all season. As she talks about her pain when he refuses to take any responsibility in their relationship, Jax stares her down with seething hostility. He’s been highly reactive to her throughout the entire reunion. I assume they’re hiding their break up because of their spin-off but if they’re still together I’m a little worried for Brittany. Jax’s displeasure reads a little too controlling for my comfort. Jax apologizes to Brittany for apologizing in front of her. He never quite gets it.
Andy asks Katie for her reaction to Sandoval’s tears and Jax advising Schwartz to cancel the wedding at the Gator Hunt. She whines about them not being supportive friends to her. It was all poor Schwartz, poor Schwartz. Sandoval turns it around on the hyenas and yells at them for enabling all of Katie’s drama by laying all the blame on Schwartz. They disagree to agree but it’s clear they’re all awful people.
We revisit drag night, the highlight of the season as far as I’m concerned. Sandoval wins Vanderpump’s Drag Race. James Kennedy talks about the deluge of tweets he got that Ariana’s douchie drag king was clearly modeled after him. And she did it so well.
Kristen gloats about forcing the Vegas Girl fight. She thinks she saved Katie and Schwartz’s marriage by making them deal with it. And she has a point. These two love to ignore problems. Where she loses me is that Vegas Girl was the root of all their issues. Unsurprisingly, the whole thing devolves into a fight between Kristen and Sandoval. They think they’re fighting Katie and Schwartz’s fight but this has always been about their relationship.
Watching Katie and Schwartz fight in New Orleans validated LVP’s initial refusal to ordain the wedding. It was pretty brutal. It really seemed like they hated each other. But now everyone brags about what a wonderful couple they are. Ugh Andy wonders who will get the next Wedding By Bravo. Kristen and Carter? Jax and Brittany? Maybe Tom and Ariana? Kristen jokes that she might be able to trick Carter into marrying her. Could you imagine a whole season of Bridezilla Kristen? Make this happen, Andy Cohen. We deserve it after wading through five months of Katie hell.
Andy makes fun of Schwartz’s river bath on his wedding day. “Is that your definition of woodsy elegance?” Schwartz gets emotional talking about Zach Galifianakis his brothers. Sandoval tears up because, Sandoval. And Andy brings up the best part of the wedding: Sandoval using a dog as a handkerchief. Priceless.
Finally, we get to DJ James Kennedy’s rap performance. Kristen admits she didn’t show up for the sick beats. It was all about the ambush. James starts to get belligerent. Uh oh. Where did “new” James go? He killed the first two reunion episodes. Let’s hope he doesn’t waste all of his goodwill tonight. And he just referred to himself as “the one and only James Kennedy.” As he screams at Kristen about how irrelevant she is, she points out he had a vodka soda at lunch. That’s a wrap, folks. Sober James Kennedy has left the building. Welcome back, douche bag.
Andy warns Scheana that Shay is about to join them. She does her Scheana victim thing. I’m annoyed already. Shay seems nervous to be back. Scheana won’t stop playing with her hair. Andy asks Scheana if she was hiding their issues all season. This week’s excuse is she didn’t want to ruin Katie’s wedding summer. Shay doesn’t want to be her patsy anymore but as soon as he tries to share his side of things, she accuses him of using again. LVP snidely asks who’s money paid for his drugs. Man, Scheana is getting her money’s worth out of testifying for Lisa. As Shay struggles to communicate, Scheana mutters insults and LVP viciously tears into him. The mean girls smell blood in the water and jump on board. Shay is seriously outgunned. Jax is the only one who reminds us that we never know what goes on behind closed doors. They’re both good people. Sometime it just doesn’t work out.
Scheana drops a bombshell: Shay sexted another girl while they were married. While Shay explains his actions, Scheana pulls out her compact and fixes her eye makeup. It’s an incredibly emotional moment and all she cares about is how she looks. Even Andy is disturbed. When he calls her out on it, she complains that she’s uncomfortable. Let’s be real. She’s uncomfortable and vain. Scheana finally admits that she didn’t acknowledge their marital issues partly because she didn’t want to give Brandi-stans the pleasure. I get that. I can’t stand Brandi and even I chuckled a bit when her marriage fell apart. Sue me.
Shay is really upset that Scheana made his drug use her storyline. He expected it to be handled privately between him and his wife. Scheana reasons that if you hurt her, she’ll fuck you over. So she put it on TV to punish him. What a great wife! He complains that now he’s labeled a druggy. She has no sympathy. She’s been labeled a homewrecking whore. Sometimes you get labeled. Deal with it. “I didn’t label you that, though. You labeled yourself that.” Score one for the silent giant.
Shay tells Scheana he’ll always love her but he’s over the relationship. He needed to come to the reunion for closure. Scheana hears from people that follow him on Snapchat that he seems happy. And she’s in a really happy place. So… I guess that’s a happy ending?
Andy does a little wrap up. James not only made it through the reunion, he’s leaving with a new boyfriend (Jax). Sandoval is still crying about opening a restaurant with LVP (even if Schwartz doesn’t believe he’s worthy). And Stassi mended her fences with LVP (even if Lisa doesn’t agree). They bring out Ken, the dogs and Peter serving cocktails to officially close out the season. Pumptinis all around! Well, except for Scheana. Remember, she doesn’t do sugary drinks.
Great season of recaps, Lady C!
I felt really bad for Shay when he explained the labeling. Scheana really effed him over for a storyline. LOVED his comeback of her label though.
This was a very undramatic reunion. No one seems beyond the point of no return with each other. Can’t wait for any casting shakeup tea that TT may have in the future! This show needs a shakeup
I felt bad for Shay. Scheana is a horrible person. To put such a personal thing out there for all to see was reprehensible. She deserves to be alone and anyone who would get mixed up with that bitch should have their head examined.
I agree with your comment… it was all about “The Mean Girls, all four of them”
It looked like Brittany was wearing a slashed bathrobe or her trashed bridesmaid’s gown..
I get that Scheana is no prize but neither is Shay. I used to be team Shay until I realized he was not contributing financially and had no issues using Scheana for money but thought she was a terrible wife/person for everything else. No one forced him to marry her, no one forced him to be jobless, no one forced him to be on the show. If he was unhappy he could leave sans emptying the bank account. Just like Swarrz, no one forced him to choose this woman, the pity act is old. When I’m nervous I compulsively play with my hair so I think Scheana was doing the same thing, maybe not, she is pretty vain.
NO ONE takes out a compact in the middle of a conversation about your marriage breaking up to make sure their mascara isn’t running. She’s a vapid and shallow poor excuse for a woman. I’m glad Shay took her money. She took his dignity and ruined his reputation.
Well, to be fair, he damaged his own reputation by having a drug problem, no job, and mooching off his wife.
Scheana is by no means blameless for making his drug issue public on the tv show, but it was in fact, his issue. She didn’t make it up, she didn’t make him have a drug problem and hide it from his wife, draining their bank account and lying, etc.
From one person in recovery, to another, you gave yourself the “druggie” label, Shay. Because you were one, doesn’t mean you have to STAY one, though.
He can’t put that on her. She was wrong to use it to hurt him, but the truth is the truth and that’s what he was doing at the time. I don’t buy for a single second he was withdrawing large sums of cash to make purchases for his business. You can use a card for that, have a record, especially if you think your wife might ask questions about such large ticket items.
Drawing cash by the hundreds or thousands? No. That’s drugs.
I do like Shay, and I do hope he gets better and finds his voice.
Agree. Whatever addiction Shay had was Shay’s addiction. He had options for help, he had options to leave his wife, he chose to stay and he chose her. I don’t care for Scheana but I don’t blame her for husband’s problems. Scheana was supporting him from the start, he had no problem that. You want respect from your wife? Give her something to respect. Honestly, he whines, all she did was financially support me..all? She asked him I don’t cook or clean? He said not lately and she said because you’re not here! He chose to marry Scheana, he chose to financially drain her, speak/sext with other woman and refuse to get a real job, he chose all that. You can’t blame Scheana for that. If he was miserable he could have left at any time.
She entirely set him up for a pity party for herself and a story line…… Granted he has/had issues, but we don’t know to what extent. Scheana made it to an extent to benefit her
Totally agree with you Brigid.. Yes, Shay has drug issues but that is not for his wife to announce to the entire world on TV. Schenna makes everything all about her. At the same time, I don’t agree with him emptying her bank account, that’s disgusting.
They’re both shitty people. But I find her worse because she embarrassed and humiliated him in front of millions ON PURPOSE.
Brittany was clearly uncomfortable in that toga of a dress, and the cameras kept catching her adjusting it and checking that her boobs weren’t falling out (which they were).
Agreed! What an odd choice!
She’s uncomfortable to watch in that dress
Shay seems like a nice man, and Sheana making her story line his using drugs and then divorcing him without warning on camera.. is so narcissistic of her and devastating for Shay. The fact that Lisa backs Sheana says a lot about Lisa. Shay needed private help — not public exploitation. And I always suspected that Sheana married Shay to stick it to Brandi — as in “I’m married and you are not, Brandi”.. so I am not longer a home wrecking slut and I win”..I am a wife” And for Shay it was a real marriage but for Sheana maybe it never really was.. maybe why Shay was using? Lack of true love snd disillusionment are not helpful.
Shay could have left at any time but that would have stopped his money train. I don’t believe Scheana married Shay to spite Brandi. That’s a huge reach.
Scheana married Shay for his last name and to get a Bravo wedding. She’s a narcissist and there is nothing redeeming about her at all. She outed him as a drug addict on national TV and did it out of vengeance. Who tells their addicted spouse that they want them to drink a little (because she just had to go out all the time)? What a vapid person she is.
I agree, flaunting it publicly was shady as hell, but you would be surprised how many well-intentioned loved ones have no real understanding of addiction at all and do things like expect their addict loved one to moderate for social situations, etc. “why can’t you just have a little?” They literally do not understand.
Scheana sounded absurd at the beginning re: his issues, but that’s not uncommon at all, unfortunately, for someone just beginning to deal with an addicted loved one. It’s ignorance, that’s all. Best case scenario, they learn and come to support the person in a healthy way.
I totally agree. I think she wanted to be Scheana Shay bc it sounded cute and she wanted her wedding on tv- also to be the FIRST of the crew. I know they’re on a reality show but I too think that Shay’s issues (and Scheana’s part in them) should have been dealt with privately and with a professional. I couldn’t exploit my husband’s issues like that- but then again i’m not a rich, reality star… I hope being in a real relationship eventually shows her where she may have gone wrong, and I hope Shay finds his voice and is happy.
his one zinger was worth the wait
Scheana did not propose to herself..
No she didn’t but I bet that she told Shay when & where it was to happen. She picked out the engagement ring where maybe Shay should have been able to do that. She told Shay when he could speak and what he could say on camera. (even some cast mates talked about that last season) Jax for one saying “Shay has no voice” Tom saying that Scheana says when and where Shay can hang out with the boys on camera. She emasculated Shay, that poor guy couldn’t do anything that would have pleased her highness. He wanted to make the music he loved, but if it wasn’t about her, she bitched him out. Scheana is a narcissistic liar. Fixing her make-up while a extremely sad moment is happening? She even shocked LVP, who likely called her out on that after the reunion because she can’t have her lap dog looking bad…Hahaha Too late LVP Mike still looked to afraid to say what he truly wanted too for fear of the wrath of all of them at once. I’m not condoning the “alleged” drug use but I’m thinking that man needed something to drown out that bitchy whiny voice. #js
I really really want James back next season and I want James and Jax to be best friends. When they break up with their girlfriends ( could possibility happen and I think it will) they could become the new “Odd Couple” and move in together..lol. Another possible spin-off for Andy It was a real funny TV show ( the one with Tony Randall & Jack Klugman) cue the theme song…..
Did anyone catch the twitter war last night between the 3 witches of Weho and Lala over ..wait for it…Scheana’s new IG show Scheananigans because she’s important and smart enough to be… Just like Andy… Bwahahaha Apparently there was a lot of Stassi and Mike bashing. I couldn’t find it (maybe because I’m #BlockedByScheana) so if anyone knows of a link Please tell…Thx
I will miss these kids but filming starts again soon and we do have Jax in a barn on a farm to look forward too.
Thanks for the re-caps this season Lady C. See you over at Rupauls Drag Race ❤️?
No but she should have, after all she is the one she loves most.
Didn’t Sheana actually say something like that to Brandi on camera? If I recall correctly? That she was getting married and Brandi was not?
Not to single out Brittany, but is anyone else sick of the giant bovine sagging boobs this year. Seems like every HW show (looking at you Kyle) has the women wearing super revealing unsupportive dresses with their boobs sagging out. I guess men like it? It looks so unflattering IMHO and makes the women look fat.
Fake boobs are out. They look stupid but Brittany IS fat.
I’ll bet Brittany is no bigger than a size 4 or 6 (at least on the bottom). The other girls are such stick figures, they make Brittany look bigger. And of course the gigantic boobs don’t help–she’ll get those reduced one day–maybe even as part of a storyline if she stays on TV.
She was tiny when she came on the show, she’s gotten a lot fuller/thicker. As I’ve said before, it does suit her, but the giant boobs she got aren’t flattering unsupported. I think her frame looked better before she got them.
Katie is no stick figure
That is impossible. She is at least an 8
She’s an 8 on top now, but my bet is that she won’t keep it that way. If she stays on TV, a good stylist will advise her to get smaller implants. My guess is that she’s a 32DD, and a 32 is a pretty small frame. She has a lot to work with with her gorgeous hair and features. And this is just a guess, but post-college binge-drinking does have a way of catching up with one, not to mention that the camera does add pounds. I think Brittany is a petite person in real life.
Remember how great Brandi looked when she had “B-cup” implants (and a lot less in the way of facial fillers)?
Regardless, a size 8 is not “big,” I’m just sayin’ 🙂
Breaking news! Men no longer like big titties unless they are certified organic.
You are so right. Big saggy boobs do Not slim a girl down . It is not appropriate to dress in plunging necklines, when you’re a mom w/ a very impressionable 9 year old (Kyle). But even Ariana went from cute small breasts to noticeable w/ cleavage. Brittany went too large AND gained weight -a bad look for TV. Thankfully tubular titty Katie got hers fixed. Hers look good now. Look in seasons past – her boobs were the only ones needing fixing and she probably could’ve gotten insurance to pay since it is considered a deformity.
VPR is my favorite reality show (I quit RHOC and this is my last, only watched half of, RHOBH). It is the best escape from reality. It’s like eating cotton candy. Fluffy, sweet, spun air.
I’ll bet jax picked out the dress! He picked her boobs! Which makes her look heavier
“Man, Scheana is getting her money’s worth out of testifying for Lisa.”
This is just one of the many reasons why I love you. Thanks so much for recapping this season. Even if it makes my blogs look even worse. 🙂
I must have fallen asleep at the end. I missed them rolling out Ken and the dogs. Giggy actually gets paid on his own contract while lots of men, like Ken do not. I am not making this up.
Tamara, this is some of the best intel, ever! I love hearing about the rich and famous, even if they are dogs! My dog Charlotte could have been a star!!
Thank you, Lady C., for the recaps, and thank you, Tamara, for providing the blog and added insight about show details. (I’m cracking up that Giggy has his own contract!)
Love this site!
Sometimes Giggy looks more animate than Ken..not saying much.
I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen to those GIGANTIC photos Scheana had hanging everywhere of her wedding. I mean they had to have been 40″ x 60″ at least.
She will keep the frames… save any picture of her..shred Shay’s.
They would make nice targets in a cow chip throwing contest but an Ashley Madison sandwich sign has potential. Channel markets during yacht season perhaps?
I hated Scheana already and I was still shocked when she said to her husband, “this is what I do. you hurt me, I fuck you over.” Wow.
I also felt like it seemed that Jax and Brittany may have broken up, or at least were having a big fight. I’m sure the constant pressure on them to get married isn’t helping.