Okay. Stop everything. I am half away drinking my coffee expecting to see the epic pairing of Luann D’Agostino and Andre Leon Talley. This is what my recording tell me to expect. I do not like to be disappointed. Instead I get Lu and Bridgett Everett. At first I thought Bridgett must be one of those Oklahoma people that talk about shitting the bed. You know, the one that wears a Rubbermaid glove to smoke in the car. Oh you don’t know? You should definitely write down the fact that you have been spared from this in your Oprah Gratitude Journal. I am not awake enough for loud New York comedian with a purse dog in her ample lamp. I assume she has a really big purse.
I was ready for droll critique of the New York housewives get-ups from last night’s odd little hat party. I was anticipating Andy to inquire about Mariah’s mental health or Milania’s miserable treatment by certain uppity fashion designers. I was not prepared for loud, brash New York humor. I do not do change well. Plus, the bitch is sitting in Luann’s seat, and she is literally a seat filler. I want to abandon ship. I want to pretend I never saw what I am seeing. But I have that guilt that parents have when they sneak away for a few hours and forget about the kids. I spent several glorious hours detached completely from you, my needy, bickering children and I feel the need to show you that Mama always comes back.
Luann’s sister is behind the bar. That’s sweet. I love me some Luann.
Okay it was late last night when I got around to recapping RHONY, and I was not full invested in my recap experience to try to figure out what Ramona was saying to Carole about the issues between Sonja and Dorinda. If I had been writing the closed captions I would have just written ‘unintellagiblele” (OMG can you imagine if the deaf had to rely on my transcribing of the housewives shows? It would be a big hodge podge of me misspelling the word unintelligible all night long. Like the incoherent leading the blind!) In the light of day “burro the hodgeit” seems to mean “bury the hatchet.” Who knew?
Andy decides to make the shady boot moment Bethenny’s comment about being to big for a hat. First of all, if ever there was a moment for one of the stupid montages of the show we just watched, tonight was it. If there is not a montage of Bethenny bitching and insulting everything and everyone tonight then clearly Andrew and Bethenny have made up. Secondly, I have the biggest head in the world. This is why I am smarter than you. I gots the most brainz.
Andy has Lu play a game called Wedded Diss involving people (housewives) who were at her wedding. It is then we find out fascinating tidbits such as:
- Kelly Bensimon gave her a Tiffany Vase that she loves
- Marysol and Dorinda had the most fun at the bar.
- Jill took the most selfies
- A friend of Tom’s caught the bouquet
We get a montage of all the shade at the garden party. Pretty much every word uttered at that party was a put down.
Luann says that she and Bethenny are closer this season than they usually are. They got through “a moment” and we are…. long pause…”big friends.” Bridgett leads the peals of laughter as Luann tries to keep a straight face and fails.
Luann doesn’t regret not inviting the other wives to her wedding. It was a special night and she just wanted people who love her and support her and want her to be happy surrounding her and that is what she got. She has no regrets at all. She had an on camera party for all the ladies when she got back from her honeymoon. Click that link for all the details about who was in attendance. Kyle is not the only housewife with a customized Judith Leiber clutch. Check out what Bethenny’s says in the link above.
Ramona has been tweeting in all night attacking Luann for still having Countess on her Twitter account. Oh Ramona,
I love how Bridget stuck up for Luann all night with Ramona, and when Andy asked about Bethenny copying her hair. Bridget pointed out that Luann was giving her a compliment when she said Bethenny’s old hairstyle looked a lot like hers.