I didn’t even realize it but I’ve been avoiding tonight’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Cleaned the fish tank. Put away laundry. Played with the dog. Everything but watch my favorite show. What’s up with that? You know how seriously I take drag. It cheers me up when I’m down and makes the good times shine even brighter. I talk about it with everyone. I even have a whole category of “drag friends” for this express purpose. But after two weeks of subpar episodes, I’m scared. I don’t think I can handle another disappointment. It means too much to me. So, in my best Farrah Moan whine, I beg. Please be good tonight. Please.
Last week my least favorite queen went home (goodbye message: Hey ladies, I 
you all! Sisters 4 ever. Kimmy). Bye girl, bye. The other queens are a little kinder about her exit than I am. For a brief moment, at least. They quickly move on to watching Aja eat crow for being in the bottom two and watching Trinity Taylor crow about her win. Shea Couleé, the bone carrier, asks Trinity how it felt coming for Valentina’s spot? I mean, she’s clearly the It girl of the season and it’s eating Trinity up. But before a Shea-instigated fight can begin, Aja and Alexis Michelle tell Valentina she didn’t deserve top three. Yes, her outfit was simple but shouldn’t she get extra points for making so much out of so little? Plus, her mythology and sidekick slayed. She’s witty, pretty and the queen to beat. Suck on it.
The next day, the queens are refreshed and ready for a new challenge. I’m gritting my teeth in anticipation of another advertising non sequitur. Madame Tussaud’s, anyone? But Ru has flipped the script and that gives me hope. No inane sponsorship, no She Done Already Done Had Herses message. Wow. This must be a complicated maxi-challenge if we’re getting right to it.
MAXI-CHALLENGE
This week’s maxi-challenge is co-hosting two rival morning shows. Live. They already did this in Season three. I guess RuPaul supports recycling. The team captains are last week’s challenge and lip-sync winners Trinity and Aja. For team Good Morning Bitches, Aja picks Valentina first, followed by Shea Couleé, Sasha Velour, Alexis Michelle and Farrah Moan. For team Not On Today, Trinity chooses Peppermint, Charlie Hides, Cynthia Lee Fontaine and Eureka. Nina Bo’nina Brown, the unpicked girl, goes to Trinity. I don’t get it. I think Nina is super talented. But Valentina wasn’t picked for the cheer challenge and she ended up winning the whole thing. Don’t count Nina out yet.
Trinity claims she chose Eureka to prove to Ru that she can work with anyone (shade). Eureka puts that to the test immediately. She has a lot of opinions. Lots and lots of opinions. Trinity won’t consider a single one. She makes it clear she’s team leader and she knows what’s best for Not On Today. Her bossy attitude only makes matters worse. The other girls just put their heads down and try to survive. It’s going to be the war of the pageant queens, all night.
And if that’s not bad enough, Charlie and Cynthia have their own issues in their entertainment segment. Charlie wants to corral Cynthia while Cynthia thinks her charm comes from being loose and zany. They’re working at cross purposes and this is sure to bite one of them on the ass. Who it will be remains to be seen.
Good Morning Bitches do their live telecast first. Director Ross Matthews tells them to embrace their mistakes. It’s good advice but not so easy to achieve in the moment. Alexis and Farrah make it through their first anchor segment without any errors. Without any laughs, either. Valentina is nervous about her entertainment segment with Aja. And she should be. It’s downright awkward. Valentina does her best (and looks amazing doing it) but they have zero chemistry. It’s like a dud firework. So much promise, no sizzle.
Shea and Sasha save the day with their double entendre filled DIY segment about chocolate. They have the humor missing from Alexis and Farrah and the chemistry lacking from Aja and Valentina. Ross can barely hold it together. After the tension of the first two disastrous segments, it feels good to laugh. Guest judge Naya Rivera joins the queens for a View style interview. It’s fine but boring.
Now it’s time for Not On Today to do their thing. Let’s see how all the infighting affects their broadcast. Trinity and Peppermint, as lead anchors, try to be funny. They’re really, really not. Peppermint has hard time going live. She stumbles over her words and never recovers her stride. During the entertainment segment, it’s clear that Cynthia is off the leash. And it’s a good thing. She even makes Trinity laugh off-camera. It’s not so good for Charlie, though. Her strict adherence to the script takes all the fun out of her performance and throws her off her game. It’s sad.
Once again, it’s the DIY segment that gets Ross laughing. Nina truly shines. She makes drag on a dime with Ramen wigs and ham hip pads fun. Eureka gets a bit overshadowed but she doesn’t realize it. They all reconvene for their Naya Rivera interview. The only interesting part is Ross’ face when Charlie interrupts one of Naya’s stories to ask a followup question. Awkward. As the interview winds down, Trinity and Peppermint miss their cue to wrap things up. Charlie decides to save the day by ending the segment for them. But she does it so abruptly that her co-hosts, and Naya, don’t know how to react. Sorry, Charlie, but tonight just isn’t your night.
As the girls beat their faces for the runway, Aja and Valentina talk it out. Aja realizes that she’s been taking her frustration out on Valentina. I’m impressed. That’s not how I expected this face-off to go down. Charlie, as the oldest queen, talks about the early days of AIDS. We lost so many people in the 80’s and 90’s. It’s heartbreaking. Charlie breaks down. The younger generation comforts her. And then the fighting starts. Eureka makes an eating disorder joke about Valentina and Sasha Velour gets offended. She has a history with eating disorders and Eureka’s barb hit a nerve. Eureka doesn’t like being made the bad guy. She makes jokes to take power away from her demons. As she points out, overeating is a disorder too. As much as they try, they’re unable to understand each other. It’s two hurt people lashing out from pain.
RUNWAY
RuPaul looks messy tonight. Her wig shape is off and her Southern Belle dress just looks granny. Judges Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews are joined by Naya Rivera and Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman. It’s Jay from Unreal! In a silly ascot. I can’t explain how happy that makes me.
The runway category is Naughty Nighty. I guess I just don’t like this theme. There are a few good looks: Farrah Moan in her standard burlesque shtick, Sasha Velour in a corset and boy titties and Charlie Hides showing the youngsters that you’re never too old for lingerie. But for the most part, it’s a bust. Alexis Michelle does herself no favors in undies and a flowered robe. Aja looks like she got her outfit at Frederick’s of Hollywood. Maybe she ran into Valentina there. Nina Bo’nina Brown’s look says it better than I ever could: balloon tits, exaggerated hip pads and a skull face.
Shea Couleé and Sasha Velour are immediately named winners of the challenge. It’s a little jarring when RuPaul doesn’t follow established protocol but c’mon, they had the only successful segment in the whole challenge. And my girl Sasha finally got the win she deserved!
The Good Morning Bitches team is safe.
Which means Trinity, Peppermint, Charlie Hides, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Eureka and Nina Bo’nina Brown are up for elimination. Trinity gets knocked for her bitchy persona in the challenge. She made a choice and the judges didn’t like it. Peppermint’s runway outfit is just sad. And she showed her ass. Literally. Charlie Hides gets points for her outfit but not her controlled challenge performance. Cynthia, on the other hand, played to her talents and it payed off. Eureka and Nina are the stars of their team. Nina breaks down in tears. She’s just so grateful to be on Drag Race but Ross warns her she’ll need a tough skin to make it all the way through.
RuPaul asks who deserves to go home and why. Trinity and Peppermint hide behind the judges’ critiques and choose Charlie. Charlie says Peppermint’s look is too basic. Cynthia is honest and names Peppermint because she’s big competition. Eureka unsurprisingly throws Trinity under the bus. Trinity freaks and we get another great Ross reaction shot. Nina rounds things out by choosing captain Trinity.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two queens up for elimination are Trinity Taylor and Charlie Hides. They perform I Wanna Go by Britney Spears.
Trinity Taylor is on fire. She doesn’t think she deserves to be in the bottom and she’s determined to get back in the workroom and makes Eureka pay. Charlie Hides is deciding what movie to watch on her flight home. It’s making me sad. I’m impressed that Charlie’s bad attitude and lack of effort aren’t affecting Trinity’s performance. It’s hard to share a stage with someone who’s not even trying. The queens shout at Charlie to get going but she’s done. It’s clear who’s going home. Trinity Taylor, shantay you stay. Charlie Hides, sashay away.
Next week: Todrick Hall is back to direct the queens in a musical about reality stars.
And don’t forget to watch Untucked, right here at TamaraTattles.com!
What is going on with the shitty lip syncing this season?! How can you come on this show in season 9 and say you don’t lip sync? It boggles the mind.
She said in England drag queens sing live so she doesn’t lip-sync. I bet she doesn’t just stand there like a sack of potatoes when she sings live so that excuse doesn’t fly with me. She was tired & ready to go home. As Lisa Rinna would say, “Own it!”
I read an interview with her where she said she cracked a rib during the cheerleading challenge and was in pain. But she also said she’d only ever heard the song twice before, so clearly there’s no shortage of excuses.
Do you know when they find out the lip sync song of the week?
Hmmm, I don’t. They have them on Untucked but that’s the night of the runway. I watched her mouth. It looked like she knew all the words. The problem was her performance.
They can’t talk about it because of the fourth wall but Drag Race is intense. It’s non-stop challenges & you’re completely cut off from anyone you know. They have long days of work & then get locked in their hotel rooms. Charlie has been in the biz for years. She’s paid her dues so in her real life she probably doesn’t have to slog as hard as a new girl. I think Drag Race was too much for her. She gave up.
I think you’re right.
I thought maybe the high high heels kept her from moving but then she didn’t even shuffle her feet. I agree, she was tired and was done.
Am I ever going to get an explanation for why Valentina shaved three fourths of her damn eyebrows???? That had to be some sort of hazing in her sleeping thing, right? She has BEAUTIFUL BROWS when the game started, just look at her talking head!
I hate Trinity because she hates Eureka, but she slayed that lip sync and Charlie’s decision to just save energy for packing was simply good energy management.
This seaon is bad. Why have a runway if you are literally going to show five seconds of each queen? If you blink you miss it! What happened to the mini challenges? The actual judging went so fast, I didn’t even see who won and was expecting a winner out of Eureka and Nina.
Nina needs to stop fucking crying. I am sure I’ll have more later. I’m a busy little bee today.
In drag, the higher the eyebrows, the closer to god. And it’s completely unacceptable to use the eyebrows you’re born with. It’s hard to cover them so many queens just shave them off. I’m not quite sure why Valentina didn’t go all the way but I surmise she uses the parts she kept and draws on the rest. I appreciate that she’s willing to look like a lunatic for her art. It shows true commitment.
Her real eyebrows were perfection and she won with them. And how is she supposed to dress like a boy now? She’s a really hot boy. This whole eyebrow thing is quite distressing.
I knew I was forgetting something! NO WENDY WILLIAMS TONIGHT! There was much speculation she was fired. Then at the VERY END OF THE SHOW there was an advertisement she would be back next week.
I didn’t notice she was missing until I saw the ad! She just called Tyrese gay for being a misogynist (as if you have to be one to be the other) so she might really be on the way out.
Like all bigots are assholes but all assholes are not bigots? Hope the bigoted asshole sashays the tuck away.
I hope Wendy does not comeback, she ads zero to the show. I agree RuPaul’s wig looked like a George Washington wanna be and the dress was meh. The whole show is not as good since the move. What hahahappened ! If you blinked you missed the runway, that’s my favorite part. Valentina gives me hope this season could be saved, but I will wait for the snatch game to pick a favorite.
“I don’t lip sync.” And the elimination is based on a lip sync. She can quit you Ru. Bye Charlie?
I was expecting Ru to go full Tyra.
“I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU CHARLIE!!! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!!!!” *nervous breakdown*
Maybe he wasn’t rooting for him.
I’m not loving this season so far. I think when Rupal’s Drag Race was on Logo, it was a cool, unique underground TV show. Now that Drag Race has been transferred to VH1, it’s sold itself down the mainstream rabbit hole, and not for the better . The product placements and commercials incorporated into the broadcast make a lot of money for VH1, but they’re disturbing and not what i think of as Drag!. Wendy Williams isn’t on the show to offer insight to those of us who followed the show from Logo. To us, Wendy’s a distraction who takes time away from behind the scenes interactions between the queens. Wendy’s job on Drag Race, is to invite her talk show audience, many of whom may be disinclined to watch a show about drag queens, and say “come watch the show. It’s fun and look, I’m kind of a drag queen myself, so it ok.
That’s my take on this season and the switch to VH1. I don’t think it’s going well.
Is that why this season is so bad? Because it’s not on the gay channel anymore? Well for fuck sake put it back there. If suddenly everything is changed to play to a new audience of breeders, the whole damn thing is a goner.
Why isn’t Antifa handling this fascist issue?
You know, it’s really not worth it for me to put a thoughtful post on this site. Bye felicia.
I’ve been trying to support the switch because visibility increases acceptance but Sequoia is right. This season has definitely lost it’s edge. What made Drag Race so successful CAN translate to a larger audience. We don’t need Wendy Williams to make drag palatable. VH1 needs to remember that RuPaul won an Emmy for a reason. Don’t mess with success. I’m still hopeful they’ll realize their mistakes & make some fixes in editing like they did with season 7.
Rupaul is just as gorgeous out of drag as in drag. I was reading this post and decided to look up Rupaul’s age. Same as mine. I need a new dermatologist!
I am so happy I can come to this safe place to vent! Charlie Charlie Charlie!! I mean seriously. I sing live. That’s the best you could do. I’m with Mark and totally thought Ru would have a Tyra moment but she kept it classy. I almost hate Trinity went all out but she is a professional and put on a damn good show.
Where is the charm? We need the C.U.N.T put back in the show. Get rid of Wig and add our mini challenges back! The way they rushed through the runway made my eyes hurt. Come on VH1.
Great recap as always Lady C!