It’s the finale of RHOA, and yet there are FIVE MORE EPISODES before it is really over. FIVE! I’m already looking for reasons to call in sick for the next five Sundays. But tonight we get to laugh at the staged Chateau Sheree!
Kandi and Riley need to wrap up the whole Block/Daddy situation. So they go to Orient Express. That is over close to me and to where Kandi used to live. It’s on a train car. I don’t think I’ve ever actually gone in but it’s been there for a million years.
When Block arrives, Riley gets nervous and will not open her mouth. Kandi plays Riley’s song for Block and he is a bit taken about by the lyrics. Kandi steps away from the table to try to force Riley to open her mouth and speak to her father. Things don’t go well. Later, Block says that Kandi has brainwashed her against him. Block gives a half-hearted apology and promises to do better. Riley doesn’t seem that interested at this point.
Time for Phaedra to stir up more problems for Kandi. The firm has decided that he has no case for claims that he wrote her play or designed her restaurant. Really, I’m shocked! Said no one. The new attorney (same firm) wants to go after Kandi for overtime pay. She brings up Kandi’s wedding. How did she happened to know he planned that I wonder. Also that was a wedding by Bravo so this case has no merit either, but it looks like we are still in pretend land. Never in my life have I heard of a wedding planner getting paid overtime for a wedding. They are paid by the event not by the hour. Nevertheless, Phaedra claims she has calculated the his hourly wages for the wedding. But she has nothing to do with this case, y’all.
Dwight looks great! I’m so glad to see him looking healthy and dapper. I love me some Dwight!
It’s the day of the housewarming and the entire place is full of ladders. Because the staging was apparently rented for 24 hours. The only furniture Sheree had was for one bedroom and that was a promotional placement by that one guy that was pretending to be her interior designer. Does anyone else think she borrowed Kim’s chandelier for the great room? The rest all came on the day of the party. But Sheree herself claims that the party is “less than a week away” when she is telling the event planner what she wants. You can see when they are atop the wobbly columns on the back of the house that the poor backfence neighbor has had to put up actual walls on their back patio to block the view and the noise. And those are the new neighbors. The ones that lived there when she started this nonsense only made a a few months before fleeing the scene.
Why she got a team of bakers in there. Gurl? Ain’t nobody buying this. Did we not see THIS CAKE from the event?
Speaking of things we are not buying, I was wondering how Sheree was going to account for the fact that she has no appliances in that house. Well, the answer is, she’s going to lie. And she is going to make another guy lie about it as well. Supposedly “they brought the wrong kind of appliances.” Ha! There were photos posted on Instagram by some florist guy who agreed to provide flowers for her fake Christmas card shoot in December and they were on the kitchen island and the giant empty places where the appliances should be were still there. This woman is such a liar. There are still no appliances in that kitchen. She finally did get some in the second kitchen that my sources say were in a storage unit and taken out of the house on Long Island Drive when all the fixtures went missing. Allegedly.
The Partial Housewarming
Sheree says she has hired security to keep people out of the unfinished parts of the house. This is comical. The people who are not related to the show who are in attendance are the most current contractors at the time who were unaware that the chances of them actually being paid is quite low. I wonder if they are part of this class action lawsuit to have the house sold to pay off her debts? I often wonder if she really meant to have the exterior be that smeared feces finish of if there was supposed to be a color on top of it that never got completed. A fresh coat of some light color would may it look less like a women’s federal facility.
Anyway, it’s time for the event. As every Atlanta socialite knows, when throwing a housewarming party, it’s important to go a step farther than hiring security to keep people out of the unsafe parts of the house. It’s also important to make it a masked extravaganza that includes some sort of strippers hanging off of poles and other acrobatic performers. This is way more important than say, having a functional kitchen.
At least Thelma got to come.
I must say, I do love Sheree’s ensemble. I’m down with anything that has black pants as the base. There is a full on black ball gown type skirt that is open in the front and the top is all black and gold.
Porsha tries to hug Kandi at the party like she was not talking shit about her all over town, and as someone I know would say, she almost drew back a couple of stumps. Kandi is in the house five minutes tops before Sheree starts her bone carrying about Johnny and his lawsuit.
Porsha tells Phaedra about Apollo’s side piece was at the OLG party. Phaedra thinks that Kandi and Todd invited them and I have no doubt that is what Carlos told her. So Phaedra and Kandi are both pissed with each other at this event. Oh Dwight! Why are you over on the side of the two idiots? You are better than this!
Lisa Wu shows up. Andy has already alluded to the fact that lots of former housewives will make appearances next season. Next in is Kim and Kroy and they play the “something is about to go down” music for their entrance. Speaking of entrances, Matt arrived holding Kenya’s dress up off the lawn for this event but he has been almost completely erased from the editing. Kim struts right past Kandi without saying a word.
Shady Kenya grabs up Kandi and drags her down into the moldy basement. ROFLMAO. The above photo is a partial glimpse of this floor which is not really a basement, it’s the area that you come in from the garage. Not sure what it is going to be. You can see where the walls have been removed four or five feet from the floor where all the water damage was. She even tried to sue her insurance company because she let her own damn house sit in water so long that the neighbors eventually called 911 over the water gushing over the sides of the balconies for days.
Sheree’s friend goes to get the out of the moldy basement. Sheree has a full on fit about it. Now Kenya has seen some of her unfinished house. There is more, Kenya, you got busted too early. So the girls make it to the bedroom that Sheree claims is on the same floor, because “everything related to the party is on this one floor.” Wanna know shy that is? Come on, I bet you can guess what the situation is upstairs. What’s that Iyanla? Did you say “incomplete?” The best part of that Iylana show is that is was airing around the time that Sheree was dragging Atlanta bloggers into court like it was some damn secret that her house wasn’t finished in 2013!!!
Kenya points out that Sheree has the exact same lighting fixtures that she picked out. Kenya spent months on IG posting different fixtures and trying to decide which to put where. Apparently, she was doing all of that legwork for Sheree too because her designer got her the exact same ones. How did that happen? Sheree says that Kenya must not have had the lights she has when she had her housewarming. ROFLMAO. Production shows the ones at Kenya’s housewarming and the one’s at Sheree’s housewarming. These are the kind you pick up at Home Depot. They are special order. Sheree denies that they are the same. Sheree also has Kenya’s custom bed. The fabric is just a different color and the lines go a different direction.
Kenya tries to leave the room (and peep at some other rooms) but Sheree jumps in front of her and tells her she is not going to lead in her house, as any civilized hostess would do. The tour goes to the closets so they are upstairs and in Sheree’s real bedroom, that whole “everything is on this floor” was a lie. I know this because I’ve seen that closet and there is no way that weird shaped closet could be in more than one location. The entire top floor is full or round rooms and crazy shapes. I believe that giant floral fabric must have been hung to try to make the bedroom a more normal shape.
Kenya walks around and points out that her clothes have the exact color scheme she has. She says it’s cute, and about half the size of hers. I know she means the closets, and that is true. But Sheree’s mystery friend that’s job is to follow Kenya around starts literally screaming at Sheree, “She says it’s about half the size of hers!”
Sheree loses her mind because Kenya is calling her out on everything. But wait, Sheree came wandering through her house talking about baseboards when Sheree is literally missing half the walls from the floor up in several of her rooms. She can’t take Kenya pointing out that she copied her style and that her closets are small and weirdly shaped?
Kim and Kenya get into a round of low blows that is beneath both of them and doesn’t bear repeating. But even though Kim made some fantastic faces, it’s hard to say either of them won this round of disgusting behavior. They both should be ashamed.
Sheree is pissed that they are taking the cameras off of her so she rips her over skirt off and says the pantsuit is her superwoman costume because she built this house all by herself. This remind me of an interaction between my lawyer and Sheree when Sheree swore under oath that she was the contractor on the site. So My attorney asked her if (in 2013) the house had a certificate of occupancy. Sheree, the contractor didn’t know what that was. She still doesn’t have one in 2017 but since it has been brought up in court again recently when she went to pay the fines for having this party without a permit, at least she knows she needs one.
I like this Kandi and Kenya alliance forming for season ten with Nene and Cynthia. Oh dear God Kenya Moore did not just quote that 13 year old juvenile delinquent from the Dr Phil show. What is wrong with my girl this episode?
It was in the mid 80s at the end of October when this was filmed and there was no HVAC in the house. Folks were hot! The lights might well have been running off a generator at that time as well.
Phaedra and Kandi finally talk and Phaedra says she hates that she was not at the OLG party. Kandi says it was for the best since the side piece showed up. Kandi says if she would have known ahead of time she would never have allowed it to happen. Kandi apologizes. Phaedra tells Kandi that attorneys are not allowed to say if they speak to anyone about representation. That’s a lie. She does say that she is not his attorney. Phaedra says she doesn’t seek out clients. Kandi doesn’t believe a word she says.
The end notes were all things I have told y’all here before. But Porsha marketing a cleanse called, “The Dump” is so very Porsha and makes me laugh and be grossed out every time I read it. Matt was cut out of the photo of everyone standing at the bottom of the stairs. But he was in it for the promo reel (See screengrab above).
Sheree’s end notes make it known that Sheree doesn’t really live in the Chateau… Shady. I thought they would go along with the farce.
And that is a wrap on season nine. Sort of.